Bard

Whenever B has had a meltdown, it has manifested itself in violence. I can almost always identify the fuse that lead to the meltdown. The stimuli that trigger a meltdown, as opposed to just getting cross and frustrated are linked to his AS in most incidents, and when they are not there, he is not aggressive or violent. So we must agree to disagree BD, B's incidents of violence are linked very strongly to his AS in my opinion. That doesn't mean that I excuse them, or avoid dealing with them, just that I understand that if I wish to prevent aggression, I need to give him alternate skills and strategies to deal with situations and individuals, or remove the stimuli, or accept that he will meltdown and deal with consequences when he is calmer. Without the AS, I don't feel that he would be any more violent than the average NT boy of 13 from a similar socio-economic background and family.

Thanks people, we knew that something was on the cards but we all thought it would be in the late summer. B has been fantastic, going back to an empty house again after school. His Gran came home to a little note and all the washing up done and put away. She said it was like having a house fairy, albeit one that can eat an entire melon in one sitting! She had left him a note saying 'help yourself to a snack...'

My dad has just had an emergency heart bypass operation, and he made it off the table. Still unconscious and in ICU, but it's a start!

A few years ago, when my son was in internal isolation with the head teacher, the Head of Governors came for tea. And she looked at him, doing his work, and said in hushed, pitying tones ( because she'd see him before) ' Oh dear, what sort of family does he come from?' And my head told her. Knocked her stereotypical response on its *rse. I would love the opportunity to be bone idle but have never been given the chance. I was and am the parent of an academic high-flyer and a social success, before B. And we have many degrees in this house, certificates, doctorates and awards and all sorts. From real universities and everything. My little sister was a social worker and they don't know everything, or sometimes anything.

B's not really bothered about this sort of stuff, I must have the only aspie on the planet who doesn't like computers and would rather hand write a project than do a power point. But my G is 17 and still loves Pokemon. Can list every attribute and attack, every evolution and detail. Scary, she's been like this for a decade!

Do you need some chocolate hev? or a hug? <'> Or a drink? Or a chocolate beer served by a Chippendale? Or Baddad in his Tony Soprano mode to send Steve's dad a horse's head? What would cheer you up the most?

OK, you posted much faster than me bid! Wew, I fink it as to be sed in estury English... She's called caff. So you was rite mumble. It's very hard to get children to spell in English, many of mine are happy using wiv sumfink er uvr and numerous other variations. At least as it's phonetic, I can often work out the meaning. But I also have a boy who spells with a Trinidadian accent, and that can be trickier! And just in case anyone takes offense, the ones who speak posh in my class spell parst, farst and can't discriminate between our and are.

Have a look at the Y3 paper if you can, not much opportunity to use maths language and reasoning. Some of mine jumped from a 2c to a 3b. The QCA should be backed up by continuous teacher assessment. If you aren't convinced that he is at the level they say, and think they might use it against your case, tell them that you will be asking them to produce evidence other than the test that he is. That will be in his maths book that he has been working in since September, if he's mainstream, he's been doing maths for around 45 mins a day 5 days a week. The school should be keeping records based on the key objectives for his year group, so you could ask to see those, or arm yourself with a set and see how you think he is achieving. The test is only one piece of subjective evidence.

I have moved over two dozen times in my life, from Army brat to now. Throw out/recycle/Charity shop anything you don't need before you pack. Give things to friends. Pack your books in wineboxes free from the off license. They are the right size to manage without straining your back. Label everything clearly, so that you don't have to open eight boxes to find a corkscrew or a towel. Fragile stuff, label on all sides of the container! Tape doors and drawers of furniture shut. Pack as much as you can in advance, stack the boxes and drape them with a colourful throw or blanket, so you are ready and waiting to go. Make sure you have what you need for the first week separate from the rest, so that you don't need to unpack everything in the first 48 hours. Remember that takeaways count as food when you are too tired to cook. and... Throw away any boxes unopened after the first three years after you've moved. Whatever was in there you don't need!

Gotcha you chicken! That would be: 'Come to my arms, my beamish Bard...' But you're running scared in case hev sees, aren't you! And of course, to me, Beamish is a museum.

In my family what you are doing is known as Jabberwoking. And you will continue to wiffle and burble until someone locates a vorpal sword.

That's one of the poems I know by heart, along with 'Ballad of East and West' and lots of his Sussex poems. And the GOM will be pleased because it rhymes. This is another one I love: Sonnet 29 When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries, And look upon myself, and curse my fate, Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd, Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope, With what I most enjoy contented least: Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, Haply I think on thee,--and then my state (Like to the lark at break of day arising From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate; For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple By Jenny Joseph When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves and satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells and run my stick along the public railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and pick the flowers in other people's gardens and learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat and eat three pounds of sausages at a go or only bread and pickle for a week and hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry and pay our rent and not swear in the street and set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. I love this poem too, so please don't be cross that I've corrected three errors. It's too good to be misremembered! It's my model for the future.

We'll get him at Greenwich and give him a makeover. Start planning your redesign of BD now, if it involves more than paint and tweezers with a bit of hot wax, there's always my trusty Swiss Army knife. I'm sure your YD could come up with some pictures we could work from.

Hev, the children I've known who have chosen to take a different name have used it as a way of moving on and redefining themselves. When I read your first posts about it, I hoped that that was what Steve was doing, new start and new school and seeing that many choices are his to make and under his control. It's always hard and painful to grow up, especially for those who haven't been loved by a birth parent as they should, He will come to realise that you and Katie and Nick are his true family, and those that love him come what may, and despite the fact that he sometimes lets you down. You won't give up on him, ever. So a new name is a good thing, and he will come to terms with his father's response because he has you lot to fill the void.

B has had a number of annoying loud or repetitive things he had done through the years that have really been hard to cope with. Grunting, drumming fingers and items on surfaces, I can't remember them all! And yet he would get very stressed over the sound of a kettle boiling, or a laptop hum on standby. Then I met Mumble, <'> and saw how she reacted to some of the noises in the world that I found perfectly acceptable and not distressing, and it made me understand a little about how B interacts with the external world differently to me. And how what to me was an infuriating annoyance was a simple stim to him, and what to me was a background, normal noise was to him unbearable. So now he is encouraged to think of others and do his noisy stuff in his room, or find something else to do. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I know that a lot of people here have had fingers pointed at their parenting skills, and have felt rightly that it was unjustified. That said, my OH was 39 when B was born

Why do you think we have staffrooms? What's said in there should stay in there!

:balloon: What a wonderful achievement! Running is something I do rarely and very badly. Usually only if death is an alternative to not running.

My first port of call for years for my brother's two sparkly little daughters! Lots of glamour and glitter and even pink and purple feathery bits! The range changes so often that every time I could get them something different as an extra treat.

The singing was good, not just me but the reviewers agreed. So long as you remember that it's a story you will be fine!

The school should have a discipline policy that is available to parents. We have our Code of Behaviour and the list of sanctions in every class, so the children are aware of the consequences of their action, and what the next step will be if they continue. I've got Y3 Verbal warning ( sometimes twice, depends on circumstances and the child) (if we're on the carpet, sometimes I make them stand up for a minute here) Move name from happy to sad board Lose 5 mins play Lose 10 mins play Sent to another class for a period of up to 30 mins with work. Lose all 20 mins.Write an apology letter or draw a picture to apologise during your break time Lose lunchtime, outside the office if you are KS2 you stand up. Sent to Deputy Head Sent to Head Head calls parents in for a discussion about incident/s Internal Exclusion Suspension for a day... This process is backed up with talking, unpicking behaviour and what the triggers were. Consistent firm but calm response from all staff. SEN is also taken into consideration, but as a possible explanation, not an excuse.

Well, I suppose that I was desensitised as a child because I was raised on Border Ballads rather than lullabies. Lots of ###### murders to song, and many of them children. Many of them English too, although my dad always claimed that as he had reived my mother from Yorkshire, she was now his property and thus Scottish. But unlike my Dragon Mistress error Sweeney Todd is a known tale. So it's a bit like going to King Lear and being distressed by the eye removals or the death of Cordelia. Although the Victorians did disapprove and wrote a version with a happy ending where she lives and is reunited with Daddy. Don't know how they coped with Titus Andronicus... I suppose the moral of the tale is to check before you go.

I thought Mrs Fussy had one son that she was terribly worried about, I do remember the lady you mean, but I don't remember her name. It will be on the first thread for Greenwich, because she asked if it was OK to come along. Been and checked. The lady was called mrs ddh and was American.

I liked that one too. But I'm currently working through my kung Fu Art Movie collection, CTHD, H, HOFD, LOTRD. And Kill Bill. Oh, and speaking of disappointments and misleading titles, I remember grabbing a book in a hurry with the title Dragon Mistress. No dragons at all.... just lots of naughty boys being punished for bad behaviour. I left it on the train, on a high shelf.