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Hello all, haven't been on for a while but you may remember me ranting about something from time to time!! Well, since I last posted I have had a beautiful baby boy called Luca who is now 4 months old! A couple of weeks ago we received Dan's diagnosis of ....Asperger syndrome. Im really happy that after 4 years of knowing this it has finally been proven. Dan is ok at the mo but any changes however small are causing major meltdowns. and his literal thinking is becoming more pronounced. I know it sounds stupid but i FEEL he is getting worse as he gets older???? He goes into the juniors at his school in sept and he is really anxious about it. I am too. Dan's handwriting is terrible due to fine/gross motor skills and he is well behind the other kids and he doesn't get any real specialist help, it also takes him longer to process info so that will be difficult for him too. His teacher said that academically he doesn't need a special school, but social and communication skills are poor. Im not sure even with a statement that the right place for Dan is mainstream school ( haven't even applied for a statement yet- but if he doesn't get one he will be majorly behind!!) I don't know whats best for him educationally, has anyone got any advice or experience with similar problems??? I'd be very very grateful!!! love caroline xx

Hi, my 6 year old son is currently being assessed for Aspergers which in his paeds opinion is definate that thats the diagnosis. Anyway, we have had various problems during the last 3 yrs but Dan has tried really hard and has received more support from school which has helped him alot. The problem is, since he broke up the school has merged with the junior school and a lot of change has come about. All this change has of course had an effect on Dan in a negative way. Daniel explained to one of his teachers (who has taught him on and off for 2 years) that he wasn't happy with the changes and he didn't like the new group he was put into. She said to him "well you know what my answer to that is- tough". I want to kill her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was totally inopropriate to talk to Dan like this and now he says she has been horrible to him. I really want to complain. Dan's anger and agression has been worse over the holiday and when he has a meltdown he is uncontrollable so I knew I would have problems, but today Dan was aggrressive and violent in the playground and we were told that if his behaviour doesn't improve then we have to go and speak to the head master!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally peed off!!! Dan had a meltdown because other kids were violent towards him-but thats ok isn't it?? Where are his support groups gone, why is he being kept back at lunch to do his hand-writing? His fine motor skills are poor so he hates writing because he knows he is not good at it- wheres his support??? I just don't know where to start- I really want to write a letter to complain and express my concerns for Dan's future at the school, is there anything I can demand such as support in the playground, with writng etc, should I push for a statement?? Right now I could do with a huge but I CAN'T because im almost 6 months pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!! If anyone could help me on what I should write, i'd be so so grateful. thanks caroline

Hi all, just a quick question- can I get a reduction on my council tax for getting carers allowence for my son?? He gets higher rate care and low mobility. It's really confusing? love caroline x

Hi all, over the last 3 weeks when things get too much for Dan e.g change, frustration, meltdowns he has said several times that he wants to kill himself. This is obviously heartbreaking for me as I fear that at times he may try to hurt himself. I don't know who to turn to or who i should contact for help with this issue. Dan is capable of anything during meltdowns and he has been known to try and stab us and throw sharp andf heavy objects etc. He also hits/punches himself. I just don't know what to do or what the paed can do about this situation I'd be very grateful for any advice. love caroline

Yes, I can totally relate to that, if I ask Dan to do something for example-go upstairs and fetch his clothes he will come down empty handed, and when I ask him a question-it takes him ages to respond. caroline

Iv'e just had a report back for my son aged 6 who amongst other things has got processing, memory and perceptual difficulties. Is this all part of ASD? I understand the other things such as fine/gross motor problems, literal thinking, expressive language difficulties etc but can anyone shed any light on the above because Im not quite sure what they mean! many thanks caroline x

They want all my payslips dating back 6 months even though that job has got nothing to do with my claim!!?? caroline

When I first put in a claim for carers allowence I thought, great- my son is entitled to higher rate DLA and I earn below the the amount they specify that I can-easy. Three weeks down the line, they want all of my payslips from my previous employer! I didn't have them all and now they have written to her so lord knows how long it will take for that information to get to them. The thing is-why do they need my previous payslips??? I m not claiming for that period while I was working in that job so I don't understand????? I'm worrying now that I won't get it. As far as Im concerned, I am claiming from 12 feb 07 which is when my son was awarded DLA and during this time I have not earned more than I am meant to (infact well below) so why do they want to know what I was doing 6 months previously?? Has anyone else had this problem??? Or have any words of advice as I am getting really worried now! caroline

My son has just been awarded high rate care and low rate mobility after re-consideration!!!! Im over the moon caroline

Dan aged 6 walked at 11 1/2 months and talked fluently before the age of 2. His speech was amazing for his young age as was his memory

I forgot to mention OCD aswell........

Hello, Iv'e just come back from the paed with my 6 year old and she seems pretty certain that Dan has as, adhd and co-ordination problems. Is it possible that he can be dx with all of these or are they all part of as?? caroline

Can you remember everything that you wrote about your child?? Because I heard that sometimes they do this and 'pretend' they have lost a form to try and catch people out. Im sure this is not the case with you but it's worth baring in mind. Goodluck!! caroline

After a trip to the chemist last week Daniel was stood with me waiting to be served when he shouted at the top of his voice "mum look at that old lady behind us her face is all dried up!!!" I did find it amusing but at the same time I wanted the ground to swallow me up! The lady he was refering to was only in her 50's but had a well weathered face (little bit wrinkly). He also saw a baby of about 8 months with very fair skin and asked his mother why he had so many veins in his head! Yes the veins were prominant but needless to say the mother was not impressed. We have now had a discussion about hurting peoples feelings but now when I say "dan how do I look?" he replies "mummy I don't want to hurt your feelings..............." caroline

Im not sure if they contact the school again di?? Hope not, they sound pretty useless lol! Rang the man again yesterday and he said it will be another week before Dans case gets looked at again

Hello everyone, I am expecting Dan's DLA reconsideration result to be decided any day now. I sent off loads more supporting evidence and i'm feeling quietly confident this time. However............. I'm desperate to know how many of you got turned down at first attempt and awarded after reconsideration and how many didn't get awarded after reconsideration. I just don't want to get my hopes up just incase Many many many thanks for any replies caroline

Well I guess my mind is made up because I just found out that im pregnant!!! So i wont be returning to work after my sick note runs out. Dan has taken the news really well, I just hope it's not a girl as Daniel will be very angry with me-he only wants a brother! CAROLINE

Hi Lynda, thank you for adding your advice and comments. I just wanted to say please don't ever feel bad about being on benefits, It's people like you who deserve them!!!!! I worked full time nights from the time my daughter was 6 weeks old until she was 3 and I will always mourn the time I never spent with her. I was constantly tired and ratty, she must have thought I was a monster, she used to cry when she was with me because all she wanted was my child minder and that broke my heart to pieces. As Iv'e mentioned before, we plan to have another baby and i am determind not to make the same mistakes. I know this is not true for alot of working mums and I hold my hand up to them all and say welldone, what an amazing job you are doing!! And at the same time you have selflessly devoted all of your life and time to the best job in the world, I know it's hard when my son doesn't seem to appriciate anything I do, but iv'e come to accept that he will always be this way and it's not his fault. I could never imagine how i'd cope with 3 children with ASD! Keep going, and I hope oneday you will be able to find a job that suits you and your children, because lets face it, we all need adult conversation! the best of luck to you <'> <'> caroline x

That is also a worry of mine!! If I don't have work, where can I escape to??!! lol

It's so nice for a change to feel supported and to know that im not the only one going through these difficulties and feelings, I can't thank you all enough for your support and I hope that oneday soon my advice can help all you wonderfully special people, you all deserve a medal and so do your children for being so unique and amazing. lots of love caroline xx <'> <'> <'> <'>

Thank you for all your supportive kind words. Im a support worker for people suffering from autism, learning difficulties, down syndrome and mental health problems. It feels like I give more to them than my own son at times so i feel quite guilty that I give my all to them and don't have enough energy for my son!! I only work 13 hours per week-just two shifts but working 2.30-9pm is a right pain because Daniel wont go to sleep until I am home melatonin or not!! The three trips to school per day on foot doesn't help as I m sure you can imagine due to Dan's refusal to walk and having to touch every metal object and shouting at people who walk faster than us! lol Anyway, Iv'e just arrived home from the dr and he has pescribed me anti-depressants (again) which I really didn't want to have, but he is a lovely caring Dr and Im willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. He has also signed me off for 2 weeks so hopefully I can gain some perspective on the situation and decide what is best for me and my family. caroline

Hello all, I have a son who is 6 and has suspected AS and a "normal" daughter who is 3. As you all know, it can be extremely difficult looking after any child especially when they have special requirements as my son does- bless him. The thing is, I have always worked part time or fulltime for the last nine years and i'm getting really fed up now. I know that people cope with so much more than I do but im totally stressed out! I can't sleep, Im comfort eating, i feel constantly drained and am extremely irritable. I suffered from severe depression 2 years ago due to me looking after my dad who had a stroke at just 49, dan having severe problems at school, a misscarriage and an unhappy marriage. Since then, I have come a long way and pulled myself out of the depths of desparation. But now I just can't shake this feeling of exuastion and glumness off. Iv'e come to the point where I just want to be a mummy and not worry about making ends meet. We are planning to have a baby (new partner) and try and create some stability for my son. I sometimes think im just lazy and pathetic as my life could be so much worse and I don't know if i'm being stupid or not? I would love some honest advice as Im stuck and I don't know what to do. Dan's DLA is currently being re-considered and Im praying he will get it so I can give up work and make life more structured for him, but if we don't get it, there is absolutely noway I can even think about it. Im tempted to ask the dr to sign me off for a couple of weeks with stress so I can sort myself out, Im detemind not to suffer from depression again. Sorry to waffle! caroline x

THATS GREAT NEWS BAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you get it on first try?? I'm currently going through the re-consideration process with my son so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed!! I long to see my bank balance not displaying the DR sign lol caroline

WOW!! I just read up on fragile x and williams syndrome and my son could fall into both of those. Now I realise why the diagnosis process takes so long for AS. It never occured to me that my son could have those other conditions. Don't quite know what to think now. CAROLINE

Hi all, sorry to sound dumb but Im finding posts relating to camhs everywhere but nothing about casbat (communication and social behaviour assessment team). My son has just turned 6 (yesterday) and has been refered to them and I am currently waiting for assessments from them. I have sent off all the details they asked for from pregnancy till now and loads of tick boxes etc. Dan will see his paed for the second time on 17th may. Im presuming we are right at the start of the diagnosis process. Any advice would be welcomed. <'> Many thanks caroline