tmf

Hi Hev Sending you lots of <'> <'> <'> . Hope things improve...hang on in there, u know we all understand. Take care xx

Hi Yes my ds goes swimming once a wk. We walk to and from school....which is a 40 min round trip. We went ice skating yesterday and he has said he wants to go to lessons. If i could get into the garden shed, he would be out on his bike everyday.....he just loves the outdoors, wind rain or shine.

Hi Essexgirl I think you are lucky enough to have a preschool who understands/can notice signs of sen. My sons preschool were useless they had absolutely no idea on sen. In fact if it wasn't for my ds starting a stutter and being refered by my HV i would never have known about his AS until a much later date. He was dx at 5, which is quite early compared to a lot in this area. The emotions you are feeling is quite normal, i cried my eyes out blaming myself for not going to parent and child mornings ect ect. The consultant was so nice and really got it through to me that it WAS NOT my fault, there was absolutely nothing i could do to prevent it. AS is hereditry. As for your mother, you are a woman in your own right and she has no right to put you down like that, you know in your heart you have done your best for your little lad and as a result have a fun loving healthy little boy as a result! There are some people in this world who just doesn't understand these 'labels' and my mum is one of them! In fact the way you describe your mum is my mum to a t so i sympathise with you there, i wish i could just tell my mum 'up yours' but i can't coz of how little she makes me feel! All i can advise is to go and see your HV, she is the one who will put you in touch with the consultants, but be warned waiting lists can be lengthy. The GP is useless (well here anyway) as they tell you to go and see the HV anyway. They can also arrange for the senco to go to the preschool. The senco is there for you as much as they are the preschool. They give advise on how to deal and work with little one so he can work to his best ability. Don't be affraid. Personally, he doesn't appear to have any as traits, he seems quite the opposite of how my son is and he has AS. He sounds more like my nt dd who is the same age as your ds. I know my dd does not have AS, i just know she is shy around people she doesn't know that well. Good luck with everything, and just remember when you feel like you need to let it out good or bad, this is the place to be as we all can understand! Sending you big <'> <'> <'> keep your chin up tmf xx

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Hows the hair hev???

dance OOps.....carerquie got in there before me!

My Son doesn't seem to realise there are more emotions than love or hate.....He either loves you or hates you, no happy medium, with him its black and white! I remember when he had just been dx and was playing me up being a right little pain Without thinking i just turned round and said to him ' just stop pushing me' It certainly stopped the behaviour, he took one long blank look at me then finally said ' i didn't push you mummy' Boy that was fun trying to explain what i meant!!

Hi Tilly Isnt it good to spend time with one of them on their own!! My asd son went to grandparents for 1/2 term so i could spend quality time with dd....it was lovely, we really clicked!

Hi, Can't help i'm affraid, carry on looking, pretty sure someone will be along soon to offer some valuable advice!

jungle

Hi, thanks for that info. I went armed with my new found knowledge I spoke to the union, just to see where i stand and apprently there is an even more updated guide to the disabilty discrimination act which they are going to look deeper into. The good news, my boss has found her heart! I sat down again with her yesterday and laid the cards on the table, and talk about accomadating.....she couldn't have been nicer or more flexable, and to top it off i am able to do flexi hrs in the school holidays! Talk about a huge relief lifted from my shoulders.....no longer have to rely on people to only let me down.

Yes it is, apparently they have a smilie chart so he can also go over and put on how he is feeling so the teacher can understand!. They finally seem to be realising what AS is and how to deal with the anger and frustrations that can arise with AS children.

Hi do any of you feel that since your childs dx that people who looked after your children let you down all the time. am constantly letting work down, and here i am with only 30 mins to go and my child care (supposedly friends) have let me down again. I don't know what to do, work won't change my hrs to suit, i can't give up work as i need a job and i won't leave my children with strangers! Just wondering what you guys did, as i justfeel so let down at the mo. We had an agreement about sharing child care, i had theirs and theyhad mine ect./....they just keep letting me down

.......and boy was i dreading it!! It wasn't half as bad as i thought it was going to be!! He is in the top group in maths, his reading ability is above average. Unfortunately his writing is poor and still has tendancies to go under the table when he gets angry, he's only 6! Best news of all......he's been accepted for extra help and will now get 11 hrs a wk...... all the hard work has paid off! Justed wanted to share with you all about ds as soooo happy about the extra support

As far as i can remember, my ds has been obsessed with lifts......we were on a ferry to France a couple of years ago and took poor mil up and down every single lift he could find. Although still with that obsession, he is also mad on Harry Potter, but over the years it has been Buzz Lightyear and Spiderman.

Hi My ds is exactely the same......i always ask who he played with a lunchtime and he always replied ' i played by myself'. After a few wks of the same reply, i asked him why he played on his own, his reply..'i don't have any friends because nobody likes me'. I just hugged and sobbed my heart out He looked at me blankly because i was crying. Since that day i do not question him, he likes to play by himself, in fact the school have set up a system where he has a choice of going out to play or going to the senco's office. He choses the office as does another child and they take turns playing on the computer. Apperently he goes outside for 5 mins for some 'fresh air' then goes and meets with this other boy. I think if i am honest, it bothers me more than ot does him. It breaks my heart when i hear all the other kids come running out asking is so n so can come to their house. I have tried the inviting to my house as well and like jb, the invitation was never returned and after a couple of visits kept making excuses. Hard as it is for me, i have learnt to accept that i can't force ds to be friends with someone, he will take it at his own pace, and if he only has 1 friend at school then i am happy for him.

Engine

monitor

hi Your little boy is doing things that my ds is (he is 6 and has AS). The teacher moaned about this behaviour because a ta went to get him out and he attacked her After discussing this with an expert from the berkshire autistic society, she explained all very well. I am not going to even attempt what she said as don't want to sound like i know something when in fact i know very little and am still learning myself! It was along the lines they are frustrated about something and that is how they deal with the frustration. If any1 attempts to touch whilst going thru this the result can be like a volcano errupting...in ds case he scratched the ta. Justone question, y do you have to wait a yr for dx?? My son was seeing a dr for a while and when no improvement suggested they thought it was AS (this was the june) by the time i went back in the august i t was a formal dx. When ds went back to school in sept he had 1-1 support (only an hr a day at mo, but fighting for a little more). If my understanding of the system is correct, the teachers have to do an iep (individual education plan) and have copies of the letter that confirms dx. With these together they then have to build a case study to prove the child needs extra support within in the school. During this evidence building an educational phsychologist will also come in and access child and give teacher a report of her findings to go in with the application. I don't know how that process differs from area to area, but thats how it works here. I hope i have helped in someway, it is the schools responsibilty to care for child at the end of the day while he is there, not yours. How new are you, have you been in touch with the national autistic society, they are full of useful info?? there web address is www.autism.org.uk. Good luck with this and your li' one tmf x

Hi I think you have described what i am feeling down to a t!! I have been like that, and justwhen i thought i was getting on top of things, it took one comment from my mother to push me back a few steps again. Anyway, i have started taking st john's wort, and believe it or not seems to be working. Don't get me wrong i am not back to my old self just yet, but i am able to face the school runs again. As this is a 40 min round trip walk i am finding the fresh air is also helping. My house is now back to being tidy (apart from today, i actually faced having company!!!) and beleive me, something as trivial as that it feels like i have achieved a big milestone. I still have a long way to go, but i can see that i have started to climb out of the pit that i had fallen into. I work also, and the pressures of the job are demanding and i feel if i took tht out of the equation, i would see a faster improvement at home....but hey needs must unfortunately. I have 3 wks of after tomorrow and boy do i need it as i broke down at work again yesterday. Anyway, you sound very much like me in the person you once were, and if that is true i sense a strong person and you will get out of this hole. If you are able, try the st johns wort, you may find it makes a small help as it has done for me. Wishing you well tmf x

I think the best thing of all it gives is hope......it really makes me forget about the meltdowns and bad days! Oh and by the way, he said it again tonight Really think i am starting to understand my little fella.....at last!

Hi Debs Thats a nice thought, and extremly kind of you! (removed see below) Best wishes tmf xx

Hi Thank you to all that responded, i thought it was only my mum that seemed a right pain in the posterior!! I was really shocked to see so many replies who had been through the same thing. Mothereve, you have hit it on the head, that's my mum and dad you have described to a t! I had no choice but to go round their house tonight as they pick the children up from school on a Tuesday as i work, and i dreaded it. My mum was fine, but my dad is being such a ###### child, he wouldn't speak to me at all. anyone was thinking i was asking for blood from them the way he is acting, all i asked was that they think about what and how they sapeak to him Parents!!!! Thank you all once again, it really made me feel better reading your replies.....well until i got to work this morning, it just took a 'r u alright' conversation and i just burst into tears and ended up telling them the whole situation Never mind, ds said he loved me again tonight, thats twice in now in 3 days tmf xx

I remember when ds was at nursery and they asked the children to stand on their toes.....thats exactly what my little boy did, stood on his left toes with his right!! I got called into the office saying he was being disruptive!!! Now if they had said tip toes he would have obliged.....bleedin teachers, even the senco told them they were making a mountain out of a mole hill. Glad to say he doesn't go there anymore and neither will dd!!

heard it before, isn't it hilarious!!