Bambi

Thanx for all ur replies guys My son is not at school our GP signed him off in November 06 with anxiety & depression and yet the school are very ignorant to the reality of things which is nothing new. I know! these people must think we like all this rubbish or get a kick from it and they miss the real reality of our kids NEED IT! but it is all about saving them money well they can think what they like a and do as they please, i will go to high heaven for my son's needs and i wont stop no matter what they throw at me! Bambi x

Wow they really do try to get out of giving our kids what they so rightly need and deserve dont they?! it gets worse!!! good luck and i hope u get it, i too have had to appeal as they see T is no more hard work than a *normal* child of his age, yeah rite! they need to get a grip if they think a nearly 7 yr old is fine going in a buggy for his safety and meltdown probs when out & about! Bambi x

Im so sorry to hear the news Pearl sending u both lots of <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> It is their loss and im sure there will be something better for him out there. Bambi x

I really and truly dont know what planet some professsionals are on and its certainly not ours! got it confirmed that T has been refused a statement (obviously they want me to give up) of course i will contest it and with the backing of Ts Paed but like with many of us they want to make it so hard that we do give up the fight, I WILL NOT GIVE UP EVER!!!! Ive been away for easter and this is what i return to how nice, NOT! Bambi x

Awwww hun <'> >< <'> >< <'> Im so sorry only just seen ur post i have been away for easter, sorry i dont know much about permanent exclusion but im sure someone will have som advice for ya. Thinking of ya hun <'> Bambi x

Awwww hev thats awful <'> sending best wishes for ur sister's recovery and she is home with u very soon Thinking of u all <'> >< Bambi x

Awww hun lots of <'> >< <'> >< <'> for u both and heres hoping the referral comes thru pretty quick Take care hun and thinking of ya. Bambi x

Awww its sad that this is happening to you <'> >< Im guessing ur son's dx is a private one? i was going to go down that road to get T dx as i was fed up with his needs being ignored but NAS put me straight on that one if i did that then the LA had a right to ignore it! how wrong is that?! it makes me sick that does because whether a private dx or not its syill a dx of a life long disability and no professional would give that to a child if it wasnt the case. All about the LA having control of every little thing regarding their funding and manpower for special needs kids/adults, not good enough! My son is not in school either and thats another battle i still have on my hands, it never ends! I wish u all the best with getting all the help M needs and do keep us updated when u can, thinking of u Bambi x

Im so sorry about what ur son has suffered here and its heartbreaking reading it <'> >< <'> >< Sounds like the meeting went well and heres hoping and that things move on as quickly as poss for your son. Good luck Bambi x

Hope things are sorted asap and fingers crossed for ya <'> >< Bambi x

Awww hun <'> >< but never ever be ashamed of how things have got to this stage, your son has special needs and his needs, need attending to. We are not always going to be around and respite is needed to help them cope in other situations with others caring for them, its great that things are looking up for you too now and what a state we have to get in for this to happen is heartbreaking, not only for our kids but for us parents/carers too. Im really pleased for ya Bambi x

Thanks hun and i know what u mean, i want to do so much but our kids are just a number in the system yet they have very complex special needs, things have to change and very fast. Bambi x

This morning was a meeting with the SW and i really do have to say that i am quite shocked at the help that seems to be on the cards for us now. She is going to start the sessional worker involvement AND start the process of finding a suitable respite placement for T, im happy that things seem to be moving in the right direction whether they work out or not is another story but hey im willing to try and all i have ever wanted is help to cope with the life T & i live. We discussed my family & freinds support in depth and it showed clearly that i have a strong network of personal support and i told them that forums of parents/carers like myself have been a massive support because until just over a year ago i never knew they existed and what a life saver they are, i told her we go away a lot even if it is hard but i visit family & friends down south to make sure T still has the involvement of people that have always been in his life. I told her my family support is fantastic and without them i would be lost in many ways, i have a large family and not all play a big part but them that do couldnt do enough and given the fact they have their own lives, families and jobs to do they still do so much for me & T. I think she was impressed and so was the other SW that was with her (same lady as last time and they will always be both of them that visit me to keep it consistant for our family they said) they were nodding a lot and saying thats good when i was telling them the facts of the people who are in our life. They were impressed about my forum and took the name i told them just google to find it (she wrote down the name) i told her i meet with parents when possible and its great to feel 'accepted' and the parents i meet dont judge me but VERY much understand me & accept Ts behaviour which i have struggled to find when meeting people in general while living for 2 years in this area. I think this meeting was very productive and it highlighted the point that i am not a bad mother and all i have ever wanted is help for us both, i dont want T out of school nor do i want the stresses that come with fighting for a special needs child, i thanked them for all what they are doing now and that i appreciate any help they can offer me. Bambi x

Awww thanks guys for your very kind words and support, i try my best in every way possible and thats all we all can do is our best. Bambi x

Well before T was rushed into hospital i did mange to see my local MP, my bro came over about lunchtime for the day and to sit with T while i went to see her at 2.45pm. It went great! she was very easy to talk to and i told her exactly what T & me are going through, she was even saying to me yeah ASD children do that sort of thing and she wanted to know about Ts life story, so we discussed it in detail, she was very interested. Then i stated the facts about the unprofessional comments and happenings all through Ts 3 schools in this area, i said its not good enough that this is the treatment of a special needs child and how so very common it is for many parents up & down the UK, to which she agreed also. I then explained about the failings of Ts home tuition that should of been sorted months ago now and that T has been out of school for nearly 5 months with no form of education and that by my knowledge is breaking the Educational Law. She asked what can she do for me and i was honest with her asking what can she do? as i dont have a clue anymore because life is very hard for us and everywhere i turn no-one seems to want to help or care. I told her i have been told not to complain or antaganise people because its not in Ts best interest! well if my concerns about the health and well-being of my child isnt a good enough reason then what is?! She said 'why shouldnt u complain?' i have every write to complain and the complaints procedure is there to be used and i am using it, i cant and wont sit here and say nothing when my son's whole life is a mess due to the mental health team failing him and the LEA not providing him an edcaution along with SS ignoring me for 2 years. She said what she can do is contact the council regarding Ts situation and speak with the head of services (the same person i wrote my own complaint to) and request that T gets an education sorted that suits his individual needs as soon as possible, i cant ask more than that really. They will then be aware that i have gone to my MP and that shows my desperation i am not doing all this for ###### fun! im doing it for my baby to have a chance in life living with a disability and for all our kids to have a chance because they are adults in the future and it doesnt get any better for them then either, that to me is heartbreaking. Bambi x

Awww hun <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> I think its criminal what the services put us through and how the fail our kids and our families, thinking of you. Bambi x

Hi guys Well i have had a hell of a time, trying to get what is needed for my son seems VERY hard and to have to end up taking T into hospital due to him being a danger to himself and others. I tried my damned hardest to get T medical help but it seems very hard to get it for kids under the age of 13 and even privately, everywhere we rung either didnt take kids or only had kids over the age of 13, that goes to show u that Ts probs are far more severe than people realised and the failings have only damaged him more. When we arrived at the hospital on Friday tea time i think the medical staff were shocked about T but under the instruction of our GP we had to take him there with the state he was in, as usual T was being very controlling and losing the plot with everyone that day because they were not doing what he wanted it was heartbreaking to see my baby in such a mess. The registrar on duty when we arrived asked if T had ever seen a psychiatrist and i said no but i did ask for one when T was under the local mental health team and it never happened, then after midnight another resgistrar came on duty and she came to see us, again she said to me T needs to see a psychiatrist which i agreed that he does, trying to get a private psychiatrist for a child his age proved impossible. It was decided on Friday evening that we would be in hospital for the weekend and come monday they would suggest a psychiatrist be informed about T and he was, we saw him yestaday afternoon. We spoke about T from birth and about our family background, he said as i may know ASDs can be genetic so he he wanted to know about our family background for that reason and anyone who may suffer with mental health problems. Thats when i informed him that my dad didnt speak until he was 8, that he cannot write and that he has been on anti-depressants for years now and also the medical background of myself that required a brain & chest scan along with the possibility of me being examined for petit mal (fits). After our discussion he wanted to go see T obviously without me and after that we met again to discuss his next step, he made it clear to me that T needed his intervention and that i need help with managing Ts difficult behaviour. I think he was shocked at T being so many different people daily and rarely himself along with how T reacts so bad to so many minor things in his daily life, all of which i have been stressing to the powers that be for many years! The psychiatrist has stated that he would like T to to be seen as an out patient and on a regular basis, i will recieve an appointment for him at some point this month and all this only came about because of the state my T is now in and having to take him to hospital like that, why is it like this for us and how damaging the system is in many ways for our children. T has told kids at school and my neighbour that he will get a knife and chop their head off!! told his dad to drive into a wall while in his car with him one day and tried to throw himself in front of a car because 'he wanted to know what it feels like' while laughing about it, all this kind of talk i have made professionals VERY aware of and anyone in their right mind would know that kind of talk is not what a 5 yr old should be saying but as usual with useless professionals its not of their concern nor important to them. Ts SW came to the hospital this afternoon and i got my bro in-law to come as i didnt want anymore intimidation and i again told them look at what has happened now and AGAIN due to their failings things are this bad, all she could do was look at me and say this isnt a quick fix, i ###### know that! All this could of been prevented if they had done their job 2 yrs ago when they had a detailed report from down south stating clearly WE ARE A FAMILY IN NEED and with my own concerns that i repeatedly made to them about Ts needs! again all i got were looks from her and i told her straight i wont shut up and accept what has happened, i am very angry and it doesnt end here not by a ###### long shot. She advised me she had spoke with her manager that they would agree to go ahead with a sessional worker and what did i want a man or woman, well i said a man as he will probably feed Ts needs more by being able to play footy and do typical boys stuff with him, i think T would accept a sessional worker better if they cater for his needs and more on his wavelength, i hope! I was then asked how often once or twice a week? i said twice a week at least, if T has to build trust in someone then they need to be there pretty regular. SW is coming again in the morn to continue the core assesssment details and she reckons they may be able to sort respite out for T, i believe it when i see it! not holding my breath tho ive gone well and truly past that as i dont have no faith with these people anymore, all they have done is let my son & me rot without a care in the world until his safety is a VERY serious issue, not good enough. Ts Paed has now advised that we up his Risperidone med to 0.3 twice a day and we will discuss how things are in a week, told the SW i am not happy my son is on such medication but its due to professionals failing him for all these years that this is the state of him and thats why i am VERY angry at their treatment of us and Ts needs as all this could of been prevented. I was advised by staff at the hospital that T being in social services care is better if i cant cope with Ts difficulties and worried about his safety, what a ###### joke! how can that be better for T? So what he wont be like it in care then? and what the hell would that do to his mental health with the state its already in?! I said no way am i giving my son to strangers! I told them i will do what i have been doing and i am very concerned about his safety and no-one knows him like me & his family to be able to deal with him. I have heard a few parents say on forums their child has been into hospital due to simialr situations and i cant remember much about it, does anyone know much about having a child hospitalised? i will hunt around to find posts i have read in the past. I am absolutely worn out and my head is pounding like it has been for many days now, is nice to be home but i still fear each and everyday because the state T gets in is VERY scarery for him and for other people including myself, his role playing is rife he was a few new people while we were in hospital, names i have never heard him use before like Tim and when the registrar asked him his name on Friday night he told her its David!! T has been 4 people in the space of one morning while in hospital and boy did i know about it if i called him T, i wont ever play down Ts problems because they worry me a great deal and i know he has very complex problems in a lot of areas and yet it seems of no concern to anyone but those who love and care for him. Bambi x

T is EXACTLY the same he wants total control of what is going on around him and he doesnt accept praise all the time more often not, i just feel i cant win and im treading on egg shells now thinking is he gonna lose it or not Sorry no advice but it seems very common for ASD kids. Bambi x

Awww hun <'> >< <'> That can be men!!! (i wont say all, as i dont want to offend any men on here) when the going gets tough it takes a lot more to make us women sulk and feel sorry for ourselves and as u know we are capable of handling colds but with men they are dying when they have a cold! Anyway i just wanted to say maybe he needs to come out of it and is dealing with it the best way he knows how, i agree with Bagpuss when the kids are asleep have a talk. Take care Bambi x

Awww so pleased for u well done ur son May many more words follow Bambi x

:groupwave: fantastic news!! so pleased for u all good for you to keep fighting and yes we ALL must continue to fight, our children need us Bambi x

Awwww hun <'> >< I know how u feel and i do hope that SS can help, yes i too feel like they need something to happen before they will act! We can only but try and im wishing u all the luck in the world that they do help asap Thinking of you. Bambi x

Awwww hun what a proud mummy u are indeed!!! Bless him and may many more words follow Bambi x

Awwww hun <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< I know what u mean all day today i have felt so tired an worn out and done nothing!!! Bless u and my heart goes out to u, i know how hard it is and im glad nick gave them what for!! well done him! If u ever need me send me a pm anytime i know im low like u but hey we are all in the same boat here. Bambi x

Wishing u luck that ur SW meeting goes well today hun, my thoughts are with u <'> >< Bambi x