jomum

That's interesting. My son has been tricky the past week or so. They have been out of their routine in school as they have been practising for a play and also have had changes of teacher. The run up to Xmas makes them all a bit 'hyper'. I have had 'pulling down his own trousers' incidents in school recently when he has been relatively calm before this. Also he has made quaking noises while the rest of them were doing their lines. @Funny' for the other children but most annoying for everyone else! So I sympathise! x

My son also did this as a toddler and nursery age. Once he stuck a crayon in his poo from his bum and smeared it all over his toy garage. He also did this on his bed. Another time he pooed on the carpet and stamped in it in his wellies! It was a horrible phase, but he is now at school and has grown out of that now. He was only fully toilet trained just before he started school. It gave me no end of worry but he is progressing al the time. Hopefully for you it will be a phase which you will just have to bear for a while. None of my tactics seemed to work but luckily it just passed. I find that one phase / obsession ends and another appears. You also get good days and not so good days. Remember when he starts nursery, it is not his fault or yours. He is an individual and doesn't HAVE to be at the same stage as the other children. When my son started nursery he used to go into the toilets and flood them as he was obsessed with the taps and water. He actually did this at school too. He also blocked the toilet up with loo paper. I just had to keep explaining things to him in a simple manner, but even this does not override the urge. When he has to touch something or fiddle with it he will! I just tell myself everyone has their own personality which comes through in many different and 'interesting' ways! Jo xxx

My son knows what the social rules are but just can't handle them as his impulses override what he knows. His impulses do not connect with what he knows he should be like socially. For example, he will be fidgety at the school dinner table, clank his cutlery (and even take his shoes and socks off!) . He knows he should keep still and concentrate on his dinner but he does not seem to have a 'calm mind' unless his body is active. Dinner times don't hold his attention when he'd rather be investigating more interesting things. He recently blocked the school toilet up with paper just on impulse. He knows it will block up, but he just can't control his urges. I'm hoping he gets to manage himself better soon! He's only just started school and has his first school IEP soon so we shall see! xx

I agree with Jonathan. You are a great Mum because you care so much. When I get sideways glances from people I feel like being naughty myself and I get the children singing a nice loud song with me to blot them out!

... and if he'd strangled himself with the rubber strip, then they'd really have something to worry about. Jo x

Thanks so much, everyone, for this. You have all confirmed exactly my thoughts. I will not let them bully me. Your support has given me the confidence to stick to my guns on this. Jo. xxx

I expect that the NHS wants to keep the fish oil on prescript a bit 'hush hush' as everyone will want them. May be a good idea to ask about it. I heard that the government were thinking of giving little ones a fish oil supplement at school.

Thanks Jen, that's what I thought. The owner is a bit of a hard headed money maker.

Smelly

My son has been going to Nursery for over 2 years and the staff are only too aware of his impulsive nature. He only has two sessions left before Summer, then he will be starting school in September. He goes to an 'opportunity group' one session a week. The Nursery have been fully supportive of his differences and have assured me that they could look after him. The staff at his nursery called me aside yesterday, waving a pice of rubber that my son had pulled from the door frame (the seal) ,and told me that they have let a lot of things go over the two years, but we'd be billed for this damage. I just raised my eyebrows, since I was not talking to the owner of the nursery. She had got her staff to do the dirty work for her. Now, I believe that since they know his nature by now, that it is not unreasonable for me to refuse to pay for this damage, since we are paying them to have him in their care while he is there. It's not my fault he wasn't properly supervised. Anyway, a rubber seal can be pushed back into the door frame. What does anyone think about this? I don't want to leave on a bad note, but I feel strongly that I have been paying them for a service that they said they could live up to. Roll on school! Thanks. J x

My son will be four this May and still has problems in the day, so there's no way I am even considering getting stressed about nights yet. x

How wonderful. Many congratulations. Bluuuuuuuueeeeeeeeee! xxx

Luckily my Mum doesn't tell me what to think but grandparents were brought up in a different age which makes things difficult for them to understand. With my mum I have talked and talked about every little oddity in behaviour in my son and told her about every single conversation I've had with professionals to help her understand how I'm feeling. She just thinks it's his personality, but whatever her reaction I have found it theraputic for myself to just talk and get it out of my system. Your Mum probably doesn't realise how stressful the whole situation is for you as she can just go home. You have to live with all those feelings of frustration. Good luck and remember to trust your own instincts whatever people say.

Our boy destroys things just to see what happens. It drives me crazy as we have ripped wallpaper, ripped books, toys irrepairably pulled apart. If he feels the urge he just does it. AAGH!

My son also gives a running cmmentary on everything he does. He also persists saying something till he gets an answer. As annoying as it is, I have come to accept that's just what he does and it's his personality.

I am nervous about my son's referral too. I don't know how long it will get to make an appointment, but I intend to keep all the reports and observations the Nursery have made about him. I will try to jot down things that pop into my head to make a list of his traits. I worry that because he appears 'normal' in a lot of situations, I won't be taken seriously. I have a tendency to 'cover up' for him which is a natural reaction as every mum wants their child to appear as everyone else's. If I have a list, this will make it easier for me to highlight his difficulties to get the right dx. Jo x

Wow, that's a really interesting thread. My son acts like an angel in public situations generally, so poeple think he's just naughty if he shows certain traits. At home and nursery when he's relaxed, those differences show. This is why I've been hesitant about getting medical advice as I have thought I would be fobbed off. Funny about colours. I think of days of the week in colurs. Jo x

Oh, thanks for that. I may go to the GP then for a referral. The school he is going to is very supportive so I think he will be ok. The head teacher has assured us that he will not be labelled as naughty but it would be good to get another opinion. I am finding that the Nursery tell me one thing, then my Mum says, oh, that's just his nature, there's nothing wrong with him. As you know, it's quite stressful living with it, so it would be good for someone to tell me it's not my fault he's like he is! Thanks for letting me know your experiences. That's been very helpful. Jo x

[ Thanks Jill, that's very helpful. Jo x

Thanks Jill, that's really useful. Can you clarify what dx, IEP and SALT are? I will definitely get the ball rolling now then I think. Our Nursery are only helpful to a certain extent. Jo x