llisa32

Hiya <'> I'm so sorry you had a rotten time last night - I can only imagine how awful having an audience while you were having a meltdown like that must have felt <'> I'm going to hazard a guess about why last night was unpredictable...you have been trying really really hard to be exactly the same as the way you perceive your peers to be in the last few weeks, I accept your reasons for doing so...and I know how hard it is for you in your current enviroment to truely be yourself...but I think that...and a culmination of things that have occured in the last few days probably stored up within you until the only place to go was out! Bit like when I asbsolutely let rip at one of the people supposed to be fixing my boiler a month or so ago...I had a lot of stress going on at the time, from all angles...the gasman I found him mildly irritating one second, the next I found myself literally throwing him out of the house for being a useless so and so! It wasn't particularly that moment with him that had got me so wound up and ready to burst - more like he was the final straw. I think thats probably what happened last night for you...we can all only take so much before we explode. Same with J if he's having a week at skool involving skool plays, sports events and his least fav subjects....I'll pick him up from school and he'll be chatting to me perfectly fine...then the slightest thing wrong at home which he might normally ignore (cat sitting on his blanket) will cause a huge meltdown. The meltdown is then a surprise to me because on the surface he seemed to be coping fine. The solutions not an easy or quick one...if we are overloaded with 'stuff' we need to find ways of either off loading them and making them someone elses problem, or quickly gather up help to deal with the issues so they go away. Please don't feel too embarassed to go out of your door today - you are you, you got overloaded with stress and it all came out - an nt bloke might have shouted a lot and kicked a few tables over. And definately you need not feel ashamed. If people are are concerned and say 'how are you doing ?' you can just say 'not so great, but thanks for asking' Will message you in a sec <'> <'>

Hiya - I don't think there is any 'right' or 'wrong' way to recall something - whatever works in the particular sitution is what I'll normally go for! Example...some people at work I remember their name by thinking about which dept they work for or trying to recall some fact about them or at least first letter of name - sometimes I fail and just have to fess that my memory's not all that! With mums at school I'll try and recall them by remembering which child they have and hoping the kiddies name will remind me the mums name - again not foolproof! I think he's being very judgemental if he is suggesting the way you recall stuff is 'wrong' - if it works why's it wrong? I suspect people have some quite bizarre ways of recalling things - and if it works - who cares! Just to add...he may have just been expressing surprise at yr method - rather than meaning to imply u were 'wrong'

Hi All - thanks for the feedback. <'> We had been thinking of either mainland spain or france - but were previously planning which area based on school first, followed by work 2nd and if we could get everything in same place then we were on a roll!. However...when we planning back then we thought J was dyslexic and so had looked at schools catering for that specifically - so would need to start reseacrh from scratch again . Canopus - would deffo have to be something that benefited all - hence my post - if J's not happy then neither am I. As things stands today it's looking like we will ponder for a while and do some research but make some radical changes on the home front where we are first and see if things can pan out nicely here. So we'll research and see what comes up at the same time as looking at other opportunites/change in this country - that way we'll feel we'll covered all bases so to speak. Baddad - it's J's biological dad I'm referring to re visits as J stays with him 2/3 nights a week - they are like a pair of twins now that J has got older, and are both really comfy with each other - which is great from my point of view and something I'm keen to keep intact as much as possible. J's dad turned down a job in the states last year because of not being able to have regular contact with J - so I know he wouldn't be happy with us moving countrys and it's something else we need to consider. So...I think after more discussions today we're going to put this one on the back burner again for a while and see what happens with the things we've decided to change here. Appreciate all the comments - thanks <'>

Hiya - thought I'd add to my post from yesterday as I missed out a relevant point - I completely forgot that one of the reasons J has been much happier with his swap of form class since J has been that he is now in a class with children all younger than him - although still in the same year. There are quite a lot of kiddies in J's year at the very early end of the school calender - with some of them effectively being nearly a year younger than J (He's an October b.day) Because they are younger and on a learning curve slightly behind the others who are older he is feeling like he 'fits' better into the class - his difficulties with some topics are not so obvious in amongst this set of peers and he feels less like the odd one out. So...they may well have a very valid point. Apologies I didn't say this in my post yesterday - got a brain full at mo

Hiya <'> I think if I were in your position I would argue for him to move up with his peers. From what you've said he certainly seems capable of meeting the academic targets of the next year, and imo he would be better placed learning more social skills alongside his peers. No doubt there will be tricky moments along the way...but I don't see any real reason to hold him back a year - better I think if his communication skills can be honed in on with his peers, they are are still young and all no doubt learning to different degrees anyway. If you're in doubt that the school are wrong I think you need to go with your instinct...if...after more thought you decide school might be right, then thats the right decision for you and your son. Good luck with what you decide - stick to your guns if instinct tells you it would be better for him to move up <'>

Happy Birthday Pearl <'> Hope you get some nice treats <'>

Hi, I wondered what other's might think...for a few years now hubby and I have regreted never trying life in another country and have at times really yearned to just sell up and have a go at something new in a different place - at the moment it's probably the only thing I would regret not having done/tried. We thought seriously about it a couple of years ago, looked at property's, worked out jobs etc...but then it became apparent that J was having some difficulties at school and life in general and thus we needed to focus on those, and so our journey into diagnosis and support etc began. Now...J was diagnosed in Feb, we have adequate support in school at the moment and J's really settled in well since the start of the year. Hubby's having a horrific time at work at the moment and we both work for the same firm so I totally understand his predicament - he's basically due to work politics probably going to get forced to change jobs or look outside the firm. As this is going on the question of trying something completely new has cropped up again - obviously if we pursue it's going to take an awful lot of planning and we're probably talking a year from start to move...but my biggest overriding worry is how would J deal with change on that sort of scale? If we move abroad we'll take my parents and their 2 dogs with us, and we'll be close enough by air for him to keep in contact with his dad (although weekday sleepovers would not be possible). I know he'd miss his dad terribly at the beginning - he'd miss the routine of what he does with daddy and his things at that house etc, but would that ever wear off? Would he get used to holiday visits instead? I guess...after all my above rambling what I'm trying to get to is ...is this something I have to put off till J is much older? or would it be better to go now before puberty sets in? I hope I don't come accross as a selfish mum wanting relentlesly to pursue a dream...I don't want to relentlessly pursue anything if it comes at the expense of J's happiness, but I'm in a real quandry trying to decide if this level of change is something he could ever cope with. Any thoughts gratefully accepted!

ooooo - jealous!!....Hope you all have a lovely time <'>

Hi <'> I think it's irrelevant what the students got told not to do in terms of actual specific examples. They were told not to bully you and they will be fully aware of what that meant - they now just think they are being clever.. I'm not sure why you say their actions wouldn't be significant? - it would annoy and upset the hell out of me and I'm sure most others. I think you should tell the halls manager - otherwise they win. You tried to be nice - they didn't take their chance Tis just my personal opinion <'>

Good luck - hope it goes well <'> Ps - ignore mumble and her flying tips!....she's not what I would call a 'calm' passenger All planes have two wings I promise, and contrary to what Mumble says...they are usually not wonky!

Hi Elun, I can only try and guess how you are feeling right now <'> But....I think you will cope if you proceed and you do end up with a diagnosis ... <'> you'll cope because you're an excellent mum, whose already shown great strength, and somewhere deep within you'll find that extra bit more strength and carrying on coping for both yr kiddies. <'> It does sound like he might be on the spectrum, and if he is having some difficulties at school then a diagnosis if relevant will hopefully be helpful. He will still be the same ickle quicky boy that you love...and you'll continue to love him just the same - you know you will. I think you might regret it if you cancel the appt - what if a year down the line your son has more difficulties then at present? - you'd have to contend with a whole bunch of mummy guilt then I suspect. I fully understand your not wanting to find out, and only you and DH can make that decision about wether to go or not....so long as you are both fully happy about which ever decision you make then hopefully things will pan out fine. If you go for the appt, and you do get a diagnosis at some point, you can just keep it in the back of your mind for a while whilst you digest and decide what next. Good luck with whatever you decide <'>

Thats great - glad you finally got the answers you were looking for

Yey!! - great news It's fantastic to hear about his becoming more and independant - gives me something to aim for <'>

sorry guys - not being much use on helping others at moment, and now need to just have a HUGE ...... ARRRGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Annoying selfish relatives!!....same for computers!!!! same for work!!!!!!!same for banks!!!!! same for household appliances!!!!!! ARHGGHHHHHHH Phew!! - think that about covers it!!

Hiya - very best of luck for tomorrow <'> It sounds like the the Ed Psych and Pead are taking your concerns seriously - I'd ignore the school/nursery's current opinions - we all know how uninformed some of them can be! Stay calm but firm tomorrow - it maybe they decide your son is a little young for a firm diagnosis yet but they can agree to monitor and request structures be put into school etc to assist in the meantime. In your chat tomorrow why not mention that the school seem to think this is learned behaviour, and that you don't agree - and give your reasons why not. I've leant now that a mum's gut feeling is not often wrong, so just stay firm and calm and I hope some positive things come out from tomorrow. It does sound like they are taking a proper interest if they have already confirmed an appt with the school Best of luck - hope it goes well, write yrself some little bullet point notes for yr discussion tomorrow if u think theres anythink you might have forgotten in yr report to ed psych. <'>

Hope you had a lovely day and enjoyed the cinema <'> J wants to see son of Rambo this week too so let us know if you enjoyed it!

Hope you're feeling a bit better SG - can u ditch anything thats not absolutely neccessary to get done/do - the standing for election maybe?? You mentioned you were kind off talked/forced into it - maybe you could say 'sorry but I do not have enough time to commit to it at the moment...' I'm just thinking it's one less thing to worry about and give you a bit more 'space' to focus on wedding and coursework. <'> Hope things queiten down a bit for you

Hope tomorrow goes well Pearl <'> <'>

Hiya <'> I think because you are 'waiting' to hear some news back from your sis you're probably feeling a little in 'limbo' at moment and hence no feelings you can 'define' are coming forward. I certainly do not think you need to feel guilty for not being there - it's pretty usual for family members to split 'duties' when theres a fair amount of travel involved - as there would be for you. Plus you yourself have not been that well lately either.. You know your sis is there doing the 'duty thing' and if anything 'happens' she will let you know...there is nothing more you could do really. Certainly do not feel guilty - there are plenty of us with parents who do not make good patients, and we do our best to share em out amongst whatever other family is available!

Hiya <'> Good luck with today, we know he's not the best communicator in the world so the most likely reason for his non communication is just 'he's been a bit thoughtless' Just be honest today - express yr concerns, say you'd like to move on, and then get stuck into some academic speak As for those who ask where you have been....you have been pretty poorly, so I see that as the truth, and no reason for you to feel like you're telling any sort of lie Very best of luck today - once you've got in the building it will likely feel like you've never been away Take care and speak to you later <'>

Hiya - only just read this...hope you are feeling better now <'> I noticed one of the other posts mentioning Fibromyalgia...I have Fibro and have suffered with the pain of costochondritis - u have my every sympathy cos it does flippin hurt! <'> Reason for my post if that as well as taking painkillers and rest etc I also see my chirpractor and i've found that to really help ease the pain a lot quicker. Might be worth you looking at a chiro if the pains still pretty severe this week <'>

Thats great!! hope they were yummy! <'> Was trying to teach J how to do toast this morning but he's just taken the choccie croissant option instead

Thats great news Flora long may it continue

Awww....had to post! Theres been a lot of advertising in our area lately about 'social care' jobs and in one of the adverts a social care worker goes with an autistic adult to the first day of their new job. J just saw the ad on telly and came running down to me in the study saying 'Can I get a social job mum??....I said what do you mean a 'social job'??....he said...well...there was this advert on the tv about a social job and the guy had autism...but maybe its for adults??'' I said well yes....it's to help adults with autism start their first jobs....aww he says..I wanted to do that and school!! Thats the first time he has used the word autism since we discussed his diagnosis with him a few weeks ago - he didn't quite get the hang of what the TV ad was saying, but a cute start I thought

Just had to post!! ....J managed to get through performing the last 2 nights! - he's worn out but no major meltdowns so far which is great He broke up from school today and he's gotten a couple of certificates for acheievement!! - One for french and one for overall school progress/effort!! Just shows what a difference a bit more support in terms of understanding at school can make! I'm sooo pleased....I asked j if he was pleased when he got presented with his certificates in school and he said 'I was surprised!!