justine1

I was interested about what you said on how people seem to want to give the name disorder for every little thing(I know its not an exact quote so apologise) I felt the same before learning more about AS and in all honesty like many people when I heard the word autism I would think of a child rocking constantly unable to talk and not able to love or be loved,I guess this may be because at the age of 12 my teacher would bring his autistic son to school (I believe he had some childcare issues) and his son was exactly what I have described.I feel so bad for this stereotype but I think lots of people do this.My eldest brother used to make jokes about disabled people often saying they are "retarded" at the age of 23 he suffered a severe stroke and two more strokes thereafter(over a period of 2 years) he is now disabled, he cried so much at the time as he said that it happened because of his jokes he made as a child,it was heartbreaking to see him feel so guilty.Now he works with children he makes them accept people for who they are and its great,he also does talks etc for stroke association.Sorry that this didnt answer the question at hand but just wanted to share this.

Hello everyone,thanks for your help with this post.I have been to meet with the headteacher,she is the SENCO as I found out today,but great timing as they get a special needs educator to come in once a week and she happened to be present at the time.Seems like they have been doing lots to get things (statements etc) sorted for my son but nobody has involved me in this.Anyway,they have said they will meet the educational physc on Monday and discuss an assesment for my son,they also said they in the process of meeting with a board/team to discuss concerns and problems.They said he has settled down alot which is positive .I did feel I was rushed a bit but prehaps its because I didnt actually make an appointment which I asked for but she insisted I come in right away.On the positive side they say my eldest son is WONDERFUL!!!!Thanks again I couldnt have made that step without your help and support <'> <'>

Welcome to the forum <'> You seem to have had a bad time lately,but things seem to be more positive now you keep J at home.There are a few members who home educate so I am sure you will get plenty help and advice.It is not very helpful that your son has been told he is on the ASD spectrum but has no diagnosis,you should keep a diary of his behaviour (if you dont do so already) for when you go for your follow up appointment.Your story about the appendix reminds me of Sam he also doesnt really let us know when he is in pain,he had tonsillitis and chicken pox at the same time before and had been in pain for a week(according to GP) before we knew he was ill.

Thank you all for your halloween stories,I loved reading them,and I love the photo pics baddad and call me jaded,you must have patience I just buy the plastic pumpkins.Tally oh,I am so very sorry for your experience,do you have a neighbourhood watch/meetings?It is a good idea to get other peoples views if you can then prehaps discuss a plan for next year,you dont have to do that now because you still new to your home so when you get used to neighbours etc. I had that experience before with the egg pelting thing,after I had my second baby I was ill so it was hard to keep getting up so I didnt bother with halloween also had a sign up didnt stop them throwing eggs everywhere,so nasty!This year we had loads of little ones must who we know,it was very pleasant,and ended at 7.30pm which was good,so my lot could unwind before bed.

Just two things really,firstly the three wise men travelled from far to bethlehem in fact it is believed from Africa hence the reason why they had gold,frankencense and mehr,all natural resourses from africa,secondly I think one should not be debating about the "fabrications" of the bible on a forum for ASD,it is a little insesitive to us believers and has nought to do with ASD.Dont get me wrong I am all for freedom of speech but this should either be posted as off topic or on a separate forum.Just my thoughts.

I have never been a Fan of Michael Jackson,but my brother is and so I did grow up listening to his music and I like it he is a genius really no doubt,I prefer the old stuff motown years,Jackson 5 and a week after MJ died I brought a three disk jackson 5,its great.My three year old has become a fan of his now,he loves billie jean and has perfected the dance routine he also constantly sings "what about us?" My Sam (AS) loves rap music especially Dizzy Rascal's "Bonkers",it is driving me a little mad!!!!

Hi I just completed level one and doing three more courses(two at level 2) at OU.It is hard because I am a single mum of four kids two under 9 and two under three.I do agree with Tally level two is really hard,I did six AS level's and as I mentioned just finished level one but still struggle a bit with level 2 so it is better to start at the beginning.They have loads of support if you need it and advice center is friendly.I know with some courses you have to be working to get sponsored by your employer but most are open to everyone,there is financial help available as well,either your course will be paid for or you can pay by instalments.

Great that you enjoyed it and you got home safe and sound!I saw Neil Morrisey talking about it a few weeks ago and it did seem to be better than the film.I LOVE Neil I think he is lovely!!!!

My son was nine yesterday (27th) my sister in law's birthday is today (28th) and my brother's birthday is 8 Nov,so we usually have a huge party on 31st or Saturday after if its a week day.My brothers friends come from London and my son invites his friends its always great fun and saves a bundle on doing separate partys,plus its not difficult to find decorations!This year though my brother is in Mexico and my son has bad asthma so we will be in.I do always make sure I got sweets for the trick or treaters.I dont take mine trick or treating because I dont really think its good to knock on peoples doors "begging" for sweets!They get sweets from relatives though with my permission.I do get them dressed up its fun and we have our own little disco.

Hi I think it comes back to the fact all kids are different.Firstly you will definatley know when to tell your child if Santa does not excist,my eldest (NT) has questioned me for years over the issue sometimes I have had to think really quickly,I wanted to keep the magic alive for him but both me and my ex have always known(since he was 5) he did not believe,he is 9 now and I plan on telling him about this,he is sensitive so I know he wont tell his brothers.Secondly,Sam (AS) loves christmas he especially loves the traditions and points out the things we have missed out (routine/structure) he loves going to church and knows the story of Jesus birth" by heart",again he also likes to focus on one present and we do this at birthdays to,my relatives give me money so I tend to spend more on his one big special present then two/three for his brothers,he has had problems like last year where he was so spoilt by my dad he ended up breaking half of the toys out of frustration, also when the sales come I take him to the shops and he usually gets to chose some more presents or clothes(which he loves),he does not like crowds so I wait two weeks after christmas and if I see something online will get it that way.He wants his room done this year as I havent had the time or cash to do this since moving 8mths ago,he wants a BEN10 theme so thats what I am going to do for him and he wants some figures as well,so I think it will be easier this year.I dont go overboard with gifts for any of my kids anyway,I know lots of kids brag about how much and how expensive their christmas was,I dont want my kids to focus on material things I think its shallow and a bit "bratty" to be honest,but this is my opinion.My nephew is REALLY spoilt to the point we got no idea what to buy him anymore he has everything and he is only two,it does show because he doesnt share and when he is at the shop its "I want this" which none of mine do.Sorry rambling now!!!

WOW!!!I am so pleased for you everything sounds so positive!!!I think its great you settling in,I know it can be hectic moving to a new home I have done it so much lost count. Anyway so glad you back here and you and your cats are well. <'>

You have helped me to <'> I like that you say your children are your gifts this is so true,I think even though all of us have really hard times we are all grateful to have our children,as so many are not that fortunate. Chat anytime you want.

Hi watched it,I was happy to watch Mr NG squirm!!!Also glad to see on a whole the audience were against him.It was good that they mentioned immigration and I think the Barroness answered it well,I came from SA seven years ago,and have worked hard and paid a whole lot of money to stay here and as I work in the health sector I can see the affects of immigration,yes there are positives,but there needs to be some limit definatley not to close the border because some migrants bring alot to the UK.Sorry to ramble on basically I do get why some may be leaded astry and vote for BNP.What did you all think???

I get like this alot is is so hard,I have alot of social issues myself though I know my ex has AS I sometimes look at myself and think I to may have AS.I just find it a nightmare to make friends to be honest,the mums at my kids school,most are either much older than me or talk about stuff I hate eg.celebreties,diets,fashion,it makes me feel abnormal cause I like talking about scientific breakthroughs,social decline and politics.I had some friends from work but again they did not have kids and when I talk about my four they seemed as though they were not bothered.I will be your mate

Thank you so very much Karen and KezT you put it very simple english that I could now understand.Before the summer hols they did say he has the action plus thing I had to sign what they were going to be doing with him but its supposed to be updated,like before he had a problem with classroom keeping still fidgeting and disturbing others,they helped him through that and he is better in class but really aggressive at playtime as he doesnt know the boundries of playing,their suggestion was to keep him in at playtime not the whole time but about half in and out at play,I didnt sign anything about this,also he has told me that he often ends up in the office which nobody has ever mentioned,I get frustrated because seems like the minute someone gets hurt its "Sam has done this and..."but the rest of the time I get told nothing,I was hoping to see the teacher last week for parents evening but she was off sick and no arrangements have been made to do this in the near future.Tomorrow is the last day before half term and think it would be good to go for such a meeting like you mention with the senco and headteacher,but its unlikely to happen tomorrow.Anyway thank you again because I honestly didnt know where to start the meeting sounds like the perfect place to start.

Hello everyone I need lots of advice please,I am new to all this and really dont know where to start.My son had his first assesment a month and half ago,we were told he has AS but need a second assesment where she will only talk to him.I have seen many conflicting messages about statements and DLA,some say you can apply before a written diagnosis others say you can do so before???I did start the DLA form which is ever so long but wondered if it would be better to wait,even though I was able to give the name and place where my son goes for assesment.My main concern is help at school though,he gets no help and teachers are not helpful I have looked at various links etc. on statements and help at school including the bedforshire council education page it gives no advice on who to contact about getting him help,so how do I go about this and again do I need to wait until the diagnosis is on paper???Sorry to ask many questions and seem a bit daft but I am really busy at the moment and trying my best to keep everything balanced my son is really upset and feel at a loss really.Please help.

Hi there My son is also six and I also was reluctant about the diagnosis thing because like you I have managed his behaviour just fine except for the usual tantrams etc. I soon realised at school he is a different child and has many social problems,by not getting a diagnosis he will never get the help he needs and who knows what his future will be then.it is like any medical condition no help your condition will deteriorate.I just think given that it can take up to 2 years to get the proper help I do think you should go for it you dont want to wait till he is a teenager because teenagers have issues anyway regardless of asd or not.You dont knowwhen his behaviour will get worse.so do it now.good luck. justine

It was appauling but glad everyone knows that it is happening.I am white and my husbands black,I grew up in South africa where such things are common came here cause thought would be better to raise a family on a whole things have been good but last year I moved to a small village and my kids were racially abused everyday,by kids aged 6-12 years.I hated the snide remarks people made when we past etc.My kids just had enough so left after 6 months.

I love that!!!

Well he is at school at the moment,funny he is also year2,I am waiting to speak to his teacher today as she was off sick last week,and then I have next week (half term) to think about what to do.What did you decide in the end?I am just scared I have put going to Uni off for three years and now I have a place I dont want to push it back/defer a place,at the same time I hate the fact that my son is so unhappy.When I told another mum about his AS because she kept complaining all the time,she said "so he is not coming to school anymore?"as if he no longer has a right to the education her son recieves,he is seen as a bully yet he has named three others that bully him.so confused!Hopefully by next week I will know what to do!

Hi I know for some people honesty is hard to swallow,but I often appreciate my six year olds honesty.Two weeks ago,my father was outside smoking,he has severe asthma(has three inhalers) smokes at least 8 a day,my brother and I always moan and have said something once or twice to my dad,anyway my son said "Grandpa you know that if you smoke your lungs will look like asphalt and you will die!" he didnt smoke for the rest of his visit I wish he would quit so hope my son keeps up the good work!

Hi I watched it,I think a couple weeks back someone on here gave a link to a newspaper article on the same family.It was nice to see them in the flesh so to speak.I also laughed when they mentioned "how are you?" my son often gives a long speech on how he is,he is usually not "fine",I know he does this but I must be honest I always slip up and ask him this question,I ask my other kids so just seems to come natural,in a way it is okay because its the only time he will tell me about his day,he will "shut down" after that,it is only strangers I feel for as they do want to listen but often dont have the time!I think they do seem fortunate in that they have received help and support,well they didnt say anything negative on that,which unfortunatley other people will think all of us get this help.On a positive maybe seeing such a "normal" family will remove some misconceptions about Aspergers and other forms of ASD.

Thank you for that,I know I will have to educate him at home for now because I began to go through this process early in the year in fact this was for both my son's,they were both being bullied and racially abused constantly so I removed them for three weeks in the end I decided it was best to re locate cause the village was just not my cup of tea!My eldest son is happy at the school they attend,I have two younger kids at home and I am studying so would I seriousley manage to educate him even if it is temporary???Also the education authority said someone would come and see what I will teach and do with him before it is approved so worry that if by chance it is not approved he would have to return to school dont know how he will cope with that,not really sure what to do,there are no special schools nearby but the area I want to move to does have that option but still he may think me teaching him is long term so therefore may be even more upset in a year time when he has to return to school.I would love to teach him until high school or even beyond that but I am a single mum and want to develop my skills so I can work and provide for my four kids,hence the reason why I am studying.I just feel at a loss he is always crying after school and everyday begs me not to take him,he keeps saying nobody listens and teachers just tell him to be quiet when he has a problem I have tried talking to them without success.

Hi everyone. I just wanted to know what the rules are regarding keeping a child off school?I have seen some parents on here who have kept their kids home/removed from school,while they decide what to next either new school or home school.For me I dont think home school is an option but I may have to move next summer because the place where I will be going to Uni is 15 min drive away,and trying to figure out childcare is becoming difficult(the Uni is where my brother,father and the kids father live-therefor I will have more support)My eldest will be moving to middle school in Sept and Sam to yr 3,the area I wish '#]to move has middle school from yr3-yr5 so they will both be at the same school ,in fact my eldest went to the adjoined lower school for pre-school so may remember some kids from before.Sorry I am going on,basically Sam is so unhappy now so I am hoping to keep him home then he will have a freash start next Sept???

This is shocking honestly,I really feel for you,you must be one strong women caring for three young kids and your man,and you work and study....You got to be superwomen!I always remind myself when I moan that my life is not that bad really(not that yours is bad-sure you get what I mean)we all take things for granted in life!I wish you luck in getting things sorted!