Alli

Thanks 4 all yr comments will take me a while to digest. I do believe my partner has AS and is selfish. Will reply in more detail tomorrow. Have taken the advice of a friend to look after my own well being and then address issues. Went to an alternative pract. this eve for energy balancing/ massage feel less "wound tight" was shocked at how sore I was physically and was unaware that I was. Haven't slept properly in ages. Anyway thanks for the comments Alli

Finding it really difficult at the moment with an aspie partner(undiag.) and yes you have guessed he won't/can't discuss it. Would appreciate constructive comments Very fragile at the mo but this site is usually moderated well Is there a problem…….? He won’t discuss it so here it is • No support on parenting issues to the detriment of our children including one with AS • Avoidance (work, computer and jobs for others as much as possible) • Constant lying or withholding of information to give me no say in things. Buying thing we don't need. • Lying about time/where he is going. • No desire to spend time with me or family doing normal family outings/activities. • Money given to kids to keep them “happy” at a distance with no real quality time spent with them. • Strangers more important • Won’t organise any social event e.g. visiting family or friends or book holidays. Must be completely on his terms. • Recently has had to look after his Mum on occasional weekends. Tries to turn this into his holiday not doing chores or keeping her company. (Tries to go on his own so he can do this) • Won’t do any repairs until it is his idea. Won’t let someone be paid for painting he won’t do or help with. • Won’t deal with snoring as it doesn’t affect him. I want this.. • Someone who does not condone bad behaviours so as avoid getting involved ie actually cares how I am treated. Cares about children’s development. • Someone who actually cares about our family enough to want to be with us. • Honesty and openness as this is what he gets. An emotional connection • An occasional night out and holidays away. Joint planning of family freetime. • Cooperation in running and maintaining the house On the surface these seem like normal man problems but it is the degree. I don't think he realises how much he is loved and accomodated. I think he may be an oppositional type of person even when it is illogical. Feeling very upset esp. re children. The kids know if anything is said to them re behaviour, they can just blow up and he will not support me. Quite distressed and wondering if I am being unfair in expecting any more from him.

Just got a spam via pm too. Tried to post not sure if I was successful and just noticed this Alli

Hi all Just got spam for computer software via this forum from Inkey. Not impressed!! Alli

Hard to believe it is so reasonable for parents Alli

My positive is that I went to a very enjoyable seminar in town yesterday, went window-shopping afterwards and came home to find the washing on the line and husband baking with youngest!!!!!!! Normally , aw I won't ruin the moment!!!!!!! Delighted Alli

Hard to take in how they could come to a decision like that. Don't give up Thinking of you <'> Alli

Jonathan Some people like to put others down. this family sound nasty. Usually when people are nasty enough to behave like this, they don't allow themselves to consider if what they are doing is wrong and the effect that it is having. Try to steer clear, if they are ignorant enough to do this, they will never respond positively to you. Sometimes when people seem to be popular, they are not really. They have to organise lots of things in their house to feel popular. Sometimes people go to these events to see other neighbours and not the organiser! I hope I am making sense I have seen your posts and you sound like a lovely young man with lots to offer. Take care <'> Alli

Thanks for all your comments it really helps. The triggers are so unexpected. e.g. Do you have homework? (Not a big deal in this house) Please don't swear in front of 5 year old. Where are you going? Can't really post properly too stressed will do so when I'm more together. Thanks again jessie and Clare

Delighted for you Karen Alli

Have appointment with Psy soon. What if anything should I be asking him? So stressed can't think straight. Any links would be appreciated Thanks Alli

Yes it is a fantastic forum but I must say I had one v bad experience ... on the forum. It left me v upset .... I decided to ignore it and asked that person not to contact me again. The info support and advice on the site cannot be surpassed Thanks to all who give their time to make this possible Alli Hi Alli I have edited your post as some elements could possibly offend. I trust you will agree that the sentiment of your message has not been effected, and will appreciate the reasons for the edit Regards BD (on behalf of the mod/admin team)

My son refuses to ever help says its our job. Bedroom so bad things growing in it worse than any thing I've seen on TV. Flies into rage if you ask him to clean it or offer to do it. Alli

Thanks Jessie He has refused to apologise and is keeping out of the house a lot. Spoke to Psy and all he could suggest was calling police. No help with how to improve things etc. Alli

My son is 17 and is very verbally aggressive constantly critisizing swearing threatening everyone in the house. yesterday he physically attacked me has threatened to kill me thinks he has no problem except his wierd parents he is barely attending school and on the verge of being kicked out of school. He is so intelligent but he does no work. he refuses all help is overtly aggressive to any one who makes the smallest demand of him. I dont know if he should be living with us since he cannot seem to accept any boundaries he says he hates us He is quite paranoid and suspects everyones motives. He has a diagnosis of AS ADD ODD