Kazzen161

It is perfectly reasonable to suggest that a child winding another child up is told off - it is a behaviour that needs to be stopped just as much as a child needs to learn to manage their anger. I never said it was OK for him to threaten someone with a knife, but he is not going to learn better ways to respond without help (anger management training). It is also going to be important for the staff to play their part, as if they had intervened earlier it would not have got to this stage. Any anger management training would be shared with the parents, so they could reinforce the strategies.

If the school has an ELSA trained TA, then they can offer anger management training. This needs to be backed up by all other staff in the school too. If children are deliberately winding him up, they need to be told off, as it is unacceptable.

Try SEN CofP: Appendix A section 17 (3 and 4).

http://www.parksidealdershot.co.uk/Sensory-Suite.html Here's an example of one.

If it is a general meeting, then by all means ask how the school handles incidents of bullying, but do not raise your son's issues at this meeting. Seeing the SENCO after the meeting to make an appointment to discuss the issues would be good, and by then you may have gathered some more specific details re: the bullying. Bullying is not a SEN specific issue, but you could ask what parents should do if their child has any difficulties at school (eg: who to contact and how).

Do the specialist schools belong to the other LA or are they independent? I would not even consider moving until a) the statement is through your son has tried the school to see if it goes OK c) you get some idea of how likely the neighbouring LA is to keep your son at the school. If you move and the school does not work, it will have been for nothing. If the school is independent, the neighbouring LA may not agree to continue to fund it - they may have their own (LA) asd provision. If the statement is not through yet - how do you know there will definitley be a place for him at either school in Sept? If it is a LA run school, then they are likely to fill it up with their own children. If it is independent, then they will not allocate a place until your LA agree to fund it, which is unlikley until the statement is finalised. When he starts school is he going into Yr R or into Yr 1?

Thought you might like this Kathryn http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/10/27/procrastination/

The more info we have, the better we are able to advise. It would seem that the anger issues are the major problem. It may be that the more you understand about AS, the better you will be able to help your son. It may well take a while for your son to come round to accepting that he might have AS, but if the strategies work, then that is the important thing, not the label. What changed when he was 19? Did he leave school/move out/get a job? While at school/home, maybe he had enough of a routine to keep his stress/anxiety down.

You should have been given log-on details. If you go onto the site, there will be explanations of how it works. It usually goes by your housing needs first (=band) and then by how long you have been on that band. On our local site, you can click on "recent lets" and it tells you what houses/flats have been recently won and by who, so you can see if any Band D people have won a flat. When we log on, it tells us what properties we are eligible to bid for. As someone else said, if your parents decided to "evict" you, you would automatically be moved up to a higher Band. Useful to remember for when you do feel ready to move out.

You do need to get advice on how you can resolve the access issues, but in the meantime concentrate on what you can do to help your children. Could you sometimes go and stay overnight in a local Travelodge/B&B so that you could visit them for a couple of days? (Travelodge often do very cheap rates if you book in advance). Can you keep in regular contact with the girls via text/e-mail/skype? They need to know that you are thinking about them even when you are not with them. Could you afford to get them a magazine subscription, so each month they get a reminder of you? Take photos of things that you do when you are not with them and get them to do the same, so you can keep up-to-date on what each other is doing. Send them a card/postcard/note in the week. However tough it is on Xmas Day - make the most of the time you have with them. Maybe leave them a note to open on Boxing Day. If you know when you will next see them, maybe make charts - one for you and one for them - to cross off the days.

My son is on ESA and he has been given them automatically. I am on CTC and WTC and I do not get them.

The LA should be guided by what the Statement says - your ex would have had an opportunity to contribute towards the Statement and his opinions would have been taken into account then.

We have only had one meeting re: being an appointee, and T's DLA still goes into my ordinary account.

Has he ever been given a "bed" card? If he can remember how to spell bed, then he hopefully will be able to write them round the right way. See the picture half way down this page: http://www.dyslexia-england.co.uk/magazine30.html

Another bonus of moving into this type of place is that you might find you make friends with some of the other tenants. Social workers have to convince the housing people that you are suitable/ready for this type of housing, so they must think you are ready. Once you know what the rent and coucil tax is, you can use www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx to calculate what benefits you would get.

I have sometimes wondered what my son would be like if he did not have Aspergers - it is hard to separate what is due to the AS and what is his natural personality. I don't think his AS stops him expressing his own personality, but I think it does make some of the aspects of his personality become more annoying than they would be without the AS. As an NT, I feel that life circumstances stop me being who I really am. I have to act a certain way because of what is happening in my life (eg: I do not really like conflict, but have ended up in many such situations because of things that happen in my life). We also have to behave in certain ways at work, in formal meetings, etc, so again we are not really being us. I guess the less stressed we are, the more our true personality has a chance to be shown. So if we can find friends we are comfortable with, a job and hobbies that we enjoy, somewhere to live that we are happy in, then we can relax enough to be our true selves. Can you think of anywhere that you could be your true self? eg: an NT person might join an amateur dramatics society so that they can express their more confident side; or might invite friends to their house for dinner rather than going to a posh restaurant if they are not very confident.

Is this supported housing? In that case, an agency (provider) support worker is part of the offer - they can help with tenancy issues, such as paying bills, sorting out elecricity/gas supply, other residents being noisy, etc. You should also be able to get help with independent living skills via social services (someone to come in and help/teach you learn to look after yourself). I presume you currently get some support via the NAS, and she is saying you could choose to carry on getting them to help you. You should ask her to explain exactly what help is provided (is the support person on site or only there once/a few times a week?). How long can you stay in this flat? (they sometimes give a maximum time, by which time they expect you to be able to move into a normal council flat). A Community Grant is where you can apply for help to buy essential furniture - they only help certain people, so you would need to check if you meet the criteria. Unfortunately, you can never predict how much they will agree to pay you, but you can get lots of things second hand or off free-cycle. The flat may come with some appliances fitted. I would go to the CAB and ask them to calculate what benefits you would be entitled to. Do you know how much the rent and council tax are? It sounds like a good opportunity. If it did not work out, would you be able to move back in with your parents?

Thanks for that, Tally.

You need to check how these target grades are produced. It can be based on past rate of progress, or on the progress a child should make over a year (but you have said he has not made expected progress before), or on the progress the teachers think he will make. My sons' end of year/KS grades at secondary never matched up to actual grades achieved. There is some disparity between levels at end of KS2 and end of year 7 (ie: a L3a at one is not the same as a L3a at the the other). You should be concerned that he has not made progress over the last two years. This needs to be addressed and may include assessments by EP or for dyslexia. Did his previous IEPs show that he did make progress?

Yes, you do have to declare AS and ADHD. You have to fill in a medical form and they may consult his doctor to check he is OK to drive. There is info on the NAS site and on www.oaasis.co.uk. There is no harm in the instructor telling the examiner about his AS/ADHD (though he should ask your son first) - it can help.

I am also surprised, as round here staff are not allowed to say anything. If a letter goes out, it is to everyone in the class and is non-specific. A TA is not medically qualified to advise how to treat lice.

Thanks alanm, that is useful information. My son is just starting to apply for jobs and we have the same issues. We also have a Shaw Trust meeting at the end of the month, so I now know what they could do. I am finding it quite frustrating, as I usually go to meetings with him to support him, but it is not really the done thing to take your Mum along to an interview!

The Equality Act covers all aspects I believe (eg: gender, race, sexuality, etc) and JC adverts only usually say this when they need a person of a particular gender for job specific reasons (eg: a male carer for a male client). I would just ask the JC if you are not sure what they are meaning.

Try: Progression Guidance http://nationalstrategies.standards.dcsf.gov.uk/node/190123 and Comparison and Analysis of Special Pupil Attainment http://www.sgasystems.co.uk/caspa/features/keyfeatures.htm