Paula

Just thought there might be a young office junior at this place me sons of to today.............hell be kicking him self that he didnt shower then wont he...............

Typical mandapanda My son starts a week job experiance on monday at a local joiners theyve had kids from his school.........a special school before.My sons dead excited and hes to go for like a mock pretend interview tommorrow......hes announced hes wearing a shirt,clean jeans and shoes........i said you haveing a shower...............nope he said...........i thought typical so much for a new leaf a new start his relaunch into the world.............must only happen when hes of to particular coffee gaff with said eye candy for him

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Well the day continued in a good light..............we went into town together.............on me own as husband working..............he was cooperative in buying new jeans for himself.............said he wanted to be cool sylish.his sisters influence and whingeing finally hitting home............thn he went with me to a coffe place and low and behold he isnsited on going to the counter with me because..................the girl around 20 purple haire trendy pierced lip smiles at him he said..............suddenly it all falls in to place............typical shes had more influence with one smile..god help her shell learn hes now fixated on her.............than years of me whineing on.............he even insited on takeing the empty coffee cups back to the counter............i got me revenge though by saying shed got a fan he quickly exited shamed apparently be mum. Onwards and upwards long may it continue...............i joked with me neighboure when she spotted hed got a bag with new items in i said its his relaunch into the world............last week and this is no lie he got his eyebrows waxed...........hed been helping me deliver leaflets for a freind who did waxing and other treatments and as payment i could choose anything of the list and coz hed helped he insisted he got something too...........hes spruceing him slef up...........lock up yer daughters.theres hope yet well marry him of

Im in shock This morning my son.............15 of his own bat had a shower.............first time hes used the shower in over 4 years would insist on a bath and then only once a week due to the water hurting him if he showered.................he even used soap,he even run his dads razer round his face..............he has whiskers and normally i shave them of for him every week............he then sorted himself out when it came to drying himself ....againe i normally have to sort all that out...........then and i was in utter utter shock he put deodrant on..............unasked...............normally he refuses to do so says he hates it it smells and stings him...........and all hell breaks loose if i try to force the issue............he then put on fashionable jeans and a nice shirt..........he normally sits round in a raggy dressing gown............ I then entered his bedroom and hed made his bed,opened his window and put things away. Im looking across at him now and yep its still my son hes not been replaced in the night. Im not going to question him............as to why after years and years of me saying you need to shower,dress,deodarize ect and him going beserk why suddenly it all clicks and he does it. Its been comeing on for the past few weeks gathering speed. I guess eventually stuff clicks into place...............why does it take years though............I guess like all men hed to think it was his idea

My nt daughter and her boyfreind went to see it in 3d but he said it was the worst film hed ever seen...............then againe he is 20.

Mys son 15 likes watching the Flaunt channel...............mmmm.............dont think its for the music though.Least hes displaying normal teenage boy behaviour for once.

Im not sure but doesnt Emma Noble have a child on the autistic spectrum im sure i saw here interviewed a while back speaking about it all.Lowrie Turner also has a sister i think on the spectrum but she rarley mentions it.More "stars" should raise awareness if theyve got someone in the family on the spectrum.

Youve given yourself the answer ......what works best is being realy freindly and giveing lots of praise.............thats the answer for youre boy youre situation dont listen to what anyone else thinks you should or shouldnt be doing you do what you know works best for youre son. I learnt the hard way not to listen to people who looking back hadnt a clue about anything to do with my son..they made a bad situation ten times worse. My son has moderate learning difficulties and aspergers syndrome...............hes verbal resonable able and is 15 years old. When he was younger he too would behave like your son............violent outbursts.ranting raveing anything would trigger it of or sometimes apparently nothing at all.Id be able to tell just by the way he would great me on a morning wether i was in for one hell of a day with him or not.some days id to not speak a word because just the sound of my voice would provoke him and hed go off on one.Hed head but me,scream,nip stomp around it could and often did go on for hours. If im utterly honest i never ever punished him........what was the point i thought...oh i tried it but it made matters worse.........i was no saint id be lieing if i tried to pretend i never lost my rag because i did but againe it just added fuel to his rage. The best way for me and my son was for me to ignore it all....to nodd and agree with him whatever he was ranting about to smile and let him get it out of his system.Eventually hed calm down and a lot faster than if i tried to stop the agro. I used to tell myself that to me he was ranting and kicking of over nothing but to him it was important it was realy important and who was i to say he was wrong that it wasnt so i didnt know how his aspie mind ticked how he fealt............how could i. All i can offer is hope.............my son is older than youres and as hes got older his moods his outburst are few and very far inbetween..........thankgod..............coz at 6ft 3 i wouldnt be able to handle him.Oh he still has them but he normally wanders to his room and kicks a door bangs about shouts that everyone hates him and then calms down and carrys on as normal...............i still dont shout at him,or tell him hes wrong.at least not immediatly coz it sets him of againe...............i normally waite and slip it into conversation a few days later gently and in a trying not to critazise him way. My son is fully aware hes different..............we can actually have a laugh at some of his oddball ways. Do what works for you,ignore so called professionals as i used to say they arent there in the shopping centre when all hell breaks loose its just you and the rageing aspie lots of stareing people but no one wants to know.

I could wirte a book to rivel war and peace on bowel movements and poo and constipation............. To cut a long smelly story short my son suffered from seveare constipation combined with anal leakage and a realy bloated stomach.he did suppositries,movicol alsorts.............id constant dirty underrpants alsorts it wa anightmare went on for years and years..............hte peadiatricion took samples alsorts. In the end i looked at his diet.............i cut out fizzy drinks,processed foods,cakes basically rubbish and i put him on wholewheat nutty bread,flax seeds ,pune juice and fesh meats and home made veggie soups...........it was hard going but it did the trick.................it took a few weeks but eventually his movements improved and now he goes regulary every day to the toilet and his stomach is flat no bloat no leakage no soiling............. I often wonder if it would have sorted out with time and age.....maybe it would have........weve relaxed the regeme on food now i mean hes a teenager after all.............perhaps it was just a stage a phase but its one we could have lived without.

My son now 15 hates leaving the house also unless its for something specific ie he likes xbox and loves to go buy games or visit the gameing shop other than that its like pulling teeth. When he was younger it caused real problems because id to get on with stuff and force him to come hed kick of and be a pain to put it mildly the alternative was staying in all day every day the six weeks school holidays were hell on earth with me tearing me haire out trapped at home with him. Im lucky he can be left home alone hooked up to the tv or xbox with a pile of sanwiches and a drink to hand and the telephone by his side so i can phone him and check all is ok...............yes i know bad mum.............lol............hes happy enough though it works for us everyones happy we get out he does what he does and says hes glad to be shut of us he enjoys the solitude................ He willingly came to the supermarket with me today to so call help..............somedays i wish hed bloomeing stay home..........he did me nut in.

Oh Hev Youre so so funny...........why dint you just wax youre moustache...............hahaha I havent seen youre posting for ages but then againe i dont visit as often as i used to but i remember you and youre lad coz hes the same age as my boy. I hope things are all settled down a bit............i remember he was a bit of a handfull as is my son at times..............my son towers above me at 6ft 3 and im poweless when it all kicks of.Teenage lads hey with aspergers .yer need nerves of steel. Hope yer well. Paula

Bluefish Please dont feal that its the end of hopes and dreams just because youere son has Aspergers.My son is now 15 and hes a complealty different kid to what he was like at 4. I too used to despaire and wonder what the future held if anything and kinda mourn what id lost all the hopes and dreams you have.But you just have other dreams and hopes. My son has exceeded everything we thought hed be able to do. I rmemeber when he was a toddler just hopeing that one day hed hold my hand without a load of fuss............he did eventually.then i thought i wonder if hell ever be able to ride a bike how great that would be.............he can do that too........then i thought will he ever be able to read write add up use a computer......and he can do all thosse things. Then as he got older i just wanted him to maybe be able to tie his shoe laces and when he announced after years of me trying and failing to teech him that he could do it and not only do it but do it with his eyes shut...he the proceeded to show me i actually cried. The day he went on a bus on his own to town..............i followed on in the car and met him was a scary but great great day. In a few weeks time hes going to be doing work expericance .................he goes to a special school...and hes dead excited..hes got plans and dreams of going to college next year he loves woodwork ..............and you know what i bet you hell get there. Dont give up hope dont despaire or think things will never get easier or improve because they can and do and you look back and realise how far youve come.It just takes a little longer and a few more tears. I hope this gives you hope ..i know when my son was young id a freind with an older as son and she gave me hope too........

When i dont want to speak to a particular person on the telephone....sometimes its me mum because i just cant be bothered what i do is allow the telephone to ring and ring eventually it cuts to the 151 answer service i then when the calls rung of can check whos telephoned and if i want i re call them. Or and ive done thios in the past i let people known im haveing hassel on the phone and we set up a code.it normally consists of call me let the phone ring for a second then they cut the call and imediatly afterwards they dial againe and this time i answer the call.its like a password thingy so i know its not someone i dont want to talk to. I also have calleer reconision on me phone and if its a number that doesnt come up in me phone book i dont answer it. Yes its a bit of a faff but it works. Also you want to contact youre telephone company and report it as nusance phone calls im sure theres a way that calls can go through the operator and then forwarded onto youre number it would put them off. Keep a record of it all.

Welcome to the forum. Years ago when i was trying to get a diagnosis for my son.......ive never had an official diagnosis i gave up......the professionals could never agree and it all became too stressfull.anyway............years ago whilst going through all this.my son is 15 now a dr who i was looking to see privatley to get my son assesed and diagnosed telephoned me and said something which realy helped.He said just because you have the "label" it changes nothing youre son will still be the same person with the same problems and issues and behavioures so why persue it it changes nothing. It was the best advice id ever been given and i instantly stopped persueing a rubber stamped dx and just got on with it and helped my son the best i could to be the best he could because this dr was right a diagnosis will change nothing..but the persuite of one causes some people a heck of a lot of stress. Not everyone will agree but if i were you id just acept youre different.that youre unique and yes it may be aspergers it may be something else who knows but knowing will change nothing. I spent my childhood haveing problems fitting in,ive spent most of my adult life haveing other issues and yet it took till i was 30 to realise i suffered with bi polar disorder a dr picked up on it after getting to know me over a number of years..........suddenly everything id gone through in my past clicked into place but the knowing i was BP actually changed nothing i was still the same person who had problems with certaine things. You sound very articulate with immence insight into yourself and what youre problems are if i were you id talk with youre family or freinds at how best to move forward and that might mean not persueing a diagnosis.

I claime carers alowance and it doesnt affect the tax credit we get infact you should contact the tax credit folks and inform them you are receiving dla for one of youre children as it actually increases the tax credits you receive for that particular child.

For a second there i thought finally someone with a problem like mine............ (deleated the problem too personal) back to youre daughter my son used to hide his underpants wed find em all over the shop and they used to be soiled i guess h was too embarresed to tell us.When he stayed at his grans they couldnt wotrk out where his dirty worn pants were.he was there a week in the end they found them hidden in a drawer under some tshirts all in a right state. My nt daughter hid her knickers when she started her periods she was scared to tell me.its daft in it the stuff they do.

Gives me hope for my son who is also 15 i still cut his toenailes and he nibbles his fingernailes. its something people take for granted with "normal" kids but its a brill achievenment for kids with problems.i knlow when my son announced he could tie his shoelaces and proceeded to show me i was on the telephone to his gran,me sister,his dad basically everyone i was that excited.and he was 13 at the time in fact i actually cried. Small steps but they eventually get there.

oops posted too many times

My parents have tried over the years to get there heads round theire grandsons prblems.When he was younger they were of the thinking it was me who caused it all and that basically all he needed was a firm hand.....i was too soft.Aspergers was all aomething id made up. But give them tehre due has hes got older and theyve realised he isnt "normal" for better want of a word there there to listen to me whinge on,they will look after hi if we need them to..............in fact they had him for a full week in september so we could go on holiday alone as a couple we left our daughter on her own it was our first holiday as a couple in almost 20 years. I think its not easy for someone in this case granparents to fully undertand all the ins and outs of the condition and how it effects youre life in small ways when they dont live it 24/7 so they can be of the thinking whats all the fuss about there nowt wrong with them.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ive had my son off school all day so he could attend a drs appointment hes driven me nutts ..when i got there the dr had booked him into the wrong clinic and they wouldnt deal with him so id to go home and rebook............. Somedays you could just chuck bricks. Top it of ........hes off school againe wednesday due to a so called teacher training day............what they trianing in is what i want to know.

I too would not approach the gp unless you can be 100 per cent certaine that they wont run straight to social services in a so called attempt to help............. My son is sensative to touch..hes 15.............a slight touch can feel like a hit.and yet he has a high paine threshhold and will often not reat to actual paine or if he bangs himself yet will go crazy if you just touch him when he doesnt want touching.He also has issues surrounding tempretures and will often say water is boiling when it is infact realy realy cool. I wont tell you how i know but i do kbnow that often self harm is a way of expressing "paine" fealt in the mind into a physical paine because the physical paine is easier to handle.............perhaps youre son is trying to visually show you the turmoile he feals when someone touches him..............who knows. I hope you can go to youre gp and it helps i realy do but you hear so often about well to do drs who end up causeing families to go through hell.

My son now 15 was out of nappies during the day at around five but wasnt dry at night untill he was almost 10 even then if under the weather hed occasionally wet the bed. When i was toilet training my son i just took his nappies of so he could reconsie he was wet.It meant a lot of washing hed go through every item of clothes a day due to wetting them but it worked in the end .It took around two months for him to go to the toilet. The biggest issue i had with him was waiting till the last moment to go to the toilet hed sit ther wriggleing round uncomfy desperate for a pee but refuseing to go then hed have to run to the loo.Even now at 15 he sists till the last minut.perhaps the need to pee has to be fealt realy bad ly before the desire to go or reconise the signal kicks in.........who knows. Wed major problems though when it came to him going to the loo to do a poo.He was so contispated his stomach was all bloated......sometimes hed sit on the loo for two houres and refuse to poo hed go weeks and weeks and suffered awfull leakage.............he was under a peadiotrician who in the end gave hi m some supostitarys that basically contracted the bowel so he had to go to the loo weather he liked it or not Its taken till the age of 15 to have him use the toilet correcty for both purposes and be dry consitanty all night..... He has a fear of toilet paper though...........too long a story to go into ..he wont touch the stuff so after years of trying to get him to use it to wipe his own bottom but failing hed literally scream the place down he now uses a sponge.it works for him and means hes clean. They all get ther in the end it just takes time.

mumble Im sorry i was just saying stuff tongue in cheek.........i didnt mean to offend anyone.my own son is autistic so i do realise that theres issues surrounding clothes ect. My point was that we live in a world a culture that wrongly values looks,and fake tans boobs and haire above the brain and this is more so when it comes to women.I dont think its wright but its how it is.Women are always described in articles as blonde,tall,brunnette ,leggy ect always there appearance first there achievments academic or otherwise afterwards.

Im only generalizeing.................