chris54

Hi bluefish Know just how you feel, been there a few times myself. Its only when you stop and think that you realise just how different our lives are.( Cant think of any other way to put it). Some of what you are feeling is grief for what may never be. All we can do is think and hope positively for the future. Chris.

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If you really think that they, the school, are using identical IEP for a number of children then report it to the authority ,OFSTED, who will go into the school and investigate your concerns.

64??? That cant be right. Chris.

My adult stepson does that, laugh when he thinks he should rather than when he finds something funny. I rarely laugh out loud just smile, so he thinks I'm a miserable old so*.

Unfortunately school are required by law to set homework. I have had teachers say to me that it is up to me if he does it or not. What they did at his old school is anyone how had not done it at home, it was done in class. Not sure what happens at new school. I do it with him and put in the School/home book how much help I give him. As was said problem is, same homework for everyone. But I keep getting house point for my/his homework. Chris.

Hi All I seem to be the odd one out here as I have never had any issues with my sons IEP. Chris.

Hi How much off this is political. If they, LEA, go along with the parents choice of school even if it is the best option with out looking at more cost effective (cheaper) options, then they are not doing the best job for the tax payers. Our job as parents is to get the best for our own children first.

Hi Out son is on SA+ Hopefully soon to have a statement. The IEP has always been talked through with us to some degree before we sigh it.If you are not happy with it don't sigh it. I think it is to be remembered that these are targets, but I would agree there seems little point in having targets that are not achievable to some degree.I cant comment on the targets quoted but they do seem inappropriate. It also needs to be remembered that if a child is making satisfactory progress under SA+ then there is no need for a statement (in the eyes of the LEA). As our sons SENCO said "When the EP come we need to make things look as bad as possible to get the best outcome" or words to that effect.

Glow

Hi again. Just remembered, I use to walk 2 miles to school and back and use to come home for dinners as well, Just about had time to get home eat dinner and back to school. Dinner break did last 1 1/2 hours as they had to have 3 sitting as the hall was not big enough to do it any other way. and there was 47 in my class and there were no such thing as TA, the kids to day don't know how lucky they are and there coming to take my awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. The other thing which you would find amazing today is that from the age of 5 I use to do that walk on my own crossing at least 2 main road. In the winter we finished school at 3.45 so it was dark before I got home. When I went up to secondary school only had a mile to walk.

Cant really help but just to let you know you are not alone. My sons been a night mare from day one never much interested in food. Skinny little thing even now. Over the last few months the list of things that he will eat has got smaller and smaller,BUT he has just started to talk about what is in food what goodness you need to be healthy and so on. Last night for his tea he had 2 sausages and some sweetcorn, for him that is a monster meal. And most mornings now he is eating a whole slice of toast. Lets just hope he keeps it up.

Bat

Hi bid If he is eating the same as he always did and there has been no Chang in his routine, work, etc. I would be a bit worried, it is usually the opposite problem, as you get older of having to cut down on food intake so as not to put weight on. Crispy, cake and chocolate, I have fantasies about them. If only I didnt have to watch my weight. To be serious for a minuet I think he should go and see the GP there are a few things that could be the problem and not all of them have to many symptoms. Chris.

Hi Again. Been talking to someone today about your problem. What you did wrong was to contact SS your self, What you should have done it just tell the police that you would not act as his suitable adult, did not want anything to do with him, that you would not have him home as he was a danger to the rest of the family and leave it to the police to sore it out with SS. I know it is not easy to just walk away from your child but you have to think of the rest of you. And he can not be an abandoned child if he is in police custody.

Cant really help much other than to say yes my son(8) has all the thing you mentioned. We got him a new bike for his last birthday, first one without stabilizers and found there is no way that he has a hope of ridding it, no sense of balance whatsoever. I have just got some big stabilizers for it so he can at least have a go at riding it in the garden. They cost about �15. They also sell heavy duty ones for adult bikes that cost about �50. seems a lot for what they are. You could also go down the road of getting him a tricycle., thinking of getting one of them for myself, Cost up to �500. I would not say to much about walking to school, It is a mile to my sons school, I walk there and back twice a day. Well it keeps me fit (for nothing). When I was a child we walked best part of 2 miles to school. Never got any sympathy from my mum " When I was your age we walked 8 miles to school in the summer across the fields and 12 by the roads in the winter". Bit of an exaggeration I think but it puts thing into prospective don't it.

Hi Stella I think that your strongest argument about getting AJ into care is on the ground of danger to OJ. And don't let the authority's frighten you into having him back "Next time".If he is in police custody they wont just turn him out on the street with out an appropriate adult and if you refuse point blank then SS have no chose.

Just makes you wonder how much these people really know about autism. Even if the person involved didnt know you son and what he was able to do,knowing about his ASD you would ask if he would be OK or if they would like someone to go with him. Also as has be said the school have a duty to make sure he is safe, this should take into account his condition and not just say "well he is 15 so..." No by the sound of it I don't think they got it right at all. If it was me I would tell the school that I was not at all happy etc etc.

Exercise

Been thinking about how to tell my boy. Then other day at doctors, was talking to doc about his ASD dx,"A" was there. Any way afterwords "A" asked me what I was talking about , I said. "You know when you went to see that lady who talked to you and played game and we have a video of it". "yes". "Well she has decided that you have Autism". "Oh". That was it and there I was thinking that this was a opportunity to tell him all about it. Not mentioned it since, so now he knows he has ASD but does not seem the slightest bit interested in what it means. Perhaps he has put 2 and 2 together, trouble is maybe he will come up with 5.

Hi All I will give a different view point on "running off". I use to be a childminder, one child I cared for(4 year old with ASD) was very unpredictable, his mum was always chasing him up the road around the shops etc. I could not take the risk that he might run off and end up hurt (if he had of been I would have been liable) . So before we went out the house or got out of the car I would put a restraint on him, This consisted of a waist band with a lead attached which then attached to my wrist( or waist).Came with 3 leads so you can attach up to three children at a time, sort of thing that a nursery might use when taking toddlers out. Sold by a specialist company that supply equipment for parent of twins and triplets. I would add that I would have two other 4 year olds plus maybe older children with me at the time. Got a few odd looks from parent etc but did the job. He did not like it at first but soon got use to the idea. To stray off the subject , When I went along to the school meetings about him we, the school, his mum and myself could have been talking about three different boys by our accounts of what he was like when with us..

Feather

hi Simmykin It was only when our son aged 8 was diagnosed ASD/AS, that it really downed on us that we are a family of Aspies, My wife has two grown up children that both have AS tendencies, no formal diagnosis. We did not see it in our youngest son He was just replicating us, thought some of it was learnt behaviour.It was only when he was not making progress at school that the proses started that led to a diagnosis. His behaviour problems we managed and just thought they were "normal". Both My wife and myself now see AS tendencies in ourselves. When I was young you were just considered odd, stupid, or what ever and that was it. On top of that I have server dyslexia and it was not until I was about 12 that I stumbled upon a teacher who was able to teach me to read and write. Always know that I didn't feel like I fitted in. Not a lot of emotions on show in our house. Looking back I see that my father also had AS ten dances. He died alone (emotionally) and very sad. I did have a overload of emotion when he died but was never able to show him any when he was alive. I know just what your husband is like because that is me, I do try to be interested but it don't come naturally. Don't suppose this helps much, other to let you know you are not alone. Chris.

Spouse