dm2010

Position on the Spectrum ? Sounds like Colonel White at Cloudbase on the TV show 'Captain Scarlet' ?

Next week - for a BIG management job. Executive car, the works. Can I really pull this off as an Aspie !?

Small steps I think is the answer for now. Rather than try and do lots, think of a small task that's not in your usual list and do that. Then another . . . . it does work.

"I feel like a huge failure, because I lack social ability- and it feels like that is really the only thing that is important in building successful a career/life." Social ability isn't all important. Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie and of course Temple Grandin are all proof of that. And believe me, having relationships go wrong isn't an Aspie exclusive thing. Got a driving licence ? Then how about an agency job driving a van delivering parcels. I did that for 18 months in the 90's recession, in fact I was on the verge of taking HGV lessons when I got back into regular work, as I had already progressed from vans to 7.5 tonne trucks by then. This experience came in very handy much later on when I drove minibuses with very large trailers, I was the only one able to reverse a tractor and trailer unit accurately. I've always puzzled over the contradiction between my lack of motor skills and my success in driving large vehicles. I drove tens of thousands of miles without so much as bruising a tyre. I guess it's a slow burn - takes me longer to learn a skill but I retain it better and in more detail than most.

Not a chance I would ever disclose. The fact is most interviewers have never employed a disabled person. And most never will. Rightly or wrongly, it generally reduces the chances of getting a job. Besides, why should I disclose something that in my line of work is on balance helpful in doing a job that is both tedious and highly skilled at the same time. Interviewers won't appreciate this though.

Hmm. . . . Schools do try and sabotage people's futures. Headmaster of my secondary school made sure I had a very poor university reference. It was so bad that I got told about it at a university interview, they had never seen anything like it. When back at school I complained, and the headmaster rang the university up to tell them off for revealing the contents of a confidential reference ! I knew I had done well at A level despite the dire predictions of the school because I got a 3 unconditional offers on the day of the results, before I actually had the results in my hand. A few days later I went into school to pick up my last odds and ends and ran into the headmaster. A very frosty conversation ensued, which after about 30 seconds turned into a physical fight which he started. I was sensible enough not to do anything more than walk away, being taller and stronger than he was. But his power ended at the school gate, which is the last thing I ever said to him as I left.

Well there are the records of the apprentice boys riots. Although it was a pesky adult who didn't pay his bill causing the initial problem. Boston Massacre 1750 The incident started when a wigmaker's apprentice, Edward Gerrish, complained to local army British soldiers that a man named John Goldfinch had not paid his bill. Goldfinch ignored these claims, but Gerrish returned later with a small crowd. The tension grew. The crowd grew, shouting insults at the soldiers, and as the evening grew later an estimated 300-400 people surrounded the troops and pressed them into a tight circle. The soldiers fired their muskets under duress and killed five colonists. And also Socrates does say that the students "tyrannise" their teachers. Whatever that means it can't be good. Not that the Egyptian adults were any better - ancient texts describe when workers were not paid their wages and downed tools - the first recorded strike in history !

And here's a few more "I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders." (Hesiod, 8th century BC) "The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates, 3rd century BC)

Got round to this one very late. Actually I was incorrect, the date was 1200 BC. http://www.thecaveonline.com/WORLDHISTORY/ENRICHMENT/egyptianscribe.html The following is a letter written by the Egyptian scribe Nebmare-nakht to his student Wenemdiamum. "I spend the day instructing you and you will not do your practice at night. You follow the path of pleasure. You sit with your friends, you travel and visit with scoundrels and vagabonds. You sit with idlers. Do not do these things. What are they for? You waste your life!"

The whole process around local authority intervention on AS is very sad to witness. Matters drag on for months or years with an awful lot of people involved who only exist it seems to pass pieces of paper between each other. The interests of the child are supposed to be paramount. From what I can see here the interests of procedural and legal process are most important, the children's interests come a long way down the list. Does it need to be so difficult ? Surely if AS is a recognised condition, then it should be diagnosed by doctors with special help prescribed and monitored by local GPs (after training) as part of the NHS. The involvement of all and sundry does not seem to help matters.

Sounds like other issues here - out of my pay grade this one.

AS is no excuse whatever for violence or bad behaviour like this. I had a younger brother who thought that I was a soft touch and decided to throw a punch at me. My response was shall we say, decisive - he never did it again. PS great avatar, Cillan Murphy steals every scene in every film he's in. Always seems to miss out on the leading roles though.

What I see here is someone is selfish and unreasonable. Not an exclusively Aspie thing, which I don't believe he is - but let's assume this is so just as an exercise. To take your list in detail : • Someone who does not condone bad behaviours so as avoid getting involved ie actually cares how I am treated. Absolutely you should be getting this - aspies are often very strong and consistent on right and wrong. • Cares about children’s development. Certainly. He should be backing you on discipline. • Someone who actually cares about our family enough to want to be with us. Aspies are NOT antisocial by choice, so that is not an excuse. Close friends and family are often very close. It's the general public they are not comfortable with. • Honesty and openness as this is what he gets. An emotional connection Honesty and openness - certainly. An emotional connection you may not get - this is what aspies find so hard. • An occasional night out and holidays away. Joint planning of family freetime. Yes, and aspies often love planning activities in exhaustive detail with close friends and family • Cooperation in running and maintaining the house Yes - tell him what you want though rather than expecting him to guess it. So overall, even if he is an Aspie (which I very much doubt) there is no excuse for this behaviour.

Primary school is probably a lost cause. So best to concentrate efforts on the next stage. "I am getting my local MP involved to try and help me, and currently am going through an appeal process to try and stop him being sent to the officially 'worst secondary school in England' " You have to prevent the above using (as the UN Secretary General would say) "all necessary means". This school would probably ruin any child's education. But for an Aspie it would be definitely so. Private education a possibility ? Even if for a temporary year while appeals etc go through.

Divide by the number you first thought of. Or to put it another way Probability density function = [1/(2*pi*sigma)^-0.5]*exp[(X-avg)/(2*sigma^2)]

'youth of today' 'Things were so much better in MY day' etc hehehe was ever thus Adults complaining about poor educational standards is a very, very old chestnut dating from around 1500 BC - pyramid texts complain about a serious drop in the quality of Scribes coming out of schools !

<growl> AS people certainly have unique abilities, but geniuses we are generally not. I have to admit that by the time University mathematics got to Laplace transforms and 3 dimensional partial differential equations my brain was well and truly frazzled. Then again, no one else understood it either. Much like the TaniyamaShimura conjecture and the proof of Fermat's last theorem ! Incidentally the solution to the wave equation is based on an infinite Fourier series . . .

Welcome. Believe me you're one of many Aspies diagnosed as adults. Have a look at this thread for my experience, and that of many others too. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/26196-diagnosis-at-41/page__p__303314__fromsearch__1#entry303314 It's a curse and a blessing at the same time. Google "Temple Grandin" for a contemporary example of the positive benefits of AS.

Partners have to understand - don't assume an Aspie knows how they are feeling. So all it takes is to speak up when you are not happy or want something - don't use non verbal communication because it doesn't work. Once that uunderstand is reached, things become very productive because Aspies are famously predictable and reliable. Just what is needed for a long term relationship to succeed. My advice would be to take courage in both hands and tell your partner about AS, its problems and its benefits. And the fact that so many people with AS achieve great distinction in their fields. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Aspies make hopeless boyfriends or girlfriends because they never understand the political side of temporary relationships, especially between younger people. But as a husband or wife Aspies can be brilliantly successful. You see what you get without exception. And if you're going to be together for 50 years, a political agenda won't work anyway.

Sounds like a full house to me on AS. With the right long term support and environment that formidable intellect of Xavier's can be sharpened to a very fine point. Yes it causes lots of problems but since a whole bunch of Nobel Prize winners were Aspies it can't be all bad.

Can you play for time and delay the meeting until you professor gets back off leave ?

If you had a free choice and hindsight, what support would you have needed in these jobs that might have made them turn out differently ? I've had some bad experiences work wise but some good ones too so it's not one way traffic. And in one job I lasted 48 hours, which I'm actually quite proud of. Not an AS issue, just a rubbish job that I was daft enough to take on. Like the name Aeolienne - derivation from Greek Aeolus god of weather ?

If he's able to turn on tears to order, then he can choose to behave a lot better than he is doing. Aspie teens are perfectly capable of acting reasonably on their own account if they want to. It's when they are told 'be more sociable' or 'fit in more' that demands become unfair.

IPad is easier to use than a keyboard and mouse. Good AS tools. It is also the best of the tablet computers, as IPhone is the best of the smartphones. And yes, they are a snobbish bunch who charge too much. But they do make the best stuff so they can.