call me jaded

My son was at his most 'out of control' at 7/8. I hadn't developed all the coping strategies and we hadn't found the major triggers (food additives for the ADHD side of things in our case). I spent a lot of time researching and looking for evidence of what did and didn't work, trying to find something that was relevant to us. I'm sure if you do your own research Peaches you will find aggression is an acknowledged aspect of ADHD and that psychopharmacology can help (I googled adhd aggression nhs to come up with that word, lol). Top tip with medical research is to read the discussion and conclusions first. I found it helped me in my desire to make an informed choice. The other thing to remember that children do develop and mature although the pace is comparatively slow so what might be inconceivable now in terms of attention span and general 'control' in terms of impulsiveness becomes very much achievable. The teenage years here have been much less challenging in comparison. At 7/8 my son was all over the place and climbing the walls with ADHD, at 16 he is a different person, still with challenges, but nowhere near so exhausting. We didn't medicate, but found the biggest triggers and eliminated them, but I would have been asking for medication if GFCF additive free hadn't worked (in fact I was completely taken aback that it did work). HTH

I would ask what the range of outcomes would be. It could be that someone in the local authority is building a case for funding to come from the health service towards Glen's package of support when he reaches adult services, instead of it all coming from the local authority's purse. To do that they would have to show some health needs (in this case mental health needs). Apparently it only needs one 'severe' in the adult care assessment for the criteria for health service funding to be met. An extended inpatient stay would achieve this. The case that was posted about on here was removed at the father's request, but it seems he has lost all input as a parent into where his son lives. The dad's three day respite break has turned into 9 months (and counting). Crazy and disturbing but perfectly feasible that the situation is being manipulated for funding reasons. As ever it seems the response is offered long after the crisis. I'd try to put it on the back burner until he finishes further ed.

I'm exhausted just reading that! Well done you!

Well she had to win the fashion steaks...

Well done both of you for the hard work that got you there!

Baddad your use of language in this thread is close to baiting other posters. I have gone back and checked the forum guidelines which say that the moderators will err on the side of caution, so I am now closing this thread.

A BIT anal.....! The most exciting bit of telly I saw this week was Kay Burley on Sky News interviewing an MP about journos hacking mobiles and with one eye on her employer saying it was all a bit of a storm in a teacup. "You sound a bit dim, madam, if you don't mind me saying" he replied as he went on to verbally run rings round her. Watching "The Young Ones" last night was fascinating and I'll definitely be following it up tonight. But I have no idea when Cheerios came to the UK. I have a feeling it might be earlier than you think.

I can remember one autistic boy from my childhood. He was in no way going to 'just get on with it'. He was institutionalised when his elderly mother became unwell. My mother and I saw him about five years after this had happened and I would never have recognised him. I'm not sure that there was more tolerance of difference.

We had to be very vigilant with DD1 who was jealous of DS2 from the moment he was born. Left together in a room DS2 at two days old 'fell' onto the floor. No lasting or even short term damage but I was unable to ever leave them together. The simplest way of dealing with it was to make a big fuss of DD1 - 'can you come with me to the kitchen I've got something to show you?'. A little tedious and I never got to make a phone call for about five years! The one and only time I smacked her she had hit her brother in the face with a metal clasped handbag after repeated warnings from me not to do it. Not my finest parenting hour, but the fact that I followed through after a blatent challenge did actually teach her that the boundaries were where I decided and not where she thought they should be. No easy answers as to where ASD fits in (these are both NT children) other than we took a view that any behaviour that would get DS arrested in adult life would be 'punished'. Where we had to differentiate was to make the punishment appropriate to autism, so for DS1 removing him from the room we were in was sufficient whereas DD1 needed lengthy explanation and reinforcement. One of the best books I read on behaviour management was Ross Greene's 'The Explosive child'.

But then again children are not adults and any expectation that they should behave in an adult way is unreasonable. The expectation from SS/CAMHS where there is any hint of one child harming another is that parents are responsible at all times. The other dimension is that Ritalin is as cheap as chips whereas behavioural therapy (or plain old support around behaviour issues) is massively expensive. Being offered 'drug therapy' is far more likely to happen. Given that parents are tired and struggling in many ways thinking of taking up what professionals are ready to offer does not make you a bad parent.

Baddad I am erring on the side of caution and waiting for another mod to be available for a second opinion. ETA: but as no-one is around I've done a quick edit and put the post back up. Can we all please bear in mind that this is a very emotive topic and whilst some here might be able to take a very dispassionate view for other posters it an extremely difficult and emotional subject. Again, can we please try to keep to the original topic about what we want from education for our children.

WE are are DEAD posh as we were the first people we knew to have Sky and I used to come home from a hard day's shopping to find various members of DH's football team watching the Sunday match, usually with a pile of kit going through the washer/dryer. The number of Man Utd fans that would just be dropping by...

As ever it is the squeaky wheel that gets oiled, unfortunately. It's a nightmare start to the term for the entire school but you just need to get it on record that there has been a distinct deterioration in his ability to cope because of all the changes.

Vinyl's coming back, so my uber-trendy clubbing nephew was telling me. My dad used to develop and print his own photos. We were laughing yesterday about our 'darkroom' which was the cupboard under the stairs with someone holding a blanket over the door so that no crack of light could get through. Your arms would really ache. The prints were black and white and tiny, about 2.5" square. My mum still has loads of them - Sunday cycle rides to the countryside feature quite heavily and the fashions are hilarious. We get our children to make little films on holiday. It's lovely to get a child's eye view.

Could you name the town? I might be able to put it into our local newsletter.

Welcome! Sounds very liberating! Hope you achieve your goals.

Moderator comment: Can we try and keep the thread 'on topic' by posting about what might help the OP rather than getting distracted by other posters comments? If anyone says 'pot and kettle' they'd be absolutely right!

I think it's almost impossible to compare. In the UK we have lots of 'free' services (tax funded) which are only worth something if you access them, have help with housing and other living costs and where I live free local public transport. My own son is low functioning has an education placement that costs £70,000 a year plus a taxi there and back every day. £120 a week disability living allowance from which I use £50 to buy a brand new seven seater car every three years at highly subsidised rates, and since he turned 16 we lost £20 child benefit but that has been replaced by nearly £100 a week allowance. I would never complain about the benefits we receive. It hasn't replaced the income I lost when I had to give up work to look after my son by any means but it does make a difference.

On my holiday (the only time I read) I galloped through "May contain nuts" chortling at all the scenarios I recognised from my more aspiring neighbours. Brilliantly observed. Also Nick Hornby's "How to be Good" which started off very dark but got better. Plus Essential Spanish for Kids which increased my slang vocab. and then a history of Granada, which were all lying around in the house in Spain. Then I worked out how to do the internet on my phone and that was that.

You were missed! What were the best and worst places you went to?

What did you hide behind it?

I've also found the Transition Information Network website has useful information.

Those 'wait and see' follow up appointments were some of the most stressful ones I've ever had the misfortune to wait for. Fingers crossed and I won't say try not to worry about it.

What about a full body swimsuit? There are some cool sporty ones about. Or are there other issues about swimming that have not yet surfaced? I know I would have to talk to my school before sending in a full body suit, so maybe have a word before you buy. Shame about the pens. Schools just don't think about the expense of returning to school.

Have you asked SS for respite? I thought you'd said you were frightened to ask for it in case you lose him? What are their reasons for not supporting you? There is a constant turnover of SWs here too. I gave up on them and went and found the break we needed. I think I'd still be waiting if I'd left it to them. Years ago I got a friend to bring back some melatonin from the States - you can buy it OTC in health food shops there - and gave it a trial but it made DS very hyper. From what I recall of my research it helps with going to sleep but won't necessarily keep them asleep. As our problem was with staying asleep we were grasping at straws anyway. I don't recall that there is anything that helps to maintain sleep. Hope you manage to catch up on your own sleep soon - there's nothing worse than sleep deprivation.