Just Jo

Signed with pleasure.....

My son walked in from school and said "whats the matter mum" they have no understanding of how you feel,its part of the condition... My son has gone from throwing things, smashing things, kicking my car and breaking anything in site, now he hits himself in the head so hard when he gets angry...... I got so desperate, calling the police was one of the hardest things i done, they had to strap him up and took him off in a police car.....It ripped me apart and must have been horrific for my son. He now hits himself really hard in the head, which is so so sad as i cant comfort him. They just need support on how to cope with how they are feeling. I just cant seem to find the help If you need to chat i will give ya my number X

My heart goes out to you, i have this with my son, i have had to call the police so many times, the first time they arrested and charged him with ABH, this broke my heart, he didnt understand why i rang them. This is now a weekly thing with my son. Last night the my little 10 year old daughter called the police because he was so so so angry, he ran towards me and went to hit me, i too lost it and grabbed his jumper, i know this was wrong of me,but i lost it. The police came and said what they always say, he needs help and support... can i get any No. Please someone tell me how to deal with this anger.. Does medication really help

Dont worry too much, my son is nearly 13 and joined and left every club there is...... Your certainly not alone in your thinking....... My son is happier doing things with those closest too him. I take him for a kick about, i brought a trampoline.... If he is happy then i am happy.... Thinking of you <'> <'> <'>

Dont feel stupid...... Its taken me 10 years to work things out.......

What was his last lesson that day..... maybe he associates the end of that school day with your partner being there....... they do have amazing memories..... Just a thought...

I thought it was only me until i joined this site the other week.........

My son is nearly 13 and he spends loads of time in his room. He feels safe up there with all his bits and bobs.. He doesnt spend much time with me either..... So i go up there with him and get him to teach me how to play on his playstation. or get him to put his best music on and dance. If he wants me to go, i say ok babe, you know im here if you change your mind. Talk about things he loves doing.... in time he will ask you to come to his room.... I really do know how you feel..... its does get easier..... <'>

The best thing i have learnt is that we can change things. I truly beleive the hardest thing is to learn to understand our child, except the way they think and listen, love and cuddle them every day.. We cant change them..... (and if we could... would we really have them any other way)

Dont feel guilty........... its not your fault..... my Aspergers son is a result of Rape....... but its not my fault.... It took my years to beleive this.... Keep positive babe.... <'> <'> <'> <'>

I always give my son plenty of time to get ready, i always say we are leaving earlier than we are, my son like yours spends ages in the shower, doing his hair, getting dressed. This usually means we are late, what i try to do is to stay calm and just give him the time he needs. If i try to hurry him up he wont do anything, he will get abusive and hurt himself or smash things up. My daughter does not come out of her room until he has left for school. I have moved all the clocks in the house 10mins forward..... ha ha naugthy i know. I find it very frustrating when he takes so long to do things.... I try to ignore the bad behaviour and really go over the top when he is being good..... although he looks at me strange, i know he loves being praised. From experience giving him the time always helps. He does say some terrible things to me, but i try not to take it personally. Its part of the condition, they cant help it. If my son swears or shouts i deduct 20p from his pocket money, if he says sorry within 10 seconds he gets it back..... It does work,but takes some time. Im here if you need me....Jo PUSH TO GET HELP IN SCHOOL...........

Thanks for your support and replies. I have today rang SNIP, and they have been very helpful, still trying to get through to IPSEA and will keep trying. I have sent a letter to the school today to see how far along they are with the Statement. I have a BIG meeting with the school soon and have asked the Educational Phy to attend along with Social Services, who will be taking notes. This site has been an amazing help to me thank you. Will let you know how i get on..... and will keep trying IPSEA.....xxxx

I would say no...... because she has eye contact and expresses her feelings. Let me know how you get on Jo

Ringing IPSEA tomorrow, feeling more positive now... thanks

Thank you soooooooo much Annie......Will get on to them Monday.... Jo xx

My son was only diagnosed in feb. He is now 12, when i tell him off he also just laughs, i find this really difficult to deal with, i try to ignore it, but he gets angry when i ignore him. I dont know what to do, he gets so angry hitting and breaking things and swears and says really nasty thing........ what do i do when this happens, he has done wrong, so do i punish him or not. How do i deal with it

Thanks for your reply..... they have been trying to statement him since October of last year, he is on IEP's, a Educational Phychologist has assessed him. They school do not except that his behaviour is due to his condition and treat him and rude, stroppy, agressive and naughty. they said "we have other aspergers who dont act like this" It has taken me 10 years to get my son diagnosed, it was Feb of this year i got it. He has always been treated as naughty, surely this late diagnoses has been horendous for my son. When he is class and a teacher shouts at him and tells him off, he shouts back and swears, then on-call is called and he refuses to move or talk, sometimes he walks off kicking or hitting walls, teachers then follow him telling him off, he was pulled by his school bag by the deputy head the other day. Some teachers tell him to walk away to calm down, others tell him off for this. He just has no structure, as all staff deal with him in a different way. I have had so many meetings with the school and tried to explain his condition and all i get back is that "his behaviour is not acceptable and they he should be setting a example to the other 1199 student in the school". He has been out of school more that he has been in school.... At home he is getting worse because of this. Im really not coping. I have got a meeting at the school next week, who could i contact to come with me and explain that he acts this way because of his Aspergers...... I feel they blame me as i am a single parent..

Just joined this site, and its so helpful to read what you have said...... now i feel im not alone.My 12 year old son too is very agressive and also has tried to kill himself. He gets extremely angry when i ask him to do the smallest of things. I try to stay calm,but not amount of taking to him seems to help..... I just seem to make it worse, i do try to walk away but that make him worse. I dont know what to do anymore. Im considering pulling him out of school, getting a statement for him is still continuing after 18 months..... I feel the school have made him worse. He has gone from a child who used to "Shut donw" to a child that now screams, swears, breaks things, hits wall, kicks windows and harms himself by punching himself in the head to bad... However, teachers have called him stupid,silly, moody and stroppy. and the Head Mistress has said if his behaviour doesnt change he is out of that school. It breaks my heart to read that others are going through this..... My 10 years old daughter is terrified of him, although im not scared of him,i do feel that as he gets older and stronger i will be. I just wish there was someone i could ring when things happen so i know that i am helping him and not making things worse... Rant over......

My son is 12 and has Aspergers Syndrome, he is constantly being excluded due to his condition, he is in the process of getting a Statement. He is in a mainstreme school and quite frankly none of the teachers seem to understand that his behaviour is due to his Aspergers, he is getting shouted at by teachers which make him angry and shout back. He used to totally "Shut down" and he got punished for that, over the last year he has become so frustrated that he swears,kicks things and hits himself in the head brusing himself. He has got excluded for this. However, they issue after school detentions for him..... My question is..... should he attend after school detentions. Most of the time he doesnt attend and its not taken any further.

This information was very useful. My sons school have been ringing me to collect him so many times over the last 18 months and i have always picked him up. After reading this i wrote to the school stating it was illegal......Ouch the Head was displeased i knew this information and i no longer collect him from school... Thank you thank you.