JsMum Report post Posted October 1, 2006 I have a situation with J that is getting us in confrontations with people who dont understand, everywhere J goes he goes and turns out all the lights, and then turns them back on again, he has done this for years and I am so use to it I dont respond anymore, yesterday in a surgery he turned off the lights and a elderly man shouted at J which instantly frightened J and told him to go an ###### turn them light back on now! J stood next to me scared and I had to intervene with the this man who was telling my son he was naughty, I explained to him that was a reason he was doing this, and then he said oh I am sorry I thought he was just been naughty, I said no he has a condition that makes it difficult to be in different surroundings and he turns lights on and off in many places. The man didnt say anything but J remained distressed, we went to another waiting area and J continued turning lights on and off. Has anyone else got similair behaviours and what kind of behaviours does your children do that others transulate as naughty but actually is part of their difficulties. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted October 1, 2006 Hi Jsmum my son turns lights on and off not all the time but my hubby had to take the bulb out once It is hard though isnt it. He also loves to lie on the ground whenever we go out. He just dives onto the floor it doesnt really bother me but my hubby gets frustrated most people tend to just ignore him. Luckily ive not had any confrontations yet (dont know what id say) a few stares though Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathrynh Report post Posted October 1, 2006 My son likes to turn lights off and on as well. This happens more at home than when we are out so it hasn't really been a problem yet. Sometimes he goes through a phase of insisting they are all off and then at a different time he will insist that they are on even when the room is already well lit. My partner is not very understanding about this and takes the bulbs out. My son insists that when he leaves the lounge to go upstairs to bed all the lights are turned off in the lounge even if dad is in there watching TV. Dad gets irritated by this as well. Is it just us or do other dads show low tolerance levels to our children's behaviour? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted October 1, 2006 Our youngest dd 6, always turns the lights on or off, dependant on her mood. She won't settle in any room until she has decided on the lights on/off, and woe betide anyone else deciding differently. Luckily for us, this has mainly been confined to our home, and the homes of friends and family. She has tried sometimes to turn lights on or off in waiting rooms etc, but I've found distracting her works......but it won't work for all kiddies unfortunately. Our dd was the same about doors too. Had to shut doors everywhere, and would stand opening and shutting doors continuously...doesn't do this so much now, other than if she is trying to block a certain noise out like the hoover, the washing machine or conversation. Take care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted October 1, 2006 My 3yr-old (AS) will switch lights on and off if he can find something to climb on to reach them. I think he likes the idea of being in control. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted October 1, 2006 My DS turned lights on and off up to the age of 10 and sometimes he still does it when he has too much energy. For him it's a comfort thing, according to his own explanation. His step dad didn't have much tolerance for this behaviour either. <'> <'> Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 1, 2006 My son insists that when he leaves the lounge to go upstairs to bed all the lights are turned off in the lounge even if dad is in there watching TV. Dad gets irritated by this as well. Is it just us or do other dads show low tolerance levels to our children's behaviour? I have to say that I don't blame his dad for getting irritated at this. I'd be irritated as well. I'm understanding of the reasons my son does the stuff he does, but it doesn't stop me getting irritated with him, some of the stuff he does drives me crazy! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anastassia Florinevna Report post Posted October 2, 2006 Maybe they adjust the lights because it's too bright (maybe the lights burn their eyes) or too dim for them (as in, their eyes don't adjust well to the darkness). Maybe they're embarrassed about being different from others in this way and thus don't want to tell people why they do it, so they pretend they just do it for fun or something. (I was just thinking about why I might do it; I've never done it or known anyone who did.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted October 2, 2006 (edited) Go the opposite with my youngest (NT) son who is 5 and switches all the lights on, can I borrow J to switch them off please as my house ends up like Blackpool Illuminations , switches them on in other peoples houses, or anywhere he sees a switch. Oldest (ASD) prefers to switch them off, when he goes to bed he switches everything downstairs off, just have to put them back on again as far as he's concerned he's off to bed why should they stay on. Edited October 2, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Yes, we've had meltdowns where we've got out of the car and Lewis has tripped or dropped something and completely lost the plot. We've carried on going into the house and he is kicking off big time and wants all of the lights switched off again and everyone going back out to the car getting in and starting again! I think thats more of him wanting to rewind and start again without any 'mistakes' but yes it's been hard when he wants all of the lights switched back off and goes berserk if anyone touches that light switch! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
purplegail Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Hiya Luckily Laura confines this to home. She constantly switches all the sockets off. Why??? Fire risk! I have just about persuaded her to leave the fridge freezer alone but anything else is fair game. It's only mildly annoying and I mostly see the funny side ! It annoys her brothers terribly though as she has no respect for their privacy - sockets come first!!!! Her obsessions are constantly changing though so hopefully J will move on to something else and if not, stuuff other people! He's not doing anything offensive or dangerous! Gail quote name='JsMum' date='Oct 1 2006, 12:14 PM' post='120204'] I have a situation with J that is getting us in confrontations with people who dont understand, everywhere J goes he goes and turns out all the lights, and then turns them back on again, he has done this for years and I am so use to it I dont respond anymore, yesterday in a surgery he turned off the lights and a elderly man shouted at J which instantly frightened J and told him to go an ###### turn them light back on now! J stood next to me scared and I had to intervene with the this man who was telling my son he was naughty, I explained to him that was a reason he was doing this, and then he said oh I am sorry I thought he was just been naughty, I said no he has a condition that makes it difficult to be in different surroundings and he turns lights on and off in many places. The man didnt say anything but J remained distressed, we went to another waiting area and J continued turning lights on and off. Has anyone else got similair behaviours and what kind of behaviours does your children do that others transulate as naughty but actually is part of their difficulties. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted October 9, 2006 stepdad got a low tolerance level,i wonder if its cos hes a stepdad and not a dad,been with us for years and i always wonder if he would be more paitent if steve was his if you get my meaning!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Platefull of Love Report post Posted October 9, 2006 When Dan gets wound up he does things that he knows will annoy us, he shouts he won't help me any more, tonight he stood & was turning the bug light in the front room on & off, not once or twice, but as soon as it was on he flicked off, then on again, then off, on, off on etc. He knew he was winding me up, but I tried to stay fairly calm & tell him to stop it, I was firm with him, he knows he shouldn't do it. It really really winds me up ( yes I was in the room ), I think he did it long enough to prove a point, to annoy me, but I think its also a release for him, i am just glad he doesn't do it that often, its better than actually breaking things though . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
patrick w Report post Posted October 11, 2006 (edited) I got some cards from the Autistic Society, which i used for a while..They were like a calling card..and explained that this individual had Aspergers and may be displaying challenging or different behavior, but that it was part of their condition etc etc... They were quite good... Ocds (obssesive compulsive disorders).. are very common ...They are a way of maintaining control and safety..they are a comforter as well, especially when a change happens. They become habitualised and ritualised which is why they can happen at set times..going to bed etc.. I find that Felix (14yrs.... my son with aspergers) has these in times of stress..It is a bit like his stimming...touching everything with his feet..... etc...to sort of ground himself. (As a note on Dads and less tolerance..I wonder if it is to do with the partner that deals with it mainly and the one that doesent.. I have always been Felix's main carer...and it is his Mummy that has got uptight, angry about his behaviors..I have learnt to see that she just doesnt fully understand the complexity of his reactivities to his stress ..and his attempts to keep his universe controlled and safe..and that when this is threatened then these behaviors occur... I think you have to really spend time with an Aspie to really get what is going on for them..and to undersatnd what they do sometimes. It is so subtle and complex..Also, i find that it is a constantly unfolding experiece..i am learning all the time..that part of it never seems to stop..so i'd imagine how hard it must be for someone who is around it a lot , but doesnt deal with it at the same time..I.e they just happen to be in the same space.>Also, i think some family members are grieving in a sort of strange way the normality they expected from this person..I know i have had to do that and it can make one pretty non-accepting and often fearful..and ferfulness often leads to anger...Also, i noticed that Felix chose me as the main carer..He doesnt sort of see me as a seperate person..i have to like the t.v he likes, the music, eat the food he wants, know what he is thinking, understand what he is saying etc etc..I am sure many recognise this ..How often do i say , "i am a seperate person"!!! Lost count... My point is that it is a very involved realtionship, exclusive almost...That by defination automatically excludes others ..esp. other family members. It is a dominating relationship and can make others feel left out in the cold, or at the least , just never able to get a grip on what is going on..And as some behaviors are challenging that can be tricky..I have often fantasised about how nice it would be if the behaviors were not rage, aggression , fixation , etc etc but going around giving flowers to people ,or helpling them carry their shopping!!..Instead of the normal swearing and spitting and smashing doors etc ...Now imagine that.. ) Patrick Felix's Dad Edited October 11, 2006 by patrick w Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lollypocket Report post Posted October 11, 2006 L used to turn lights off and on - now it just tends to be on and he too is a Blackpool Illumination merchant!! I read somewhere that the repeated off and on can be used by an ASD person as a form of strobing to slow things down. So some may be using it to slow the world down a little and make sense of it. A lot just get pleasure from the cause and effect of it. And some just do it to annoy as said previously KW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
