Bard

Hi pearl. that's sort of what happened to me. I used to post here a lot, then I had a lot of things go very badly pear-shaped in real life (not linked to my son), bad stuff at work and other nasties crawling out of the woodwork. I couldn't be positive enough to post here, as a teacher or as a parent and rather than be unhelpful or paranoid I just stopped. It seemed a better choice than any of the others, although I'm delighted Baddad and pearl have more backbone.

ASDAN

My son is in mainstream, has a dx of Aspergers and is now in Y9. He tried French for a year and got increasingly stressed about it, couldn't remember vocabulary and was bewildered most of the time. By the time he got to Y8 and the school added Spanish, he went into controlled lockdown and spent the lessons drawing and not talking. By mutual agreement, and with a very co-operative school and supportive SENCO, we changed things. He can manage Spanish more easily, it makes more sense to him. He dropped French and is now on an ASDAN course, bronze level. ASDAN is usually taken by children with learning needs to the point where a GCSE course would be of questionable value. B can do the work without difficulty, but it also involves lifeskills, co-operation and some level of interaction which he is finding sufficiently challenging. So he helps the others academically, they help him socially. Inclusion is not about the school making him do everything because he should. It is about adapting the curriculum for every individual to give an appropriate choice. If B's school can do it, there is no reason why your son's school should not look around for alternative possibilities.

I'm really proud of B. He could barely read at 7, but his latest choice is Lord of The Rings. So that's what I'm re-reading at the moment so that we can talk about events and characters and he won't keep telling me off for having a poor memory.

That was fabulous! I've printed it off and laminated it for my house notice board, so I can feel the weight of parental responsibility whenever I pass by. At least it shows that all our safety nets and procedures work, if mum wasn't in for any reason, he has a key and he'd have waited. He still thinks it's funny and keeps asking me when he goes back to school in a ponderous and lecturing manner so I can say 'Monday' in a subdued and sad voice.

That's fantastic news, fresh air, exercise and cash in the future! Yeah!

Well, new term started. He's spent ages not shaving over the holidays, had some serious face-fluff going on. Very proud he was. I shaved him thoroughly last night, sorted out all his new stuff, reminded him of the new teachers and all that jazz, made him go to bed earlier than usual. Hauled him out of bed at 7am, fed, clothed and out of the door before 8. Then I went to work. Got a phone call message at 10am that began "It's about your son' 'Oh God, already?' You know what's coming, don't you? Ever sent your child to school on the wrong day? They don't start til..... Monday. He went to my parents' house and they phoned my school. The only thing he pointed out was that he could have remained bearded another 4 days, and he missed his whiskers. Ho hum, a good start, no?

I have a wonderful mother who sews, she says it makes her feel nurturing and grandmotherly. I drop off the items and collect them a day later. all labelled with real sewn-in name tapes. She also alters trousers to fit. And she worked out how to label football boots I pay her in second hand books and cider, it's an excellent arrangement.

Fire and/or decapitation. Next! Did you think I spent my evenings creating intricate macrame pot hangers BD? I've always loved stories, legends and monsters, warren's approach is distressing the traditionalist in me. Like that episode of Buffy when she used a rocket launcher on a demon...not fair play.

Know your monsters,warren! Vampires like silver, unless it's the wrong shape. It's werewolves and silver. A growing lad could get eaten if he gets it wrong, even with a rifle.

Works for me.

Go for a total makeover. Face transplant.

Have a pome! Greedy Dog This dog will eat anything Apple cores and bacon fat, Milk you poured out for the cat. He likes the string that ties the roast, And relishes hot buttered toast. Hide your chocolates! He's a thief, He'll even eat your handkerchief. And if you don't like sudden shocks, Carefully conceal your socks. Leave some soup without the lid, And you'll wish you never did. When you think he must be full, You find him gobbling bits of wool, Orange peel or paper bags, Dusters and old cleaning rags. This dog will eat anything. Except for mushrooms and cucumber. Now what are wrong with those I wonder? James Hurley

Good find, but no. It was the long woffly one where many of us contributed our thoughts and experiences on being married to an Aspie, with or without a dx. Bid was part of it too. There was another couple, 'Lonely Aspergers wife' and 'Is your partner on the autistic spectrum?' Got the titles, can't do the links!

We had a rescue cat that had belonged to a couple of very young Americans. He came to us having lived on pizza, burgers with onions, and chili, which we had to wean him off slowly as his health was dire. he like jalopeno peppers too. We accidently found out that he liked coca cola, which was also a no no!

Tally, I can't find the thread we had running a while back about loving an Aspie, and it might be useful. Do you think that you might be able to?

Would he accept water play equipment instead? Trays and containers, pumps and sprays? There are a lot of imaginative and interesting toys on the market for using with water, and if he's doing it for the sensory stimulation, he might like more variety than a tap can manage. The website you quoted had quite a lot of suggestions to try, why did you not think that it was particularly helpful?

Can someone with AS love you truly, madly, deeply. Ditto Bid, of course he can. Will he love you in the way that you need him to? That's a risk in any relationship, with anyone, regardless of wiring. You can't make any decisions without ever actually having met the man, so it's very early stages to be asking others for advice really. As a parent, I'd say that your children should be your first priority until they are no longer dependent on you. It sounds as if you have no easy choices, and that whether your friend has AS is the least of your worries.

Bet it wasn't run by nuns then, unlike mine. Due to the 'food' I weighed 6 stone 2lb when I left.

Only sort of spam I can cope with. Horrible, horrible stuff, I'd rather eat 'pemmican, shoe leather, or one's companions'

Just be grateful that you're not female as well. Let me elaborate. I interview extremely well, I have never gone for an interview when I really wanted the job and not got it. Part of that is that I know the ettiquette, the expectations of me and the first impression I am giving. It's a compromise. I'm a teacher and female, so when I interview I consider what I'm going to wear. I've never been to an interview in trousers for example, and I make sure I've had a recent haircut. Those of you that have met me know how witchy my hair can be. * Cries of 'Get to the point, you daft old bat!' from offstage* Do you have any questions? means have you been listening to what we've been saying? Do you have an opinion, a brain, a suggestion, a compliment or comment? Can you think for yourself? Have you ever been to a paper at a conference where the individual says "Any Questions?' and there is a deathly embarrassing silence. No academic I know thinks 'Oh wonderful, I've totally satisfied my audience' They either try a bit of desperate pantomiming 'Oh yes you have' or shuffle off, head down. Several people here have said that they think of a couple in advance, nice generic ones. I think that is the best solution. Being as I am very ancient and still in the same profession, I am often now confused by the number of bandwagons and acronyms that I'm supposed to know, use and understand. Do you know your teaching WALT from your WILF from your learning intention or objective? Sadly, a lot of jobs have hoops to leap through, and it begins at the interview. Learn a stock question or two, don't worry about why and life will be less complicated. I'm currently trying to help G find an interesting hobby or two for her UCAS form, because having excellent grades isn't enough now to guarantee a place at uni. She needs to be able to present herself as a well-rounded and interesting person on paper or she may not even make it to interview or offer. Hoops and fashions.

Not at all, it's one of those training them for the real world steps. I know a number of people who have resident teens/20s who work, and pay board and lodging. The most efficient do it on a percentage basis, so one friend has 4 'children' all of whom pay different amounts. The fifth is on an apprenticeship and doesn't get charged. If he's choosing not to go back to college and complete a course but to get a job, then other circumstances may change too. It's not really about the money in most cases, it's about respect and appreciation and being part of the team as a family. I know that I would happily expect a contribution from either of mine if they were living at home and working, and I would also expect them to see it as fair and reasonable. Work with him on pricing up how much he'd have to pay if he did indeed leave; rent, utilities, food, laundry...at 17 he's probably never done it. It is a real shock. Good luck with the huffy temper tantrum!

Are you sure? Was it perhaps the deceased Dr Seuss, wearing an Alan Sugar mask?

Battered Spam...hideous flashback to Boarding School in the 70s. The absolute nadir of culinary experience.

That's what I tend to bear in mind. My son is 13, loves baths and can play in them for hours. He needs support with running the bath to the correct temperature, and the amount of bubbly stuff to use. Now the support has dwindled to me yelling Check the temperature! Are you watching the water level? Enough lollygagging, get in the bath! Only one box of playmobil! and other stuff along those lines. He also needs reminding to wash with a flannel, but it is just that when he's in the bath he forgets what he's supposed to be doing and just enjoys playing and the sensation of being submerged in bubbles...we've all done that I feel. I shampoo his hair and rinse, otherwise it goes in his eyes, but that's it. He hates showers. We're getting there slowly but surely and the amount of support is reducing by the month.