jlp

PS as for leaving him to make a call - in G's case usually when it's likely he's about to run (and it's not hard to tell) then other staff are made aware and will there will be 2 or 3 members of staff with him - so there can be staff with him and staff to make a call / go and ask the office to ring us if that was needed. I'm fuming on your behalf due to the potential safety issues!

We've been in a similar situation with G last year when he repeatedly ran from the classroom / building and sometimes the school grounds. I am absolutely ###### shocked and appalled to hear that they are going to leave him and ring the police if he runs from school - don't they realise how vulnerable he is? Are they taking full responsibility if he runs on the road or gets hurt in any other way? 8 years old! If you let him out unsupervised I bet you'd have all manner of professionals telling you what risks you were taking! And how tramatic will calling the police be for him? I think if that had been said about G then I would have been unable to leave him in their care since they had indicated that they were not prepared to take full responsibility for him. In our case they tried to talk G back into the building and if he really was about to do a runner away from the gates, then a male teacher was called to physically stop him (bless him he was scratched and kicked). I know it sounds horrible letting someone restrain your child but I'd rather that than he went under a bus while in a mad panic. Also if they're running chances are they are upset and functioning even less well than usual so even less able to keep themselves safe. I hope some other people are able to give you some good legal advice as this is a terrible situation to be in. PS At G's first school he was sent home for hitting / aggressive talk (from age 3) and it does reinforce that they behave this way and they get to go home. Luckily this school do not send him home at the slightest thing - only once or twice for major incidents (and more because he was so upset he needed to be home).

Well after writing a long complicated version of the above in the home school diary saying it might be a sensory thing (I was assuming the teacher has no knowledge of asd) he came out today with his tie on so they're probably wondering what I'm going on about (if in fact anyone read it as there was no acknowledgement). Mel, you may be right - he hasn't had to wear it all summer so it might be just a case of getting used to it again.

G is 8 at Christmas and diagnosed since he was 4 - so years and years of being used to him and his diagnosis. My problem is often (not always but too often for me) when he starts shouting at people / me in public I get upset. I don't break down and wail but the tears often start rolling down my face and I can't seem to stop them. Today in the pool someone accidentally kicked him when swimming. He started bellowing. I apologise, say he has autism then as I'm off after him the tears start. I need to stop this as it embarrassing and upsetting - G never notices - but I keep doing it. Somedays I can cope with continuous mega meltdowns without flickering and sometimes I cry. I've seen a counsellor, referred via my GP, but it didn't seem to help as unless something has literally just happened I forget how upset I get and sat and told her everything was fine so I stopped going. How can I stop crying and why am I still getting upset 4 years on (and more if I count all the upset we had before he was diagnosed)?

Hope it does help, it's simple but did seem to help G (he'd lash out if anyone got too close and used to wonder off too) Strangely none of the other children in G's class have asked (to my knowledge) why he had a chair or an 'area' even last year in Y2 - maybe they just sensed he's a bit different I'm not sure. This year we have neither which is annoying as it's his first year with a statement and it's all in there officially now.

It's a good point but I leave the top button open and tie the tie really loosely (is that spelt right? I've had a bad day!)

We have very similar with G who's 7 and it is hard - I'll ask him something and he'll tell me something irrelevant (and long and complicated!) about his game - Star Wars Battlefront I think is the current one. I feel sometimes that there's no 'real' communication with him and I'd love to hear stuff about his day or his friends or anything actually but it's all game talk. I'm not sure how much other 7 yr olds tell their parents but probably more than I hear from G! Sometimes we have little windows but that's all really. Like your son all he thinks about is the PC and when he's not on it all he thinks about is when he can next get on it! If we go out, even to do something he enjoys he worries about getting his PC time fitted in. I'm not 100% sure how to handle it, I'd hate to hurt his feelings by not being interested in the game but I'm beginning to feel that he needs some gentle guidance to help him socially.

G has been at his school for almost 2 years now (Y3) and has been wearing his tie mostly fine - he occasionally grumbles and once threw his tie in the classroom bin to the outrage of a class teacher but mostly he doesn't comment. This last week we've had a few problems and he ended up going in yesterday without it (I gave it to his support worker but it came back in his pocket so I'm guessing they didn't have more luck geting it on), today he was watching TV when I put it on but came out with it in his pocket again. Now I know this could be a sensory thing but how can I tell if it's genuine or awkwarditis? If it's an ASD issue then I will see if I can argue for him not to have to wear it, but if it is G just deciding he's not wearing it (for example he wanted to wear trainers but this wasn't a sensory thing so I insisted he wears his school shoes) then I feel he should wear his tie. I can't really get him to explain what the problem is and I don't want to put words into his mouth - all he's said is that he looks just as smart without his tie. It's not a biggie really as no-one from school has said anything (yet!)

I don't know if this is very good (maybe she's still too little) but in Year 1 my ds started having a taped square on the carpet which was his square. They said it can very very stressful - where to sit, who to sit next to, others sitting too close etc and this did help a bit. In Y2 he had his own chair with his name on for carpet as he struggled again if other children sat too close.

That's lovely Bard <'>

This week's homework was sent back having been scrumpled up into a little ball, stamped on and scribbled on! And only 1/4 done! Isn't it strange how our children are all so very different but that homework seems to be continuously such a huge issue for them?

I have 2 sons, the oldest has AS. I was wondering about this on Friday as I went on a NAS Help course and of those on my table, it was always the eldest affected.

My son has also just started Y3 and we've always had a problem with him refusing to work, even in nursery he refused to do 'special jobs' with the teacher when all the other children loved to. He's very bright but always underachieving. He used to run out of class everytime he was upset (which was usually every time he had to write something!) I agree that you need a longer chat, preferably involving the Autism teacher as well as she will know exactly what he needs. We've just gotten a statement for my son, he wasn't behind as such but he wasn't working to the standard he could and he had quite big behavioural issues, running out of school etc. People (professionals!) seem very reluctant to advise you to apply too, so go with your gut feeling.

..when you spend 8 months or so wrangling the finer details for a statement, get it finalised exactly right then no-one seems to take any notice of it! Apart from the full time support which has started, there's no 'area', no visual timetable, no home school diary and who knows what else. I know I'm whinging and being pedantic and I'm relucant to complain yet as ds seems to be fine (apart from running away one day but he was persuaded in)so they'll say / think he doesn't need them and think I'm a complaining mother, but it's bothering me. I spend blooming ages getting the statement right.

Really happy for you

You'll get used to the peace! So happy to hear Mike had a good day

Good luck Jen Rose for tomorrow. I remember very well when my ds changed schools almost 2 years ago how terrified he was and how we felt it for him, the waiting was terrible. He settled in and found his feet but it's a huge deal for them and more so with Mike being home for 2 years. The staff sound excellent, really supportive and I'm sure they'll be very aware of how hard this will be for Mike. Good Luck for tomorrow, it will be hard but it will get over with then hopefully every day will become a little easier.

Isn't it lovely when peace is declared even if only for a short time!

Me too - I also need to check every junction / roundabout etc or we'd hit something!

I think you all sound like you're doing great, I fully expect to have huge problems letting go when the time arrives! I was just saying to my Mam today that ds#1s new teacher hasn't introduced herself yet and that really I suppose I shouldn't expect her too, it's not like all the other parents would expect that, I'm just used to making friends with the teacher! There was also something that upset ds yesterday (he said the head shouted at him) and I'm itching to ask / mention it and holding back - I suppose other children get told off (it's possible she didn't shout as ds will interpret a firm voice telling him something he doesn't want to hear as shouting) and it's not mentioned to their parents everytime. It's hard!

We had similar when ds#1 broke his finger (a door was accidently slammed on it) and no-one noticed how swollen it was. It really is heart breaking to think of your child in pain without comfort and maybe without the means to tell someone that they are hurt (it didn't occur to ds#1, he withdrew to his area) Have you rang the school to say he's been to the hospital and what has happened? Our school were very apologetic afterwards and hopefully it means something similar won't happen again - in fact ds#1 was sent home a week later after jamming his hand again (!) just in case, when that time it was fine.

We have real problems with my ds#1 to the point where we went to the Child and Family last year as he was skinny and losing weight - they said to disregard the 'no child will starve themselves' advice as where autism is concerned the child really would go without rather than eat something they physically can't. We were told just to give G what he will eat (also nightmare with regard to his younger brother). G is will only eat a small number of things and often only specific brands and types. I was becoming really worried as I thought his circle of acceptable foods was becoming so small he'd end up with hardly any. However we did back right off and only gave him food he could eat and very, very slowly a few things have crept in that he wouldn't eat before and that I couldn't ever see him eating (tinned character pasta and M&S Spag Bol!) I was a very, very fussy eater as a child (was dragged to the doctors a few times) and couldn't bear 'wet' foods (dinners with gravy. beans, soup etc) or certain things touching. I did improve gradually once I left home and I'd probably pass for fine now although by adult standards I'm probably still quite particular - I can see myself very much in my ds food wise although he wouldn't know obviously how I used to be. Hope things improve for you, it's so hard when all you want to do is feed them some decent healthy food. I hate planning meals in this house.

We've not had too bad a time. Ds#1 exceeded all expectations by going to a playscheme for the first two weeks which was great (ds#2 was lonely though). Then we had a tricky week with ds#2 being ill and a new patio being laid so we were stuck in the house. Then I blooming got tonsillitis for the next week and was ill so stuck in again. This last 2 weeks ds#1 has again surprised us by going to swimming lessons each morning. Luckily there's only 2 other children in the class and he hasn't been too bad (a few outbursts of shouting at the teacher because he doesn't like the arms for back crawl!) Ds#2 has been hard going at the pool side though We've not been too far, the beach, a few parks and swimming and we've had a few tricky times when out - today I had to drag them both screaming from the park as I'd promised to take them home if there was any shouting and they started fighting and ds#1 had already shouted at a toddler. I'm finding ds#2 hardest work I think and dreading him going back to nursery as his friends will have left for school which he's going to be really upset about - he's mentioned seeing one little boy all summer and this boy will have left. He's also very, very hitty and scratchy atm and I just know I'm going to be called in lots. Ds#1 should be ok going back I think - his statement starts in September and he has full time 1-2-1 starting and lots of other stuff. I'm hoping he might start to reach his potential this year.

It's very early days for you and perfectly normal to be up and down. You're pleased in a way that it's not just you being a terrible parent or whatever and that your child will start to get the support he needs and obviously you are upset because then you start worrying about the future and what it holds. When my son was diagnosed 3 years ago I cried myself to sleep almost every night, I worried about whether he'd be able to learn to drive or live independantly, if he'd get married and have children...I was told by someone that absolutely no-one knows what will happen with their children, if they'll drop out, take drugs or become a huge success and although that didn't help at the time much it does a little now. It must be very frustrating to get the diagnosis and it to be the holidays so everything is a standstill for now. I know when G was diagnosed I went int overdrive ringing around, joining the NAS etc, you just feel the need to be doing something. It's not long now though, 2 more weeks and you can ask for a meeting with school to tell them and to ask about additional support. Our area has specialist ASD teachers who liase with school and keep them on track with things like visual timetables, they also can organise 1-2-1 support sessions if needed - maybe your local council has something similar, ours is called Special Educational Need Support Services SENSS. I told my son recently after he spotted me reading a book on AS and asked what it was about and then asked if he had Aspergers Syndrome. We've only briefly introduced it though and read some Kathy Hoopman books together too. We have a slight problem in that G doesn't have the perspective to be able to see things that he does - we read something about someone who often feels angry and he said 'but I don't do I' (he's often furious!) Before mentioning anything official we did give G snippets of information such as him having ears that don't like too much noise. I'd probably tell the others, books for their ages are good. The NAS also does a 'Help 2' course on supporting siblings which I'm going on in September - we're struggling with the little one who is copying (I hope) but too little really to explain why G does things and G doesn't understand why L can be so difficult. There's also Early Bird Plus Courses and 'Help' courses which are a good introduction to ASDs and let you meet other parents in the same situation. Take it easy, it's a difficult time xx

I'm dreading this! G is worse than his 3 yr old brother and flops about, screeches and is generally hyper. He won't stand on the machine that measures thier feet as it's a new one which involves him rolling up his trousers at the ankle! They're be a huge wait this time of year too (wondering about going about 7pm at night, if that will be any quieter?) He goes floppy too. Then there's alway the classic moment when they say 'why don't you go for a walk and try those?' and I call urgently after him 'when you reach the door/shelf/ whatever/ remember to turn around and walk back to us?' (or he'd possibly keep going) and the assistant gives me the horrified 'how neurotic are you!' look. And they both desperately need haircuts too before the start of term sob.