Mandapanda

Hi Do you think something bad will happen to them, or do you feel you are missing out and should know exactly what is happening to them all the time? Is it because you don't know if those other people are trustworthy and will have their best interests at heart? You need to acknowledge that your friends know these other people and trust them enough to do things with them. You don't also have to know and trust all their friends, this can be quite hard. You mustn't project your mistrust of people onto your friends and think that they will feel and think the same. Could you ask your friends to introduce you to these other friends so you can get to know them as well?

Hi LancsLad Thanks for investigating this problem yourself. It's always interesting to have information from someone who knows. I do understand what you're saying about feeling violated, I see that with my son. He doesn't like being touched, he doesn't like different tastes and smells, and when he goes to the dentist he is not just touched but they put gloved hands in his mouth. It is a very intrusive experience for him, although perhaps for different reasons to yourself. Hi chris54 Ewww, it is horrifying when you look back at medical practices and lack of hygiene, but I guess they didn't know, or didn't consider it a major problem cutting corners. Hi Paula Our dentist did say she would refer Aw to the Specialist Dentist but only after he visited her - which he wouldn't!!

Hi Sadly we've been there, seen it, done it, and got not just the T-shirt but the whole outfit!! Don't expect the school to sort this out. Have you been to the doctor and got a referral to your local CAMHS team? You need to try attacking the problem from every angle as soon as possible before things escalate out of control. I didn't do enough early enough and now my son is so isolated and avoiding everything that makes him anxious that they are going to forcibly take him to hospital this week, which we are dreading. You need to somehow find the energy to keep pushing and fighting for her. Contact your MP, speak to IPSEA and any other organisations you can about what should be being done. She's probably not explaining what the problem is because she is just reacting emotionally and does not consciously know what the problems are herself. Our son has many problems which all contributed in small ways to making school impossible for him. These things have only come out gradually over the years since he stopped going, and mainly since we deregistered him. Good luck. I know how exhausting it can be even without other children with difficulties in the house.

Hope all goes well. I nice calm quiet but enjoyable weekend hopefully ahead for you all.

I got my card and choccies at about 4pm!! Youngest son is sleeping early hours-mid pm at the moment. My eldest had chosen the card and choccies. At least my youngest came down and said "Happy Mothers Day". I wasn't expecting that!

Aw won't take any medication. He has major taste and texture issues. It's hard enough to get him to eat food. He only drinks water so we can't hide anything either. He is so entrenched he believes he can get better himself but has no idea how to and really is just protecting himself from anything he doesn't want to do or is unable to do. They are putting the referral forward to admit him as soon as possible. Whilst it's frightening, we feel it is the only thing to do as he will not change his behaviour in the home environment. We can't go on like this and he won't allow us to try over weeks, he is so adamant and angry about it.

OK the guy came and Aw pretended to ignore him but didn't shout or slam doors. He came again today and again Aw pretended to ignore him (after taking his headphones off!). We thought great! However after the guy went Aw came down and kicked off about him going up to his room and said he doesn't want to talk to anyone and doesn't want him to come again. He accused us of insulting him and saying he's "too pathetic" to sort himself out. He went up to his room and kept stamping on the floor, so dad went up and talked to him. He's quiet now but I can see things are going to get much worse before they get better. The i2i guy said he would probably need a hospital admission even if he started to engage, as his difficulties are so entrenched.

Hi Welcome!

Someone from the Intensive Therapy Team is coming tomorrow. We've talked to Aw about it but he says he 'will get better' and will 'flatly refuse to speak to them'.

Aw has finally turfed the old toothpaste out of the beaker and is firmly using the unflavoured non-foaming one!

Been there, seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. I had a pretty much similar experience with my son (though probably not for the same reasons). I believe my son has PDA too. PDA is on the autistic spectrum and there is info on the National Autistic Society website about it. It does sound like he could well be depressed, as my son was (and possibly still is). It is understandable that they might feel down if they are unable to do things other children do, or that they themselves used to do. We have given our son time to heal. School nearly destroyed him. He hasn't been for 3 1/2 years, we ended up deregistering him to try and take the pressure off him, which it did in his case. Does he have particular interests? You have to try and build on their interests and try and get them to go to somewhere with some connection with their interest (eg dinosaur museum, science museum, planetarium etc). Will he go down town to buy a computer game? I'm not saying that because I think he will, but he might after considerable encouragement. We found the best way was to 'drip' things to him, plant seeds in his mind that can then grow over time. Telling or trying to force has never ever worked for our son. Threatening to take things away doesn't work either, as he'd rather give you those things than do or stop doing whatever you're focussing on. Our son did get genuinely suicidal and the computer was his only 'protective factor', so it's very difficult for us to contemplate taking that away. It is NOT simple to solve. Some people do not realise how low children can get, or how they will fight for their life to protect themselves from things that make them anxious or fearful. Please do not be hard on yourself. It used to be impossible to be strict with our son, but now the depression and anxiety have lifted to some extent we can be much firmer with him and he is much more reasonable, most of the time. Keep trying to get help. Is there an old friend of his who might visit? Even if they just pop their head in his doorway and say hello and then go. If he can cope with that this could be built on over time. Try and take some time out for yourself if at all possible. It can be exhausting living with this situation. Any break will help you have the strength to deal with it.

As Tally said: "It's a massive coincidence, isn't it, that you are interested in neurology, and an unusual neurological episode happens to you?" It's fine to take notice of symptoms, just don't spend time worrying about and looking for particular illnesses. There can be any number of reasons (serious or not so serious) for symptoms.

Hi I've just discovered quinoa. I know it's gluten free but not sure if it's suitable for your family. http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/knowhow/glossary/quinoa/

Hi Could he have a dictaphone to record the lesson?

Hi You can contact the credit reference companies. They can put a note on your credit file so that if anyone applies for any finance, credit cards etc in your name it will be double double checked if they are really you. http://www.cifas.org.uk/what_is_a_credit_reference_agency http://www.equifax.co.uk/Products/learning-centre/if-you-are-a-victim.html http://www.experian.com/credit-education/victim-assistance.html http://www.callcreditcheck.com/frequently-asked-questions#19

We have the unflavoured toothpaste. Aw is using it but says he hasn't used it long enough to know whether it's OK, although he said "it doesn't taste of anything so that's good." He hasn't put his old toothpaste to one side yet - but one of them will get cast aside when he has decided. I'll let you know! I got mine on e bay which worked out a bit cheaper.

Hi epicvolts Two bits of advice: 1. Have a shower not a bath. 2. Stop worrying about having illnesses you don't have - maybe that's affecting your sleep.

Hi Is this an exchange? I don't think the families get paid - usually their own children would go to France at another time. I have heard of schemes for older students where families get paid for having them to stay, that's a completely different thing. I haven't heard of this idea of 3 students staying with one family. Perhaps you need to clarify on what basis they are staying there and how the families are selected etc. Have you tried the wristbands you can get for travel sickness. My son found them quite effective. It is scary for us parents when our kids want to do things and we are not sure they are yet capable. My eldest has constantly surprised me. When he first went away, him and his 3 friends who shared a room won the prize for the tidiest room! (Of course that's only because none of them got anything out of their bags at all, lol!) It's good that you've got a last resort in your parents, but he has to try things like this. Sometimes they are actually better away from us because we react at the slightest hint of a problem whereas others may carry on as if everything's fine and so he may follow their lead and carry on as well. Perhaps because you are English and it is a trip to England that makes him keen to go? I hope you can get some answers to your questions from the teacher and that things will go well.

Thanks oranurse - at last!!

If a Psychiatrist or Pediatrician has diagnosed Asperger's that is not your ex's fault, and it would be based on an assessment of the child not just one adults' say so. I can understand you might feel left out, but this is about your son getting any help that may be needed, and shouldn't become another reason for an argument between his parents (excuse me saying this, I don't mean to offend you - you may generally get on very well with your ex, or it may be your ex that causes problems, I don't know).. What do you disagree with? The fact it was done without your knowledge or involvement, or with the diagnosis itself? Obviously I don't know what reason your ex might have for not including you - perhaps it's just that you're apart, it's difficult to get hospital appointments without involving more people, or perhaps you have argued about the possibility in the past or not been supportive of any concerns. Perhaps you're the one who had concerns and your ex didn't want to admit that you might be right. It's never easy getting a diagnosis that there is something 'wrong' or 'different' with your child, and in my personal experience in some cases parents can be in denial either because they don't want something to be 'wrong' with their child, or because they think it's normal because they are like that themselves. My husband didn't see the difficulties with our boys as he was out at work all day. He just put difficulties in the evening down to them being tired and ready for bed. Also they'd be pleased to see him (having not seen him all day) and distracted from rituals etc because of that. Also I would be the one to see the boys in the social situations which showed up just how different they were, toddler groups, messy play, playgroup etc. Read up about Asperger's, Tony Atwood writes some very good books which show the positives as well as the negatives.

Actually ignore the above, I don't think it works. Sorry!

Is there an advocacy service locally - we have one called Speakeasy Advocacy and they help people with ASDs. There may be a general advocacy service if not a specialist autism one. I understand you have to explain how the conditions affect the person's ability to do physical things. It's not easy as the forms are aimed more at physical disabilities. Here are some links which may provide useful information: http://www.autism.or...-allowance.aspx http://www.disabilit....org/dlalaw.htm http://www.disabilityalliance.org/ http://www.disabilityalliance.org/f11.htm Good luck to your friend.

Hi Firstly Avast is a good programme. AVG is not great. Microsoft Essentials seems OK. Malwarebytes and SuperAntispyware are highly recommended and will pick up things AVG misses. Anything you want in your start up menu has to be copied to the Startup folder which should be in this sort of location: C:\users\admin\appdata\roaming\microsoft\windows\start menu\programs You can find it by searching your main hard drive for startup. However it's a good idea not to have too many programs starting up automatically as this can slow your PC down, especially if you're playing games. Not sure if that covers exactly what you're asking, but hope it helps.

There's nothing wrong with applying for a post like you used to do and saying that moving into a slightly different was what you wanted to do and you miss the work you were doing previously. There is a skills questionnaire online https://nextstep.direct.gov.uk/planningyourcareer/skillshealthcheck/Pages/AbouttheSkillsDiagnosticTool.aspx Your girlfriend may have keyworker status and therefore get help with accommodation. It does sound like you are getting exhausted and feeling low due to the extra pressures and difficulties you are encountering, so I would suggest you speak to your doctor for some short term support to help you through.

I like the French affectionate phrase that translates as 'my little cabbage'!