puffin

This sounds bizarre - does the school mean that you can be in school in the "wrong jumper" to do "voluntary work" but not to continue your education???? I don't understand the logic in this at all? What does your solicitor say? I think it might be best to talk to a local college or find out if there is an online option that you could take. Have you/your family been in touch with ipsea - they may be able to advise - especially given that you have been excluded over a jumper www.ipsea.org.uk

One of the things to look into is whether the Independent school is willing to put into effect the support that your child needs - does the school know anything about ASD? Have they experience? - does he need an LSA/SALT etc - who will pay for this? The Local Authority cannot force an independent school to provide this. - Some independent schools are very focussed on exam results - how is it at this school would this type of stress environment suit your child?

How did your meeting go?

I agree - email them and ask for the proposed ammended statement within a week - they are playing games with you now Have you been in touch with IPSEA?

Some countries already have this - Sweden for example - although all cases of bullying cannot be prevented the Swedish law places a duty on schools to have proper anti bullying and anti discrimination procudures in place - and if incidents occur there is a duty to lauch a thourough investigation where all sides are interviewed and to take rapid action to deal with the problem. In the Swedish case schools that fail to act can be reported to the school inspectors or the Child and pupil Ombudsman who has powers to fine schools that fail to comply and damages are awarded to children who have suffered systematic bullying or discrimination

I is always tough when people don't understand - many uniform suppliers have become obsessed with cheapness/stain resistency - my daughter had an allergic reaction to an item she bought from M&S uniform range as it was coated in teflon - I could never see my AS daughter wearing any of these uniform option. I really sympathise as a quick trawl through some uniform websites does prove your point that burgundy school jumpers appear to be a hard commodity to find as most stockists only have red, black, blue and grey in nice fabrics and other colours such as burgundy are acrylic It may be a good idea to look in "workwear" sections of stores as plain cardigans appear to be in fashion for workwear this year so perhaps you might find something suitable. Can to wear 100% cotton cardigans/jumpers? I have found one 100% cotton burgundy cardigan - that you can order online - but it's actually from a MENSWEAR range - although the style is also feminine http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/se...mp;cmpId=kelkoo Also Landsend - is worth a look - I am currently wearing their "Yoga pants" to work as I have psoriasis and many of the synthetic fabrics make me come out in a rash - litterally they have a soft supina cotton jumper in "red grape" - which must be like a burgundy http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-V...mp;origin=index or a cardigan http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-C...mp;origin=index Anyway hope that you find something - still can't beleive that the school is prepared to jeapodise your education over a cardigan colour-espcially haveing let you wear the cardigan for a year - I'm sure that the head of your school would have had a cow if he saw what my DD 13 AS/ADHD wore to school today - bright pink embroidered scoop neck cotton T shirt - bright pink and oragnge check (very!) short cotton skirt - bright pink leggings - no socks - ECCO sandals

I find the whole situation absolutely absurd that they are being so inflexible over the clour of a jumper. I thank god that my kids attend non uniform schools

Trying to decide about DD1 - going a little back and forwards - but now we have a not home from school which has to be returned in 2 days - they are starting vaccination in mid october

Are you sure that you want your child to be in this school? My DD 13 AS/ADHD was placed in a class with a teacher who refused to support her AS needs - they also removed access to a quiet room which was a major self calming mechanism and the situation escalated into pyshical bullying by the teacher who strangely enough was the school's self professed autism expert (who bother to ask her calmly and clearly to do something when it is quicker to physically drag the child around) - things just became a negative spiral until one day we just decided that enough was enough. Since she moved away from the class to an SEN unit - she has not looked back academically or behaviourally - I think that the teacher's behaviour directly contributed to the breakdown at the placement - out kids need consistency - yet she never knew how the teacher was going to react. Funnily enough she didn't have this problem with the non "autism" trained staff - and the SEN unit arrnaged for her to attend classes not taught be this teacher (music, drama, woodwork, textiles).

I think that the teacher's behaviour is outrageous she is setting your child up to be bullied - I think that you should contact the head at once I would be seriously questioning why your child's coping mechnism - a quiet room - has been taken away when it is obvious that he is not coping. It sounds as though the teacher is not making reasonable adjustments - it might be a good idea to contact IPSEA for advice http://www.ipsea.org.uk/ It sounds as though this teacher has no clue how to deal with AS - are you sure that this is the right school for your child

I think that the best thing to do would be to make an appointment with the teacher and talk over things - and perhaps talk to whoever is in charge of special needs at the school (SENCO?) to see what support might be avilable. The most important thing is to guage how you think that your child is coping. Are there any specific problems that you have identified that you think that your child needs support with? Does he seem happy about school? Are there areas that you think need more support? It was a little unfortunate that your first contact with the teacher was when she was in a rush - it's a common misconception that the teacher is "free" when the class go home - but the staff don't end their day - often staff are re-deployed to other classes, or having meetings booked or may even be running a lunchtime club and have less than 30 minutes for lunch. It's positive that there are specilists involved - and perhaps things like a home-school book would be a good idea where the staff can note important information about your son's day and you can write back with any questions and queries Is your child on the SEN register?

You say that you were "disappointed" that she was so young - do you think it's posible that she picked up on this and thinks that YOU don't like HER? TBH I don't think age has much to do with it - my DD AS/ADHD had her worst school experience with "experienced" teachers - the worst was one who regarded herslf as an autism expert! Why not ask her for a meeting to discuss the situation - perhaps she doen't know what she can say in front of other parents - perhaps she hasn't actually read the paperwork on your child Talk to your child - is he happy/or unhappy? Perhaps she feels a little out of her depth if she does not know much about ASDs - you could perhaps offer to give her information about your son if she needs any If your son seems OK at school - then I would wait and see

Hi! I used to find that M (AS/ADHD) used to be more prone to anxiety and tantrums when tthings were a little chaotic and were not predictable. We had this with the school where there were 4 regular classroom staff all with different classroom rules and approaches. However given that this seems to be a problem with you at home - it could be that part of the problem is that you and your husband seem to have different routines - for example with you he gets a warning before and with your husband he does not always. It might ease the situation if you and your husband could agree to some standard routines for morning/night and then stick to them. I think it is also very important that you both try to stick to simple and direct language about what you want your son to do. Many children with ASDs are very sensitive to stressful situation and too many demands or additional bits of information can cause sensory overload and possibly if he is anxious or stressed it could result in him interpreting something incorrectly (assuming of course that your DH didn't actually mutter something along the lines of "I hate when you're like this"). Even if you don't feel it - try to keep very calm and just repeat what you want him to do. I would recommend that you sort out the time out thing while he is still young enough for you to manage. We used to put M in her room - saying that we would come back when she calmed down - actually the tantrums all but disappeared when we started doing this - as there was no continued verbal communication to keep the tantrum going and they tended to die down quicker without an audience. Anyway good luck - hope that you can get some peace at home

Hope Ben is OK - is is a big plaster? We are also a bit blasé these days about broken arms - the past 6 years - M has had 7 breaks including one memorable Christmas with 2 breaks.... However M also thought is was worth it as she got a present from the hospital for being treated on Christmas Day I think the hospital staff were starting to suspect us - but she's never broken an arm at home - mostly at school in fact - we had to go for a orthopaedic consultation - but they came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with her bone - she was just clumsy and fell awkwardly

Many schools don't seem to focus at all on the child's support needs - even if they sometimes pretend to Ms Mainstream school called us to a meeting to discuss the recruitment of a new LSA to support M and asked us to identify the 3 most important things. We identified: 1) ASD/Aspergers experience - especially with older primary school pupils as M was an intelligent 9 year old 2) Good ability in maths becuase M was ahead and the way that the teachers had set up the lessons meant that the LSA was responsble for most of the maths teaching 3) a keen interest in animals - especially cats - which was Ms big interest at the time So who did they appoint? A woman - - who had no ASD experience and whose entire experience was as a child-minder to under 5s - apart from 6 weeks with a 7 year old where the arrangement broke down after 6 weeks for unspecified reasons - zero ability in maths - could not manage year 6 level and refused to help M when they were wroking together - could not speak English either - was actually allergic to all animals..... It was a complete shambles

We had a bad experience of this when M was in mainstream - M (AS/ADHD) was around 2 years ahead of the class in Maths and English - there were also 2 children with learning difficulties. The class (not in UK) got absolutely fantastic funding - there were 2 teachers - to plan and support the ability range in the class - one of the teachers was a maths specialist - and a TA with an A-level education. There were 15 in the class. However the way that the teachers chose to run it was to focus their efforts solely on the average ability of the group. The 2 with learning difficulties were forced to leave within one year. When I looked back at her last IUP it was clear that none of the extra teaching resources allocated to the group were actually benefiting M. All of her Maths and English lessons were supervised by the TA - she actually received no actual teaching for maths at all for 2½ years. The final term in the class was spent practicing SAT test papers in a separate room with the TA - which he was unable to mark so he handed them in to the teachers - however none of the results were evergiven to M - nor extra help. When she transferred to an SEN unit the teachers went to ask for copies of the SATs papers and marking sheets etc so they could identify what level she was at in maths - the teachers replied that they had thrown away her work unmarked..... Therefore for M the use of the TA seriously disadvatanged her education

So real advice but given that my own DD1 managed to jump out of her bedroom window at the age of 2 - despite window locks - I can understand your worry. Luckily our hous was on the side of a hill so the drop was only around 6½ feet - but still scary - although DD1 was oblivious - mostly proud of her own cleverness. We have also had other incidents like the time she fell off the top of the wardrobe having climbed up the shelf side like a ladder; the time a bookcase fell on top her aged 6 when she tried to do the same thing and the time I saw her over 40 feet up a tree. What is your main fear? That he will fall of the ledge or fall through the window?

We don't live in the UK but have recently had a holiday in the UK at Center Parcs which worked out very well. The weather was not great but that doesn't matter for the indoor activities like the pool etc. Also DD1 (13 AS/ADHD) could choose what she wanted to join in with and we could choose to eat in/eat out - so while her sister did some of the other activities - DD1 was not forced to do them. If you don't think that your child would cope with flying perhaps somewhere accessible by ferry/car would be a better option as at least you can walk around and play games

M had it when she was 8 - it took around 18 months for it to disappear completely

Spare a thought for us please Over here we broke up on June 8th and do not go back until August 18th - that's over 10 weeks.....

Glad that things are improving

A Common Law detention is not the same as a dention under the Mental Health ActsIt is very rare these days for Doctors to treat a patient under the ever since the judgement in the Bournewood case by the European Court of Human Rights - using the common Law deprives the patient of most of their rights under the existing Mental Health legislation: - it is saying that she lacks any capacity to make decisions - under the common law there is no right to review or repeal of detention - the common law these days is usually only used as a temporary/emmergency measure - for example In A&E while waiting for the psychiatrist to arrive or while the hospital are preparing to go to court http://medlaw.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/repri...e=mfc&rss=1 I'm a little surprised to hear that the hospital are proposing to use it as I beleived in most cases it had been superceeded by the Mental Capacity Act 2005 http://www.mind.org.uk/mind_legal_emailer/.../feature_05.cfm You might want to take some more specialist advice - perhaps the helpline at one of the mental health charities such as MIND

I think that you are very right to be concerned if staff are gossiping publicly about named pupils - is appears totally unprofessional I would recommend a letter to the Chair of Governors and perhaps the LEA

I really feel for you that it is terrible that the charges have been dropped in this way - however I would still be inclined to go after the school as it the school that have acted disgracefully in this case. You could consult a solicitor to see whether you can sue the school for breaching their duty of care to your child - especially given the previous incident it is shocking that this boy was allowed on the trip and incomprehensible that he was not supervised at all times and allowed to be alone with your son.

I know that it doesn't solve the problem but perhaps the best way forward is to deal with it one step at a time and see if you can deal with the bit that you find most problematic which is the pee being flung out of the window The latex gloves sound like a good idea as at least it gets him into the bathroom peeing in the toilet If he won't go for this idea would he pee into a cup in the bathroom and pour it in the toilet and bin the cup? - you could buy some cheap plastic/paper party cups and leave them in the bathroom for this. However it sounds as though he may need professional help to conquer this