Pippin

Hi, my son started on half days when the others started on full days. I hated this and we complained bitterly until he was put up to full time. If all children are staggered then I wouldn't mind but, as you said, this puts him apart from the "norm" as soon as he starts school. It also impacts on the rest of your family as they have sprung it on you after you had already made arrangements. Go for 'em!!!

Absolutely. If a diabetic child doesnt produce enough insulin no-one would feel guilty about giving to him, and there is plenty of evidence of children with autism sometimes producing insufficient melatonin themselves. I also felt dreadful the first time I gave it to P (he fell asleep on the lounge floor an hour later) but his behaviour is SO much better when he gets enough sleep. Melatonin has also been shown to have no side effects....unlike alsmost everything else we put into our bodies!!

I suppose it is a very individual thing and also dependant upon the age of the child. I have only once said "I'm sorry, he's autistic...he cant help it" and that was when he was 4 and was having a strop in a soft play area. He hadnt learned to do it for effect yet. Now, however, he's 8, and big enough to understand the difference. Tha parent who complained when he was 4 expected him to react in a certain way which wasnt possible for him then....If they complained now i'd probably agree with them and take him in hand.

Thanks both. I'm used to seeing it as ESL (second language)... usually second to Welsh around here....but I suppose that's innacurate in many cases. It could be third or fourth!

Sorry to be nosy and change the subject Bard...but, what's an EAL??

I really do feel for you, why is it that other people get all "superior" about our so-called "parenting skills". I mostly ignore those who say stupid stuff but I have a couple of stock answers for the most common comments. 1. Well, it's just as well for us that the professionals disagree with you. (hopefully you can use that one soon). 2. Isn't it amazing that I managed to bring up 2 children so differently in the same house at the same time!!! Sometimes I just astound myself!!! (simpler for me as mine are twins!!!). As P has got older I've watched most of them eat their words, and any that didnt...well, I just dont have anything to do with them any more. And don't forget, all of us here know what you're going through and are always here.

Kate said..." I doubt there is a parent here who wouldn't go and attend with their child to help if it were really necessary?" Sadly I have not found this to be the case.(though I'm talking parents in general rather than us here). The vast majority of parents in my Brownie pack are only interested in "dump and run"......even with the "high maintenance" girls. Our cub pack closed because the only parents to turn up to the emergency meeting were myself and an 8 months pregnant Mum....and I couldnt help cos I'm running the brownies already!! On the occasions I have to take my ASD son along to brownie meetings it's hell-on-legs and I cant concentrate on the girls at all, he really needs one-on-one. At the moment I do brownies so his twin sister can go and to free up the old leader to run guides so my eldest daughter can go there. When it is P's turn to go to scouts I will be there for him.....but I suspect that will mean the Brownie pack closes as I'm sure no-one will take over. I'd love to be proved wrong.

The "Education Otherwise" site has a resource section which has some good stuff for older kids. It's designed for home educators.

Just had a quick look through (avoiding anything toooooo confrontational) and I loved the comment from one person.. "If you're not willing to go the extra mile for a child then you're not fit to be a teacher"

How about elastic laces? I've seen them for older people with arthritis and also for runners. http://www.flatlines.co.uk/ You just fit them to normal shoes and then use them as slip-ons. (which most teenagers do with lace-ups anyway!!!....memories of broken backs on shoes come flooding back from my schooldays)

Our son doent get on with the melatonin brand we can get from the Dr so we buy our own. We use Natrol which we buy off the net. It was recommended by his paediatrician before they were allowed to prescribe it. Hope I'm not breaking too many rules by posting this.

I remember taking P for his MMR at 15 months and saying to my husband "well, we wont be able to blame MMR cos he's autistic already". He was referred for speech and language delay at 2 but even then people were saying that when he eventually learned to talk he'd be "normal". We, of course, knew otherwise. His ASD diagnosis was at age 6 but he was well "in the system" by then and its made no difference to his SEN provision. I do think it makes him easier to explain to others though.....one word is easier than a full paragraph.

Brilliant!!!!!!!

Hi, As he's been turned down without any chance of a trial I think you need to speak with your area Commisioner to see if anything can be done. I really hope you can sort this out as I'm sure he would benefit tremendously from going. If you need any help finding out who your local officials are PM me and I'll do a bit of research for you.

Hi, I'm another Brown Owl and can see the problem from both sides too. I've occasionally had to take my son along to a meeting when no-one else can have him, and it's a nightmare. I only have one other adult helper and 16 excitable girls to occupy. I know Scouts and Guides have anti-discrimination policies but please remember the whole movement is run by volunteers. We cant just get someone else in to help with special needs children unless someone volunteers to do so...and that's rare (getting parents to do ANYTHING is impossible!!. Most view it as cheap babysitting). My son will be 10 next year and able to go to Scouts (no cub pack here) but I know he will only be able to go if his Dad goes to every meeting with him. If you think your son could cope without extra help in the group why not ask to stay at a few meetings with him to prove that to the Leaders. Good Luck

Hmm, I'd be tempted to keep an address in the old LEA...even if it's "renting a room at a friends" and just be "staying with my boyfriend" for some of the time. At least for a year or so, until the eldest is out of school.

Oh Hev.....havent they even thought this one through?? What are they thinking of, sending a 13 year old lad out with a bikini clad "babe", especially one with dodgy social skills. (lad, not babe, that is) It's just not fair. Most NT lads of that age would stress out....Hormone city!!! They need to find the poor kid a Bloke.

Hi Curra, Sorry you're having such a rough time of it....both of you. I'm not really in a position to comment as my son is still in primary but I'd be tempted to keep your son home for a week or two (useful timing of half term too) and say it's to let his feet heal. Then see how his stress levels are. I' have a feeling we'll be in the same boat with P at high school and I've started researching home edding already. I dont know whether I could or couldnt do it but I like the thought of not having to stick to the national curriculum with him and only puting him in for exams I think he's ready for. I'm planning some "practice sessions" over the summer holidays when I can get his siblings into holiday clubs or similar......just to see how it goes. Above all, dont let the school bully either of you. He has a right to be treated with respect and he has a statement which the school are obliged to honour. Good luck, Sue

Would his school let you scrounge one off them?

P thought he'd died and gone to heaven when his dad took him to the science museum for a "boy's day out!" Aspie Heaven!!

That's fantastic!! A huge breakthrogh. P still blames everything that happens to him on his ASD so I hope we have a "eureka" moment like that sometime. Brill!

Hi, the lad in question is 8 also..in the same class as P. The HT spoke to him and he apparently admitted it and apologised to P so I'm fairly happy with that. My older daughter says the rest of the school were asked to "be a bit quieter" on the bus (rolling eyes smilie required!!) and our letter has been passed onto the LEA regarding the escort. P travels on the standard school bus and has no escort of his own (he doesnt need one if they dont wind him up!!). I just wish the school would put more effort into teaching kids to respect each other. Well, none of my 4 will be going on the bus til it's sorted out!!

Thanks everyone. Hubby went in this morning to complain (I had to take my Mum for an appointment). The HT agreed to act against the child who hit P and was grateful for ammunition to use against the bus company as there is a lot of unease about the escort. He did play down the bullying in school but I suppose "2 out of 3 aint bad". He wants us to directly contact the bus company too....I'm getting bervous just thinking about it. Ah well!

P was hit in the face by another pupil and left with a bleeding lip whilst on the school bus today. we're going in with a formal complaint tomorrow but, have any of you any similar experiences which could help us resolve this? The escort was useless, by the way. He got out the first aid kit and handed it to P's sister....and did nothing about the incident. I know damn well the school will insist it was accidental but i've had enough of them excusing action against P on the grounds that he "winds the other kids up".

Yeah! This is Swansea's first too...apart from one very good unit for lower functioning children. When will they understand that afew inset days studying ASD just isnt good enough? Sorry for breaking forum rules there...didnt think. PM me if you need the name of the school.