Night time problems

[mum22boys]

Hi all,

 

I am after your advice and suggestions about lack of sleep!!!!

 

M is 6 and awaiting assessment. He struggles to fall asleep at night. We have re-decorated his room, which is now very calming and he loves it. He just can't switch off at night and he doesn't fall asleep until gone 10. He is vey pale and has constant bags under his eyes. I don't know what i can do to help.

 

My other more significant problem is my youngest who is 3. He is waiting to be seen at the CDC, not sure if or where he is on the specrum. DS1 I believe has Aspergers.

Anyway DS2 goes to bed fairly happily. He is shattered by 7 and is asking to sleep, so is tired. He goes to sleep ok, but at about three every morning he is wide awake. He shouts over and over 'mummy'. I don't bring him in our bed as I won't start that. But he is still awake two hours later. So eventually he falls back to sleep at between 5-6. He then spends the day misereable. He constantly has to be at my side. Even going to the loo with me. I wonder if he panics when he wakes at night and i'm not in his room, although he falls asleep without me in the room. He won't tolerate his dad going in his room, so if I was to stay in bed and DH get up DS2 will scream the house down. This is the same for anything, he is only happy if I do it.

 

I am exhausted.

 

Any advice from you, the experts would be wonderful.

 

mum22boys

[nellie]

Hi,

 

Have you considered melatonin? This is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland which has been shown to regulate sleep patterns in animals. There have been studies conducted which have shown that taking melatonin supplements can help to ward off jet-lag after long journeys. It is also thought that in children with autism their patterns of melatonin secretion may be irregular - so it is not that they don't produce it but that they don't produce it at the right times of day.

 

Melatonin supplements must be prescribed in the UK. For further information you should consult with your GP. Some foods are rich in melatonin such as plums, bananas and brazil nuts but current research is not clear whether a melatonin rich diet could be effective in helping children to sleep.

 

There's lots of threads discussing this, here's one.

Melatonin..our lil miracle????

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...mp;#entry121838

 

Information from the NAS.

Helping your child with autism to sleep better

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1071&a=3376

 

Good luck

 

Nellie xx

[oxgirl]

Oh you poor thing, you must be shattered!!

 

My son sounds the same as your older lad. He spends about two hours in bed bumbling about, making his noises, doing a bit of reading or just generally fiddling about and eventually falls off to sleep about 10.30. I know what you mean about being pale, my lad is ghostly and has rings round his eyes too, it's horrible to see, isn't it. It doesn't seem to matter what time we put our lad to bed, he still seems to need those two hours, so we just start early and then at least it's fairly reasonable by the time he's off to sleep.

 

With the three year old, does he still have a nap during the day? Maybe if he napped for an hour during the day then he might be able to go to bed a bit later in the evening and maybe not wake during the night! I know when my lad was little he used to wake and the only thing that worked was if I went in and stood over him and placed my hand quite firmly on his back. It seemed to soothe him. I don't talk to him or rub or pat him or anything, I just stand there resting my hand on him and he will settle back.

 

Best of luck. Hope you are managing to catch up on naps during the day as well.

 

~ Mel ~

[phoebe]

MMM You must be exhausted - know the feeling.

 

I have tried most things with my son. We have always had a strict routine for bed time and go through various stages of sleep patterns. He is 8 now and sometimes I am desperate to sleep myself, but too worried to go to bed before he is asleep.

 

We have a strict rule that he is not allowed out of his room other than for bathroom breaks, so at least he is contained! He seems to find it desperately hard to switch off from the day and actually states that he doesn't need any sleep, thinking that he spends all night awake on occasions. I have found that if I stay with him I am continuing to stimulate him even if I try to just be there without engaging him in any way. The saving grace has been having a selection of story tapes that he will happily listen to quietly over and over again until his body finally allows him to relax enough to go to sleep. I have also tried Alpha Music a relaxation programme which I found on the web of hypnotic (well I thought so) music which helps you to relax. It did wonders for me - not that I need any help in that department! but was not to B's taste!! Maybe it will work better when he is older or it would have if I had introduced it younger.

 

We do find music a great therapy and often use some old favourites for lightening the mood when a meltdown seems imminent.

 

Some children, feel more secure and able to sleep if they are cacooned like a swaddled baby and this helps them to get to sleep, but this is only what I have heard rather than something that I have experience of - maybe someone else will come up with some guidance on that. B will often throw his covers off and never stays still, so this wasn't an answer for him.

 

Anyway, best of luck. Keep up the good work and hope you find some light at the end of this particular tunnel.

Take care

Phoebe

[Suze]

<'> my son has had various sleep problems, sleep walking, hallucinations, shrieking and crying out, and alot of anxieties and worries come out when he finds himself alone in bed and starting to think and ponder things.I took him to see our gp 6 mnths ago , in desperation as he was begging me to help him sleep at night(this involved lying next to him, rubbing his back and talking about "good stuff", it could be 2 hrs before he fell asleep and the next morning would be hell refusing to get up and being really angry.The doc prescribed melatonin and it has helped enormously, the only side effect we have is jis obsessional accuracey etc at taking it .............exactly the same time each night.........panic ensues if we are late .On the subject of your youngest, I must confess to having a 4 yr old who hops into our bed every night.As a youngster I had awful nightmares and hated to be alone in my room so I,m afraid I,m a soft touch.

[BusyLizzie100]

This is all so familiar!

 

DS2, also six, just doesn't seem able to go to bed or stay in bed or fall asleep until 10pm or later. I put it down to him needing time to process what's gone on in his world during the day, like a computer backing up its programs - it may not be a conscious thing for him. His dx is ASD.

 

But I could be wrong, and maybe melatonin would work better for him. At the moment I have to wake him up every morning for school and it takes him AGES to wake up and get going, which causes huge stress in the mornings.

 

And I have to confess that DS3 comes into our bed every night. It's not ideal, I know (!) but it's better than him getting upset and waking up the other two, cos when that has happened DS2 can't get back to sleep again and the situation is even worse! I've got to the point now where I wake up some mornings and DS3 is in the middle of the bed, although I don't remember him coming in. Usually, though, he manages to put his foot in my ear or get his fingers tangled in my hair or just lie sideways in the bed so there's no doubt of his presence.

 

Hey ho.

Edited October 16, 2006 by BusyLizzie100

[stressedmumto2]

Apart from strict routine, visual timetable and perhaps social story of when we go to bed there is nothing else I can add to that. My son was a terrible sleeper,asleep by 10.30 then awake at 2.00am back to sleep at 4am then awake at 6am I was so glad that my daughter slept through the night.

 

He's now taking melatonin and his sleep has greatly improved, he's now asleep by 8.30 9 am and sleeps right through till 6.30- 7.00 pm sometimes later.

 

A good nights sleep is wat everyone needs, without it you will all feel down in the long run.

 

See your paed about melatonin or they may want to try phenagin (not sure of spelling) first.

 

Hope you get some sleep soon,take care <'>

[Eva]

Hi Mum22boys,

 

you've described pretty much what happens in my house! Wow, parallel lives!

 

My AS son is 5.5 and takes forever to get to sleep. He's often pale with dark rings under his eyes too, but I think in his case it's more diet related. He's on the GFCF diet (well, my version of it) and when he has too much of a certain food, his paleness gets worse.

 

As for my other son, he's 3 and also wakes in the night, (screaming of course), and because he shares a room with my other son, we can't let him go on for too long. So, I bring him into bed with us. I decided sleep is better than no sleep and that he'll grow out of it. He's actually been sleeping through the night in his own bed more since I've relented and been bringing him into bed with us. Maybe it's late on-set separation anxiety? He also went through a stage of following me round the house - I couldn't move without him tagging along, but he's got over that now (thankfully!)

 

Cheers,

Eva

[dooday24]

reeces sleep pattern is all over the place some nights he sleeps but most nights he watches videos or dvds over and over or gets up and wanders around. and the nights he sleeps wakes up alot wet so cant win. sleep deprevention set in.

[jenny1969]

<'> just to add my daughter can be a bad sleeper she wouldnt sleep till after 1am up in the night up as soon as she saw daylight we did her room pink fav colour disney princesses lamps big disco ball with light on celing filled it with loads of her fav toys tv dvd and the biggest thing a water bed as you can see i was desperate for sleep but it has helped she still goes to bed late 10:30 but her routine then putting her fav film on her lights on bedroom is like a disco and she loves the bed i think because its warm and squashy and soft she stays in it its the best thing i have ever bought she might stay up till early hours and be awake at the crack of dawn but she stays in her room all night now watching tv even in the morning she just puts her fav film on and lies in bed she needs so little sleep and it doesnt bother her we called her our ever ready battery as she was always on the go no matter how little sleep she had but it was affecting us as a family it was making me ill but now i get to sleep all night most nights we do have our ups and downs but its miles better than it was fingers crossed you will manage to find something that helps you and your child it ony took me 5 years but i think we have found just what se needed a bedroom like a pink disco and a warm soft squashy bed thats she like to get in and stay in jenny