Hectorshouse

I did think about not telling the school that I would have PPS with me, but then thought no sod it!!! told them with a smile on my face, and that she had been contacted at home on her day off as her co-worker believes this to be such an important meeting and considering the recent goings on was totally in agreement that someone should be there with me. Going out now to buy box of choccies ... Have just had copies of the day book and incident log, severe discrepancies between the both, there are not as many incidents recorded in the day book as the SENCO has highlighted on her lovely little colour coded chart, me thinks that she is a little put out by my actions/reactions to her lovely letter and T returning f/t, I will be querying all this as well tomorrow, and they thought they were going to get me cornered ... oh no not likely, I might get worn out and thoroughly dragged down, but I come up fighting everytime. Thanks again, I really need this support, just to know that what I am doing is right helps soooo much. HHxx

and theres more ... but at least its something good this time ... PPS have rung and my PPS lady will be coming 2moro at 9 a.m, it was her day off and someone rung her at home (I think I might need to give her a box of choccies) so huge sighs of relief that I won't be going in there alone. Thanks for all the support by the way, I know this has been quite a long and drawn out thread, but what a bl**dy mess!!! and I didn't make it!!! HHxx

Hi Sel, just going out will be back later hang in there honey, I'm sure that there are many wise ones here who can help ... I'l catch up with you later HHxx

Have added my two pence worth as well. HHxx

OK am totally at the end of my tether ... school have been on again, Ohhh I just love monday mornings ... my bath is run but I haven't so much as put a toe it yet. They wanted to schedule the meeting for 9 am tomorrow, but as I can't get PPS there or my SW I declined ... 15 mins later ... school ring again, they are going to to go ahead with the planning meeting with or without me so of course I have to go, as if I am going to let a meeting go ahead without me if it concerns my son I did make it very clear that I was not happy about going into a meeting without any support, and that any decisions that were made I would not agree to until I had had the chance to go over them with PPS and probably IPSEA and ACE (didn't mention the later, just a mental note for me!). They said that they have to have the meeting then as the SENCO is going away for 2 weeks from wednesday and she would need to be involved etc etc ... didn't seem to matter that she wasn't there for the very first PSP meeting we had (a point that I made to the secretary who had the unfortunate task of calling me). I have just rung back first to apologise to the poor secretary who got the wrong end of my wrath this morning ... but I mean come on, can you blame me, but she was fine, need her on side as she gets hold of all info I need very quickly often above and beyond the call of duty, secondly to ask for copies of the staff room day book for last week, as this was T's first week back f/t and I need to see a breakdown of the lessons and the problems articulated by the teaching staff in their own words, rather than just a concise version according to the SENCO. Any other advice would be appreciated, I am soooo fed up with this, fighting spirit is there but waning ... does this ever end!

FAb news, I am really happy for you. HHxx

OMG I wish I had something constructive to be able to offer, and I thought I had it hard, your poor son and you for having to go through this, and what bl**dy awful children at that school I can only offer (((HUGS))) thinking of you, HHxx

I know here I go again, but after having resigned myself to some time before the statement comes in, foolish me! I have just been up to pick up from school, get collared by the TA with a very distressed T to go and see the SENCO, and then taken up to the HT's office. SENCO couldn't look me in the eye, was very off with me, can't say I blame her, I did haul her over the coals this week. Anyway to get to the point, the SENCO kept trying to say that is was because he was back f/t it was obviously toooo stressful for him etc .. etc .. Apparently T had a stress this morning about registration, didn't want to go - reason being, it was reading, and as he said to the SENCO and HT "I can't blumming read, I don't want to look at picture books, everyone else is reading, I want to read" was crying, scratching himself, pulling at his hair. And all the SENCO could say was we have other books that are easy to read T's response "but its embarresing!, I can't stand it". They have now agreed that on thurs reg he will go to the centre and have supported reading, I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL ALONG!!! Also, the return to f/t has not gone well, no surprises there, but they feel the need to call an urgent planning meeting with bods, fine not a problem, I agree, get home SENCO calls and wants to make it for tomorrow at 10, I'm sorry but no can do, PP lady is off tomorrow, can't get hold of my SW until monday, and that I needed BOTH the people to be included in this meeting. Lots of huffing and puffing down the phone, OK then we'll have to see what we can do. I'm not being stupidly stubborn, but I am not walking into another meeting without support, and I not being steam rollered into anything again. Round and round the merry go round I go, just about had enough, I had to sit and look at my little boy, obviously sooo frustrated, sooo upset, all he wants is to be the same but he can't do the work the same, oh for f**k sake, I've just about had enough

Thanks jaded, yep I am saving my energy now, got to move in about 6 weeks as well, and haven't found a house yet, so that top of my list now, if I can drag my butt away from the puter that is, I hate packing and I'm such a time waster, I keep getting side tracked. My partner has suggested hiding the keyboard from me for a while ...

For the record ... if I haven't bored everyone to death yet that is ... this is the original letter ... "Dear Dr K Re: T I thought you would like to know that T only attending school part time was due to mother feeling that he should only attend to participate in activites that he enjoyed. Even though recently we have had provision increased, she has felt it more appropriate to keep the same level of schooling partly because he tires easily and when stressed his behaviour is obviously more confrontational. We do not see T as a naughty boy and are fully aware of his diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. In fact his keyworker was selected deliverately as she has a child herself with the same diagnosis. All subject teachers have had some training with P B, Coomunication Advisory Teacher, regarding Asperger Syndrome, and we have many strategies in place to support the difficulties he may face. At a recent training course we were congratulated on our provision and the adjustments we have made. I hope this information is useful. From the SENCO ! and cc'd to me, EP, Paed, EDB advisor, AAT, CAMHs, Geneticist, GP, Spec Ed C Hall." and this is the retraction/amended version "Dear Dr K Re: T T was attending school part time after it was agreed at a Multi Agency Meeting that this was the best way forward. Initially, a timetable of mainly one to one sessionsd was arranged involving only subjects which T enjoyed. This was organised to raise T's self esteem and provide him with a positive experience of school. A planned re-integration programme was organised at the next Multi Agency Meeting with a gradual increase of the time T was to be in school. Mrs W attended all meetings, participated in the decision maknig and seemed in agreement with all of the plans of action. We do not see T as a naughty boy and are fully aware of his diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. In fact his keyworker was selected deliberately as she has a child herself with the same diagnosis. All subject teachers have had some training with P B communications Advisory Teacher, regarding Asperger Syndrome, and we have many strategies in place to try and support the difficulties he may face. At a recent training course we were congratulated on our provision and the adjustments we have made. Please find enclosed minutes of the last meetings detailing some fo the provision we are making." (cc'd as above) With a cursary note on a comp slip. NB: Mrs W This letter replaces my earlier letter of 25.5.05, which I ask you to remove from your records as in haste the wording did not reflect the Multi-Agency approach adopted to plan for T's educational needs. I'm not sure what I think about the difference, I'm getting tired and bored you all I'm sure, but what does anyone else think?

Thanks Phasmid and Z, am ready and waiting for the statement, when all this ho hah began back in December I began reading and reading and reading, finding fab fourms like this one, and asking loads of questions. I'm armed with handbook from ACE, loads of info from IPSEA, a stack of stuff from the NAS, all colour coded and organised (god I sound anal but being 'slightly' OCD had its uses). Copy of my well read COP and Toolkit, and DDA never far from my puter. I wait with baited breath, and have resigned myself to wait until 1.7.05, which has a big ring around it on the calender. Thats the due date of our long awaited amended statement. I know, I really should get a life! HHxx

Sel <'> Hang in there, you know where I am if you need to go over anything. HHxx

I think thats the point really, when T was at his last primary school, they loved him and he thrived, admittedly it was only for the last year, but only once before in first school had been that happy, I think it is down to the teaching staff and attitude of the school. I have many times considered T to be like marmite as far as schools go, they love him or hate him, and he can sense the difference. HHxx

Hi Sel, (((HUGS))) I am soooo sorry that you are having such a sh1t time still, and that your home/school diary is distressing you so much. Try to remember that you can use this as evidence of your son's distress and the problems he is having at school. As they have refused to increase the provision you now have right to appeal against the draft statement being issued, but I am a little confused, if I am right the LEA are issuing you an amended statement following the review, how much of this new statement is different from the last one? or are they not amending and just continuing with the orginal statement? If it is a new amended statement then you have right to appeal, if they are not amending and just maintaining the current statement then unfortunately you do not have right to appeal, the only remedy is for you to request a statutory reassessment under S328 of the Ed Act 1996, if they refuse to reassess then you can appeal against this. We had already been refused an increase in provision from our LEA in Oct, and refused an early or interim review, and when the school then put in place p/t schooling in Jan I decided not to wait until the review in March to see if we could get increased provision and pushed for reassessment, as I was pretty sure they would've made me wait until March with no increase following review and I would've had to reassess anyway. This is a stalling tactic, and you are being fobbed off, keep trying to get through to ACE or IPSEA and NAS advocacy. The LEA have to inform you in writing explaining the decision not to amend the statement, within 8 weeks of the amendment notice. Do you have written confirmation that they are going to supply a laptop? if so hassle the person that wrote it. I am thinking of you Sel, hang in there, you are in good company here. HHxx

Not yet, but am thinking about getting it, there is a lot of talk about it on the web and in autism circles, I think it is one that really gets you thinking about the issue seriously. HHxx

Thanks Phasmid, T seems to be settling back in ok, but it is early days yet, he has only had to go to his quiet area once today and once yesterday when he was stressed which was good, but mind you that was according to T, he has also said he hasn't 'lost it' with his TA and hasn't been swearing, but whether thats totally true I don't know. When he gets really stressed the verbals just seem to pour out and he has little memory of it afterwards. I am definitely getting the apology and retraction in writing, yes sirree bob! After what they've put us through this last 6 months, damn right. I am waiting for the draft statement to come through (1st July) and then I will be back into school to go through the records to make sure I haven't missed anything, or that anythings in that shouldn't be etc ... Thanks Suze, yep it has been a hell of a mess, but its sorted, I have been 'compliant' and passive through far too much of this, not any more T has come home with his new timetable, colour coded for easy reference for him, laptop provision marked out, TA provision marked out, 1:1 highlighted, and have successfully managed to get him disapplied from languages, I mean come on he can just about manage English, so all in all it seems like it has been a success! But the proof is in the pudding, we will have to wait and see, what really gets me the most is that this could've been done blumming months ago, there was no need to do this, it has so far cost me my job, my degree, nearly my relationship, and it has cost T his self respect, self esteem and shrunk his already small world beyond belief. I can only hope that things will get better, but we have the statement to finalise yet , and that looks like it could even more fun that this ...YIPPEE!!! HHxx

and to update ... We arrived at school bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8.30 a.m. T was very excited to be going back f/t, I couldn't see the HT straight away, but her PA gave me a copy of the schools complaints policy after I asked for it having been advised by my SEN solicitor (a little white lie, I didn't ask him, but I do have one, just can't afford him) that it was essential that I follow the procedure. Also, gave her a copy of the SENCO's letter. Whilst all this was going on SENCO was rushing about, came to see me and asked if I wanted to talk to her or just the HT, to which she was told the HT! Deputy Head, came to see me in reception, but as he has not been in on any of the meetings unlike the HT I felt it was more appropriate to speak to her. Lots more frowning and staff scurrying about ... I came home and waited, and then got a call from the HT, was able to see her at 11.30 a.m., she was EXTREMELY!!!! apologetic about the letter, came up with some dross about it being the end of term and the SENCO was tired and probably should've worded it better. BLAH BLAH I have asked for this letter to be retracted and removed from all files, as this is a very damning letter and proposes that the current situation is one that I have orchestrated, and not infact that this was a multi agency decision that I have never been happy with and have fought ever since. And if I had known back in December what I know now, I would never have been steam rollered into agreeing to it in the first place. She wasn't happy with T being brought into school out of the blue ... as this has obviously caused some problems for staff ... I did appreciate this, but felt that now they have 25 hours provision and the supposed training required I did not anticipate that there would be any further problems ( I can hope though .... can't I). She also felt that I had drawn T into my disagreement with the SENCO, but I said that this happens every day, when the SENCO tells T that if he's being 'non-compliant' then she will call mum! I also had to see my GP to set the record straight, I do not want any kind of comments on any file that could hinder what I am trying to do, or worse still for these to be used against me. We have all read about the damage done to Debbie Storey, and this letter clearly intimates that this has all been my decision and that I have been using T for my own means. Anyway, waiting for the retraction and apology from the SENCO, T is now at school f/time (YIPPEE!!) I just hope it doesn't all go pear shaped too soon. HHxx

Hiya Faz and Carequie ... welcome aboard, you already know me good to see you here as well. HHxx

zaludoval, hi and welcome, thank you as a parent of one of those involved with the project for coming here to express your opinion, I am glad that you had the same feeling towards the title as quite a few do here (me included) but I had dececided to watch before making any judgements. All the write ups I have read, have been extremely good, and sensitive towards an issue that is still highly misunderstood. Knowing that this is also taken from a child that you know eases my feelings about it greatly, and perhaps makes it more emotive. the title alone has caused some interesting conversations with my son (11 & AS etc ) particulary on the basis of what is 'normal', which is an abstract term and not clear in his often very concrete world. He will be watching with me, as I think it will open up more conversations with him, and hopefully help him to understand a bit more of himself, at the moment he is very confused about his differentness, as he has got older he become increasingly aware of it, and as his peers have got older they have got less tolerant. It will be an interesting evening, I'm sure. HHxx

I must admit I felt uncomfortable about the title, I mean what is 'normal' but that debate is huge! I will be watching though, long suffering one has shown an interest, which is always to be encouraged. T has just spoke to me about it as well, he didn't understand why it was called 'make me normal', his answer was 'I am normal I just have blowups and stuff like that'. HHxx

Thanks for all the advice, as ever always very good. Glad your feeling better Z Just to clarify, we are currently in the reassessment process, draft statement due beginning July, the report the SENCO has is from a referral at the behest of the LEA's EBD advisor who in his wisdom chose to redefine T's dx as ADHD, but fortunately the Psych was able to reconfirm the already very clear dx of AS and co-morbidties (dyslexia/dyspraxia). I've tried getting intouch with the Austist Advisory Teacher, who I am on first name terms with now, and the EP and the EBD bod, but there all on blumming annual leave I did manage to speak to the head of the SEN case work team, as a copy of this letter that the darling SENCO (said between very gritted teeth) has sent to the psych, to let her know exactly what I thought of its comments, reminding her that it was the LEA EBD bod that set this referral up in the first place, and it was a multi agency decision to move to a p/t time table, NOT MINE! But I have left a very nice message on the school answer phone, that T would be delighted to return to full time school as of monday morning, especially as they have the extra provision from the LEA for this now, I will be booking a meeting with the HT as soon as I can get hold of her, and then consider making a complaint through the proper channels. The SENCO also copied her letter to just about everyone EP, Paed, EBD, AAT, CAMHs, Geneticist (I haven't even met him yet!), GP, and Special Ed .... she omitted from her list Parent Partnership and our Social Worker ..... but I have kindly copied them for her myself I am spitting tacks at the moments, bl**dy half term AAAAGGGHHH ... Ok am taking deep breathes again now ... Helen you are absolutely right there was no need for the SENCO to respond to this report, they gave their assessment to the psych in Feb and we saw him in March, the Psych asked me then if I wanted the school to have a copy, and as our relationship has been a bit rocky since T started there I asked him not to. The psych had all the relevant info, EP reports, PSP's, original DX info etc ... as well as the schools own recent assessment, he compiled his report based on the evidence he had recieved and from his very thorough assessment of T. Interestingly, when we had our visit to the Pead, he also put in writing in his report that he felt it was inappropriate for T to only be attending school p/t ... SENCO didn't write to him, I just don't think she likes to be criticised, well she had better watch out on Monday! HHxx on a mission

Our SENCO has received a copy of a confidential psychiatric report that she was not on the list to be copied, and has taken in upon herself to reply to the psych's findings. T only attends school p/t (part of a long running battle with school to acknowledge AS they wanted to dispute dx in favour of ADHD dx which has since been refuted), p/t attendance was agreed at a PSP meeting (Dec 04) by the bods NOT me, the psych picked up on this in his report and the SENCO has told him that it was my decision, and even though we now have increased provision I do not want him to attend f/t as it makes him to tired ... complete bull! I wanted a a gradual reintegration. She also denies that they haven't acknowledged AS, they do NOW but only after having to go through the dx process again! She even says that all teacher have had 'some' training with the Autistic Advisory teacher, teachers had the opportunity of a drop in with him if they wanted any advice ... I'm not sure how many actually did this ... Firstly this report was CONFIDENTIAL and I had asked for it not to be copied to the SENCO, secondly she has blatantly lied about my part and I have minutes of meetings to back this up. Finally she disputes the fact that they see T as a 'naughty boy' ... read the following quotes and tell me what you think ... T is ' non-compliant, rude, shows no respect especially for TA's working with him, although it is noted there is a degree of control here' 'he constantly pushes boundaries, but this has now gone to the point of him openly defying authority and carrying on doing what he wants' hmmmm ... sounds like a naughty boy to me, not a child with AS who is extremely distressed, doesn't understand the work, and has a SENCO whose attitude until very recently was he had ADHD not AS ... I am furious, to put it politely, I saw this woman on Friday she was as nice as pie to my face, no suggestion that this letter was going to drop on my doorstep during half term, PP who were there at all meetings totally disagree with her comments and on her advice as school say it has been my decision for T to only be there p/t even though we now have increased provision, I will be taking T in on Monday to stay f/time, they have 25 hours from the LEA there are no more excuses ... Any suggestions, I am so mad at the moment, everyone of the bods are on annual leave because of half term. I thought I would write to the dir of ed, HT, governors, Head of SEN at the LEA to start with, I am planning a meeting with HT as soon as I can get hold of her. sooo frustrated .... HH

Well done K, what a mission you have undertaken, be proud of your achievements it takes a lot to take on the LEA. HHxx

Go Go Desperate but I think you'll have to change your name to DETERMINED! from now on. It kind of gets you like this doesn't it, one week you can't take anymore bulls**t from LEA or school and the next its right lets go grab 'em by the balls. I wish you every success in your campaign, if there is anything I can do to help then please don't hesitate, your fighting spirit is a big up for proactive parents, and it gives a great inspiration to those who are flagging in such spirit. HHxx

Thanks Phasmid have completed questionaire, nice to see you here from TES, I hope that you will become a regular contributor, I think that you have much advice and wisdom to share. HHxx