bid

I can't get the drop down to work! As soon as I try to click on anything in it, it just disappears altogether... Bid ETA: it let me do it successfully just now, so I was able to click on 'messenger' and could see that my PMs are still there. But when I tried to do it agin, it went back to disappearing when I try to click on 'messenger'!! ETA again: and now sometimes it stays long enough to allow me to click on 'messenger', but nothing happens...

I'm just copying a query I posted in the techie forum, as it appeared halfway down the page and I'm not sure anyone will see it!!

I have just deleted my notifications list as it was really long...but now I can't seem to access my actual PMs?? I usually empty my in-box of messages first, then delete the notifications...but does deleting the notifications first also delete the messages too?? Bid

Hi Justine, I would also try to avoid making this into something it probably isn't. Take a kind but firm approach, because if you focus too much on this you may well end up colluding with or even creating the problem you are worrying about. Good lcuk, Bid

I've remembered a strategy that was suggested to us when my son was a bit older, about 17 or so, by his CAMHS psychiatrist. I guess it's a form of back-chaining. Talk with him about where he wants to be (perhaps in his case in the RAF? Or living on his own. Or just having more money, etc). Then ask him what he thinks he needs to do to get to where he wants to be. Then you can start to discuss how he thinks he can make this happen. I know it sounds simplistic written down like that, but I think the idea is to stop him feeling in typical teenage style that the adults are 'telling him what to do', and rather to encourage him to take ownership of his situation and to think things through realistically. I would also make it visual too, by writing things down as you talk so that he isn't faced with a barrage of 'talk', but can actually 'see' what he is thinking and saying. HTH Bid

Justine that seems an awful lot to pay. We have the telly, broadband and phone from the same provider, and ours comes to approx £150 for 3 months. Have you tried talking to them to see if there is a cheaper package? They are always bringing out new offers, and we saw one advertised by a rival company and when we told our provider we were thinking of switching, they matched that offer. We also pay monthly which spreads the cost. We are with Virgin. Bid

Hi Esty My son was out of school for 6 months when he was 14/15, not as a school refuser but signed off on medical grounds because he had a breakdown. He was very unwell and regressed into his autism, but I still perservered with a visual daily timetable for him, detailing what time he had to get up, what time slots he could go on the computer, meals and bedtime. Of course, he didn't follow it perfectly and we had good and bad days, but it was there as a non-negotiable part of his daily life. I also did my best to get him out of the house once a week. After 3 months he had 4 hours of home tuition a week in two subjects, which he was expected to do. I agree with the other posters: if he can cope with Air Cadets, then it would suggest that he can cope with some kind of structured teaching too. I do know how very hard it can be with a young person at home. But you are still the adult in the family dynamics. Whatever he does in the future, and certainly if he joins the RAF, he will be expected to follow routines and do as he is told. As your son isn't unwell, then I also think he should be expected to be responsible for certain chores, and it is never too early to build on independent living skills such as doing his washing, making a simple lunch and so on. Good luck.

Sorry Wheeler, posted in the wrong thread! Bid

My mum had paperwork to fill in about my childhood and development that was sent in with my questionnaires, and then she also attended my clinic appointment. Bid

Welcome to the forum I was diagnosed at CLASS too, when I was 41. Bid

Oh well done!! <'> Bid

Lovely, lovely lad! Shed a tear or two myself. Whole series has been a hoot...some wonderful characters, especially Mr Drew the Deputy Head. We live near Harlow. Bid

"What is pi? Where did it come from??" Bid

Welcome to the forum In many ways you are very like my dad. He had a successful academic career as a lecturer in special needs and social work, but had always been seen as extremely eccentric which did cause difficulties professionally and personally, although my parents were married for over 50 years. It was when he started reading about ASD after my eldest son was diagnosed that he began to recognise himself and his difficulties. I have always said that I'm sure the railway fanatic Tony Attwood mentions meeting on a train in the foreward to his Guide to AS was probably my dad!! For my dad and the rest of us, this was enough to help us all have a better understanding of him and his life. So he never felt the need to pursue a dx, although at the end of his life he was identified as having what was termed 'mild autism' during mental health assessments. He was also extremely close to my son and a huge support to us as we went throught the dx process with him. At the suggestion of my younger son's paediatrician I was assessed for AS myself, and was diagnosed when I was 41. I think Justine makes very good points in her post. Bid

Oh dear!! Leeds, I have a formal dx of AS from a very well-respected clinic specialising in adult dx... BUT I don't wear my underwear/night clothes all day, I'm a very laughy person, I don't speak in a monotone and I have been in charge of the family finances for the last 20 odd years because I'm better at it than my DH and I check the balances online every day, etc, etc, etc!! Please go back and re-read the section of your diagnostic report that you quoted in an earlier post...the specialist is answering the precise question you are asking in this thread!! Bid

Well, I think your highlighted section answers your question for you!! Things like poor hygiene, wearing night clothes, etc, are very much secondary, and as your highlighted quote says, they may or may not be consistent with dx. You could equally say that being excessively neat and being obsessed with hygiene are traits of AS. Your difficulties with abstract thinking and central coherance, and the focussing on tiny details, are far more characteristic of autism than hygiene and clothes preferences, which will always differ from individual to individual. You have a formal dx, from a very well-respected centre...so I think you can feel confident that you do have AS <'> Bid

Well, to be honest, I don't really know where you have got some of your ideas from!! Why on earth do you think it is an AS trait to spend the day in your nightwear?? Or that everyone with AS has poor standards of hygiene?? Or only speaks in a monotone?? To be completely honest, to me this seems like an odd mish-mash of stuff you've read, maybe on-line?? I think you are over-analysing the whole thing about initiating conversations/not socialising. I'm not quite clear...do you have a formal dx of AS? If you do, and you had a thorough assessment by someone experienced in adult dx, then I think you can be confident that you do have AS. Bid

I have a formal, NHS dx of AS...and I laugh (alot), I'm often jolly and bouncey, I love clothes, make-up, jewellery and SHOES, I've been married for 18 years, I have 4 kids, I work in a full-time, responsible job leading a small team... Oh, and the only facial characteristic I have is a bit of a large nose...but that's my dad's fault! Maybe I don't have AS either!! The only thing that worries me, is that you say you lied to the psychologist...why would you do that? Bid

Well, in my experience, people with autism can be beautiful, plain or downright fugly...in other words, exactly like the rest of the human race!! And no, we don't have 'special, beautiful eyes' either!! My own thoughts are that this is a mix of two things really: I think there can be a certain autistic 'expression', which has more to do with a lack of eye contact, etc. And then the rest is down to fond parents, 'cos we all think our own kids are garjuss, and quite rightly so! There are facial characteristics for things like Fragile X, which presents with autistic characteristics, but that's a very specific chromosomal abnormality. Bid

No worries Bid

Oh dear, I'm a woman! For me my dx meant I realised I wasn't dysfunctional, inadequate and abnormal as I had felt for the majority of my life, I was just autistic. So I guess, making sense of who I am. Around the time of my dx, although not as a result of it, I had 9 months of counselling, with a counsellor who was experienced at working with people with AS. This was hugely beneficial. After my dx I was also assessed for sensory integration disorder, which again put much of my previous life experience into perspective. For example, I have prosopagnosia, but before I had no idea why I perceive faces the way I do, or have problems recognising my children, etc. I haven't really needed any further support. I work at a residential special school, so my team has a good understanding of autism, plus my husband is a teacher at a special school too. So my life is centred around special needs...I imagine if I worked in another career things might be very different. Bid

Hi and welcome I am 45, married and got my dx when I was 41. I also have an adult son who has AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia. Bid

You can also find independent schools that specialise in things like dyslexia, dyspraxia, etc, without going for the full-on HFA/AS specialist placements. They tend to have fees within the norm for independent 'mainstream' schools, whereas independent special schools for HFA/AS have funding bands that far exceed what any individual could afford, hence the need for LA/SS funding dependent on a Statement and funding agreement, etc. Years ago I knew of someone who sent their son who had dyspraxia to such a small independent school and they were very pleased with things. We also looked at another such school when my son was a very little boy, and would have loved to have sent himn there but just couldn't afford it. Just another area to look at. I would start with googling Gabbitas, as they hold information on all varieties of independent schools. Bid

Well, after 4 babies, my tum looks like it needs ironing! But I don't care...people are more attracted to a happy, positive personality than a strecth-mark-free bod in my experience Bid

Hi bb1976, I think the best advice is to try your to remain as calm as possible in your interaction with CAMHS. However badly you feel they are treating you, if they are making serious allegations against you, you need to present yourself as a calm, rational and responsible adult. However justified you feel, this will not be achieved by accusing them of incompetence in an emotional way. Your advocate should be helping you put together your case in a calm, professional manner, backing it up where you can with written evidence, etc. I do hope you find the help your family needs very soon. Bid