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Sooze2

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Everything posted by Sooze2

  1. That could be a good sign that people are doing ok though!
  2. Sooze2

    PM's

    I got it last night too, it made me very confused - more than usual!! oops, I tell a lie - it was adding me as a freind.
  3. I agree with the others. My son struggles in school and when in social situations or noisy places etc in a big way, he was diagnosed last year and it has changed the way I see him because I now know that a lot of the time he isn't just being naughty or just deliberately winding me up! His teachers are giving him the help he needs with focusing and sitting still in class so he can use his very clever brain despite all the inner distrations, CHAMs and Autism Outreach are going into school and telling them the best way to deal with him and listen to my opinions on how things are going. They also chat to him about how he feels. He doesn't want to talk about his diagnosis yet, I have told him but he's not ready to discuss it yet. We talk about his dayto day difficulties etc and don't make anything taboo so he is starting to open up a bit more each day. If he didn't have his diagnosis he wouldn't get the help he needs, the school (through parent partnership) are great and helped him before the diagnosis but I don't think they would have been able to do what they are doing now without it, at the end of year 3 he wouldn't write at all, wouldn't even pick up a pen because he was so fed up with trying and getting no where or being told he haddn't done enough. Last year he was a very very unhappy boy and angry at the whole world for everything and anything. This year he is much happier because people understand how he ticks and can work with him rather than feel that they are working against him. Now he his starting to write well (for him), if he can't do it due to losing focus or being too slow a TA will scribe for him so he can take part in the next thing rather than falling further and further behind. He is also on Medication for his ADHD which we started a few weeks ago, this has made an amazing difference to how he see's the world too. An amazing thing happened today - he helped to run a bring and buy stall with me and a few others at school today, he was taking money and giving change and felt totally great about himself - this would never have happened before, he wouldn't have gone near the stall let alone run it! This happened because of the diagnosis. You go with your instincts, I'm telling you what happened with us because it's positive but I try to only see the positives and it has been a long road to get here. It isn't all roses but we don't have so many black days now so I see that as a massive deal. Your sons teacher sounds really nice and supportive to you AND honest. If you decide to take things further then this may be your year to do it with such a nice teacher on your side, they sound like DS's year 3 teacher - we would have got nowhere without her input and she deserves a medal I can tell you. Good luck what ever you chose, its a very hard decission to make and for me it was more about accepting that he needed help and wasn't changing like his freinds rather than getting the diagnosis itself. We all want our children to be perfect don't we? OMG - how long isthis reply!!! Sorry
  4. Nuff said!
  5. Sooze2

    Home work.

    Could you go to the library and get some books out about Dr Who? My son who's 9 really doesn't like Dr Who or anything like that - too scarey so I can see where you are coming from.
  6. This part of an article is interesting: Immunological studies of autistic patients have revealed certain features that are also found in patients with other autoimmune diseases. There is a genetic predisposition for several autoimmune diseases6 , like grave's thyroid disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and insulin-dependant diabetes. Likewise, autism shows a greater concordance rate in monozygotic twins than in the normal population.7 Autism is also four to five times more prevalent in boys than in girls � a gender factor which is also seen in systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), Grave's disease, and ankylosing spondylintis (though this is more common with women than men). I have rheumatiod arthritis and ankylosing spondylintis, it showed up in a blood test I had because of chronic pain in my joints. Is it saying that if you have these things then your child is more likely to be Autistic? I have idetical twins and have worries about one of them because she is very very shy and immature, is getting more like her brother in terms of understanding and over emotional plus her sister is far far ahead of her in all areas. I am wondering if I need to think about them all having blood tests done!
  7. Ive just come across this, very interesting! I have rhumetoid arthritis, I think I will go off and do a bit of Googling. Do you have any more info about this Sandra? Thanks
  8. This evening DS was at a freinds house till 8pm. His 2 sisters usually either go to the park, have freinds round or are off somewhere or other but today I wanted them all to myself. They decided to do some writting in a Spellings work book I had bought for DS a couple of years ago so I printed off pages so they could both do it. They were amazing, they let me help them, they wanted to do it and they perserviered. They did a few pages and I was amazed how much they enjoyed it! Then they played on the Cbeebies website and took turns using the mouse etc etc. I haven't really done much of that kind of thing with them because DS kicks screams and generally makes it clear that he hates it. Hates homework and has never been able to sit with me to do anything like that without a major fight. I feel so very very guilty, I always thought that I'd made him feel like that because I am rubbish at teaching and a pretty poor Mum too but every time I do homework with the girls they are always fine. I've always been scared to do any extras with the girls incase I turn them against learning but they love it so much and I feel Ive really let them down now. No need to reply, just need to say it to someone!
  9. Oh my goodness, you sound like such a lovely person! Your family must be SO proud of you.
  10. Also I ve just found this info in one of the girls book bags. Its called Milly's fund and it's "promoting personal safety for children and young adults" www.millysfund.org.uk Am I allowed to post websites?
  11. At my Kid's swimming lessons the girls and anyone with long hair has to tie it ip or they can't swim.
  12. Yep, I deal with the kids on my own too. I really didn't think it would be like this, every one I know has family support except me and some days it really gets to me! Told DH the other week that if he did the school runs for a couple of weeks he would realise how other people's families work and then he would understand why I get annoyed. On his birthday the other week he had no phone call from his mum and dad who were in New Zealand with his sister and their kids even though they said they would phone. My parents phoned me but I missed the call because I was doing homework with DS and they turned up 5 minutes later obviousely thinking we would be out, when I offered them a cup of tea they practically ran out of the door! Didn't even pop in DS's room to say hello! BUT its me they phone if they need help!!! Starting ranting, better stop now
  13. Not in a financial sence but by just being there. Me and DH are basically alone and Ive now convinced myself that I am in fact an orphan because its easier than mulling over what wev'e done wrong over the years!
  14. <'> I have no advise to offer but I know where you are coming from.
  15. I don;t think my lot would, they are all quite shy not scared because of me but naturally shy. DS doesn't really talk to anyone he doesn't know really well and that seems to be getting worse! ITs a hard one with Jay though isn't it, all you can do is keep reinforcing it and if you think he would still do it then maybe even shock him a bit with some example or other. How old is he? A freind recently told their 6 year old off for answering the door saying that it could have been a stranger and they could have been snatched! These are very intelegent people and I think they said it because she has been told so many times not to do that they had to scare her a bit if you see what I mean. My front door is always locked due to a habit I got into when DS used to either escape or stand and wee so he could watch it run down the steps so thats not a problem here at the mo! Anyway what I'm saying is that sometimes scareing them a little bit may work!
  16. He probably wouldn't answer them, he has only just started talking to his best freind of 2 year's mum and he goes to his house every week! Anyway, Ive told my kids that if anyone asks them anything they didn't like that they aren't to answer and they are to tell me or someone I trust about it. If the person tells them not to tell anyone then they must deffinately tell me as soon as possible even if its a family member or friend of ours basically anyone other than me! lol. Not thought about the address thing though. Told them not to talk to adults they don't know unless there is an emergency, not to go to a person asking for direction's car, never to accept sweets off adults when on there own (not that they are on their own yet), not going off to see any sweet little bunnies! PMSL
  17. Trouble is with my boy is that you tell him to do something and within 5 mili seconds he's forgotten because he's seen a car he wants to take to school or a small spec of nothing that is more interesting etc pmsl! As for DH, he just doesn't get involved so its all down to me really. Mainly because like you and bikemad said he causes more problems so its not worth even asking him. Nice!
  18. Sooze2

    Simple Pleasures

    Finding the Build a Bear voucher that I'd forgotten I'd won in a raffle 18 months ago and taking DS to said shop for a reward for coping with lots of changes so well just lately! Hoorah. He even smiled and looked happy with me for the first time in ages.
  19. My boy is agressive but it is lessening (for the moment) If he is agressive to his younger sisters he goes to his room - he objects but he stays there untill he has calmed down no matter how long it takes then I ask why he was agressive and make him say sorry. He will insist that he was right and they deserved it every single time but if that becomes and issue after the event back he goes to his room again. In the beggining (when he was very young) he used to come out of his room every 2 seconds but now he accepts it as he knows he won't win. He won't tidy his room either, I have witdrawn privilages, the playstation, offered pocket money so I can with hold it ( ) taken his favourite toys away, not let him go to the park after school, etc etc etc etc etc but he doesn't care and doesn't notice the mess so I now do it for him when it gets so bad that I can't open the door anymore. If your son doesn't like you doing it I would do it anyway and suffer the sulks and tantrums saying that either you do it your way or he does it himslef when you tell him and stick to it. I can't give my son an inch lee way, if he sees a minute chink in my armour he will manipulate it and once he's won once he will try it on over everything. Once he and therefore none of the family didn't go to the park for a month over his aggression and terrible attitude in general, it worked but it was hard on the rest of the family. I can see why they say you should see things from his point of view but when you have other children you have to do what you can to make your whole family's life better. This is just what I did but it may work for you or it may not. I hope he becomes easier soon. Is he in year 3 now by the way? I found that school year very chalenging because there were a lot of changes going on for him - they wanted him to be more mature, sit still and the work was propper work rather than more play based - he found it very very hard. Perhaps your son is the same, Sorry Ive rambled.
  20. Not to bad really, he's been asleep by 10pm this week - since his 3.30am stint on Sunday! He takes Melatonin to make him sleep but it all went a bit wrong for a few weeks because he's now also on Concerta for ADHD which can cause sleep problems - or will in his case. He's seems to have settled down again now for the moment thought - thank goodness! Could you see if yor son could have some help with his sleep? Has he always been a night owl? My boy has always had sleep problems - since birth really.
  21. Sooze2

    Am I slacking?

    I agree with baddad, at the weekend we tend to let the kids do their own thing in the mornings but always go out in the afternoon. We either see freinds or go to the woods for a walk/bikeride, park etc, we always do outdoor stuff as a family because I couldn't stay in all day with the kids as they all tend to go a bit stir crazy and just get on each others nerves really. Plus they need to have fresh air and excersise. DS (ASD/ADHD) would happily spend every waking hour on the PlayStation or looking up Cheets for the Play Station on the computer but it can't be good for him really can it? His CHAMs lady has said that I should just let it be and if that is what makes him happy then I should let him do it. If he is very stressed, had a meltdown or getting hyper then I tell him to go in his room and the playstation goes on and this is where he leaves this world and enters his escape pod to DS's car world where its safe. This is great but it's not teaching him anything, he's running away from the real world where he will have to live forever so I try to treat all the kids the same but I deal with anything DS finds difficult and reacts to negatively as they happen. I feel that if I can give him as many experiences as possible then he will be more able to cope with them as time goes on! A good theory which sometimes goes slightly wrong but I like to think that I've tried. Sorry Ive gone off track. Your not being lazy at all, using the computer etc is fine and most kids are doing that as long as it's combined with a good does of reality for the rest of the days its fine. You and him could set yourself a chalenge to find and tryout every park where you live to find out which one is the best.
  22. Poor Poor you, you must have been exhausted! What time did he get up this morning? At least it's the weekend I suppose! I hope he sleeps well tonight. <'>
  23. My son has certain days where he see's his friends, on Wednesday his best freind comes here one week and then to the freinds house the next week - that one has been ongoing for about 18 months! It works well. He see's another freind on Mondays or Tuesdays but usually thats about it - so 2 days per week he see's freinds after school, sometimes all the kids have freinds here on a Friday. Everything is pre arranged because I like to know where I am and make sure the house is tidy! Although the Friday one pleople just tend to migrate to my house on a whim which is great They have various clubs during the week and he is always shoked and creates loudly in the playground about having to walk to Rainbows for the girls on Tuesdays even though they have been going for 18 months!!!! I wouldn't worry about him ignoring you in the playground and heading for other parents, just go up to the parent and arrange a day when the kids can get together but don't let him go and play that day always arange it. You could start making plans a week in advance and tell your son each morning what will be happening after school - today we are coming straight home after school on our own or today you are going to play at Jonny's house etc. Write it on a calendar so he can see how the week is planned and stick to it. We have a bit of a problem here now because there is a club on a Wednesday every other week which we go to if we can, both my son and his freind find this very annoying because they can't possibley see each other any other day but Wednesday! Its never easy is it! On the walking to school thing - you could use seeing the freinds as a bribe! Like - if you walk to school nicely today and tomorrow Johnny can come to play tomorrow etc put a happy face on the calendar if he walks nicely. You could do it so he walks nicely in the morning and the freind comes that night for an instant reward at first - all pre arranged with the parent without the kids knowing about it
  24. Just a quick update. I phoned the consultant and she was lovely, she is stopping the Concerta XL and trying Equisim (sp?) instead. She thinks he is having an extreme reaction to the Concerta and the Equisim is the same stuff but only last for 8 hours rather than 10-12. We'll see what happens.
  25. This makes me so mad!!! What is the deal with everyone having to be the same anyway! They'll end up banning sex in a minute and make perfect clones that are all the same in fit into little boxes silently conforming to whatever stupid rule the powers that be decide to make up each week! GRRRRRRR. <'>
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