NikkiSmith

Hi Tinystar - You're definitely not alone, but I haven't yet discovered all the answers so I'm probably not a lot of help to you! My other half (of 6.5 very long years!) was diagnosed with Aspergers almost 2 years ago. It was such a huge relief to be told that yes he was "different" and that I wasn't losing the plot and imagining everything I saw. Cannot really advised on the problem with other women as my DP notices them and occasionally comments on their clothes etc. but my logic is that he would actually drive them nuts if he went anywhere near them! He's more interested in amatuer radio and Linux and haven't seen that many women involved in that around here. We regularly have huge arguements, usually when I feel like I cannot take anymore and he doesn't understand what my problem is! He doesn't seem to register that 3 boys (2 of whom need a lot of input) are a higher priority than him and his radios/linux stuff and that I really could do with some help with bringing them up and also that I want some of his time too! Anyway, good luck with trying to get your head around it all - it's a lot to take in and deal with. Nikki.

I've got 2 under 5's - Iain (ASD) is 4 in august and has just started at local special school in the nursery class. Rory is 14mths and NT so far! Nikki.

Just thought I'd add that my 3yr old was taking 3mg of Melatonin and it worked (yeeehaw!) for about 2 weeks, so the paed doubled the dose, which again worked for a fortnight and then stopped (aaarrrggh!) So he went back to disturbing the whole house all night and having us all up by 4am! We have recently tried Vallergan Forte syrup and chloral elixir paediatrics - neither of which had any effect so out of desperation I gave him the 6mg of Melatonin and it has worked for 2 nights (oh the joy of a good nights sleep) So we have been told to give it to him every 4th night, so that (in theory) it keeps working. Tux - my dp buys his on ebay and in my opinion, is worth every penny! It makes him a much nicer person when he has had some sleep! Nikki.

Right! I have finally got the time to sit and type this and desperately need some help. My 3yr old has a diagnosis of ASD and his behaviour is extremely difficult to manage. His pre-school use a 1-to-1 helper (partly funded by the LEA) but she seems to spend most of her time "containing" him, often separately from the other children. Following a meeting with the SENCO earlier this term, my dp and I visited the three local schools that might have been an option for ds2. We rapidly concluded that only the special school would be remotely suitable for when he starts school in September 2006. We were also hugely impressed by the attached nursery and felt that it would be ideal for ds2 now. I told the SENCO this and was told there was a place available at special school Nursery (xxxxx) (edited by moderator to remove school name) after Christmas and that ds2 was the perfect candidate. At this point, I (very stupidly!) thought it was a certainty that he would have a place after Christmas and all we had to do was wait. Having spoken to the Ed psych I was told I had to put a request in writing to the "Principal Special Needs Officer" (?) so dutifully wrote him an e-mail, to which he replied saying he would discuss it with his senior colleagues.............. a week later I rang him and he says that he is waiting to hear back from his colleagues, but he's sure that in 2 or 3 weeks they will have got back to him!!!!! (ever efficient at Hampshire County Council then!) He said it was unusual for them to place children in the nursery before their March 2006 selection meeting, was I really sure I didn't want to wait til then?? Everyone keeps telling me it would be better to get him to the nursery and then Statement him there, yet getting him into the nursery is proving to be interesting! So what should I do? I know that is a stupid question, but I really don't know what to do next. Who is this Principal Special Needs Officer's (edited by moderator to remove name) Senior Colleagues? Can I nag them too? WOW! If you have read this far you deserve a medal, have 2 if you've actually understood my mutterings! Any help would be really appreciated as I am beginning to lose the plot. Thanks, Nikki.

My GP has precribed this for my 3yr old to try and get him to sleep, coz at the moment he rarely does! He's tried up to 6mg of Melatonin and 10ml of Vallergan Forte syrup, both of which worked in the beginning and then didn't after a few days. So out of desperation the GP has given him this stuff, 10mls, which smells foul, but just makes him even more hyper and determined to destroy the house in the middle of the night! The GP said if my son fought it nothing would work, but unless he sleeps I can't (he throws himself over the stairgates and destroys the house!) Has it worked for anyone else? Or have you found something that does that I can ask the GP about? (cos he's running out of ideas too!) Enough mad mutterings! Any ideas would be great! Thanks, Nikki.

Oh wow! Thank you! It's just calmed my 3yr old beautifully, but now I have to get off the computer so he can have it on for longer................ Peace and quiet at last Thank you Nikki.

No idea if you have a Primark near you, but the Thomas ones in there are only �5 or �6. Nikki.

My 3yr old has to line his trains it wherever he is and he really loves them accross the front door! But as someone else said, he likes order, be it size, colour shape or things in the right place (ie. doll's houses!) Interestingly though my dp doesn't still line things up, but he does like to pile things up and lots of piles!! - anyone else noticed this one? Nikki.

I hate half-term! I am stuck at home with a hyper 4yr old who wants to go to school, a sick 11mth old and an ASD 3yr old who doesn't understand why he cannot go to playgroup when all the staff are! (it is right opposite our house and he can see the staff going in for their week of training!) DP is still out in Bagdad and will be til the 5th of December. Roll on Christmas holidays.............. I am dreading them too! Nikki. (who apologises for sounding like a miserable cow!)

Thank you Simon - I think I really needed to read that! It has put a few things in my head straight and I am slowly beginning to realise that he is "bad enough" and yes, I know the vacant stare very well as he's doing it more often, in between all the other off the wall stuff! Thanks again, Nikki.

It's interesting reading all the posts - my 3yr old ASD son is currently at playgroup and has his own 1-2-1 helper and the SENCO told me (unofficially) the other day that it is highly likely he will get a place in the nursery at our local special school. I didn't think he was bad enough, except on the really awful days, which if I am honest are quite often! But I had got it into my head that he would survive in mainstream with a language unit attached - yes I have been kidding myself on this one for the past couple of months, as everyone else can see that he would never cope. Enough ramblings, Nikki.

Hi there, I just wanted to add that my other half was diagnosed with AS, 5 months ago at the age of 36. We found a private clinic in Woking and the guy there worked it out with the first 15 minutes - when he had to ask him to stop talking so that he could! He wanted to put a name to the cause of his differences and I needed to know that it wasn't my imagination - he really is hard work. Nothing spectacular happened though, we paid our money, the guy wrote a report confirming it was AS and that was that. Although our GP has recently said that if my dp wants some input from him/any other services he will happily oblige! Oh and of course going through this whole process I also worked out that our 3yr old had it too! Good luck if you decide to go for it. Nikki.

Right, I'm new to all this SEN stuff and am still trying to get the hang of it, so forgive me if I sound really dippy My ds2 was 3 in August and paed says ASD and dutifully did the Notification for Education bit (which they have had, but lost!) Have met with the SENCO a few times and she just says leave him where he is at playgroup with his 1-2-1 helper, but he isn't getting anything out of it there and the manager says (off the record) she thinks he needs to go to Henry Tyndale (complex needs school.) Having viewed all three schools that were on the possible list for him, I agree with the playgroup manager. So the SENCO has now taken note that ds2 needs to move and has begun to gather info from me, paed, SALT and playgroup and tells me he is to be discussed at a meeting on the 13th (Multi-disciplanary something or other) and also on the 20th at the Pre-school Advisory Group meeting. So is this the beginning of the process? Or do I still need to put my request for a Statutory Assessment/Statement in writing to them? Sorry that was so long, but I haven't any idea what I should do now or next! Any input is appreciated! Nikki.

Thanks for the ideas, I have just been talking to dp about how we could fit permanent, no going-over gates where we need them and it might be possible - at the moment we have several of the rollerblind-type ones as the openings are at angles or too wide for metal gates. The little darling uses his toes on the "twiddly-decorative" bits on the spindles to climb up (same as he does with my kitchen cupboard doors!) but I think we will have to do something to deter him........ Out of curiousity - what does an OT do? I wouldn't have thought they'd be able to help with this challenge, but am I wrong? Keep them coming, ideas aren't my strong point when I'm exhausted! Nikki

Help me! My 3yr old son (known as Houdini) has worked out how to throw himself over our stairgates and even worse is the one on the landing, as he climbs up on to the banister rail and then leaps over the gate (but has almost fallen down the stairs twice in the past hour!) He is covered in bumps and bruises, but don't feel the pain, so it doesn't put him off. What am I supposed to do? I have to have some way of blocking off areas of the house as he has no concept of danger or the word no. He loves setting things on fire with the gas hob and flooding my bathrooms, but just laughs and laughs. I don't want to live in a prison, but feel like I don't have any choice at the moment. Anyone got any solutions to this one? All ideas appreciated! I'm getting desperate. Nikki.

Kat - yes my litttly is still in pre-school, but I'll look into it anyway as I might as well know all I can! Karen, Thanks for the info, I'll have a look for details and get in touch with the lady - I could do with some sane conversation. Nikki

Just wanted to add a huge thank you for all the phone numbers, I am in Farnborough and just beginning this whole new, long journey and need all the help and support I can get! Nikki.

Thank for all the replies and links. There is so much to take on board and I am so scared of doing the wrong thing for him. I am trying to keep an open mind, but it's not easy when I can see his behaviour deteriorating and getting so challenging that I know it will restrict his options. Anyway, sorry for rambling on. Thank you all for being so helpfull, you have given me lots to think about. Nikki.

I hope I get this right as this is my first proper post, so tell me if I'm doing it wrong! My middle son has just turned 3 and was recently dx with ASD. He is at playgroup with 1-2-1 help (they worked out they needed this after the first session!) but I am not sure it's the right place for him any more. We are just looking into schools for him (1 for complex learning difficulties, 1 language unit, or mainstream with 1-2-1 help) but as we are going around them I am realising that he isn't getting anything out of playgroup. What do I do? How do I know where is right for him? I spoke to the SENCO this morning (but she is the biggest drip I know!) and she said she would chase up the Ed psych and get the statmenting process started, but whether she will or not is another matter! My dp has AS (and is feeling so guilty that this is all his fault!) and he thinks that I always know what to do, so is happy to leave it all to me, but I feel so out of my depth at the moment. Any suggestions as to what my next move should be would be really appreciated (please feel free to state the obvious, I am just beginning to realise what a new learning experience all of this is!!) Nikki. (Sorry for going on and asking so many daft questions)

EEEk! This wasn't the best post for me to look at then........ Paediatrician is sending me a prescription for melatonin to try and do something with my almost 3 year old. Off to read all the others, but I have given up on miracles. Nikki.

I figured I should introduce myself rather than lurking around reading anything and everything! I am Nikki, 24, partner to Paul who's 35 and was diagnosed with Aspergers in May (finally! I really was beginning to think I was going mad!) and full time mum to 3 fantastic boys aged 4, almost 3 and 6 months. We are in Farnborough, Hampshire and I think I am going round the bend! We are just starting out on the road of chaos to get our middle son all the help he needs at playgroup - they didn't really believe me until he went for his first session and they began pulling their hair out He now has 1-to-1 help (he only started last month!) we have appointments for speech therapy this month (as he doesn't really speak, just the odd word) and a paediatrician next month. I've all ready met the Senco who is refering us to Portage too. The health visitor is referring us to Homestart for a volunteer. Everything is happening so fast that I am spinning! I am not sleeping as Iain, my middle son doesn't and is getting really good at waking the whole house, Paul is now in Bagdad until August (this is not really a bad thing at the mo!) and I am on prozac before I lose the plot (which is likely having just looked at the 51 pages of the DLA forms!!) WOW! That is probably way too much info for an intro, but given the time it's taken me to type it I have to post it and come out from hiding. Thanks for getting this far! Nikki. Oh and I am new to this kinda thing, so humour me if I do it all wrong!