hollymg

Our son was followed after age 1 for speech (or lack of LOL). I *knew* he was at least close to the autie spectrum all along (no eye contact or cooing as a baby was an early sign to me) but he wasn't tested until age 4 and then the official red flag that got them to do the evaluation was his continued obsessions (started at 9 months) with electricity and appliances. They said he had them fooled for those early years because he made good eye contact and was "connected" (some of the things they watched for in our evaluations was how he asked for help, pointed out things to me, etc).

For about a year my ds slept on the floor, we tried several things to make it more comfortable (gym pads, etc) but it seemed more for our sake than his because he had no complaints. I have no idea why he started this and the only reason I can think for it finally ending was when he got a new bed with a headboard that had a shelf for all his gadgets (lights etc). So I guess all I can say is as long as HE is comfortable and doesn't complain that's all that matters...as long as he SLEEPS (which can be hard sometimes!) then I consider myself lucky! (I type at 11pm with my NT 2yo, very sleep-resistant dd on my lap thinking she is sneaky for tiptoeing out of her bed and coming out here...) And anyway as I recall from my very distant youth, aches and pains only come later in life!

Our news is getting very critical of the administration as well. Yes it was a horrible natural disaster but we are all increasingly horrified and angry as the days go by and the response is not improving. This is the poorest region of the country and the situation is getting increasingly political. Citizens are pouring money into the Red Cross and I have friends in Houston and other evacuation areas that are stepping up to the plate, but we can only do so much without leadership and I am ashamed. I appreciate your updates on how the news is playing out overseas, so far it sounds like you are getting the same news we are. Since we often have hurricane preparations here I now have to keep reassuring my son that we're still in a safe enough spot that our house won't blow away! I think he understands...

I wondered what kind of news the world was getting on this. The hurricane was originally supposed to come here (I'm 5 hours east of Louisiana) and have a BIL in New Orleans, but luckily he evacuated to my MIL's beforehand...since he just has a bachelor pad he hasn't lost much materially. Friends in Gulfport still have a home (the lucky ones) but are trying to keep out looters and are also trying to figure out how to get asthma medication in since they are out of gas and can't leave. (they have a generator and are emailing). But beyond the initial catastrophe, as the days have gone by we are increasingly horrified at our inability to deal with it. I did not vote for our President and now I'm even more embarrassed that he has represented us with such hubris in the world and we have handled things so badly at home. 4-5 months is a very optimistic prediction and I'm thinking it will be at least a year, so I hope you can make alternative travel plans! Sorry, I know this isn't what this board is for but it is very much on my mind!

I think trying to poo with the nappy AND sitting on the potty is a great suggestion to show him it can be done? Association is a powerful thing and if the nappy is still in the picture it might help the transition? I wouldn't give up with the reward tho. Seems like maybe just one success would be enough to get over the hurdle. So I might take off the pressure totally (don't know how it goes in your house with your involvement in getting him to try) but keep up the reward offer--eg quit talking about it but buy the golf club and put it on a high shelf in the bathroom where it can be seen. Continue the nappies but the club is up there whenever he wants to try and go on his own (assuming he REALLY wants the club?), and as soon as there is evidence in the toilet he gets the reward. This is pretty much how I did it with Andy when he was 3 and totally potty trained except he would still bring me a nappy to poop in...the first reward offer didn't work, but when I figured out he really wanted a spot scrubber vacuum I put it up on the shelf and he was trained by the end of the week and we never saw a nappy again.

I'm surprised how many American shows you watch over there! I like British night on our public TV station on Saturdays with As Time Goes By and Keeping Up Appearances. I haven't seen the original UK Ricky Gervais The Office but the American wannabe isn't half bad, surprisingly because we usually mess things up when we try to copy your hits. Desperate Housewives should start back up soon (here anyway), woo hoo!

Unless I missed a post I guess I'm the only Yankee here. Florida, US.

My AS son is amazing in that he will try almost anything and sometimes I wish he had a favorite I could fall back on! (except juice, he has a Super Nose and can't stand the smell LOL). Now my NT dd OTH is currently eating only sausage and vegetarian chicken nuggets, has been like this for a year, I have no idea why she is so healthy...

As a parent of a soon-to-be 6 year old my #1 request of his upcoming teacher is a time he can come before school starts to meet her, see the classroom, and have her walk him through her rules, expectations and what they will be doing. I learned from last year that this simple thing made ALL the difference in the world on how school started and progressed from there. I sent her a letter this week and hope she responds to it positively! Bravo to you, I wish they were all like you!

My son is only 5 but the way I see it I just have to help him through the tough school years because it is my belief (and what I've heard from others) that once he is older and goes off to college etc it gets much easier because he will find peers who are passionate about the same things he is, and he will find friends with more common ground. His preschool director said she believes her now-adult son would have been diagnosed with Aspergers if the times were different, and that he made it through high school by doing things like swim team where he could be with other kids and part of the team, but working and competing individually. Now he is an engineer with Boeing and doing quite well. And BTW yes Bill Gates is married and has children. They say silicon valley is the Aspies paradise LOL. Everyone is different and I know there are tough times ahead, but I have a very optimistic outlook on the long-term view.

Gosh my son is easy to shop for LOL, but of course not from the toy aisles... He currently wants a phonograph player (must have a stacking arm, 33 45 and 78 speeds, headphone jack...), ABBA movies and CDs, and that's just off the top of my head from this afternoon. He just discovered an actual toy he spends time with that I plan to buy more pieces for called Capsula (I think that's it) that is great because it is a building toy with mechanical parts, but big enough that his little hands can keep up with his brain. Does he have any obsessions even if they aren't along normal kid lines?

Mine is 5 and I still do it half the time. I try not to engage in a battle, I just set it up so he either dresses himself or stays naked. Sometimes I'll help him but if he fights I stop and tell him he's on his own since he didn't cooperate. He's picky about his clothes so when he tries to make me his valet and retrieve his clothes I purposefully pick ones he doesn't like so now he knows to just get them himself. It has been LONG time of doing this (I think I started almost 3 years ago when I had to do things one-handed because his baby sister wanted constant holding!) but gradually he is getting more used to just doing it himself because that is easier. Granted these techniques don't work if you are in a hurry to leave the house in the morning, so my confession is that he sleeps in his clothes (comfy knit and sweat stuff anyway of course!) and we just don't change in the morning. Shoes and socks are still my pet peeve because of the sensory issues and Mom just can't get it right, but again I've set that up so that if he wants to go with me he'll do it quickly on his own, otherwise he stays home with his dad (and that has never happened, he always wants to go with me). I really tried to get him to wear sandals all summer so I wouldn't have the sock/shoe battles but he is splinter-phobic and wants his feet covered. BTW shoes are not laceups but just slip-on, and he still has trouble that the back doesn't get folded in. Long diatribe but you aren't alone! Not sure what to do with swimming except try to enlist the help of a patient and willing staff person in advance and have it pre-arranged so there isn't a scene that makes him stand out any more than is necessary.

Used to be the Food Network but now it is HGTV (House and Garden TV), the most normal/kid shows he likes is one called Cyberchase (math concepts in cartoon form) and one called George Shrinks (2-inch high kid and his gadgets) on our public education channel.

Now I've finally got my dd going to sleep before midnight lately, I was having trouble retraining myself so now I'm taking melatonin and it REALLY helps me. I am taking 3 mg about 30 min. before I want to sleep. I do it another night or so and then I think I'll be ok without it, it is really a matter of re-setting my own body clock. It does no harm or have a lasting effect--I think it just tells your body it is time for sleep so I'm not sure if it will help if your problem is more along the lines of not STAYING asleep once you've gotten there but it is certainly worth a try. I hope it helps you!

I'm so sorry! The funny thing is that in my household, I would thoroughly enjoy holiday with my AS son because he wants to do interesting things. Other than a rough patch when school first gets out because of the transition issues (here we have a 3 month summer break), the nightmare you describe is purely what I get from my NT daughter! (2.5 years old). She is wild, stubborn, and reason to put rum in my coca colas some afternoons. The two together bring out the worst in each other so even if she is only going 2 mornings a week in August and will miss her big brother, just having 1 will make such a difference. Hang in there and hide those scissors!

Andy has been doing so well lately that I'm noticing something in particular that seems to be really hard for him and I'm sure it is a common trait, and it seems like something somebody here can help me understand better from his perspective (and even give suggestions on how to help him progress?) When he is doing as well as he has been lately, nobody can tell there is anything different about him--he has been very social and conversant out in public and adults have been delighted with him....UNTIL they very normal conversational practice of following up with a question. Such as he'll be telling about something and they ask something like "and then what, what color was it...", you get the idea, and he totally shuts down. Sometimes he'll lower his face and point at me to answer for him. Really I'm so proud of him for getting to this point I suppose I shouldn't nit-pick, but it is a problem with people like my grandfather who think my son hates him because he ignores him when he tries to talk to him. Any insights?

This is so minor I'm not sure I should be posting it, but oh well here goes. He's only 5 so it is probably a little early, but piano lessons seem inevitable in my family and he has been expressing a lot of interest lately in wanting to play (he is impressed with Benny of ABBA LOL), so it is in the back of my mind. Has anybody had an experience with this good or bad, and suggestions? I have always been fascinated by the Suzuki method but it is more auditory than visual (according to my limited understanding anyway) so I don't know if that would work. What should I be looking for? What age? I'm worried he'll be too shy--the teacher will probably think he is ignoring him but then he'd likely practice in his room alone...

Just read about a store 10 hours away specializing in autism and other disability paraphernalia, and was curious about what kind of items they would have. What products do you find useful and where do you find them, and what do you wish you could find? The only example I can think of in our life is the never-ending quest for soft long-sleeved tshirts and comfortable socks. I've solved the shirt problem at the moment with LLBean, and finally got him in sandals for the summer LOL. Saw some seamless socks online but they were very pricey plus had expensive shipping charges so I haven't tried them. I remember a year or so ago I thought a sand timer might help with some things, but again when I found it online in one store the shipping was a killer and we found another way...

I think every parent has had moments where they think their child has just become unbearable only to discover that the child was getting sick (at least *I* have!). We do our best but we can't be right 100% of the time! Hugs to you and don't beat yourself up.

It's so nice to come here and meet other people going through the same thing. My 5yo ds--who insists on long-sleeves--recently began this habit out of the blue. His sleeves are in shreds, but I can't throw them away because he is so picky about his shirts I'd never be able to replace them (as it is I have to do wash a lot because he only has 3 currently on the acceptable list!). This post made me notice that it has eased or possibly stopped recently, and now looking back at the onset/stopping I think it was the stress of school getting out and summer starting.

Really interesting and something I've wondered about (but I'm not advanced enough probably to make sense of the documentation!) Ds has been obsessed with purple for the first 4 communicating years of his life and we didn't know if he got it from being with my purple-obsessed mother or if it was his natural favorite. Turquoise is his back-up color when he needs to be more gender-appropriate (I'm easy-going but feel I have to help him not stand out too much at school and it is so hard to tear him away from a purple flowery shirt found hanging in the girls' department!). The color connection really helped otherwise when trying to get him to wear new clothes but now he seems to be fading off of it and says blue is his new fave, although he doesn't seem as "into" that color as he used to be with purple...

Hugs to you! My 5yo (just turned five last month!) has the same feeling as yours, but luckily for me he isn't as fierce about it. I just take an attitude of it not being an option although I was sorry he felt that way, tried to point out seeing his friends (he finally found 2 children he sort of connects with!), etc, but truly the saving grace for us was having his dad drop him off. For some reason he clings more to me and makes a scene (maybe because I'm the softee?) and with his dad it is all business. After the holiday break this time, when he went back yesterday my husband said he just waved and walked right in. My son does still take his stuffed comfort toy with him, if that helps at all. (Not sure how we'll do without it next year.) It isn't easy, my son says it is the separation from me/home that is the only issue, but I know it is also transitions in general. Unfortunately I signed him up for 3 mornings a week instead of 5 which probably doesn't help, but at the time I thought it was enough time away from home before "real" school starts next year. Good luck to you, wish I had more advice but you certainly aren't alone. My main consolation is that after protesting how much he doesn't want to go, my son does come home enriched and on the whole he is a happier guy when school is in session. I'm already dreading summer... (laughing to myself that your son's name is George, that is my son's name-of-choice lately and all his papers come home with George written on them, all the parents think it is so funny and ask me about it...).

It is so interesting to read all this and feel better prepared for what may come, instead of being clueless I hope to remember this and perhaps have an a-ha moment where I can understand and help! At about age 3 (pre-diagnosis) I actually took Andy to the doctor about his eyes--and I'm not one to rush to the phone to make appts--because he always complained about the sun most of all and sometimes light inside. To this day we still call the walks from the car to the indoors "snuggle time" because I used to hold him and he would shield his eyes in my neck from "bright sun." We were referred to a specialist but of course before I could call he stopped complaining so I never took him in for the next step. Now I read about sensitivities and it is one more piece in the early-hint puzzle, but I wonder why it seemed to have suddenly gotten better for him?

Soooo weird to see this post, it has been over 2 years since I saw the movie (prediagnosis) and out of the blue it popped in my head a few days ago and I thought ta-da, that boy was AS! Now I'm really curious and have to find the book...

I didn't feel drugged when I tried melatonin, it just helped give my body the cue it was time to sleep now after more than a year of dealing with my daughter's crazy sleep cycle messed me up! When I was a pre-teen having insomnia but desperately tired, my doctor told me to take Benedryl (antihistamine). A night or two of that did help break an insomnia cycle. I still do that once in a while as well if I need to.