Paula

I always kicked up one hell of a stink too.....they used to get that sick of hearing from me that theyd do owt to get shut.But it draines you and leaves you emotionally exhausted.............You think why do we have to kick up and carry on just to get whats due............ I used to stomp down to the gps over stuff and when they refused to help i used to say .............. I bet if me last name was Windsor wed be straight in.................or id say.............I bet if i slapped 300 quid down on the desk we be in by the end of the week................They hated me guts but it got results. Id put on this hard front ..you have to be an imovable force..then id go home and fall apart.............. Its like dont these people understand its hrd enough at times getting through the day specialy if youre Aspie kid is going through a rough phase and the behaviours are all kicking of without haveing to battle for every little thing. My next big battle will be ensureing when he leaves compulsary education next year that he gets all the correct help and acess to stuff hes intitled to............... Ive been going to the gym every day for two years pumping iron doing cardio and spin classes............theyd better watch out coz i can put up one hell of a fight................ Good luck with youres.

Because for every one person who fights and kicks up a stink theres another ten that give up and hey presto the powers that be have saved a bit of cash............ It stinks.

<'> <'> <'> It sounds perfectly normal to me.Ive been there and done it and come through the other side. Its awfull thinking about the future worrying and wondering whats going to happen and i wish someone had told me what im going to telly you. You dont know what the future will bring so try not to look too far ahead imagineing what might never be ie the worse case scenarios.I was told when my son was 5 that hed never be able to read or write or do mathmatics that i had to face facts hed never fit in.You know what they were all wrong because he can do all these things.Hes completly exceaded all expectations and hes doing great.Hes 15.....hes happy,he has a lovely if stubborn persoanlity,hes well liked by freinds and neighboures he can use a bus on his own,he knows the money system,he goes from strenth to strenth.I wish when hed been 5 i could have seen what hed be like at 15 it would have saved me a lot of heartache and worry. Take each day as it comes and like i say never say never.

I should just add last time he got invovled in something it went pear shaped and he ended up with a broken coller bone...........maybe it wasnt such a good idea me enrolling him in tea qwondo...........martial arts and my son dint mix........what can go wrong with rock climbing,canoeing and bush craft..............watch this space....when i see it written down theres a heck of a lot can go wrong................ im upping his insurance Though last time it went wrong we thought hed get a pay out....... that where theres blame theres a claime coz it was the instructor broke his arm demonstartaing a move .....wed cash spent in our heads, holidays ,shoes clothes the possiblilites were endless......then we found out bloke want insured properly and any claime was a waiste of time..............i thought typical............I wipped his sling of his arm and sent him back to school he was only home so it looked good as though he were incapasitated and in trauma for the claime..............As i put it .......it was worth a whirl

We thought wed never see day the pants werent under the armpits................it was shamfull...........oh we tried to say dont pull em up so high but it fell on deaf ears or should that be aspie ears.............hed insist on it............now though its all change ............he wears fashinable jeans low slung his underpants on show like rest of the daft lads ye see with there backsides hung out........hes blending in............he likes nice t shirts and hoodies its all good stuff.Thing is he lets the whole look down by wearing socks with the day of the week printed on them..........who knows why who knows why these swocks are made and sold.Oh and hes topped of the look with the naffest hat you can imagine does nowt for his look or ears that stick out like taxi doors....so yea hes improved hes getting there but hes still too shamefulla younger brother for his ultra trendy big sister........shes dubbed him the nickname teeth...........his teeth are a bit wonky he needs em straightening out but they wont do owt till hes lost all his milk teeth adn even at 15 hes still got a few......his sister says you see the teeth before you see him....trust her to exagerate the whole thing.

When i first started posting on this website it was about my sons bowels and bloated stomach and toileting issues its less than four years ago and i cant beleive how things have changed in a relativley short period of time.Hes gone from strenth to strenth and yea somethings never change hes as awquard as H**l still and stubborn but hes so much more aware that he is these things now more open to my suggestions.heck he even wears deodrant and uses soap.......he no longer insists on wearing elasicated pants pulled up under his armpits...........hes got into fashion...........he can tie his shoe laces,he can use a bus alone and go into shops alone and buy things............. You look back and wonder how you coped how you didnt leg it and never return how you kept it all together without looseing yer marbels........... You know i truley beleive things arent going to be half as bad as i thought they were............ theres hope hes gonna get there and live a full and happy life.

My son was like that then i found him on the internet viewing dodgey sights.............i was in shock but thought least its something normal for once........he was 13 at the time ..i soon put a stop to his activites with the words party is over..........I didnt even know he knew how to spell the incriminateing words to get onto these sights and links.........Just shows never underestimate the Aspie mind or a teenage boy.

Well he needs to get out and about but in a controlled safeish enviroment or as his sister so nicely puts it hell get his head kicked in..........thanks for that i think..............Putting me mind at rest as only his 17 year old sister can. You see in less than 12 mo ths hell be leaving the safe enviroment that his is special school her doesnt mingle with anyone outside thast school except the odd person that enters our house via his sister and they just blank him un less forced to socialise with him.I bet hes so lonely deep down ..maybe he isnt though. hes going to have to mix and fit in the best he can with normal folks in the future so he needs to realise but in a subtle way that some of his behavioures are odd and not on...........I dont expect him to ditch his ways but to try to copy and act like regular folks itll be easier in the long run for him. yes in an ideal rose tinted specs world it wouldnt matter and everyone would accept him and make allowances but reality is no one does. Its getting him out of our haire for a few houres a week,hes going to learn new skills,meet folks and please please if there is a god meet someone to take him of our hands.......

It was my sons first time last night at a local group and he loved it.Its something to do with the Duke of edininburgh award scheme and has kids for the age of 13 up to young adults a real mixed bag of folks with learning difficulties or in wheel chaires and Nts. He loved it. All sorts of activites each thing lasting for 12 weeks.They can do canoeing,rock climbing,bushcraft,gardening alsorts.My son is going to do the bushcraft course it involves learning how to make fires live of the land prepare animals for the pot alsorts.All this for £2 a week.Im so so glad i found out about it. Im hopeing itll build his self esteme,help him to mix in with Nts.Its gotta be a good thing.

Daft question but if youre a support worker provideing accomodation ect for homeless young people why was he being asked to leave at 11pm..............

I bet hes driving you potty................easier said than done but id just let him get on with it and ignore him hell get fed up eventually if hes owt like my son 15 when my son knows hes hit upon something to wind me or his sister up he revels in it and does it even more. My son is currently on a phase of robbing food out the fridge and freezer when were out of the house and hes on his own............dafftest thing is he normally reckons hes unable to open tins or even take wrappers of biscuites when muggings is here to do it for him yet left to his own devices he can work the microwave and cook himself stuff......my son is at times a ***S taker as they say and im a gullable idiot. Youre son wont starve hes eating .

Totaly different way of dealing with it but id remove the baby from the room and then id just let the lad get on with it .My way of thinking is hes probably not ready for sleep hence the reason hes wandering round or he likes to do these things before sleep as part of some type of routine hes got into. I say all this because my son wanders around in his room always has done............he doesnt put the tv on but counts money out his money box rumages round in his wardrobe sometimes wanders about downstaires collecting stuff hes left he even for some unknown reason drags the washing basket into his bedroom.who knows why.........i found over the years that he settles quicker if left to get on with what ever hes doing because its over quicker than me interfearing with it all.

<'> <'> Youve had a taste of what most people take for granted normality.My son has been away a couple of times with his school on trips longest was for 3 days and yes i missed him.............i think.Or did i just miss haveing something to do constantly fetching carrying fussing around him worrying and panicking over him.Who knows.It always make me realise just how much my life revolves around his needs and what makes him happy or what wont make him kick of and cause havoc.Its like a weight is lifted from you and lets face it its great. hes of to france for 3 days in Septemeber any luck they wont let him back into country... ........no no i dont realy mean that. Dont feel guilty youre probably like me and a whole load of others contemplateing a lifetime of care for youre child unless ..........and im realy hopeing.............someone is daft enough to take our son of our hands betime they say i do at the alter and twig hes a bit odd itll be too late..........well a rented his room out.You deserve a break and to not miss him .

When i used to work as an escort transporting kids with special needs and disabilities to and from school we used to use a special harness for kids who would try to escape there seat belts ...they tended to be on the autistic spectrum.I dont know what they were called or where you get them from but they couldnt escape for life or money out of these belts we called them houdini harnesses......wasnt the official name.Perhaps if you get in touch with school transport type of place they could tell you where to get hold of them.

Its his last day today................hes done that well that theyve said he can go back againe and do two weeks there later on in the year.Hes realy enjoyed it and has announced he wants to be a labourer hes enjoyed the physical work and made a freind who he says is funny.the weeks got easier as its gone on and his tantruming on an evening has stopped everything all settled as it comes to an end.................typical.

Mumble Im full of surprises.

Marian Keyes This Charming Man Funny witty a real page turner ive read all her books i think shes ace.

Ive worked with sevearly disabled children, children who to some at first glance can appear to have no quaility of life kids in wheel chaires who have life limiting conditions hooked up to all sorts of machenes. I too would think maybe theyd be better of dead they cant get anything out of life there just an empty shell.How wrong i was.I spent a year takieng kids like this to and from specialists schools and they did get something out of life they would respond to chatter to al sorts of stuf.One child who was deaf and blind amongst other physical disabilites would light up when the bus went go over speed bumps smileing and makeing sounds of joy.They all had personalites distinct to them.Who was i to say youre life is not as worthy as mine.I realised how naieve id been. So what shelbys mum has her hands realy full with all her kids.I dont think i could do it she must be shattered.But then if someone had said to me 16 years ago id be doing what i do now copeing with my son and all the problems hes had i wouldnt have thought i could do it. I think the phrase that someone used a grandma to one of the kids william i think it was sums it all up.You play the hand that god deals you. I was in tears watching the program not because i was sad but because it makes you realise how crazy we all are fussing over clothes and size and haire and makeup and all the trivia...............whingeing and moaning over little things when in reality i for one am blessed.

fantastic program it realy is. I fealt very humbled after watching last nights episode.I watched it last time it was on and it was great to catch up with the children featured.

Reminds me of when i told my son not to go any deeper than waiste deep in the sea on holiday.............he ended up over half a mile out to see with me screaming to get him back to shore whilst wadeing out to get him.His response was well i didnt go further than waiste deep......water was shallower than i thought.

You just dust yer self down down you regroup and carry on.I wont mention this morning when he gets in itd just make hikm kick of againe.He will be enjoying it but itll be the stress of haveing to fit in thats tipping him over edge.All the old behavioures are resurficing all the things i thought were long gone are back and i guess im upset coz i thought he was over all that even though deep inside i knew he wasnt its like a rotton reminder a rotton kick in the teeth at the optimism id been fealing over him this past few months...............kinda nar nar na na hes never going to be normal.what you actually thought he was improveing. Off on a tangent but me daughter NT 17 is all down also coz she hates her job she was all depressed and weepy last night too..............she dropped outta college after only 6 weeks last september then her bloke dumped her in January after 8 months.shes a new fella in tow now and thats all rosey and happy.........she refuses to go back into education i cant force her............my sister and parents are always banging on saying she needs to sort her self out ect ect but shes only 17 in my opinion it could take years to settle.her bloke is 20 and hes not settled into a job he likes are owt hes been branded a waster by his daft parents.Im ranting and whineing on i know .But its like why do you have to have youre life all sorted out at 17 or even 20 yer still young and daft and finding yer way. Moan over. I fancy big portion of chips for me dinner and deep fried chicken..............forget the diet i need it.

Spoke too soon...............i know hes stressed with the change of routine and even though on the surface hes enjoyed yesterday this m orning has been more hellish than normal.He was refuseing to get out of bed and ready,he wouldnt get dressed i was trying to gently coax him he was rtanting and raveing at me.Rightly or wrongly i lost me rag coz i couldnt take any of it anymore...............ive had a rotton few weeks not feeling well womens stuff.......dodgy test results follow up appointments ect realy worrying as this happened years ago and id to be treated .............anyway i lost me rag shouted for gods sake move yourself and that naturally made it worse. Why why cant things me simple why cant stuff be easier..............i mean he leaves school this time next year im dreading it its going to be a nightmare .............whats going to become of him..............i know it could all be ok but im thinking oh god ill be stuck with him trapped againe for god knows how long.Its a rotton prosprect. I hope today goes well for him .Ill be glad when its all over.

He did his first day of work experiance today and it went well.He was a bit shakey in the morning kicking of and being very controlling but i put this down to him fealing nervous and not realy knowing how to express this. Of he went and i worried most of the day but i neednt have bothered he was full of it when he got home about how hed been out in the works van,how hed helped deliver stuff,clean up and lift things how hed had his packed lunch in the work place. Hed had a good day and said the people were nice to him. he looked dead grown up in his workmen boots............health and saftey said hed to wear steel toe cap ones........im a happy proud mum.

Ive paid to see a consultant private in the past.........i know not everyone agrees with this but if youre suffering or in paine or ill then why not. To put it bluntly just go and see youre gp say youll see the consultant privatley and hey presto youre in within at times 48 houres any follow up treatments can be done on the nhs.............its getting to see the consultant that refers you on for trreatment thats the trouble.i was once told id be waiting almost 8 months to see a gynea consultant i said ill see them private.............i was in and seeing them that week and was refered by him for further treatment on the nhs.Cost me at the time 70 quid and was worth every penny....i saw some bloke private a few weeks ago cost me 100 againe i was looking at months and months on a waiting list yet could name me time and date when i said ill see them private,.