julie1

hi, i dont get on the pc much but when i read this i just had to say congratulations a hell of a fight but it all turned out well in the end. I also have been to tribunal for 3 of my children and won but it really takes everything out of you as a parent. Its a disgrace that parents have to go through all this just to give there child an education. I wished so much that things were different but they are the way they are. But stories like this inspired me to fight and gave me the courage to see it through. Best of luck to your family now with this fresh new start.

my daughter who is almost 14 has a lot of difficulties with her legs, she has developmental co-ordination delay, i think its the same as Dyspraxia. her legs are turned inwards and her legs rub together at the top. She does have to take a lot of pain killers and it is worse at the moment with it being so hot. Un fortunatly she finds all sports hard and painful, her insoles have helped the pain in her feet but there seems to be very little anyone can do for the pain in her hips. She had a xray to make sure there was no slip in the growth plates and was told she would just have to get use to the pain. The poor girl often has blisters and very sore thighs from the rubbing but this is not a weight problem as she is only 7.5 stone its just the way she is made. If anyon else knows anything it would be very interesting to see if i can help my daughter even in a small way.

I wanted to leave a message for everyone who uses this site. I have been on and off this site for a couple of years now and have been given some fantastic advice. Sometimes is nice just to chat and get some problems off your chest, it helps me to feel normal to konow that im not alone.thank you everyone and I hope you and your familes all have a fantastic christmas and best wishes for the new year.

we were at camhs today to discuss all4 of my children, when we got onto my 3rd daughter they deciced that they may not be the best people to help her due to the LD. they mentioned a LD team that may or may not take on her needs? Its something to do with her having a low IQ they apparently dont work with children with a low IQ. but they did agree that my daughter need s support and that someone needs to be going into school to try and help the situation. The head of the school has not phoned this week as promised but my daughter has only been in for 2 days because of the snow so maybe the head has had trouble getting in. the school do usually get back to me when they say they will. My youngest daughter who is 5 was tested last may and we discussed the outcome today they said that they just wernt sure if she has aspergers or a language disorder with sensory difficulties and have asked us to wait another 6 months when they will test her again. I was a little fed up as it felt again like a waste of time but i do understand that they need to get it right. So i will just wait for her to get a little older and see how we go.

sorry but with4 children i dont get the chance to get on the laptop much, but i do appeciate the replies. you sound like you know my daughter she has so many of the difficulities you have written above. She has a speech therapist every week to help her poor language skills. Im not to sure what sensory intergration or executive function is but i will look it up. we are at Camhs tomorrow to talk about how things are going they have not met this daughter but they are fully aware of my other 3 children. She has hugh problems in thinking ahead she even gets in the car without her shoes on to go shopping its such hard work. im not sure but it really feels like she does the oppersite to everything we ask her to do though im not sure if this is done on purpose. she has no concept of time and cannot tell the time but she is starting to get the hang of o clock and half past. This week school has been better so far no one has told her off so perhaps the Head has done something i really hope so. Anyway im now going to look up those other things you said to see if they shed any light on the situation. thanks again.

thanks for the replies. My daughter is at an independent school which caters for children on the spectrum as well as other difficulties that some of our children have. I kept her home today and the head phoned me, he seemed suprised at what has happened and was not fully aware of what is happening this week, he has promised to look into it and phone me next week. The head said my daughter was offered lunch at a different sitting with the seniors and she refused and wanted to go for lunch with her own year group. He was not made aware that she had nothing to eat and drink. I explained that i felt the school was not meeting my daughters needs and me pointed out that my youngest is very different to the oldest 2. The head went on to say she is moody and reluctant to comply with the teaching staff. I reminded the head of the severity of my daughters difficulties epilepsy add extreemly poor memory and LD although we are not to sure on her real IQ, and the head went on to say her autistic type difficulties as well. He is going to sit down with the staff and come up with a new approach to her needs. I explained that shouting at my daughter to put her jumper in the bin because she had chewed it so much it was comming appart, would not help her as she is so anxious. I do not know of anyother school to take her to our local mainstream schools cannot meet her needs and she will be in the PRU if she schools at home. Our local MLD school said they did not feel it was the right place for my daughter and i know i wouldnt cope with home school. i feel my daughter is trapped and will have to learn to cope only im not sure she ever will. She is also hitting pubity at the moment, i just wish the school could find something positive to do with my daughter.

hi i havent been on for a while but im sure some of you will remember me and can offer some sdvice. My oldest 3 children are all at an independent school and i did a tribunal for 3 of them and the LA backed down at the last min with the last 2. My oldest 2 are doing so well there they just seem to fit in and are making progress, in fact im now batteling to keep my oldest there for 6th form. the problem is my youngest of the 3 she is really struggling and doesnt seem to fit at all. She is very unhappy and is tearing up her clothes and destroying her belongings. The school seem to have a victorian approach to all the children and while it works for the older children it is not working for my younger daughter. We have had several phone calls and even a letter detailing how bad my daughters behaviour is complaining of all the usual bad eye contact unwilling to join in sulkly moody ect. On tuesday she got into a fight with another child and it became phisical this is unusual as she does not like touch. The teacher explained in a home school book that both were to blame and both girls said sorry to each other. I backed the school up and sent my daughter to bed early. all was well on wednesday then today she was taken to Matron and told she needed to appologise again to the other girl as she was so traumatised by the fight on tuesday, my daughter refused and walked back to her lesson. She was then taken by the deputy head and placed into isolation from 9.30 until 4.30 tonight when she was told to go to prep. My daughter was told that all the staff were fed up with her and told she was to stay by herself all day. My daughter had no snack or lunch or drink durring this time. There was nothing in her home school book although i did get a phone call at 4.00pm to tell me she was in isolation for the afternoon because of her rudeness to matron walking away from her whilst she was talking to my daughter. Iam very upset about this as it just seems endless this school is not working for my youngest daughter. Where do i go now who do i go for advice ? If i go back to LA they will just want to put her back into mainstream and that never worked she was only doing 1 hour a day before this school. Imaffraid this school will crush her but im also afraid there is nothing else. I dont know what to do from here on.

for my son the ed psy had to come and do some tests with him. such as writting how many words per min, were they readable,and all the other tests they do each time they visted. my son then got given a laptop for his own use along with software to help him. Only problem now is its 18 months later and its not working hasnt from last may, the LA will not let me fix it and they are dragging there heals as to when they will fix it. he is in yr 11 so im very worried but he has his annual review next week so fingers crossed.

thats brilliant news, i was wondering how you had got on. I hope you manage lunch to get out for lunch now as you have written. its so nice to have some time for yourself, and you deserve it as we all do.

good luck for tomorrow

i remember when my son was 2 and a bit years old and a friend said to me that she thought my son had autism. I was really upset as i thought my son was perfect. I left her house and we did not talk again for quite a while, i was to upset with her and myself for realising my son was different. He started school at 3 and they said they thought he may have autism and he was assessed. This was made a little easier by my old friend who already said when he was 2 and a bit that he may have autism. My point is your friend may have already heard that he may have ASD or even been assesed but not quite reached the threshold for a diagnoisis. Have a chat with him but be very careful as this could ruin your friendship.

thats great news, you must be very pleased. What now for his future has your son deciced yet ?

Boy, i found this very interesting to read. Ima mother to a 15 year old son who really wants to work when he finishes school. It great to read your story and im very happy for you. Good for you trying more hours i really hope it works out. My son will find working hard as he hates noise and crowds of people. However he loves swimming and wants to teach but my fear is he will find a paid job hard to come by. But reading your post has helped me to relise that there are people out there that want to help others in getting a job and keeping it. I really hope there is help for my son when his turn is here. Good luck in september, your mum must be very proud of you.

thats fantastic news, well done to you.

I went to tribunal the first time having payed for a private splg report,i did not have any one to talk for me as i could not aford legal help ect. However the pannel did not let the LA intimidate me at all and if they started using long words they were asked to stop and have respect for everyone in the room. I won the case and my child is now at an independent school with speech therapy and OT each week. I also went to tribual for a second and third time with my other children. I was told i would not win i had intimidating phone calls. I was promised all sorts of educational bribes if i didnt go to tribunal. I stuck strong with what i belived to be right but it was far from easy. I won on both the other cases as well and the LA backed down just before tribunal. All 3 of my older children go to the school of my choice with all the support they need. My son was described as a througly desent young man in his school report, which is a hugh contrast to his previous schools. I hope things go as well for your child, i would say stay strong always be honest with the pannel if the LA say anything which is untrue write it down you will be given your chance to state why you feel it is untrue, know your evidence well so you can say for eg. blah blah blah is not true if you go to page such and such you can then prove what you are saying. Im sure this helped me as the LA twist the evidence to suit themselves. Dont be afraid of going alone the pannel will always treat you well and insist that everyone else does as well. remember you know your child better than anyone else and stay polite and calm throughout. if you need a break to pull yourdelf together just ask. its better than not speaking up because emotionally you are unable to speak. That happened to me and the pannel were great and called a timeout for everyone. i dont no when your tribunal is, but i really wish you good luck and remember the LA and the pannel are human its not as scarry as you think it will be.

when i was at tribunal the pannel said they would not be including travel costs as there was a taxi already going to the school of my choice with space so there would be no extra costs to the LA. hope that helps

Im glad you are feeling more positive, especially when its the holidaays. Enjoy your time with your daughter this summer, 6 weeks isnt that long. Ide rather it be longer as my children are easier to manage when they are off school. Its a long process from start to finish when getting a diagnosis so hopefully you can understand and as you said others will to when being with your dd why she is a little different. you already proved to yourself that you are strong getting to this stage, now just enjoy the sun before the new term begins.

The staff at DO IT 4 REAL are really good they listen to your childs needs and take note if your child needs a 1-1 that is then sorted so no one misses out. I to worry and i stay in Hastings while the children are in camp, last year i only had 2 phone calls to help them to understand a difficult moment. But with me staying where they camp it means my children get the oppertunity to take part in mainstream activities. Everyone is so kind the children loved it, but they are not prepared to try a new camp this year as they loved Hastings so much last year, and dont like change. Fingers crossed i will find other things to do, we just got a letter from school and they are offering a summer camp as well just not sure on the costings. I hope everyone has a good summer holidays where ever you live.

our children break up 10th July and dont go back until 8th september so they are very long. We are going to summerset camping, the children all enjoy a nice quite campsite and a lot of children will be at school so fingers crossed it should be quite. Then the children are doing DO IT 4 REAL they love it its a summer camp with all the extra support that they need and its very cheap. I have 2 birthdays in August so have a lot to organize there. I expect to be at the pool at least 3 times a week due to my sons obsesions about swimming. I will also try to keep up the reading with my little one and revision for my oldest. I was told to day to expect u grades in his GCSEs so not sure if revision is worth while. He should pass science though at least a B grade i was told, so there is a silver lineing, fingers crossed. I love school holidays being with the children all day with no outside pressure if i dont want it. But im always very tired at the end of it keeping 4 children all with SEN very tireing, and expensive. Need some very cheap things to do this year so any ideas i live on the Norfolk, Suffolk boarder.

hi, i hope you enjoy this site. im sure reading your posts will be interesting, my son is almost 15 now maybe your posts will help me to understand teenagers with ASD.

just an idea, does your son watch pepper pig on tv. My dd went through a stage of calling everyone pig at the end of a sentance because thats how they talk on the tv. example i would like a drink daddy pig. Also the humming could be where your son is processing the words he needs to be using. My dd has stopped calling people pig now, im glad as it was getting embrassing as not everyone understood why my dd was calling them pig.

congratulations things have to be better than they are at his current provision. My daughter started 2 weeks ago at her new school and its been the best move ever for her. She is full time and is enjoying the quite and calm enviroment. Good luck

this is one of those posts that get complety blown out of the water, so to speak. A mistake was made and im sure fieldmouse has learnt from this experience. Fieldmouse sounds like a careing person who likes to look out for her neighbourhood and keep it clean. It is very hard for people with Autism to know what is the right thing to do in every situation, from my experience every situation is new and is managed differently. Fieldmouse good luck with your future bike ridding and i hope you find a easier and more suitabe place for your bike in the future. If in any doubt just pop inside the shop and ask where it would be ok to lock up your bike.

i dont know if this will help, but will share anyway. Our LA special needs officer is not the eaisest person to talk to by way of not responding to phone calls or letters. So we found out who our area director of education was and sent copies of all the letters and dates and times of phone calls, within a couple of days she wrote back telling me that she was looking into our problem. 2 days later a phonecall from the special needs officer and a letter telling us that a statutory assesement was starting and there appoligies for the lack of communication. Maybe you have already tried this and im sorry if im stating the obvious. just trying to think of a way to avoid costs for you. The other thing is if they are changing part 4 the namming of school you can always go to tribunal and with the evidence that you have im sure you would win, its all delay tatics from the LA and shame on them. good luck.

my son was 12 when he found his interest, and he will be 15 in August and it still hasent changed, he loves swimming. He likes books, DVDs, watching old swimming galas on the internet. He swims about 5 times a week and we are pleased that he now has an interest as it was so hard before deciceding on gifts knowing that my son would say thank you but only because it was the right thing to say. He will be getting new swim shorts this year, and a copy of swimming times. He doent really understand the vaule of money and wouldnt care how much or how little was spent as long as it is for swimming he is a happy chap.