Nightmare Couple of Days

[carrieq]

Feel like I am just coming up for air now!! Yesterday when I was dropping ds off at school I was approached by a couple of parents and threatened that they were going to "sort me out" because my son had hit one of their children. I had my toddler in my arms at the time and as we were still in the playground I went to report this to the Head. I was told that this parent had been asked not to approach me and she would speak to her.

 

I contacted the education dept and the police to report the incident, as dh said when she wallops me at least they won't have to start from scratch!!

 

Got an email from the Head after I emailed my statement of events saying that the incident occured on Monday and happened when the teacher asked the class to tidy up and the girl pulled ds jigsaw off the table. He was sent to time out for hitting her and she got an ice pack!! Doesn't take a genius to work out that he responded in a manner typical for him.

 

We were at A Stage 2 meeting the day after and were told nothing of this. The meeting is another post in itself, this really has been the week from hell!!

 

Anyway I went to work and collected ds from After School Club and was pulled aside by the leader who said she was quite anxious for ds as after school a group of parents were pointing at him and refering to him in insulting and abusive terms. She had tried as far as possible to keep him from it.

 

I was beside myself for him, he's only 7!!! Emailed the school as couldn't get anyone to say I have concerns for his safety which I wish to discuss in person as a matter of urgency.

 

I took ds into school after the bell this morning via the front door so as to avoid any name calling only to find the Head couldn't see me because she was seeing a group of parents with a grievence against ds, one being the woman who threatened me and she would be unable to see me all day. I managed to arrange over the phone for ds to be collected after the parents had gone and will see Head tomorrow.

 

I was told that the girls parent eventually saw she went about things the wrong way and she apologised to the Head and that the other parents were more understanding when ds condition was explained to them. I have NOT given my permission for his dx to be discussed with parents so I am also mad about this.

 

That feels a bit better having got it down but I am angry that this was allowed to happen. Anyone have any experience or advice????

Carrie

[Karen A]

<'> <'> No experience but very sorry you had such a shocking day.I think you are right to be upsett that your child's Dx was talked about without your consent.Karen

[Bagpuss]

So sorry to read your thread....what a terrible time you've been having....and how intimidated you must have felt. I've not faced this, so no advice, hope the HT gets it sorted, and quick. Your ds cannot be subjected to this and I wouldn't be best pleased if my dd's dx's had been discussed without my prior permission. <'> <'> <'>

[aro]

<'> <'> <'> I agree with everything above! Your poor ds, hope there are no further repercussions,

 

A x

[Platefull of Love]

<'> <'> <'>

[stressedmumto2]

I would not have been happy with dx being discussed one bit and would write a letter to head teacher about it.

 

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time with it, hope things are better for you tomorrow. <'>

[rainbow queen]

oh thats really awful

<'> <'>

sorry i dont have any experience but i hope you manage to sort it out xxxx

[curra]

Carrie

I'm so sorry for you and your son that you had to go though all that. I had a rather similar experience last spring but I was not confronted by the parent, he confronted and threatened my son directly. Several parents also grouped against my son and began to put pressure on the school to have him excluded, which in the end they did. There's a thread about it which has lots of good advices ("Exclusion"- Update). My DS is still affected by the incident and the bad atmosphere created around him. It's so upsetting when something like this happens. You did the right thing!

 

<'> <'> Curra

[UltraMum]

<'> <'> <'>

[Kazzen161]

It is not right for the HT to discuss your child's dx without your consent. I can imagine that she is trying to difuse the situation, but she shoudl have spoken to you first.

 

If the parents had threatened the staff, they woudl have been barred from the premises.

 

Was the girl told off for taking the puzzle off him?

 

I hope things do get better. I had similar problems when T was at Infants school - the kids were fine about it - got hit but soon made up - but the parents used to mutter to each other that he shoudl not be in that school.

 

Karen

[lil_me]

<'> Sorry to hear you've had a rough few days, hope things look a little brighter soon

[carrieq]

Thank you for your replies. I spoke to the Head and she says she just said E has trouble controlling his behaviour and she feels I will heighten the situation as I have contacted the police which I don't believe as I have been approached by this mother before but not in the same manner. The mum is also denying she had someone with her when she approached me which I am not too bothered about as other people saw what happened.

 

School are doing nothing as it is all hearsay. I will now bide my time and am taking further advice on the next step.

 

Thankfully ds seems quite unaware.

 

Thank you again

Carrie

[JsMum]

It sounds like a similair situation I was in when J was four, five and six and it was horrible the parent who approached me was actually a parent govenor, can you believe that, I make letters of complaints and other informative information but schools are pretty much gaurded and enclosed so you dont really get anywhere.

Thankfully we moved and so we moved schools.

 

Is there any possibilty that a move of school could work, new start ect...

 

Does your son have a statement, or on action plus, if his behaviour is a concern its the schools and its up to them put in place support and supervision.

 

I really do understand what you are going throw its horrible because we already have enough to deal with as it is, without intimidation and threats added on as well.

 

Anyway hear from you soon.

 

JsMum

[Bullet]

<'> <'> Carrieq <'> <'> . I feel so sorry for your poor lad .

I'm going to stick my neck out here though and say that , whilst the head should have asked you first, maybe it isn't too bad that those other parents now know of your son's diagnosis. Rather than them presuming he's just being naughty, hopefully they'll now begin to understand why certain situations make him react in certain ways.

[PinkSapphireAngel]

Now they have had the condition explained to them it does not sound like any of them have approached YOU to apologise or discuss the matter like ADULTS with YOU!

 

I would find it hard not to say something along those lines to them!

As for the school saying you going to the police is going to to "heighten" the situation, well I wonder what the HT themselves would have done if it was them being threatened and intimadated???

 

Remind them this happened on THEIR grounds so they should actualy do something about it if they do not want the police to do it for them.