bettyhen

Induced at 42 weeks - failure to progress - F was distressed when they increased the syntocin. Finally C section at 42 + 2. The cord was completely wrapped round his body. Hi head still has a ridge on it from where he was pressing on the cervix. When I was pregnant he rarely moved and it was difficult to count 10 movements each day.

For what it's worth, we have half half an hour of wind down then do tea/homework - the order depending on how hungry he is. F is not allowed to play on his x-box unless he has done his homework. There is no negotiation about it, that's just the way it is. The pattern has to be the same every day or F can't cope and won't do it at all. Speaking as a teacher, I think it's fine to help with what he finds difficult, eg, finding a hero to write about or explaining maths but the rest has to be left to him. The whole point of homework is learning to work independently. If he doesn't do it then send him into school without it and let him face the consequences. If there are no consequences - ask why as school should be chasing this up and making him catch up at break time This sounds harsh on him but I don't think it's fair for you and your daughters to become stressed because of what your son is choosing to do (or not do)! It will be far worse by secondary.

Well, it's been mixed. He hasn't hit anyone and has been enjoying himself, I think, but getting him there is tough. He says he doesn't want to go and needs to be dragged away. He was better on Friday apparently when my husband dropped him off. Saturday was disastrous though - he said he wanted swimming lessons (despite not being keen on water) and we went for the first lesson but he hid behind me and refused to get in. We sat and watched for half an hour. He was really keen until he got undressed but then couldn't cope. When my husband takes him he struggles but will swim in the end. We'll try again next week but it's difficult to know what to do.

Thanks very much for your replies. It's helpful to know that other people have quirky kids and similar issues. He's due back at school tomorrow and has been foul for two days so I hope he's getting it out of his system here rather than saving it for school! He told me last night that he was worried but couldn't explain why. He did say that sometimes the other children won't play with him but I suspect that sometimes that means that they won't play the games that he wants to play! I said I was worreid about going back to school too (I teach p't in Secondary) and said I was worried that the children might be naughty. He said that he through they would be naughty because they wouldn't want to be back at school...I hope that as Mum of 3 said he remembers the 2.5 terms of not hitting rather than the 6 weeks of lashing out. By the end of the year he was very well behaved and very rule based. School don't do visual timetables etc but I am meeting the SENCO a week on Wednesday to draw up an IEP and may mention that as a suggestion. He is a child who needs to know exactly what is happening and to have multiple warnings that activities are going to change. He's being very AS at the moment but I think his behaviour seems to be exacerbated by the stress of change coming. He was much better when we were on holiday - we went round Doune Castle and he listened to the tape they give people (read by a Monty Python actor) and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He kept asking me questions about the Scottish throne afterwards. Well, here's hoping tomorrow goes well.

My son, who is also 5, picks his fingers and toes obsessively too. He also sucks his thumb and this has resulted in his front teeth being completely out of alignment. I am worried about it but he needs the comfort so much, I'm stuck as to what to do about it.

Thanks for your replies. I think the school aren't used to differentiating work and I will need to be specific in terms of what that differentiation entails. They also say daft things like "They all get there in the end" which is clearly incorrect! I teach English in secondary school so know about the academic differentiation but know nothing at all about the social side of it. F does need help here. When I watch him playing with others, he is very uncooperative unless people are doing what he wants. He hits the boy he's closest to and walks away with the others, ending up sucking his thumb and closing in on himself. He knows who he wants to play with but can't accept their rules/plans. He is worried that people don't like him.

My son is also terrified of water and the weekly hairwash is a terrible ordeal. We have tried goggles, which helped a bit, and asking him to lie down (no chance). The best technique is to wash his hair in the bath explaining step by step what is happening. Sometimes we manage it without hysteria. Asking him to wash his willy is even more traumatic! We have one possibly two baths a week. I got a real shock when i had another child who LIKED water!

Thanks so much for your reply. School are quite inflexible but since his dx I have asked for an IEP which may help in terms of him getting a place to go to to calm down while at school. They are not allowed toys though they would probably let him bring his baby toy with him. However, when he has him he sucks his thumb and turns inward even when he's with us. I think another sort of toy would help him though, eg, Captain Scarlet, so I will ask. We had 6 weeks of hitting staff and pupils when he started reception and I suspect he may react similarly this year through at least now he'll know half the children in his class (mixed R/Y1) and he knows the teacher and the TA. With regard to getting a speech therapist, nothing has been mentioned. All we have had is the diagnosis. I will be seeing the psychiatrist again in October though. I didn't realise they helped with issues other that speech problems - that's really interesting. I have been in touch with Barnardos who are doing a scheme where they support ASD children to join a club if they have no other support in place. There is a waiting list but I suspect you are right and F needs a structure. He says he is interested in karate and they said their best results have been with martial arts because of the structure. Thanks once again. It is so useful to have the perspective of someone who understands the complexities of dealing with a child with ASD - several of my friends refuse to believe it and I think consider me to be overly worried! The psych said that we'd done really well with setting up strategies to help F so perhaps we've done too well!

My son, who is five, has just been diagnosed and he too has a super imagination and has done since he was quite small. He used to make up proper stories with a plot when he was 3 - though he's now stopped this. He prefers fiction to non-fiction too and loves acting (though only for us). It was this aspect of him that made us, too, doubt an AS dx. However, other aspects of him are definitely AS and he's getting more so as he gets older. The flapping has increased, the grimacing has developed, he is angry and inflexible and is very stressed by new situations. When he started school it was a nightmare as he assaulted staff and children - this was completely unexpected. Once he knew the rules and the children's names, he was fine! I can't say whether your son is or isn't likely to have aspergers but an imagination doesn't rule it out! However, at least with aspergers there is a lot of help out there. If he does get a DX look at barnardos who are doing a lot.

Has his diet altered? When my son, who is allergic to milk, had chocolate when he was two, he temporarily lost the ability to walk properly - he was wobbling, stumbling etc. He also had an aversion to light.

My son is only mildly Aspie but seems to have got much worse over the summer. We veer between periods where he sounds intelligent and pleasant and much older than 5 and those where he is screaming, hitting and acting literally like a two year old. He carries a baby toy nearly everywhere with him, this makes him suck his thumb more which makes his speech less distinct. I keep making him do exercises with his tongue to help with this. The unpleasant episodes are increasing. He has one friend who came to play today and I caught him hitting him out of frustration really hard on the head. I can't get him to understand that he'll have no friends at all if he hits them and gets too angry. We have discussed leaving the room when he's angry but he gets too cross to be able to remember! Yesterday we went to the village hall to play and he refused to play with a boy he often plays with because he couldn't cope. He just kept asking to go home and sitting on my knee. We stayed for an hour for his sister and then came home. He is also flapping a lot more - perhaps because we've just got a puppy and he's thrilled to bits about this. I am feeling really upset about this as I think he is going to be really lonely and feel like an outsider because he can't cope well with others. He does want to have friends and be liked and is upset at school when people don't want to play with him. I don't know if there is anything practical I can do to help him.

Lots of poo experience here. I would cut out the milk products entirely for a week and see if things change before doing anything else. That should easily be long enough to judge. My son's BMs were foul with milk and still are if he has something that affects him. The gluten affected his mood rather than his BMs.

We use Kallo rice drink which my son adores. You can get it at Asda quite cheaply if you live close enough (we don't) and it has no additives.

My son's allergy doctor reckons that alzheimers doesn't exist in Russia where mercury fillings are banned...

My son, who is 5, has always had a difficulty with water. Once you get him into the bath now he is USUALLY ok but getting him there is problematic. He hates washing though he was a bit OCDish re hand washing for a while. When he was younger he would fight and flail. Swimming pools make him hysterical.

I noticed that you mentioned he was into World of Warcraft. Numerous people have become addicted to this with terrible results - my own nephew, who was heading for a first, dropped out of university because of his addiction. My advice would be to google it and then look at ridding him of his addiction in the best way you can. Deal with the rest of it afterwards. I hope you don't think I'm scaremongering but the whole family has been rocked by my nephew's experience. The Belgian Government take it so seriously that they support a group which helps WoW addicts!

Thanks for your replies. No, there's nothing in place for the beginning of term. To be honest, we wanted to change school being unhappy with the teaching generally, but after discussing it with the school, they felt that he would struggle with the change. He'll still have lots of change through because the Y1s in his class will go and the new reception children will start. He will find it difficult. Also, he is fairly vile at the moment, having huge tantrums about minor issues and looking much odder than before in terms of his posture and gestures so I don't know if the ASD is getting worse or if he's just disorientated by not going to school. I've got an appointment with the SENCO on the second Wednesday back, so any difficulties should have arisen by then. I'm not sure how effective she is as a SENCO though as she only works one morning a week! I suspect I'm going to have to plan what I want from an IEP so any advice will be gratefully received!

I've not tried it with my son but have it myself as I have terrible problems with my back. It really works but I can't understand why as it's so non-invasive. I would now use it in preference to osteopaths or physios. Its success may depend on the therapist, of course, and how it would help with anxiety I don't know but my back and neck problems are anxiety realted and it helps with those. I hope this helps.

My son has multiple allergies and can't have any injections for the foreseeable future so I've done quite a bit of research on this. We did try the single tetanus with disastrous results (I was keen to have this jab) but for general immunity from tetanus the opinion seems to be that you only need two jabs. He may have had these already. Tetanus was the only one I was truly worried about. With regard to polio and diptheria, unless you are travelling abroad the risk seems too be relatively slight, especially as diptheria is a childhood disease. I looked up the deaths from these and there have been none for decades. Don't forget there is a herd immunity with these things. It may also be possible to get the polio drops as we did when we were children - one of the single jabs places would know if your doctor doesn't - that is how we got the single tetanus. We may consider this later on but will ask advice from our allergy doctor. I don't know if this is helpful but it may make you less worried. I know people go to homeopaths for alternatives to immunisation but I have no idea whether that works or not.

Off to my mum's for a few days. Will reply properly at the weekend.

My son has just been diagnosed as having mild asperger's syndrome. He is quirky and eccentric but also has terrible meltdowns when thwarted in any way. I'm good at spotting the signs but as real life approaches, it is hard to protect him from himself. At the moment he is coping reasonably well at school though he is concerned about the potential of other children not liking him. This is inevitable through as he cannot share well and although intellectually he understands appropriate behaviour, he can't always conform. He still reacts like a two year old to minor problems - crying dramatically, hitting out and so on. He tries hard there though and I would say is less himself at school than at home where he is imaginative, questioning and like a much older boy when we discuss things. Verbally he is quite precocious, I think, though I'm not sure that shows at school. I am dreading going back through as when he started he was hitting and kicking staff and children for 6 weeks. I can't take a repeat of this! I've been reading through the messages and find people's experiences really interesting and helpful. This is a great forum!

My son has just been diagnosed with mild Aspergers. He is 5. I have asked for the school to give him an IEP, which they seem quite shocked about, and I will be seeing the SENCO once the new term starts. I suspect they have little experience of this and I need advice about what to include so as to best support my son. He does not require one to one support at present so there is no expense issue for them. I'm more concerned about their approach to things which he finds difficult and about protecting him. It's a small school so his teacher will be the same but his TA will be focussing on reception rather than Y1 and he'll find that hard as he has had a lot of support from her. When he started last year, we had 6 weeks of meltdowns where he was hitting me, staff and other children. They have gone now that he knows the rules. I am scared that at some point something will trigger these again. He does have them at home sometimes. When he does get angry, shouting at him doesn't work. I need a strategy to include that will encompass this. He also finds it difficult to look at staff sometimes. I'm like that myself and learn better when I don't have to look at someone. He can be rude - we don't tell him off but get him to repeat what he is saying nicely. This works well. He is reluctant to write and is the slowest (though not the least able) at school. I think he is choosing to do this but don't know what strategy would work for him. He needs instructions repeating several times before he grasps them. He is very anxious that he hasn't misunderstood. This includes when I have given him explicit permission to do something he wants to. I find a thumbs up helps with this. He needs to do things regularly to be happy to do them. We read daily at home because otherwise he wouldn't do it. He is very able verbally but is not demonstrating this at school. He hates going somewhere new (except for libraries or museums) and can't cope when he doesn't know people's names! I hope this all makes sense. I would really appreciate advice as I think I will be leading the meeting!