SuzyQ

thanks guys, We have an appointment on Wednesday for another assesment at CAMHS I think this one is to asses if she needs to be an in patient... as its a tier 4 CAMHS not tier 3 which we have been being seen at, not that this really means much to me!!! I have been told by the LEA that her case won't be heard by county panel for another week as we are now asking for specialist provision to be made, but I guess the important thing right now is to work out what going on in her head so we know what her needs are!! So watch this space.... she is currently sitting and doing a painting by number picture she loves these, she is a very talented artist but has to copy or have it set out for her, my worry is she is 14 and in year 10 so has just started gsce's and a btec art diploma so time for her is of the essence. And of course how long can I work for if she is at home for the next week... I have no support and currently have no one to watch her tuesday, luckily I am off work Monday!!

Hi beth, this is such a good forum welcome, and know you are never alone on your roller coaster ride, there is always someone here with you. I have a daughter who has just been diagnosed with Asperges, and I have taken an online test as they think she is similar to me... I am proud to say I did do quite well....I scored a mamouth 119 out of 200 in favour of Asperges, so I am a bit half and half, it has helped me understand some of my odd behaviour and panics in life. good luck and just keep plugging away you will get there eventually

Hi. thanks for advice, I really am tearing my hair out, Camhs have suggested a school which I have looked up on the internet her current school think that it wouldn't suit and also said it is private so the education authority won't fund it! J's mum you've helped so much, it is a comfort to know I am not alone. I will keep you posted.

Hiya guys. Well crunch time has come I have a propsed statement saying DD should stay in mainstream with 20 hours a week...yes a whole 20 hours support!!!! This seems to be against what CAMHS advise and the ed phsyc person on and seemed against what the school wanted.....I have appealed as the journey....(they didn't think that would be too difficult for a child who cant leave the house on her own....a walk to train station a train journey with one change and then a bus journey!!!! )seemed a little difficult if she had to stay in mainstream!!! Well the school have said they can cope....they can't....they can.... and now well now they can't and in fact they dont want her back at all. She is at risk of harming herself and we dont know what mental illness she has as I think camhs are looking into that, she has had the AS diagnosis earlier this year!! So now I have jekyl and hyde who is not at school who is a suicide/ self harm risk and harm to others if the wrong personality is out, sat at home getting no education aged 14!! apparently County panel wont be hearing her case next week so will be a few weeks before they do!!! Camhs have suggested that maybe an in patient assesment is needed the nearest safe place being some 50 miles away...I think this is our only course of action, but it seems there is no support or help, they are telling me these things then sending us home!! god I am ranting and probably none of this makes sense, I just dont know what to do there seems to be no one listening to me!!! Sorry guys rant over!!

Hi We have a wii, and have to say my DD is great on it she has aspergers and is 14 she loves wii fit, it has heled her as it is fun, we also have brain training and she is better than I am at alot of it!!! I am not into playing serious games but wii fit and the wii sports type things are brilliant as are the cow racing!!!! My DD also loves the xbox 360, she plays games and is more of a gamer, but often will ask DH to help her when it gets hard as I am useless!!! I am lucky as my children have always learnt that loosing is an important part of playing games, I grew up the youngest of 4 so often lost, and had the most anoying brother ever who would run around rubbing my nose in it, so I have taught my children its the playing that counts, winning is great but playing in the first place also is!! Saying this now my DD will just turn it off if she can't do it more often than not. But the Wii is an all round good thing I am ok at bowling, but I cannot play the baseball but both my children are quite good at baseball!!! It is great entertainment and gets everyone involved!...god I should work for nintendo!!!!

Hi Stella, I have to agree sounds like drugs, my DD has 'friends' who give her drugs, they are all older and she connot see that they are not friends!! I feel they are grooming her to get her to do god know's what, she has met these through being at school yet her provisional statement says that mainstream education is the place for her against CAMHS advice and now we are seeing a physciatrist aswell as physycologists, they have put her on some meds as it seems she is facing a mental illness of some sort, I feel a bit of a mushroom you know kept in dark and fed S**T so don't really know what is going on, but I like with Jekyl and hyde and when she is away from school and these people she is ok and less angry. Drugs have the wrong effect on children like ours, but they can't see it, and of course if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have to do it...etc... I am the hated one I am the bad person and it's all my fault, so I know how tough that side of it is and how soul destroying it can be. I have even thought that perhaps the everyone would be better if I took myself off and dissappeared as I am such a bad horrible person. But then DD would win!! She has knocked my flying and now I just keep out the way when she goes as I know I cannot restrain her anymore. You are not alone and even though Maybe mt problems are not as severe I can understand. That s the thing that keeps me going...this site...to know we are not alone in our struggles and fights, we are all riding the rollercoaster ride from hell!!! but we are on it together <'>

Hi, What I am going through seems so easy compared to some of you. Is is true that if a child asks to go into care they can't refuse? My DD is 14 she has Aspergers and we have had one meeting with SS Rapid Response, after that DD was so angry because she doesn't want to live with me, she has spent 4 weeks living with my mum when before this she wouldn't be away from me at all and if she was she would call me all the time etc After spending a week at home she ran away and I had to get the police to find her, she was only gone 24 hours of so but it was awful. She is hearing voices and seeing visions and CAMHS have only told me a smidgen of what is going on i feel they have put her on abilify and warned her not to touch canabis....I feel like I live with jekyl and hyde, so wondered about the fact that if she asks to be taken away from me whether they have to sit up and listen as I feel there is no support. I have also been told by CAMHS that they feel she is a real suicide risk and not to let her out of my sight!!! She is 5'9 and weighs over 12 stone, I am only 5'6 I can't restrain her if she turns !!! As for you Stella, How have you coped!! I take my hat off to you as I say My Daughters problems seem like nothing. my heart goes out to you it really does <'>

Hi, We had CAMHS on monday, my dd 14 with Aspergers has been hearing voices and seeing a vision of a person, CAMHS seem unsure if its related to anxiety or a further mental illness currently and have prescribed this drug, My DD is tired out anyway as she has been unable to live at home for the last four weeks but is now back with us and the voices are worse at home, but she has seemed fairly tired in the evenings, but isn't sleeping particularily well....which isn't normal for her!! I guess with all new meds it can take a bit of time for the body to adjust I dont know whether to be concerned or not as she is obviuosly being given them to alleviate the voices!! Will keep you posted tho, know its not much help

Hiya, I was put on citalopram ages ago to try to calm my blood pressure down as it wouldn't respond to other medications, I have now in recent months had to double up to 20mg as depression has set in and it doesn't seem to have made a huge difference, I know this doesn't help, but hey I know how your feeling, your not alone <'>

I agree with this as I have trouble with my dd 14 as watching some programs, well infact nearly all tv programs, but she loves the game, and lots of other games too, she has to get my husband to help her and it's good bonding for them as they dont get on great. I am always having to tell her things aren't real!!! It doesn't help that her older sister loves horror movies and thrillers...etc..!!

Hi Guy's And thanks, I know I am not alone, and that we all have day's where we struggle, I just guess it's getting me down. The aggression, the rudeness and the hatred I get aimed at me!!! then again, with a click of the fingers#(not literally) she is lovely again!!! Complete jekyl and hyde, I find unconditional love is wearing thin!! Will look into DLA And keep you posted on statement!!! It's just nice to know there are people out there who know how it is

Hi All, When she is good she is very very good, but when she is bad she is horrid!! Got a diagnosis a few months ago, struggling terribly what support is there for aspergers, she refuses to learn about it alot of people around me think she will wake up one day and be fine, I am depressed and feel alone and like tearing my hair out, I am trying to learn as I go but its tough as each new day brings different problems. How do I claim DLA and do you think it is worth it? Waiting for a statement to go through which we started in March, its all such a struggle, and I feel I walk on egg shells all the time with her....is this normal?? Sorry for ramblings, just feel like I lost all control and don't know what to do or how to get help. Suzy

Hi #all, Not been on for a bit, life too stressful and getting me down! My DD is 14 with aspergers and loves the new one, what ever its called and has an older one on her old xbox too, she is addicted to it, I can't stand it but my husband likes it too, it's his game and even though I would prefer her not to play it, it keeps her out of my hair for hours!!! Letting me get on with housework, and gives her and my husband some bonding time which they desperately need ( he is the step dad) I know I shouldn't let her play it, but it gives me peace!! Suzy

Hi Not sure if the quote bit worked....new to this!!! I agree on what is said here...if it has worked I have a 14 yr old daughter newly dx'd with Aspergers, infact only a few months ago, but at 9 I was told she had a gender identity disorder, so we have had many years of her hating me!!! I am the whipping boy so to speak as I know it is because I am safe, I will always love her...'apparently' ! She will be worse with people she feels safe with, there is one teacher at school who has had to deal with alot of her anger and problems, but she wont have anyone else near! I have learn't to accept this over the years, it can be soul destroying at times, but when she has a moment of clarity and is my little girl she is a delight, and I hang on to those. She also says there is nothing wrong with her and its all lies, she tells me she goes to lessons at school but I know she doesn't, she is't telling lies, its how she see's her day has gone, she truely believes she has been in lessons!! Dont know if thats any help or not, but just wanted to let you know your not alone in the most hated parent club.....or should i say your not alone on this rollercoster ride......its a horrible one but your not on it alone, it seems there are alot of us out there. <'>

Hi, I am new to this forum too and to Aspergers

Hev, I can empathise with you, we have stopped taking our children out as it is a nightmare dd 14 aspergers dd 15 standard stroppy teenager....no thats not fair she suffers lots as her sister is such a pain, they argue and B***H alot. We used to go camping all the time which was great and they loved it, but haven't managed it this year, I struggled to afford a holiday abroad, all booked before we new how bad dd would be.....she has never flown and so we had 6 weeks of having to tell her at least twice daily what was going to happen how we were getting to airport and every step until we got to Egypt, even took them to a hotel myself and hubby new so we new people and the lay out!!!! Well what a nightmare, she was fine for two or three days then shut herself in her room until about 6pm most days!!! NEVER again!! We often go to hastings for an evening in the summer too, but will have to build up the courage to take her out, thats if she will leave the house! < think this sums it up at the mo <'> <'> for you

Hi, I have a similar problem, my DD is 14 with aspergers, but I have a 15 yr old that seems to have to care, or she is left on her own, as long as I write detailed lists she seems ok most of the time, I would rather not leave her but I work full time and cannot afford not to, she won't go to any day camps or the such like. It's not easy being a working parent. Your not alone

Hi All, As I am new to this, I am wondering if anyone can help....I have a 14yr old who has been troublesome for some time, but more recently the last year with alot of calls from the school and being sent home lots, We have the Aspergers Diagnosis now and my work place say they are supportive, but..... I cannot except calls from the school, I cannot leave work to go and collect her if she is sent home, I do not take time off when she is at home, and I have to make up every minute of every appointment that is for her as they say they do not have to allow me time due to her age......Help.... I am unhappy and it is causing more stress..... Of course they haven't said I cant, they just make it uncomfortable, and they have said they dont want to have to ask me to use my holiday for appointments, but might have to!!! Currently she is left at home with her 15 yr old sister while I am at work. Just wondering if I have any rights as a parent of a child with Aspergers???? HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Wow....So not just my duaghter who dislikes flies...she wouldn't go into the garden as there were flies in it!!!! and if they come in the house she runs like a fairy!!! I am scared of wasps etc...but flies and moths are ok, but she gets hysterical and wont go near a room if there is flies/moths/bugs...how odd!!!

Hi Dianne, I am new to this site and by the sounds of it very lucky, I have a 14 year old daughter who at 8 was diagnosed with a gender identity disorder, it was hard then, but as she has grown she wanted to conform to society to go into secondary school, she struggled and ended up with a naughty child label, I spent alot of time driving to school for meetings with heads of year, or worse still the ones with the headmaster (my old history teacher ). Luckily..or not they have a special naughty child unit...who took her on, here she met all kinds of children you wouldn't want your child to meet!!!! And has gotten herself into some serious trouble. On the good side the manager of the unit could see she wasn't naughty but had some communication problems, and suggested Aspergers...the first time I had heard of it. She wasn't functioning in school at all by the beginning of October so to the Dr's we went, who asked her to keep a Diary....ha...I had to force her to the Dr..was she going to keep a Diary..like hell was she ..she hated me for ages for this, but eventually I asked my dr to refer to CAMHS and even though she was extremly reluctant I pushed, I also applied for the statementing to happen with the schools back up and during the consultation with the dr for this we have been given the Aspergers diagnosis. So we have been lucky it has only been a few months, but in that time I have married, been on holiday, lost two of my dogs and moved house to a completely unknown area for my daughter.....things at home are awful most days..... The thing that keeps me going is knowing that for A it will help her once she comes to terms with it...she is not accepting at all and we cant discuss it she will not show emotion and when she is violent she is 5' 9 and a force to be reckoned with! My work are not supportive at all, she rearely attends school even though she is desperate to learn they can't cope with her, my family think she will wake up one day and not have aspergers.....So I know how tuff it is, I wonder if its something I done wrong, I long to see my little girl, we see her on her good days. Its a rollercoaster ride no one wants to be on, but we have to...this site gives me hope and helps me realise we are all on the ride together not alone. Suzy <'> <'>

hi all, thanks for posting hello's, it put a smile on my face to know there are some friendly people out there who dont have the opinion that she will wake up one day and be ok! No doubt will drive you all mad with questions and mad rantings about latest trauma's!!!

Hi Everyone, I am new here, I have a 14 year old daughter who we have just recieved a diagnosis for, we are currently going through a statutory statement and she has been labbelled by teachers as naughty. Her name is Alice and she is not happy about being different so trying to cope with it all is hard, hoping to make some friends here and get lots of advice about any rights I might have with my employer and any help we can get. I am learning as I go as I am sure many of you have done also. Suzy