dana

I agree with the previous posts. Go for it, indeed! You will not pay from your own private, rich account. It will be NHS which decides if it has enough money to pay for a private treatment when neccessary. And in your case your NHS GP decided it is. This is all part of the NHS policy so go for it. You need it. Good luck. Danaxxx

Hi, I've written in some of my previous posts that I finally told my son(10) about his ASD (HF Autism) and Dyspraxia dx. At first he accepted it (didn't like the word 'disorder' so we changed it to HF autism). Recently he denys it, even loughing at it, saying 'I don't have Dyspraxia or this HF-whatever-it-is-called. It is just the way I am!' He is very upset because the school let him do SATS in a separate, quiet room with his TA and another teacher, who he likes. Also they are giving him additional 5 minutes to complete his tasks. I told him that this is all really a good thing that they are trying to help him focus better during SATS and even give him more time to finish the exam. However, he told me that he is upset because he is separated from the rest of his class and doesn't like it. Than he said that he didn't need any help and didn't have any ASD or Dyspraxia. He told me that he had a dream in which nobody wanted to play with him on the playground. I told him that these are only SATS and none of the pupils have fun doing them together and is not the same like on the playground but he is still upset. I feel at this point bad to try to convince him that he does have ASD and Dys. and don't know whether to do it or to wait untill he is older and perhaps he by himself to accept it. Any advice greatly ppreciated. Danaxxx

I totally agree with you, Baddad, that it shouldn't be ambiguity when teaching him cause-consequence concept. Maybe I am underestimating his understanding of it. However, one thing is to understand the general concept but totaly different to apply that understanding on particular situation. He did run away from the classroom being afraid that he would be expelled but that was not appropriate reaction because even his teacher and the headteacher never mentioned the possibility of such a thing and they were amazed (last week he was even rewarded at school for being really good the whole week). His reactions are based on HIS interpretations of the events which are often wrong but in his eyes valid. He appologised because he was asked to appologize. When we came home he asked me why he had to appologise. He might know that he should appologize but he doesn't fully understand effect of his misbehaviour on others and that is the thing what really worries me. He tends to copy silly behaviour of the other children in the classroom which grately annoys them (and his teacher). They don't like him and I tried numerous times to explain to him why it is annoying and that he should stop doing that and what are the consequences if he doesn't stop it. I also agree with you,Baddad, that it is essential for him to learn to control his anger and behave appropriately (like for any NT child really). One of the reasons I was reluctant to tell him about his dx was that I was afraid he might use it as an excuse. I suppose ASD children take more time to learn how to behave appropriately and I hope that he will learn at one point even if he doesn't fully understand why. Danaxxx

Thank you all for your replies. <'> The problem is that my son is often not aware of the situations he is in and also finds very hard to express what he actually feels. He often misreads the people's faces and reactions. He has problems with logical thinking. He plays piano, has good marks in long writing tasks in literacy (3a) but he still asks the questions such as: 'are all people who are baptized Jesus?' or 'why don't people operate pigs to take meat out of them instead of killing them?'(he is almost 11 years old). He still doesn't understand that the same film put on video tape or put on DVD is still the same film no matter how much I tried to explain to him. So for him to understand the concept of cause and consequences is not that simple. He cannot bear any preassure and works (and behaves) the best when his disability to perform high at all times (like his this year teacher expects from him) is taken into account. The last year teacher did exactly this and he loved her for that. He has never been rude to her and even academically scored better than now. In his IEP is written to write nicely and neatly ALL the time. He cannot do that anyway because he has dyspraxia. Daaxxx

Hi, My son is 10 (almost 11) now and his behaviour is deteriorating more and more. He becomes angry very easily and find it difficult to control it. He even kicked me once recently and this he has never done before. The headtecher called me yesterday because he called his teacher a b....h and even threatened her. He appologised to her after and said that he was angry and found difficult to control his anger. What is interesting is that his teacher was amazed because the whole last week he was really VERY good that he was even rewarded for good behaviour and efforts to learn in front of the whole school. And than suddenly literally in a few minutes yesterday after the asembly he was very silly and when his teacher told him of several times he became angry at her and called her names. After that he ran away hiding somewhere at school. They were all looking for him, worried. He told them that he was afraid that he would be expeled. They are trying to help him dealing with his anger. He has a sqeezing ball, the TA takes him out to cool down when he is angry, they tell him to breath deeply etc. I am very worried because I know (even they agree with me) that he doesn't really want to be like that but find it hard to control his growing anger. The last year he never behaved like that, even the headteacher said that at the meeting. I wonder is it possible that he is enetering puberty so early? What are your experiences and what can I do to help him. He is usually at home behaving well although even that is begining to change now. I am trying to help him understand that for every action there is a consequnce so if he behaves nicely he will be rewarded and if he doesn't behave he will be punished. He is not a naughty boy by nature. He tries to please us, he even washes the dishes sometimes in order to help me on his own acord. Sorry for ranting. Danaxxx

Hi all. We are thinking about moving to another town because there are almost no NHS professionals for ASD in the town where we live. Social services are very bad and there is no transition plan for children with ASD or any other disability. How is the situation in Leicester? Any advice appreciated. Thanks. Danaxxx

Spot on, Baddad! I totally agree with you. My son's experience confirms your views. He was home educated after year 1 until the year 5 when he went back to school and had a very good, empathic, intuitive teacher. He loved going to school very much to the extent that he counted the days of holidays (usually is other way around! ). He also achieved well academically (3a in literacy) in a class of 35 children without his own TA. The teacher spoted the nature of his disabilities, didn't shout at him, just being firm and encouraging at the same time. This year- different story. Although he has now TA for 21 hours in the class of 17 children he has not been so keen to go to school. With all the preassures of his teacher he didn't progress academically. To be fair, his year 6 teacher seems that now she is trying to learn more how to help him in more constractive way now after a lot of my son's tears, talks and negotiations (I had to be VERY diplomatic in order she not to take my suggestions as criticism). I suppose we all have to learn and to ajust to each other, hopefully . However, sometimes even with all the efforts this is not possible. It all depends on the teacher's personality and intuition rather than 'expertise' in ASD. Danaxxx

Hi all, Has anyone watched on BBC News chanel Clegg's talk with students in Birmingham this morning? I was horrified how he answered the question of one of the students about how he would help disabled people get to work. Clegg was taken back by it and said ' there are ALREADY lot of very good schemes to help disabled people get work' and that he would give more power to local authorities to decide how to help their people with disabilities. If there are good schemes why would NAS have to campain on behalf of unimployed people with autism? Obviously he hasn't got a clue! I was very disapointed because I was even considering to vote for LibDem. Maybe I will vote for Mickey Mouse this time. Danaxxx

I used to think that but Cameron being rich didn't have to claim DLA neither fight the system to help his child and also I have read recently the interview with him in Daily Mail (or Daily Express,I don't remember exactly) where he said that all peolple who claim DLA will be reassesed to see who is genuinly claiming it . In this climate of recession and his determination to cuts this could mean excuse to try to find the ways to cut even genuine DLA claims. BTW, even Brown has SEN child and a lot of the things have been done to improve SEN services during Labour (Lamb etc.) although certenly not enough. They also did bad with Badman report for homeeducating people so I am not really fond of them either. I also agree with JsMum about inclusion policy but what would Cameron do in the situation where he wants to make cuts? Would he build more Special Schools and send more children with SEN there? I doubt that. It is more likely that he would cut even present provisions. That is my personal opinion. Danaxxx

Hi, I agree with Kez and don't trust Cameron at all. I sincerely hope he will never come to power because, although I am not particularly fond of Labour neither, if Tories come to power now it will be disaster for the whole economy. I am afraid even to think what would it mean for our children. This is not so much beacuse they are Tories but they look to me totaly incompetent, both Cameron and Osborn. That's just my opinion anyway. Danaxxx

Hi, I just want to give you an update. AOT came today and we had a long meeting, me and her alone. It was very productive and she was very helpful. She herself has a son with Autism and gave me advice NOT to tell children and their parents about my son's dx because they might use it against him. Her own experience was that usually it doesn't make any difference for parents and it will not help my son. I told her that ds knows now about his dx. She will meet him next week and talk with him about it. The following week she will speak with the children of his class but only about his difficulties and how they can help him without telling them about his dx. Anyway, he got this term a TA (who never worked with children with Autism ) 21 hours, as specified in his statement. She came up with a long list of 18 rules! what ds has to change, many of them not realistic and even humilieting. My son was furious and wanted to tear the paper! I've shown it to AOT and she was not at all happy about it and aranged the meeting with his TA to talk about it. Thank you all for your support once again. <'> Danaxxx

I know how you feel, Baddad. Thinking the same about the world and my son too. <'> <'> <'> Danaxxx

Wel done you both! Danaxxx

Thank you all for your replies. <'> My son's urine was tested by Sunderland center and the results showed that he has intolerance to gluten but not to casein. Anyway he doesn't eat food with msg and aspartam but he has always been a big bread eater and never particularly fond of milk and cheese. We also keep salt and sugar very low. He has been taking vitamin supplements, fish oil, enzims and probiotics. He has problems with digestion and we observed that enzyms help a lot. We order them from Kirkman (actually through Tesco). He has started the gluten free diet aprox. one month ago and during the first week his behaviour at school was relly good (I hoped that it was because the diet) but after that things went back as usual although he is still on GF diet. So I don't really know what to think. I guess we have to wait for 6 months and see what happens. Is Gluten intolerance related to behaviour and concentration (this is what I think but I am not sure exactly how it affects the person)? Danaxxx

Hi, My ds has started gluten free diet. I wonder how soon we can expect improvements in his behaviour and focusing? What are your experiences? Danaxxx

Hi Smilie, Pleeeease do not feel guilty for talking about your problems here. <'> We all have problems and do that. Thank God for this forum. Nice and friendly people here have helped me a lot as well. It is good that you have a courage to admit that you DO have a problem with eating. I agree with Tally that you need help from your doctor about this. Only he can give you proper medical advice. Please DO it rather sooner than later because this is a serious metter and there IS help available. You are brave and you can do it. Maybe that idea to ask one of your friends to go with you is a good one. Keep us informed. Best wishes Danaxxx

Thank you all for your replies. <'> There is always a danger that he might use his dx as an excuse. So I suppose I will have to be very carefull what to tell him and when, and deffinitely in bits. Danaxxx

He is smart! There is nothing wrong with HIS logic. The frases such as those of 'taking responsibility for your own actions' could be questioned, esspecially in this far from perfect world, where things are connected often in strange and unpredictable ways. Don't take this personally, Baddad! Danaxxx

Hi, my son (10) has ASD and Dyspraxia. He was dx last year in November but I hesitated to tell him about that up until now. He accepted dx of Dyspraxia without problems but when I mentioned ASD he was upset because of the word 'disorder'. He said:'I don't have any disorder!'(I don't like that word either). So I changed it to High Functioning Autism or Asperger, which he accepted much easier. I told him that we are all different and there are things that he can do better than other children and also there are things that other children can do better than him such as social skills. But he can learn even these things. Interesting is that he immediately made assosiation with the character from his computer game Prince of Persia which he likes playing. He said that even Prince makes mistakes and than corrects them at the end. He told me that after I mentioned that there are a lot of children who has dx like him and who later on succeded in life and even became great scientists, writers and artists. He than told me to stop talking about his dx because he started feeling overwhelmed so I have decided to do it in bits some other times. I hope I haven't made a mistake by telling him that he has High Funcioning Autism (he indeed is high functioning) although officially his dx is ASD. Danaxxx

Hi, you can order the book called 'Schools, units and classes for children with autism and asperger syndrom' from NAS. I have done it recently because we will have to move soon as well. It doesn't say which schools are good, though. Good luck. Danaxxx

Thanks for your replies. On some chocolates was written 'may contain tracies of gluten'. I am not sure if just tracies of gluten are bad as well? Danaxxx

Hi, we found out that ds has intoleramce to gluten (not casein). He does not like the freefrom chocolates. His favourite one is Kinder chocolate. Does it contain gluten? Are there any other ordenary brands free from gluten? Any advice apreciated. Thanks. Danaxxx

Thank you all for your long, honest and helpful advice. <'> <'> >< Unfortunately, the HT only tried to calm down everyone and DIDN'T give that mother any hard time. In fact, she tried to tell me that she was a good mother trying to speak up for her daughter. Although, I could understand it to a certain point but I am not the one who threatens other parents for their children behaviour towards my son! The trouble with me is that in this kind of situation I get so much upset that I get paralised, loose ability to answer back properly (probably my own autistic traits). Anyway, AOT came today and made appointments with me alone, my son (one week later) and also she will come to talk with his class. I will have the opportunity to get some advice from her as well. Danaxxx

Hi, yesterday I had the most unpleasant meeting in my son's school about his behaviour. I was personally insulted from one mother who threatened to hit me if my son carry on being bad to her daughter. My son kicked her yesterday during the lunch time. He apologised afterwords but she complained to her mother. It was soooo embarasing and I was very angry at my son but when I asked him why he did that he said that the same girl told him that she would find the way to get rid of him. I asked hm when did she say that and he said 'two months ago'! I told him that his behavior was unacceptable and he was punished. The headteacher tried to calm everybody down but after that mother left she told me that the parents and children should really know about his dx (ASD) so they would understand better (hopefully) why he behaves like that. Today the Autism outreach teacher is coming to his school to give them some advice regarding this. I am not sure if that is a good idea. I haven't told my son yet about his dx (my husband doesn't agree to tell him ) and he shouldn't hear it from the children. He is 10 and was dx last year in November. If I tell him I am not sure how he will take it and wheather it will hold him back. Anyway, is it a good idea to tell the children and the parents of his class? Any advice appreciated. Thanks. Danaxxx

Congratulations! danaxxx