Haze

since my youngest was born we have never been taken serious that he was never meeting his milestones and now age 5 guess what they do admit his consulatnt he as needs support but yet again they fail no assesment no nothing iam sick to death of fighting the system why is it so hard he has enough evidence he his struggling hes even been assaulted and the police are currently involved but thats not enough for his consultant i have now accepted the proffesional are full of ###### and lie, i have accepted my life will always be 24hrs and ignorance towrds my son is always going to be there and we has a family have to struggle to survive the meltdowns , smashing, bashing and exclusions from school and my dd as to learn to cope with the bullying from the kids that my son naffs off hazexx

Hi i have been away for while my youngest yet again last friday was excluded for the fourth time since october 2011 he his in reception and the school are crafty they say hes sick to avoid ofsted but hes not when we collect him hes in the office eating. His consulatnt on his last appointment a few weeks ago agreeded to help and sort out what is going on she said adhd but thinks he has autisim and aspergers so yet agian were waiting while we mop up the mess school are cluless and refuse to start a referral and just boot him out . I am so mad and sick of it the education will blame us not the school so the next time hes excluded were refusing to send him back or better still collect him. hazexx

as warrior sorry to hear of your loss we to have only just laid our mum to rest four weeks and now we have no grandparents which is hard work no break for us my eldest is coping well but my youngest is still so angry he his huge confused so i have deicded with the doc to get a a person involved who helps children with autisim understand death it is good to hear you are dealing with in a positive way hazex

my little one is five and a bit and we have a toilet issue he hates the smell and refuses to clean himself and wont go at school how to do get round this problem the school nurse suggested ignore great are you going to fix the walls after hes thrown everything at them to get our attention hazexx

Hello to all i have only just got our diagnosis for aaron adhd and aspies and in reception we did tell his consultant who was horrified she was so angry and agreeded the school my son attends was discriminating him by excluding him twice when if they had placed the right care he would of not headbutted the child in question and on the second time threw a book at the teacher. We have also requested a letter like yourselves and they are still doing this. When he was excluded the first time they said he was sick only now that his consultant spoke to school they actually excluded him so now ofsted are investigating the school. Here is what our camhs said a school is only discrimating a child when there is a medical diagnosed condition and the care they recieve for this is being neglected for example if they dont show aaron change in classroom to stop him getting distressed and just do it and then exclued him when he has a meltdown and becomes aggresive they have discrimated him because they know change effects his disability. Hazexx

I did watch this programme with my hubby and were in tears we have just had our son diagnosed adhd and aspies and probably dyslexia and we were horrified at the way the staff floored joey in school if that was my son doing this action would of sent him into further distress and a severe meltdown i understand no one wants to be hit but surely not this way and im sorry but i wanted to smack his parents there is always a way im sorry but it was clear communication was missing and to again floor him sit on him and then pour water down his throat was surely dangerous OMG im now so worried is this how staff restrain a austistic child if so then the first teacher or person to do this to my son i will personally charge with assault truly shocking this did not show autisim in a good way. Autisim is bad with the meltdowns but there is many good points and laughter and i think a programme needs to show the bad and the GOOD hazexx

I have thread called " I GIVE IN " so today we had our sons Aaron app rushed through due to his difficulties heres what happeneds A full apology for failing to support and diagnose going into school on monday next week to do a full assesment and to reinstate his IEPS and start a action plan and will also see to his older sister who is suffering bullying as a result of his behaviour and will educate the staff in autisim training diagnosed adhd and aspies but will do full assesment for his records and his finding support groups and play centers for us to meet other families and to relax getting support for us at home so we all can manage him when we have visitors and sleepovers regular 4 month checks no cancelling helping us with any adaptions needed at home as he keeps locking himself in rooms and disability forms which i would like to note right now it is the last thing im bothered about we currently have a open police case open due to him being assaulted by the neighbours kiddies so she read the letter and is meeting with the family when we go to mediation to explain why he behaves in such a fashion and beating him is not an option Even more shocking we used to attend church but stopped due to aaron singing beautifull full belt and slapping so my dd was on the verge of losing her high school place next year it is were family go and she was heart broken we tried going without him but he would go into meltdown if one of us left so the consultant in front of us notified the education of the situation and now they have agreeded my dd will still qualify for a place i cant wait to tell her writing this iam still in shock 5yrs of hell and a huge weight as been lifted our little man ( SON ) finally he his getting the care he need's and support we can start to move forward Hazexxx

I have a 5yr old and we are still learning about aspies and we have just relised nows hes older the meltdowns and demands get worse and object throwing he getting worse. I met and still am some fab friends on here and have got me through tough times but i to im struggling with school runs he will do anything to be there on time and if meltdown starts well duck he will chuck anything to stop us from taking him. We have refused to give in and are now showing him pictures of how we feel when has smashed trashed and bashed someone or something and it seems to be working fingers cross, what scares us how it could be when he gets to puberty hazexx

Hi to all my daughter is my angel without her at school he would not attend full stop we currently have the police involved as he was beaten up yes beaten even the police were stunned by neighbours kiddies and there auntie is the school liason officer and when i politely refused for her to be involved to protect aaron from the kiddies getting at him in school all hell broke out the head said we were being difficult despite the police saying a family member could be a risk and protect their own family if a fight broke out in school. When they asked my dd the head interveiwed her in a room on his own my hubby flipped and kindly reminded him the risk he was placing himself in. He refused to listen to her and said in school they have to protect the staff so i replied what does that mean dragging and grabbing and yelling. The school have been reported in the past by other parents for the way in which staff deal with discipline if i had know this at the start i would gone else were. I love my son to bits and have polited asked his teacher often not to be so rude and forcefull when dealing with aaron as will result in a meltdown even i would get annoyed with her. His teacher has said he needs a firm hand and i replied explain and be carefull how you speak well if he at risk or others then he needs to move and yes we get hold of him this is why i know have some friends watch him as dont trust the school. ill keep you updated Hazexx

OMG sesley you are so right i never thought of it like that and now thinking that i can see him in whole new light so ill keep you updated as for his new school it is 2yr waiting list but as we have the police involved after he got a beating of the kiddies next door we should skip that i pray, He his sleeping at the mo we have learned the tele at bedtime is the way to relax him. He his years ahead in maths but not literacy but we teach him total opposite to school he knows what his coming next we allow him to break and we know his triggers they dont and wont allow us to teach hence the move. Hazexx

Hi Sally Before aaron went to mainstream he did have ieps as they recognised he struggled socialy and emotionaly and was doing well now in reception mainstream it as gone down hill i stand there some days and look at him and think what the hell have been beemed up. He his most defiant not handling school we think it is because there always changing the class around and he hates change and is being forced to sit and learn and again hates it we never dothis at home hence the clash. When he his at home we allow learning time then break then learning , when it comes to play with others we show him share and show by visual cues how upset people get if he thumps them or wrecks the whole game. The school clearly have no idea what so ever about autisim it is ok saying im a teacher but autisim is different they see evrything different hence learn different and the teacher needs to operate two systems one for the class and the autistis child. We are in the process of applying for a place at main stream school that as a inclusive disability eduaction programe so able bodied and disabled children learn side by side learning of one another. Hazexx

My youngster aaron is 5 and in his own fashion lets you know how is day as been and recently he disclosed if he doesnt stay still then his favourite toy is removed but he can still see it but not get it and his placed in a corner between a cupboard and a wall looking to the wall as punishment. I knew my instict said he wasn't happy so iam now going to address this with the head and also ask him why he his often grabbed witnessed by his sister and friends she was so upset she was screaming in school to get to him to hug him role on mondayxx HAZEXX

Hello all we have been away recharge thank you for replying it is great to know im not alone to AS Warrior thank you you made relise he has only his mum and dad and we have to dig deep and carry on to jeannea we have been offered ritalyin but i refused i love my sons personality he his when not in fire mode truly cute and so intelligent the words he splurts out are outstanding.To cmuir and all please i ask you not to stop replying for what im going to say because as i mum of two i knew my youngest was different something just wasn't right i knew and because i pesterd the g.p the social services got involved and silenced me they said until the consultant says there is a diagnosis then no parent can assume there child is medical different. All allegations were dropped and no apologie given but it as left me espeacilly scared iam scared to death to ask for help hence why iam so tired he as got an appointment coming up as he got a slap off the neighbours kiddies police are involved so i cant say much. So we shall see if his consultant still thinks hes a youngester like any other. He gets into trouble bless due to mis reading social and emotional cues. Aaron my youngest is back at school this week and all over the place for us were used to it for others they look at us and run hazexx

Thank you for replying after me and the hubby read your replys we went and got info on aspergers and he admitted yep i do fit the apsies traits but here is what i then got thinking if there is a faulty gene in us could the same rule apply like epilepsy for example, in my family we all have epilepsy and those who have not got it know that if they get severe virus , allergic reaction and head trauma of any kind then epilepsy will occur.This was the case in five of my family members they only developed epilepsy after a virus and injections and a stroke. So do me and the hubby carry a faulty gene that when such a event like mmr jabs and then a reaction or a bad virus or injury does this trigger the gene to wake and effect the development of the brain hence like my son he doesn't meet milestones he sturggles emotional and socially due to the brain development or the faulty gene im really interested. Here is something also we noticed we thank you all so much my dd as always struggled with friends and eating and routine slightly hates social situations and is under a consultant for it and i to think maybe i have a trait of apsies as i have ocd when it comes to routine, don't like some food if to runny and i hated school. HAZEXX

I wanted to ask can aspergers run in families as iam starting to see my sons behaviour in my hubby so much, he hates crowd's, when in conversation he is so blunt it can come across sometimes as rude, routine, wont accept anyones view but his own,as friends but cant be bothered he prefers his own, mood swings or his just getting old LOL i would love to hear from you HAZEXX

Hi Jeanne My son got a severe virus at birth and then he had is first jabs and oh god i thought he's not my son what the hell. His carmness had changed into a raging bull, he was more irritable and sleep had changed. I have just posted and that may help you. Now he's 5 we has a family are so aware he is autistic without doubt the way he speaks ,behaves,social and emotional he struggles so much and it is not just him it is mummy and daddy and big sis have also changed due to him. We do accept his virus played a role in his condition weather it all to blame or not were not sure and yes i do blame the jabs it was after that he was ill and even the doctor stopped the second dose due the change in him and sickness. I as his mummy im not coping with it i cry a lot at the moment i blame myself hugely the older he's getting the worse he's getting i guess that is down to new challenges and hormones and school. I will never give him up we adore him so much when hes not in a rage hes so funny and loving which is why it is heartbreaking as people judge him by his bad side. People we speak to all say the mmr is a factor in autisim and then if a virus is caught that seems to seal it. Aaron my little is a maths genius and forget it when comes to literacy he cant put pen to paper. Hates routine or staying still, How do you manage your little one when out and about, it looked bad at weekend when he had a outburst and the only way to get away safely from the game was to hold his legs to avoid getting a kick in the face and my hubby lifted him out but still got a smack in the nose ouch, once aaron had carmed down he looked at daddy and cried and said " OOO DAD WHY HAVE GOT A LUMPY NOSE DO YOU NEED A BAG OF PEAS" i hope others reply to share their veiws, happy easter Hazexx

I feel so ###### i am so tired i have a 5yr who is going through a diagnosis of adhd and aspies and we have noticed a major change in him now he's getting older and mainstream school and its so hard. We have no family as they live away and our parents have died, his consultant from the age 2 said ill wait till hes older as it could be toddler issues OMG now seeing him there is no way she can say he's ok. We love him madly but get so frustrated when he's beating the hell out of us and throwing everything in sheer frustration and as his mummy and daddy we cant get through its heart breaking to see him so mad over the slightest thing. This weekend we did a easter ball with national trust and one minute ok then shouting and wailing and things get thrown and fists fly. Me his mummy iam so heart broken i have lost my faith i dont know how to get through to him or help i cry in sheer anger why. The change can be over laces not tied right, blue everything almost has to have blue in it, sights and sounds, texture and people it is like having a bomb with the pin pulled you never know when he's going to blow. We have no support for his behaviour and now his older sis as been excluded from her friends due to his outburst's. School that is another headache until now i never knew how frustrated as a parent you get with the system. How do you manage your little ones Hazexx

my youngster is getting more violent in meltdowns he his 5 and a not tiny and he has huge meltdown yesterday i came off worse split lip and busted nose the dirt on his shoe started if off hates dirt. I am a novice with aspergers but iam noticing the older he's getting he getting more powerfull and his meltdowns are more agressive and i love to bit's but do worry hazexx

Parents evening this week and after it i thought of asking the teacher do you have splinters on your ###### after sitting on it for so long, Here's the report he my little one is hyper, loves routine and functions at best if kept hates change easily distracted and angry and refuses to share is literacy is below average but the positive is his above two years for maths and computers he his a wizz. Im sat there looking at her amazed and said you can breath. Her reply i bet you have a large stock of wine at home my reply was yes but i know my son and what is best for him you obivously don't bye and off i went. Fab i knew when he started main stream school we would have problems and here we go what do you think and how best to tackle it until his consultant will ok him for aspergers at ten then we have no support and school are cleary sinking fast hazexx

My son is in reception and there as been some queries im stuck how to approach His homework he has to do a story by putting pictures in the right order and then do a sentence underneath, HELP he has done the picture side but instead of right to left he's done the opposite and his confused why word's need to be together. The school he attend's is like a maze you go through one class to get to the next and all the kiddies live near each other and most are related and my eldest is in yr5 and im getting kiddies saying he run's around co-operates when he want's and his excluded from the other's most of the time and his name is alway's been shouted accross the room. I beleive what the kid's are saying because the parent's are saying the same thing and two day's ago whilst the class was working he banged his head with another child and school have sent him home once for beinging sick but he told daddy i was loud i didn't won't the naughty chair. We are new to apsies and still waiting for a second approval and don't now how to approach this hazexx

Hi Sally yes it was fabricating illness but all allegation's were dropped after no evidence could be found. My .eldest was under camms for eating due to stress and one visit he decided after an argument during the appointment to pick the roof of a doll's house up and clobbered her in the nose her consultant just sat there documenting how i reacted. Trust me this is true so i had to give her first aid then discipline him for the incident. Then i shouted at the consultant who was still sat there for christ sake can have some help. This was disscused at meeting and there answer was he was upset again all documented. If i wasn't so tired i would sued them for slamming our parenting capabilites. Mind you our local trust is alway's getting it wrong and then sued. We are alway's being watched despite being cleared and the one who is suffering is him. It is case of power parent agaisnt the consultant and who is going to back down first and because we won't they brought in the social and we are not the first during the year we met another four families going through the same thing. As for private treament it get's you know where they just delay it further and eventually you pay private again. This is the reason i came onto the forum to get advice and help.

Hi JCB Reading your thread apart from the toliet issue our five just behaves the same way we have got diagnosis of asperger's but were we live it need's two to agree, Stupid i know. We struggled and still do but have learned if he want's blue pj's then that's fine, with food as long as he his eating then we live him to his own method no mixing texture is key just him keep to five a day fruit and veggies. Our little bashes his sibling just be understanding to him but let him know he hurt them and leave it. We learned fast keep talking for a long time he just toddle off. He does't read body cues well so we had to clearly and simple show him. Bedtime be firm we do and as long he stay's there and asleep try and make his room his space what i mean is my little one like dionsaurs and colour blue so we decorated and itemised all i his favourite thing's and keep it the same way no change with ANYTHING even car's in a line and teddies in a row and finally let people know he has own private space but reward him for allowing people in and sharing. My little one find his room a place of comfort when he's had a bad day or just want's me time. One good tip we can tell you one instruction at time again my son goes awol if there is to much information to process. Praise and praise discover his hobby you'll love how get's in grossed and gives you a lesson we know dino's back to front almost.

Thank you all for the swift reply's Sally and cmuir and darkshine, Firstly i will look into the info posted and we thankyou now the school he attend's are mainatined by themselves in other word's they are not council funded, next as i explained all the kiddies are neighbour's and are close by and my daughter's freind's have disclosed information on him. To help give you an understanding you have to go through one class to get to another 1970's build so all the kiddies get to see each other all day. This is how it as been witnessed he sit's next to the exit in assemblies, was seen head banging the wall whilst rocking yes i agree i was horrified. Head butt's the kiddies on odd times no explanation given but got firm ear bashing i wanted to slap his teacher and when he was sent home he had earache and that's not the first i refused on the first time they tried kicking him out. We have found another school and does cater for autisim. I need to explain also we got into serious trouble keep taking him back to the doctor's the social got involved despite no evidence they argued we was to back down and allow the consultant to do her job. A year it took us to be cleared of all allegation's which was not backing down that he was different and they had witnessed it on nuerous occasion's .Due to my hubby working it was me that collected him and took him to the doc's explaining that he was getting into mischeif, hated flying the sound of the engine etc. So now we are terrified and school are not telling us everything in case i march to the doc's and demand answer's. Where we live money is key and this is the most frustrating part we are having a center of excellance unit bulit for all aspect's of autisim with every kind technology needed but we can access it. He did have grommit's and now as hearing so finely tuned it's on a level of a bat. We are stumped and at the mercy of the consultant.