Annea

Thanks Karen, Thanks Bard, Having just finished the sheep costume I am with with you!!!! As for being peer equivalent, this is actually the words they have used however thats what worries me as our school is mixed age classes, so in my daughter's class she is taught alongside year 4's. As my daughter is one of the older year 5's she is in fact in class with some children who are 18 months younger than her. I worry if the teacher is just not able to differentiate between their abilities. I have of course been tld this is not the case. I have decided to download the key words for year 1 & 2 to see how she gets on. I do buy those home learning books that are supposed to be curriculum books, and in all of these books she can't manage anything more than yr 2-3 in some topics, I just didn't know how accurately they reflect the standards. It seems to me that she only struggles in certain areas, for instance in ordering and sequencing, she has fantastic knowledge in certain science and history areas. Can tell us all about topics they have studied inside out <apart from dates> . It is so hard to feel at logger heads with the school all the time, and their is no trust there. Yesterday I was on the phone to the EP (she is my eldest daughters EP as well as covering the school for my younger daughter) I was on the phone to her for 90 mins before going to collect my daughter from school. When I got to school, I asked the senco if she had a date for me for being assessed by the EP (I was told a dtae would be set for this term but when I spoke to the EP she said she was not due an initial visit till at least the spring term as she was not on SA+ - which the school have told me in writing she is) Anyway, the senco said, "funnily enough I have just been talking to the Ed Psych (names the name of the person I had just been talking to for the past hour and half) about your daughter, she didn't have her diary but said she will get back to me after Christmas with a date" So I said, Oh "when did you speak to her, so she said during the last lesson, I was on with her for quite a while" It seems that the Ed Psych somehow mangaed to speaking to us both at once!!! Or not of course, I knew she was lying and was quite stunned really. I said "oh I will be speaking to her tomorrow, (we have a meeting today for my eldest daughter- hence the preparatory phone call) So the Senco gets flustered and said, oh thats not necessary. and so I go on to say, oh yes we are meeting for my eldest dd, so she then said, oh right so you won't be discussing youngest dd then? It was surreal really as I imagined her desperatley trying to ring the ed psych afterwards so it looks like she was telling the truth after all. But meanwhile I am left with this feeling of, oh no more lies pleeeeeeese!!! Sorry for going on..... an on.... as you know I am going through all this at secondary school level with my oldest and have had so many lies to contend with. I m trying to learn by experience and make sure I get everything right this time as I go along to save time going back and forth. I think I am going to try and get as much info as possible together before I go back to the school to ensure they can't try to white wash me again. Anne (excuse my spellings by the way- so much stuff in my head it dosn't seem to be translating properly to my fingers) Anne

Hi Bard and thanks, Can I ask, when I had a meeting with the school last I was told she had the equivalent SATS level of 3 we don't do sats in wlaes but I think they use the testing, just not officially? Not sure if this is right. Have just looked at some of the strategies and it looks like she is struggling with yr 2 and 3 work in some areas, so how have their 'sats' results made it look like she is doing really OK? It's tough but if they are saying she is attaining then how can I prove otherwise? I have just requested a formal assessment of her needs but is their anyway I can have her achievemnts tested outside of school? It's just the thought of going through all this again when I am still fighting for my eldest daughter, it sure makes you tired! Anne

Hi Jen I have no financial help for you, but would like to say I am thinking of you at this difficult time as it is hard, even when it's done on your own terms as mine was I found the whole thin a minefield and very stressful. But it's now 10 yrs since I left my first hubby, he is a much better person as am I, and I am remarried to a wonderful man. It's especially hard to be on your own with A/S children as they take so much energy.. sooo anyway, Just to say thinking of you! Anne

Hi All, I am just in the process of starting to get serious about moving forward toward a diagnosis for my 3rd daughter. I feel she like her eldest sister may have an ASD but I'm not sure where on the spectrum she is. The question I need answering is this? Like with her sister, the school see no problems <familiar story anyone?> She has a few particular problems and the school say they are not problems, so can I first ask your opinions and secondly can I ask, is there a place anywhere, where I can check which ages are supposed to be achieving what at school? I don't want CATS levels more a case of, an average 10 yr old might be expected to know ABC etc.. So these are the issues that are worrying me regarding her education. She is age 10 and in year 5. She struggles with days of the week, she sort of knows the order but out of context she gets confused. For example she will ask what day is it today? How many days is it till xxxday then? she won't be able to work it out. She can' order the months of the year and will miss out months. She can tell some of the time, but only O clocks She still has not been able to grasp her 2 X tables although she has managed to know most of her 10's. (When she started yr 5 all children brough home a sheet of things they would be working toward, and it said on their they would be looking at 8 X and 9X tables. She has poor spellings and has extra help for this in school, her reading level is higher than average though. She can not multi task so would forget if asked to brush hair and teeth for example. She has poor attention span this is very obvious at home and has been picked up by her physio in different area both 1-1 and in group work, her school say she has no problems with this though. She also has a lot of personal problems and a few mobility problems as well but Here I am mainly ttaling about the academic side of things. SO should I be worried or does she sound like an average 10 yr old as I am told, (I do have two children over 10 but don't knowif they were brighter than average) Any help would be very gratefull received? I am in the process of writing a letter to the senco which needs to go tomorrow so any help this evening very valuable. Anne

Hi Michelle, who advised you of this? I think you have been given the incorrect information. We were told costs are only payable if one or other of the parties has acted unreasonably, wastd time etc. You can see this here. I have taken this quote from http://www.sendist.gov.uk/tribunal_process/the_decision.htm Will I have to pay any costs if I lose the appeal? You and the other side will not normally have to pay the other's costs. In very rare circumstances, if the tribunal thinks that either party has acted unreasonably, or deliberately wasted the tribunal's time, the other side may have to pay your costs, or you may have pay theirs. You do have to pay for legal representation as even legal aid does nt cover this, but to be honest our IPSEA rep knew the regs inside out and we were very confident in his ability. Some solicitors, especially those in Wales can get professional witnesses paid for by legal aid, not all legal aid solicitors will fund this as their is usually a short fall. We were given snacks, lunch and tea and coffee and expenses to get to and from the hotel that the hearing was held at. We will pay nothing even if we lose. As for fighting the LEA, I think that if your advice is solid and your evidence solid, it is no different fighting the LEA vs a governing body, many schools will use a barrister to fight their battles or at least out together their cases (ours did apparently) and so it can be as difficult or easy to win or lose no matter if it's an LEA or gverning body. I was very worried about our tribunal but can not emphasise enough just how professional they were, they were interested in fact and evidence and all of that had to be relavent to my daughter. Maybe I will change my mind if we lose but until then I would encourage others to go down this route. By the way Michelle I am of course not knocking you for choosing what was right for you, just trying to make sure people don't become worried as we were and especially about costs. Anne

Just to let you all know, I had my social worker pick up my forms for me. He filled them in for us and we received badges for both our girls last week. They are vaild for three years and we are really very grateful. It will mean I can take all my kids out at one time without worrying about having to walk half a mile back to a car park. Matt, you normally get the forms from your local council but all areas have different criterior for getting the badges <all down to interpretting the rules I think> Anne

Hi Mumbles, just to conform what others have said.... you get idiots everywhere no matter who you are, you did the right thing! My daughter also wears tinted lenses and gets some mad looks when we are in a shop, I just feel sorry for them. Anne

Hi Clare what sort of assessment have you requested? No Madme, I won't be going to the press as I explained to the governors, despite all the horrid things they have said about me, I am actually not out to ruin the school. I have more than one child there and feel it's important to just get the issues sorted. I know there are other cases being brought though against the same school so I don't know if that dad will feel the same. I hope they are slated too, I am just preying it won't go against us s I feel I would have to withdraw my children from the school. Thanks Mel, It is really hard to keep fighting, I still have a statement to sort out and also have another child who is awaiting assessment. I too wish good luck to everyone going through this but urge ALL parents to keep chipping away at it. The tribunals really are not that bad, as long as you have someone on your side and you have the truth on your side. Throughout the whole thing I kept looking at my dd photo and it did give me strength.

This is disgusting! Oxgirl can I ask why your son was given the taxi as a form of transport in the first place? Have his needs changed? I would speak to the transport manager and ask him who has carried out a risk assessment for the change of transport for your son. I would definately get some advie too, IPSEA took my transport problem to them and it only took one letter from them in the end. Disability discrimination is serious and our children have to be transported safely. If our kids are at risk because of their dissability, then transport has to be adjusted. It makes me so angry that our kids are messed around like this. We don't 'want' anything extra than kids without difficulties, it's a necessity, my daughter would love to e able to travel on the bus, we ask for these things because our kids need them. I would definitely ring up IPSEA for advice Oxgirl, and don't give up. In the short term if you have to take your child make sure you write them and tell them that you are having to do it under duress and I would then bill them (not that you'll get the money) Good luck! Anne

Thanks Nic

How Flora, thankyou! The school tried at times to 'slag me off' but the chair of the panel wasn't having any of it and stopped it in it's tracks. She also corrected the school several times when they mis quoted me etc, One of the teachers lost her temper and actually left the tribunal after a break as apparently she had been taken ill. I have to be quite careful with what I say as I don't want to do anything that might identify the school, but i am hopeful the panel will find in our favour. It wasn't scary at all, the panel were incredibly professional and not at all intimidating. I must say that I think this was because I was being completely honest, I think I would have been very nervous if I was hiding something or lying as they saw straight through it. I took a photo of my daughter and introduced them to her, I felt it really important that they knew that this was very real and not just a pile of documentray evidence.... As for the schools conduct, it was disgusting really, they blatently lied and openly said discriminatory comments such as peopel like me are unreasonable for expecting schools to treat our children like normal. To expect a teacher to look after children like these is unacceptable!! I just now look forward to moving on. and steeling myself for the next fight! Anne

Well, we had our hearing today and I feel it went very well for our daughter. We have to wait 7-10 days now for a decision but I am hoping it might be a bit quicker with Christmas pending. I feel a big relief that it's over, and win or lose I feel like I know that I have fought her corner! I would advise anyone who feels intimidated by this procedure to get good advice <IPSEA were wonderful> and take the bull by the horns. If anyone in the future wants any inking of a mums view on the procedings, I am happy to oblige. I am now having a break before Chistmas and then back onto fight the LEA for a suitable statement. Good luck to anyone who's cases are pending... Anne

Hi Oxgirl, I hope you manage to sort this out. I hate bullying of any sort and this is what this woman is! We all know what it feels like when things go ti*s up, but it isn't your fault and she has no right to intimadte you in your own home. I have been in the situation where I was being harrassed by a parent by email over a disagreemnt she felt we had had, in the end I printed them off and too them to the police station, they had a 'polite word with her' and the mails stopped immediately. It might seem extreme but she has no right to take her frustration out on you. I would also write the LEA, forward these mails but ensure you tell them about the effects that the journey is having on all the children. Transport should not cause stress to the child, and IPSEA have been really helpful to me in the past regarding a transport issue. My daugher now gets a taxi alone and has done for the past year. LEA's can't make these decisions purely on funding. I really hope you get it sorted, there are peole in this world who are just downright mean, but ultimately it's probably this woman's stress that is making her do this (this is not acceptable though) Take care Anne

Thanks Di, When I spoke to the woman on the phone about the decision, I asked if she had taken any medical or specialist advie on board and she said and I quote " DLA is not given for a medical condition" So I said that the medical problems cause the symptoms that my daughter has. When I said about her wetting at school, she said, again I quote " Isn't your daughter old enough to wear pads inside her pants, surely she can change these herself, the teachers say she doesn't have problems" I said the teachers don't even seem to know when she is wet either.... They are idiots... and I am so angry at the head! The head said my dd had no problems with road sense, but she has NEVER taken her out of school and never had to cross roads etc. my 10 year old can't even tell the time, knows the days of the week, the months of the year and doesn't know her adress... Oh I am so unhappy.... Di, I will reply via email to you.... Once I get five minutes .. Anne

When my dd's applicationw ent in, she was offered higher rate care and lower mobility 1st time, no problems. I have just received a decision on my youngest daughter <not yet diagnosed> she has a lot more mobility problems, behavioural problems wetting etc etc... She has been turned down. I just received the evidence they used to make the decision and the school have said she has no problems!!!!! I am very furious! They seem to have ignored the peadiatrician who said she DOES have the problems I have stated. They have also ignored the extra information I sent in from her Physio therapist. SHe has once weekly class physio, once weekly 1-1 physio and physio daily at home as well as wearing splints at night etc. I have decided to go down the tribunal route, but does anyone have any advice on how best to do this? I have considered paying for a private assessement to see if I can get a diagnosis sorted... it's just so frustrating! Anne

Well I have just received my first draft!!! And surprise, surprise it's more or less just a list of everything the school has tried to do for the past 3 yrs apart from 2 hrs LSA support a day <not 1-1> .. I am peed off so to speak...... it looks like they have not really bothered with the SALT and OT reports instead just saing these difficulties that have been noted will have to be monitored, by whom? the bloomin teachers who are failing her at the moment? grrrrrrr..... DId I expect anything more? Nah..... Ok..... is their anywhere that has copies of 'real' statements so I can see what they look like ? I have looked at the NAS site and think I just need to rewrite the whole bloomin thing. Sorry for ranting, it's just a big game these people play isn't it? Anne

Hi all, I am expecting the first draft of DD's statement tomorrow and have been told by the inclusion officer to feel free to scribble over it, add or take stuff away etc I have some guidelines from the independent reports I hace had done as to what my daughter needs, but I have never even seen a statement before. Are there any sample statements anywhere to give me an idea where to start taking it apart? I have been told their are several section 1-4 how do I know if they have put the correct things in the right place? I don't want to accept any draft, without feeling it is perfect. thanks for any input Anne

Hi Di, I'm glad daniel is more settled today and I'm glad he is getting a bit more support. Big hugs Di..... <'> Anne

Hi Strafish, My daughter was diagnosed in year 6 of primary after being on SA+ for two years. I was told all sortsof things I now found to be untrue. I was assured that all children with SEN regardless of whether they have a statemnt get treated the same and get what they need. This ISN'T the case. My daughter is now year 9 and after all these years the lEA have agreed to statement her. This was after being turned down for a statement and amost getting to tribunal with appeal. What I will say, is use this forum, use the autistic society and get ALL the facts available so you know how to fight the system. I was told last week that in my area, they rarely statement a 13yr old with A/S unless they have BIG learning difficulties. All my daughters problems are anxiety based, and as such as far as the school and LEA were concerned, her problems didn't exist. I still don't know the legalaties of which child is entitiled to what, but I do know that you need to fight and start now. You don't need to wait for the school to ask for a statement, you can do this yourself now. Put your concerns down and say why the school can't cope. I would also suggest you not communicate to the school or LEA by phone, get everything in writing, as you will find a lot of people 'bluff' their way through meetings etc. If you are entitled to legal aid, you can utilize this once the school have refused to assess your son <they will probably do this if the school don't support a statement> You can also utilize services such as IPSEA who have experts on team ready to help. Remember even if the statement process goes smoothly it can take 6 months + but with a child whose problems aren't as obvious as those with big learning needs, it can take a lot longer, with us it's taken two and a half years! so do jump on it as soon as possible. I'm sure you will get a lot less airy fairy advice from others on here, but just to let you know that I am thinking of you.... My daughter too is getting more and more depressed, and it is very scary! <hugs> Anne

We have today gone through the schools defence and as Flora suggested cross referanced it and bullet pointed evry single point. There defense is full of not only lies but full of inconsistencies mis quoted comments, comments taken out of context and at one point the defense becomes totally confused and gets all the facts muddled up. He states openly that he feels that my dd has no problems other than her parents and makes disparaging remarks about me throughout te defense. He goes on to admit that my dd is a burden on the school and agrees that children like her shouldn't be allowed to go on trips! They couldn't even add a copy of their policies to the defence because they don't have any! I feel a lot more relaxed now about going to tribunal and will let you all know how I got on. Kelima, I am interested in whetehr their was any adverse reactions to you winning your case, ie how the children were treated in school following the appeal? Thanks in advance. Anne

Hi Flora thank you so much, I am in fact being represented by IPSEA, and the documents will be sent to him very soon by my solicitor. My hubby has just given me a pep talk and told me it looks like they are just trying dirty tactics to get me to drop the case. We both think your idea on making bullet points based on their case statemnt is sound, we will do this tomorrow before the statement goes to our solicitor. We are then going to try to put this behind us for a few weeks and think Christmas instead. <sigh> Thanks also to you claire, the hugs are much appreciated! Anne

Thank you Flora, The bit I am most angry about is where the governer makes referance to course he has been on which highlighted a mother who was causing her childs problems. It goes on to state that the school are becoming increasingly concerned about where my daughters anxiety has been arising. Insinuating I am the cause of problems I have worked tirelssely to help my daughter to over come for so many years makes me so very upset. I have even considered as to whther these acusations are libellous. Everyone of us here knows how very hard it is to get through some days and for them to say that I am causing these problems makes me feel truly sick! I am angry, but more than that I fell so very sad and deflated.... The date is set for the first week in December, and it can't come soon enough so I can put the whole sorry thing behind us!! I so wish I had another school option at this point, but WHY should we run? The best bit about it is that I am not the only parent going through this process with the same school. I know the school has big issues and I know I have to make a stand, but God it's hard. I need some big Hugs!!

This has been the most difficult part of caring for my daughters education. My daughters psychiatric team have said that it is really common for children <especially girls?> to mask their A/S at school, so many people on here have the same story, but at my school in particular, it is considered my issue, and as you can from my other post today the school have goe as far as saying that she has no problems apart from me! Anne Ashford

Hi all, as you all know we are due to go to a diss discrimination tirbunal in a few weeks time concerning a school trip issue. I received the informationf rom the school today which included the schools response to my claim, I was so shocked as they alledge my daughter actually has no problems and it is me causing her problems! They go on to say that they have no other parent who is in contact with the school and complains as much as me and it is me preventing the school and my daughter from having a healthy relationship! They told me that I was the only parent EVER to request a copy of school records (This I know is a blatent lie as I am in communication with another parent who is also doing a dis claim against the same school) They have taken very small sections out of my correspandance to the school so it looks like I have said things that I have clearly not said.... I am so shocked at there tactics and just hope that the panel see their defence for what it is...... Can anyone share their experiences with me? Has anyone else been shocked at the defence in these claims? I am so stressed about this meeting, the thought that anyone thinks I am harming my daughter, makes me feel sick! Anne

Well after 3 years our appeal for SEN statement was arranged for next month, but I just heard that the LEA have decided not to oppose my appeal and are prepared to write a statement! To be honest we had such strong independant reports from SALT, ed psych and OT that we feel we would have won at appeal, but it is such a relief to have got the statement. We are still going forward for the diss discr at tribunal and now have the date for that, please keep our fingers crossed for that! Anne