Mandapanda

Thank you all for sharing your difficulties - my youngest has many sensory problems which he can't explain yet and I don't fully understand. It's fascinating to find out some of you can hear lightbulbs humming - what a nightmare!

Hi matzoball He is very gorgeous - looks very strokable. I'm very envious!!

Hi darkshine Perhaps Mumble and I should REPORT you - surely someone would respond to that

UPDATE! Mj has now got 2 A-levels: History and Philosophy (both C), and 2 ASs: Sociology © and English Lang (B!). He also got Asset Japanese: 2 lots of 6 points and 2 lots of 5 points (all out of 6!), he's taking the GCSE this coming year . His stubborness and determination has got him there and I'm very proud of him

Hi darkshine I agree that what you are suggesting is a good idea. I definitely think that the Guidelines and Rules should be in a more prominent position. If we have people on here who have to be on 'premoderated posts' then perhaps the rules need to be made clearer for all to see.

Thanks - this one's good too! http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/colortrip/

Showing your age? (I must be showing mine too )

Showing your age? (I must be showing mine too )

Showing your age? (I must be showing mine too )

Hi Pancakemaker Thanks for the info - not sure how it's 'Off Topic' though?

Not sure they'd have me now

Thanks Westie, this looks really useful.

Hi Tally That is good news - in both cases! I didn't know Mensa had an Autism SIG. I used to belong to Mensa many years ago.

Hi Js mum It may be best for J to stay at school constantly anyway for a while as it will give him the stability and continuity he probably needs right now. Remember that the psychiatrist's report is not 'forever' - as you say you are sleeping better and relaxing, knowing that J is safe and happy (that's not to say he won't have his bad days - we all do!). Treat the next few months as a healing time for you both. I don't know what a Full care order means and whether it can be reviewed/removed in the future. But I do know that J needs you more than ever now, so just enjoy your time together and enjoy this part of his youth. After all the difficulties you both deserve to have some happy treasured shared memories <'>

Hi matzoball Hmmm, it must've looked like you were OK until you saw him He must be a good 'un to put up with that! Perhaps he was half expecting that reaction but is trying to encourage you to challenge yourself. It is hard but you do have to push yourself to get through anxieties - have you learned any relaxation techniques you could use in that situation?

Hi spudulika Welcome! Reading your post rang many bells with me. My youngest son was similar to yours, in that he 'hid' his AS very well - he spent years using all his energy blending in. He was a very quiet child at school, always wanted to watch for ages before joining in etc. Even though my eldest has AS, we missed/overlooked/ignored many things which should have alerted us to his difficulties, but as I said he was very good at hiding it (not deliberately of course), and quite different to his brother. The poo situation sounds to me like it is his sort of reaction to his emotional state - he was struggling with the noise and unhappy but didn't know how to express it. Star charts never worked for either of mine, and I remember one morning arguing with the eldest and telling him to put his jumper on and him saying to me "it's not a jumper, it's a sweatshirt", and he kept throwing his little brother's favourite toy in the bin and when I told him not to throw it in the bin I kept finding it next to the bin and he said "you said not to throw it IN the bin". I'm so pleased CAMHS are being helpful, and that school are being flexible. We didn't get that support and ended up deregistering Aw, and whilst home edding is brilliant and amazing, I would not have chosen for my child to suffer so much between going to school and home edding. Grandparents can be a fantastic stable influence in their lives, my in-laws were with my two. And how brilliant that you are just next door. Good luck to you all.

Hi Matt Not an easy to answer question, I assume you realise that! People with autism vary just as much as other people. They are not just their condition, they also have personalities and life experiences (good and bad). Of course there will be some similarities though they may not be universal. I would suggest you start reading about it, books by Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin, Donna Williams, Luke Jackson etc. Tony Attwood doesn't have autism but he is an expert who is wonderfully positive and affectionate in his understanding of it.

Hi Babies are designed to make you react, and their noises are designed to make you do whatever they need/want in order to make them stop. Have the radio or TV on so it is not the only sound. Try looking into babies eyes and seeing how innocent and open they are - they are not evil and are not trying to send you mad!! Do you get any break from baby? Can someone watch baby while you have a slow relaxing bath, or go for a walk, or even do the washing up. Just anything to have a mental break from the responsibility.

Hi I enjoyed About a Boy - nothing stated, but the boy appears to have autistic traits. It is very endearing.

Hi Tally So sorry about your brother. I lost a sister a few years ago, it was very painful. Some people do say nothing at all - it may be that they don't know what to say and/or don't want to say the wrong thing. Or they may be worried about upsetting you. Or they may have had their own loss in the past and it may upset them to think about it. Some people ramble when they don't know what to say, which it sounds like the 'mad woman' was doing. Of course some people are just totally selfish but that's their problem, not yours. I hope the arrangements are progressing well. It will be a very difficult time - I didn't cry until the day of my sister's funeral, and I probably looked quite unnecessarily hysterical, but it just all came out then. Thinking of you and your family <'>

Hi Denise2 How lovely to hear this. I hope the future brings good things for you both. My son has just turned 15 and has been off school for some years, and deregistered for about 18 months. Annoyingly the LEA in our area have insisted we be seen 6 monthly - the guy that comes is really great and understanding. In his last report he stated that he understood what we are doing and why we are doing it and that it is the right thing for our son, but then in the conclusion it said that the LEA felt that we needed to have a plan in place for him to take exams, and they recommended he visit again in 6 months to see how we have progressed with these plans! He is not ready to take exams yet. I can only get him out of the house about 6 times a year and it has to be something he really really wants to do to overcome the anxiety about going out and being amongst people. At least home education has given us our son back. He was so withdrawn and genuinely wanted to die before.

Hi I don't envy you, we had this with Mj. He had injections - if there was an alternative I would take it! How would they sedate your son? Mj wouldn't have a brace and the orthodontist was very understanding. He said it would just mean his teeth would have a less than perfect appearance.

Hi Jeanne I really hope Saturday goes well for you all <'>

Having no respect for adults and 'mucking around' in class can make you seem cool to other pupils, but that doesn't mean they are genuine friends. They may have enjoyed enouraging you in your misbehaviour, and then enjoyed standing back and watching what happened. If you were mucking around and insulting teachers and not doing any work that would not make teachers want to help you. It must be soul destroying for teachers seeing bright kids deliberately sabotaging their time at school. Not quite sure how you could be getting As if you're not in class and not studying by yourself?! It doesn't sound like mainstream school would solve any of your problems as you didn't put any effort into studying there either. If it's that you want 'normal' friends, join a club - youth club, wargaming club, air cadets, or whatever is local to you.

Hi Andrew Firstly, don't knock getting As. I assume you're in class when they are 'teaching' stuff, maybe you just take it in and retain it well. My eldest did OK in his GCSEs with no revision, but he has found doing A-levels a totally different experience. He won't take notes and thinks he can remember everything because that's what he did at GCSE level, but A-levels are a big jump up from GCSEs, and he is only getting Cs at best. IQ: An IQ level is only an indicator of potential. I have a high IQ (152) and have been a member of Mensa, but I'm really not noticeably brighter than the next person and haven't achieved any outstanding things. Both my sons are very bright, the eldest enjoyed mainstream school, but the youngest could not cope at all with mainstream secondary school and it nearly destroyed him - secondary school is very different to primary and the expectations on the pupils are much greater and the caring and consideration from teachers is much less. Is there any possibility that you resent being in a 'special' school and do not want to admit to youself that actually there could be some difficulties for you in a mainstream environment? If you're doing GCSEs presumably you won't be there much longer, what will you do after?