justine1

Hi my six year old had this problem with scratching when he was younger,I was told to change washing powder also to vaccuum the mattress for dust mite,even though it was a new mattress he is a bit more sensitive then others.He often felt more relaxed without pyjamas on (sleep nude) and he did this for about two years,he would wrap himself tightly in his duvet so he was warm.He did this during the day as well,at that time I did not know he has AS,even now although he wears clothes its always minimal,even when its freezing he will wear shorts and a shirt,people stare alot when I take him to school becasue he does not wear his jumper or coat!As for the bad dreams he has always had nightmares some he remembers well because it bothers him the whole day he likes to tell me about it then I can reassure him that all is well.A few weeks ago he went through two weeks of talking in his sleep,I dont mean just a word or two,he had conversations the WHOLE ENTIRE night!!!!It was hard because it was breaking his sleep (and mine) and he seemed distressed about the nightmares,all I can say is get him to try talk about it and reassure him,in my case I do seem to repeat the reassuring bit but it seems to help.

I was crying I was just relieved that other people feel the same.I was grateful that these mothers could be so very honest.I used to be horrified that mothers could kill their children I always thought "who do you think you are taking a life" that was until 20 months ago when I found myself looking after three kids alone and expecting a fourth.It is so stressful and draining to look after kids all on your own,I cannot imagine the difficulties the mother with the 12 yr old who has cerebal palsy must go through,and her other son seems to be taking on the role of "dad" I felt so sad for him.The mother I really cried for was the mum of the little girl who has an unknown brain condition,the crying oh my goodness,the poor women!She wants to communicate with her little girl and she cant.The story she told of how she wanted to end her life was terrible.I always say we are very fortunate to live in a country where children do generally get alot of help and support regardless of their disabilitys,where I grew up many children are abandoned at birth and raised in institutions never getting any type of education.However I do believe that the government need to stop spending money unnecessarily and focus on the children and familys like in the story.I am now so grateful for what I have and even feel guilty for complaining about my situation!

At the two schools my son has attended they both sent out letters to the parents with regards to extra curricular activities on the letter it would state that if children disrupt other children or do not wish to participate then it would lead to automatic exclusion,they also often had limited places so it would only be fair that if a child was not able to participate then another child could take their place.I know you mention you spoke to them about your child beforehand but did they say regardless of him disturbing others he can still join?Maybe there was alack of communication? Personally I dont think I would let my six year old join any clubs as most are after school he is always exhausted and I dont know how outsiders will manage his behaviour when even the teachers struggle most of the time.I dont know if you can use it to back up why you feel he is not getting the support he needs because firstly it is not part of the curriculum and secondly he may have not been interested in the class hence the reason why he was disturbing,my son disturbs others when he is bored,prehaps you wanted him to join the group to help him but maybe it just wasnt what he wanted?Only you can answer that.I think as parents there is always a part of us that wants our kids to do what the others are doing and maybe wish for them to succeed in classes be it music or football,it is only natural!

Someone from my course said there is also a programme on Autism on More4 I believe on Saturday,I will try confirm this,or someone else may correct me if I am wrong.

Tally you are so funny

Thank you so much for this I really feel better now,I know its not the same as talking but it really helps to get evrything out.I just find it hard to make friends,I have a friends from where I used to work but I dont feel I can trust her with my problems always worry she will gossip!Congratulations to you on getting through Uni and achieving your goals,I think its great!I think I will go to the GP just need the courage,I will take my three year old to talk about his weight and then maybe get to talk about myself.I know my three year old doesnt mean what he says,he often does say he loves me,I just think the not eating thing causes so much stress.My six year old who Has Aspergers also had problems eating but for some reason he was never as skinny as my 3 yr old,I think also my 3yr old (Dan) was a fat baby then when he reached 9mths he just dropped the weight and had issues with food he only ate with his dad,whereas Sam (6-AS) was clingy with me and so I was able to persuade him to eat even if it was not what we ate.I just see my Sam and Dan and think how on earth do people cope having more than one child with AS???I feel like I am talking to a brick wall when I talk to them.They aresuper sweet at times though!Thank you so much for your kind words!

Hi I also self harmed,between age 13 and 16,I had moved home didnt fit in and hated my controlling step father.I stoped completely when I met my boyfriend (who became my husband) I didnt want to have scars as it made me ugly and I didnt want him thinking I am mad!I really dont think that there is anything anyone could havesaid to help me,I remember the realise I felt when I did it,its hard to explain but it felt good ,all my problems dissappeared even though that only lasted mintes.I had to make the decision to stop on my own.I did relapse again at the age of 21 and again at 23 my husband become really controlling and accusing me of all sorts,to be honest it did not give me the same rush/satisfaction as it did in the past,and because I then had two kids I felt guilty for doing it.I am sorry I cant help you but know how it feels from a parents point of view as well,my Sam used to self harm alot for three years,he is 6 now,he doesnt really self harm but he does pick at sores and scabs,his face is badly scared because of it.I dont know how to stop him I tell him not to of course but he will go upstairs and do it out of my sight.I know your daughter will stop evetually. <'> P.S. You would not be getting advice if you were not a loving and caring mum,dont put yourself down,being a parent is really hard work esp.if your child has ASD.

Hi everyone I am really stressed I have not felt this way before and dont know what to do!I am a single mum of four boys,I dont get any help from anybody,their father visits sometimes but can vary from a couple of hours to them staying at his overnight,even when he takes them overnight I am usually left with my youngest and even my eldest.I am with my children constantly,not that I can complain I do love them dearly but feel I am losing the plot.I have just finished an OU course and have started another three OU course,two of them are level 2 which is the same as 2nd yr Uni,all my essays end up by being due the same time,more pressure.I have a uni interview,for nursing,on 19 Nov as well.I have a brother and father who are supportive but they live 15 min drive away and none of us drive,use a bus,so we see each other once or twice a month.On the weekend I had an argument with my ex and just felt I had enough I felt I could lose control,and was shouting at my poor kids,its not their fault and felt awful after this,I did sit with them and apologise but think they will never forget my behaviour,I dont want to be a bad mum!! My three yr old (who I suspect has AS) is very clingy to his dad and since I left his dad nearly two yrs ago he keeps saying he wants to go back,he sometimes says he hates me and he never eats anything,his dad gives him food which I freeze for him(only started this recently after his weight kept plummating) he always asks for his dad and this just makes me feel worse I feel like giving up.I never go the GP and I think I maybe depressed but I dont like meds and hate telling people my problems,find it easier and helpful to this on here.Also when I do my nursing I dont want depression to be on my records it worries me that this will prevent me getting a job.I am just really worried,I dont think I will ever harm my kids but do worry about harming myself then they will have nobody.

Hi there I have just read your post and surprised to see how similar your story is to my own.I also never had friends and even today,I always seem to link on to one person assume they are my best friend and dont bother talking much to anyone else,I have also been taken advantage of.I left my husband last year he to was phscologically abusive.I have four boys my 6 yr old Sam has AS and suspect my three yr old has.I really believe I have it after reading so much but I am reluctant for personal reasons to seek advice.Anyway the GPs all believe my ex has AS because of his controlling behaviour,living in his own world and he refuses to accept the boys have problems,he thinks people want to ruin his kids.Welcome to the group I know exactly how you feel and think you are great mum for getting help for you and your son. <'>

Thank you so much this has helped loads!Although my son is 9 he has been saying he does not want to see his dad for 19 months now,which seems like he is adamant I really try encourage the relationship but with my ex constantly saying things like "he is stupid" its not making it any easier,also my son is extremely advanced intellictually an emotionally,all present and past teachers have said this,so he is about 13 in that sense.I have explained that to my son that if he does not see my ex for a month or so then he can still see him when he is ready,he seems happy with that idea.A few weeks ago his dad took him to the hospital to get some medication and he slept at his house when it was just the two of them all was well,but this happened even when we lived together he seemed to give more praise and attention to the other two and not my eldest and when he did spend one on one time with him it was great and my eldest was so very happy.I have not arranged visits through court we arranged it ourselves,we were thinking of getting back together but have now decided to get a divorce so thats when I will get the visits down in black and white,because although he comes every second weekend he comes when its convinient to him and not the kids.I will see him today and disscuss what has happened and give him one last chance (as I have already discussed these problems with him before and he denies making remarks about my family)if the children still say negative things about my family then I will go to the solicitor.Thank you very much!

Hi My husband and I separated last year Feb,he saw our boys every weekend and then, without explaing to much as I have told the story before,he was not allowed to see the kids because of a social services investigation this lasted about 6 months.Anyway my eldest son Josh (NT) said from the day we left that he does not wan to see his dad,I thought maybe he thought he had to take sides and as he was only 7 1/2 decided he should see him regardless,since Jan this year he comes to see them every second weekend and Josh comes back crying everytime,he gets so upset he gets asthma attacks this onlt happens when he sees his dad.The main issue is my ex's dislike of my family,I have posted this on the Beyond adolesence thread,my children dont want to tell him when my brother or father have been to my house and he almost forces out of them ,the younger to openly tell him,but feel they have to say that they are not happy when my family come because they know he does not like them,my eldest tries to defend them and this is why he gets angry with him.Today my father and brother came to visit,while they were here SAM (AS) said he wants to spend christmas at my brothers so we thought that is a good idea he mentioned it many times and seemed happy at the prospect of this.Then their dad came after my family left,when they were in the car Sam said my brother was FORCING us to come for christmas,which of course was untrue as Sam suggested it,so Josh began saying Sam is lying,and apparently my ex got so mad he said Josh is a coward and stupid for defending my brother,he said my family are racist and that my father said Josh has an ugly face,all of which are complete lies.He brought Josh and my youngest home and took the other two to sleep at his house which I thought was wrong and that has happened before.My three year old also said a few weeks back that my dad is not allowed in our house,and when he visited my brother he said daddy said I shouldnt visit you.I am really confused about what to do I dont want to get social services involved it wrecked our lives to be honest.my other two Sam and DAn love their dad so very much and talk about him alot,but Josh(9 yrs now) does not want to see him again and I want this to but need to if I can get this in writing must it be from a solicitor or what?

Hi my brother,like yourself,works at a school he has many years experience with all children,he brought up my sons behaviour when he was 2 1/2 he first started by making jokes about him saying "he's a little tired /grumpy today." I would laugh about it but knew from early on that there is something wrong,it was not until I started saying to him (when my son was 3) I think something is wrong with Sam,that my brother started saying he thinks so to and that he recommends I see a GP.So I guesss that is what Katherine said see if she will say something first,it is hard but you cant force her to accept it if he has got AS I am sure that as a mother she will eventually seek help,if he is not at full time education most of the AS "problems" may not be that obvious so it may be wise to wait till then.I just think you need to step back a bit from the situation,I guess because you work with kids you may go into that "mode" and want to give your cousin your "professional"opinion but as you (I assume) dont care for him everyday at home or school then I think its his mum who will know best.Sorry if it seems harsh,but you are a very caring cousin and I am sure when she needs your support you will be able to provide it.

WOW Tally your cat must be really loved to live that long <'> I guess these problems come with age,I know its upsetting to see a loved pet in any pain or just "not themselves" so sorry

You are right I miss woolies to I have been on the online shop but its so not the same and much more expensive!I loved their home range ie.teapots etc. and loved going at spring to get picnic and BBQ bits,there was always a bargain.Also having four boys they were one of the few stores that had really nice good quality clothes and dont forget....the pic'n mix

Hi So very happy for you (and really jealous!)I am just starting the process.How long did it take?Great he will have support at playtime/break,my son has problems at that time of day as well.I hope it all goes well for both of you.

Hi Jo I have four boys my 6 yr old has Aspergers.Welcome to the group I have only been on here a few months but its really great,I often feel stupid asking questions that my seem silly but nobody here makes me feel that way I always get excellent advice for absolutley everything.It's funny you mention how Sebastian was different from birth,my Sam is the same I knew from when he is two weeks many even health professionals doubt this at times,so very glad you mentioned it!Welcome again! Justine

I heard of this on telly the other day,I really laughed I thought animals depressed???But I guess if cats and dogs suffer other " human" illness such as cancer though its obviousley not the same as humans,then I think it is true.I am sure if they off their food dont like playing much etc. that may be the sign just like depression in us.I just wonder though all those wild animals in locked cages (zoo's and aquarium's) how depressed must they be????

my NT son doesnt say anything really but he knows exactly what winds my AS son up,especially talking over him when he is trying to tell me something important because it does take Sam awhile to get everything out.When Josh (NT) is out at the park with Sam and others say "your brother is weird" he doesnt stick up/defend Sam he will say "I know that" but at home Josh will say those kids are mean to Sam and that SAm cant help it.they also argue alot but I think they are like most siblings and aside from the AS they are extremely different/opposite.

This is like comparing apples to oranges what you are saying makes little sense.At the end of the day people who have a fear oF spiders or heights can have control over the sitation,you can avoid or simply kill a spider,you would not even need to go near it just use a spray.As for heights one can as you mention develop techniques through councelling tp deal with the problem this does not mean they no longer havea phobia it can often take years o deal with.I was bitten by a dog as a child through no fault of mine I overcame my fears quickly but personally know people who have never no matter how much help they get thisdoes not make them stupid as yousaid about the girl,and also how did/would her crossing the street or even running from your dog make the dog aggressive?I just think like I said if you been through that and you spot a dog off the lead as a human all we think is to run from the animal even if thats the wrong thing to do as with most animals,so I dont think we should call such people idiots.People who abuse animals are neglect animals are the ones you can label stupid and idiots.

Hi I think I mostly agree with baddad (seems to happen alot)I grew up in South Africa and we always had dogs, cats birds etc. The major difference with here and there is there is loads of land there,the average garden there is approx.5 times the size of an average garden here,so people tend to only take there dogs for walks once a month because the have space to run around.Personally I would not have a big dog in my tiny garden I think it is cruel, and I love dogs! Also I would never have a dog in my house (controversial I know) but dogs are generally speaking for protection,yes they are "family members " but they are ANIMALS people should always take priority.Not to mention no matter how clean your dog is there are many health problems associated with animals living indoors.Sorry a bit off topic!I do think ALL dogs should be on leads you never know what can aggrevate a dog and a dog as I said is there to protect its owner if its outside and views someone as a "threat" they will attack they are not going to stop and think "oh this is a child best not bite them" This happened with my dog,she (german shephard) attacked a man in a park once he had a knife which she could obviousley sense but we could have still got prosecuted if he was seriousley hurt,another thing again little off topic,I notice most people who keep their dogs off leads do not pick up there mess because the dog can do it out of their sight,It is most annoying,it goes on the wheels of my pushchair and I bring that into the home where my kids lay and play YUCK!!!I must say there are many people where I live with dogs off leads generally they are just lovely and when they see the kids coming they call them to their side until we have passed by.As for who ever said that a girl was "stupid" for crossing the road when she was walking her puppy this is very incensitive do you know if she had been bitten before?this gives people a fear and they dont see a puppy they just see DOG=BITE.My AS son is very fearful of dogs and we were chased home three weeks ago by a dog all the way home (1/2 mile) it was very scary even for me,my son didnt ven want to leave the house the next day because he feared it would be waiting.

Hi Sorry that you are having problems. at your son's school.I unfortuatly dont have much advice ,I do know there are AS schools and there are some details of these on the NAS website,for me personally they are far but cannot remember the location off the top of my head.I just wanted to say because I to am exploring the possibilities of my son attending a special needs school,I have a fear because he is very honest and rude to people with visable dissabilities I dont really know how school classes are devided etc. into those that are more high functioning and those with greater delays.My son does make noises at inappropriate times at his present school,but dont think he would cope if others were to do this.It is very hard because he is struggling emotionally where he is now,and would love for him to be with other children that are similar to him and teachers that understand him.I do hope someone in the know will reply to your post as I would also love to find an AS school.

Thank you so very much for this I found another website called Kids source,it really opened my eyes.Not only does it say I have the right to a meeting it also says I have up to 10 school days to sign it,and I can also request an IEP meeting at any time during the school year.I also read on how my son should not be excluded from playtimes etc. which is what has happened because thats when he acts up alot.I really feel I have been treated like an idiot when I am not.When I met with the headteacher(also SENCO) on Tuesday she said I should be chasing up the place where he had his assesment so they can have a report,I was a little annoyed because (a)I had already given the center the schools details so of course they would have done this and ( why cant they help me by doing this???? She also said "shall I write down what you should ask them??" I was appauled as if I am a moron!I bit my lip and politley said "that fine" anyway in the end I called the center and they said as its only been a month they are still making the report and they will be sending it to the school.I am getting more,and more angry with the whole situation!Thank you all so much you are all angels <'>

Hi well I have to agree with Jsmum on this, I firstly dont really like asking "outsiders" for help I am in a good position in that I have two family members that work in the education sector so I can also ask them for advice,I just was not sure if I could make changes because I am still new to this but think its a great idea if I put it writing if there is a problem.I dont have a meeting I just go to the teacher and I sign it,then they give me a copy.Should I have a meeting?That seems for reasonable,I mean surely we should discuss the options first before its down on paper?This is I asked in the first place because its as if they decide things without discussing with me first!

Hi my son has a new IEP that I have been asked to sign tomorrow.I just wondered,as its only the second time I have done this,I am allowed to disagree and not sign if so,and prehaps make other suggestions???Thank you.

My son has just turned 6 and he knows he is different.A few weeks ago he keptsaying nobody understands me and nobodt REALLY listens to what I say,he went on to say my brain is super I think in agood way everyone else does not think the way I do.This was a shock as I have not told him anything about his brain or AS.