llisa32

Thats great news! - Glad it's going well <'>

Hi Matt, Having read through your thread again I have to say that you do sound depressed....you may well have AS, but at present your 'symptoms' appear to be depression. You have mentioned yourself 'a lack of motivation', 'no sense of purpose' 'going to bed feeling depressed' etc. I know this may be hard for you to accept, but really....in order to help yourself you really need to take onboard the help the GP is offering you. Anti D's are not a 'quick' fix...they don't help you feel bouncingly happy within a few days, but they would over the course of a few weeks help you to feel more 'balanced' and perhaps feel more inclined to research other avenues re an AS diagnosis. If the pills don't work, go back and get different ones, request some counsiling. Being AS does not automatically 'result' in poor motivation, lack of purpose etc....but depression does and can co-exist with AS so you do really need to explore this avenue. I suspect your GP is unwilling to progress anything about seeking a diagnosis for AS because the depression may well cause false positives or false negatives in any assessments for AS. Take a read back through this thread, you do 'sound' depressed..and I know you blame this on doctors not listening to you, but whatever the cause I think you really do need to get some help with it. You've been given lots of really good advice from others on here - many of them with much more experience than me. I think it would make a great start to your week if you go back to the docs and say 'okay, I accept I may be depressed - what help can you give me for that? - and start there. I realise you might not be happy with what I've written, but it is said with the best possible intentions and with your welfare at heart <'>

HIya - just wondered if this was a common problem and see what anyone else does about it. J is absolutely awful at 'leaving' parties, playdates, playgrounds etc - infact anywhere he's having 'fun' The tantrum he throws is more in line with a 4 year old even though he's now 8 He had a playdate at someone's house over xmas and despite me being told in the pm when I rang to check on him that his manners had been fantastic, and he and his friend had played really well together all day - he completely lost it at 'home' time. As soon as my hubby turned up to pick him up he started racing around, refused to put shoes on etc - then just had a complete paddy and wouldn'ty let anyone else put his shoes on either - got completely red in the face. In the end the mum had to coax him into the porch with my hubby and shut the front door on em He had a friend over to play today and when it was time for the friend to go home we had similar again - cept this time he ran off with his friends shoes! - I got them off him and hubby ushered kiddy out the door cos he was taking him home - j then tried to run out into the wet path after them - I grabbed hold and then had a 5 min session of him trying to kick and punch me. I distracted him with something and 5 mins later he was fine! - when i just said to him why did u do that he said 'cos I didn't want him to leave'. I keep explaining to him that all things have a beginning and end, and we've run through a zillion times how playdates work, what people do when it's time to go home etc, and we always give him a count down, but.....still we get a paddy. Do other people experience this - does it get easier with age?

Hiya - sorry you're having such a hard time <'> If I read what you have written as an 'outsider' I would say that is anyone needs to be losing sleep and fretting, it should be your ex. His behaviour is completely and absolutely out of order I think you have a case for stopping access unless he promises to act like a mature grown up rather than a kid thats lost his dummy. His behaviour may hurt you - but it hurts your daughter first...she must be so confused hearing him say all this stuff, and hence you then get the fall out. I think these are the points you need to make to SS in a calm and 'neutral' tone. You have tried to get mediation, he's obviously not interested and it's him that is causing this diusruption...not you not coping.... Your daughter has way too much being said to her, which is probably really difficult for her to make sense off - hence the meltdowns and rages etc. If he can't act like a mature grown up then his access should be suspended Is there any chance you can get Cahms to put it on record that you requested mediation etc? I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh re your ex but when adults 'use' kids as a way in their own minds to 'get back' at other grown ups it totally makes me mad. Hopefully SS will prove helpful to you in this situation - you've done nothing wrong, and if your ex wasn't being a selfish idiot your daughters behaviour would not be so disruptive. Keep notes of every conversation that you get wind off, and see what Cahms might put in writing to you. Good luck, and keep being a good mum <'>

Yep I agree with all of you! And I haven't yet told the LSU that actually no one else thinks J has 'Dyslexia' - only them....... I'm saving that for when we get full diagnosis in Feb - then do it all in one go! I confess I might enjoy it just an ickle bit

I'm glad it seems to have gone well so far, and great that Steve said it's better than old school Hope you all have a good weekend <'>

Well.....J's school weeks been going extremely well <'> and I just had a chat with LSU today to make sure they'd been given a copy of the Ed Psch report. She did have a copy which was great...and then we got into a discussion about what the Ed Psch believed diagnosis should be etc etc. I told her that the Ed Psch is quite positive that J has aspergers, but that we have to wait until Feb (after SALT assess) for 'official' diagnosis. She then said - 'hmmmm....well...I don't know about that...yes I can see a couple of 'traits'...but J has a sense of humour and thats not usual with aspergers'......so off i went and found the nearest brick wall in which to rest my head! Now....I know from you guys on here - both parents and grown up aspies that there is indeed a fair amount of humour to be found - anyone know why peeps believe if you're AS you don't have a sense of humour??

Hi Mel, J's been having the same trouble - his dad created something on excel that you use on the PC - I'll mail it to you if you'd like to see it Basically all the tables going down in a column - it goes green if you're right, red if you're not, and you can leave it come back to as often as you like - so it never actually feels like 'wrong' if you know what I mean. Pm me if you'd like it <'>

Hi - my son and his dad have had hours of fun with Mario at the Olympics and Mario super Galaxy! Enjoy

Thanks all for the replies <'> Quote of the night tonight from J: 'For some reason school is easier and I like it better!' - yippee says mum!! I spoke to his new teacher tonight and he's been using his 'workstation' himself when he needs to concentrate (for english) and sitting back amongst the group for other lessons. Yesterday he told me he'd been sharing his new pencils with the girl sitting next to him and that they had a 'system', I said, oh, thats good - so you were using 'teamwork'? - J said....No...I wouldn't call it that!

Thats fantastic!! Huge well done to JP Long may it continue <'>

Hope he settles soon J's mum and that he feels calmer for tomorrow <'> Good luck - hope you manage to get some rest <'>

Hope it goes well Hev <'> I can imagine how you'll be feeling on Wednesday - I'll have my fingers and toes crossed! <'>

I am very relieved to share the news that J enjoyed his new class today!! We had asked that he move to the other yr 3 class in the new term as it was just not working out with the old form teacher and we were having school refusal or refusal to do work etc nearly every day - resulting in a very stressed out J. I met with the new teacher last week before they went back to school, today (she actually used to teach him for a couple of subjects in yr 2) and arranged that he went in early today before the other kids to pick his desk, get aclimatised etc. One of the lovely peeps on here had done me a visual timetable which I laminated and J proudly put on the class noticeboard this morning. When I picked him up tonight he was the most relaxed he has been after school since Sept!! huge difference And he said he liked his new class 'better' - when pressed for a reason he said that it didn't matter in this class if he wrote one word answers!! - and i think if the teachers patience continues and he feels comfy that he's not gonna get into 'trouble' for not writing 'enough' then longer sentances will follow!! So...one happy mummy and happy kiddy tonight - phew!! - might actually do some work tomorrow!

Weyhey!! - well done!! Did you have to 'force' yourself, or once you'd 'decided' it was okay? Did you like the combined taste?

Hiya - OGB = 'Official Good Guy' I'm definately finding this all very interesting....J has a very large head and was one of the reasons he had a difficult birth - well...main reason actually! - Ouch! I was asked about his head size during the DISCO assessment, so it does seem to be a possible 'indicator' Also interesting that quite a few of the boys are above average height

Hi <'> Don't feel bad - you lost yr rag, we all do, and you said something not nice - we all do <'> honest <'> Get a quiet moment with her later today and just say 'mummy got a bit cross earlier and used naughty words, and she didn't mean to. If she doesn't know or recall what you said, but then asks 'what did you say?' just make a silly word up - if she does remember just say grown ups' sometimes use that saying when they are cross and you didn't mean to say naughty things. Chances are she won't either recall or be bothered - it'll just be you <'> mummy's guilt huh? - theres nothing else like it! Don't be hard on yourself, you've had a lot going on lately - enjoy a cuddle with girly later <'>

Thanks all for the lovely replies <'> I have done some retail therapy this morning!, and J's in a pretty cute and calm mood, so we're all just 'pottering' about this pm - have even managed to 'loose' hubby for a couple of hours (he's gone out visiting relee's) so just nice to 'potter' and interact with J when he wants to beat me at playstation! Gonna do some pampering next, and will then have another read of all the suggestions and plot my work for Monday Thanks again <'>

Thanks both <'> And I have finally just found a ref doc that I'm happy with the content that I can share with some teachers! Have been surfing for ages, some docs have been i felt too generic, others too specific and for me personally I felt a little misleading. Have just found this one - some wordings a bit 'american' but very happy that the content adequately describes many of the difficulties J has in a school setting, many of the strategys also tie in with Ed Psch advice too. Here's the link incase anyone else wants it: http://www.researchautism.org/resources/OA...de_Asperger.pdf

Hiya <'> Well......my positiveness has gone!...the last couple of months in particular with problems at school and all the various assessments have officially worn me out! I would gladly have postponed xmas if that had been possible - and that makes me sound like a right grumpy so and so! I'm really run down, my hairs been falling out, my bones hurt and I'm knackered! - yep I look and feel great Doc says I've just got run down with virul infections and need to relax! - struggling with that one as likely we'll get official diagnosis end of jan and got one more assessment mid jan. J's changing classes at school next week as old teacher was just not finding a way to communicate with him and encourage him etc, had the ed pschs report to discuss with the school today and after that it just hit me how little the school knows about AS, and the types of misconceptions people hold about what it means - both teachers and family. I'm running low on energy but know I've still got a bit of a marathon to go - J had a couple of major paddy's today, both because he was worked up a little about going back to school, and out of pschn cos of holidays etc...he was worn out afterwards and now I just feel so sorry for him - sometimes he must just feel so lost to get so frustrated and I kinda wish we could just run away to some sort of pokemon land! I'm swinging from feeling really upbeat that we've made such progress since April in terms of getting a diagnosis and various help/support etc, to feeling really down about other peoples lack of knowledge and understanding - I know I should be more patient about that given my own lack of understanding when I joined this forum...but guess the current lack of energy is causing my low level of forgiveness! And I can't sleep tonight! - hence ended up back on here! Phew...feel better for getting that all out...thanks for reading <'>

Hi Mumble/Pearl <'> Mumble - I don't think you've made anyone feel unwelcome, you were fairly direct in your post and I don't think you meant to be as 'black and white' as it may have come across (feel free to correct me! I think that individuals who self diagnose as a way in which to better understand themselves, and whose lifestyles mean they can live a happy and fulfilling life without an 'official diagnosis' are quite correct to do so. They don't need a diagnosis because they don't feel the need for any external support etc in order to live (in terms of full and happy adult life) I think you mean that for individuals who clearly are in need of some support/proper guidence etc a 'official' diagnosis is the better route to take as then the various difficulties that individual has are taken fully into account, and the more adult's that are officially 'diagnosed' the more seriously the condition will be taken....and hopefully that will also equal more funding in the future. I write this also thinking of my son's dad.....he is also most likely AS, but even after J's diagnosis, I know he will recognise himself in there, but I also know he will not want to pursue a 'official' diagnosis because he is happy with his life as it is and does not feel the need to have anything 'official' - but again, like Pearls aunt, he does not require nor need any external support/assistance etc. I think the older the adult, the less likely they will seek a diagnosis - depending on difficulties obviously. Hopefully I got what you were saying correctly, and Matt...I think what we're all trying to say to you is please do pursue a diagnosis, even if the professionals you have come across thus far have not been overly helpful. It;s likely that along the path of getting diagnosed you will come across some professionals who can and will help you. <'>

Hi, I'm just curious really....In the Ed psychologist report I got today one of the things stated/commented on was that 'J is a tall boy for his age' I don't see the point in mentioning that unless it's in some way relevant to ASD/Aspergers The Ed psch is quite certain the diagnosis should be Aspergers but we will not get an 'official' diagnosis of anything until the final assessment is complete in mid jan. Are many of your kiddies very tall/above average height for their age? Thanks <'>

The only paste J will use is one from superdrug - 'strawberry glitter gel flouride toothpaste' Nothing else will do and def NO mint of any any description - least this ones got flouride in it though

Yey!!! - I am liking this New Years resolution of yours!! I am officially available for 'practice!' <'> I'm not sure if it's just an ASD thing, may also be confidence as my mum in law is also petrified of speaking on the phone and hence conversations with her on the phone are very short - often just a quick exchange of info and she will very rarely if ever leave a message on a answer phone. But....she used to 'never' use the phone, so I think practice with short calls with peeps you feel comfy with will be helpful. J stuggles with 'holding' a conversation on the phone, but we know what sort of questions to ask him so as to get some conversation from him, but some days he won't say much except 'hm hmmm, yep, hm hmmm, and so on I think it is one of those things that requires 'practice' in short bursts until you get more comfy You may never hold the record for worlds longest telephone conversation (thats mine!! ...but, I am sure you can get to a level that will make your life much easier and give you another outlet for communication and so on My phones on, I'll put it on mega loud ring tone so it makes me jump outta my skin - hows that for a deal! <'>

Dear all <'> .....I'm gonna have to be a wuss and poke my head briefly in this door, say my hello's and then run for bed! Have been up since very early and now seeing double! - and it's not alcohol related! Have to say a huge thank you to all of you - you've been a great support to me over the last 6 months and it's been a pleasure to be part of this forum <'> Hope you all have a great evening, and here's a toast to you all Nighty nite <'> Have fun