worried mum of 3 year old boy

[thepinkpanther]

Hi there this is my first post to this site please help.

 

I am looking for reassurance that my son will overcome his difficulties I have finally got a date for speech therapy assesment next Thursday and am finally seeing a paediatrician the following Monday.

I only have one boy he was three in July as he was my first and can talk I was unaware he had any difficulties, however he started doing many repetitive things in the garden and i realised that he never responded to my questions with yes please no thankyou but was merely repeating what i was saying to him.

 

He seems to know most words for objects cat dog chair juice light star etc and seems to be fully aware of things that i ask him to do ie get your shoes, get your cup, take your shoes off etc however if i ask him what his doing or ask him what something is any general questions i cannot get him to respond. Due to being a boy friends and family kept telling me he was a late speaker and because i am not a big talker i blamed myself and quiet home surroundings.

 

I have read quite alot on autism and aspergers but nowhere does it say that he will loose the echolalia in time i am worried that he will never be able to answer my questions so we can have a two way conversation. Some of the echolalia seems quite delayed he will talk about noisy bouncy castles at the breakfast table 3 weeks after the event.

 

I would be grateful for anyone who can give me there honest advise

[Karen A]

Hi I do not know the answer to your question but noticed it is your first post.Welcome to the forum.They are a very knowlegdable bunch.I am sure somone will be able to offer some advice.Karen

[thepinkpanther]

Hi I do not know the answer to your question but noticed it is your first post.Welcome to the forum.They are a very knowlegdable bunch.I am sure somone will be able to offer some advice.Karen

 

Thankyou Karen i keep refreshing the screen i have been an emotional wreck as we have only just realised how much ben has been struggling and how frustrated he is i feel like a bad mum for not spotting the problem sooner only realised when ben was 3 yrs 2 mths

[smiley]

Hello

 

I wish i could give you some answers - <'> .

 

Honestly - i don't know your little one, so i don't feel i can say if his speech will improve. BUT, i do know that three is still very little and with the speech therapist and pediatrician helping now - i'm sure you will get some more helpful answers soon <'> <'> .

 

Big hug <'> And Welcome <'>

[Bagpuss]

I hope you get some answers soon and a big warm welcome <'> <'>

[anita81]

i have a three year old with aspergers.he was exactly the same.he used to answer yes to everyting.then he progressed to copying off the tv.now to some extent he can hold full conversations.if he echos you repeat to him the answer you were expecting.he dosent do it because you dont talk a lot.he does it because he doesnt know the appropriate words to respond.the more you talk to him ,the more hes absorbing.just keep talking to him.TIP;when talking to him wait for his reply .he might take long time to reply.(his brains trying to process the question and tryin to figure out the answer)Dont worry ,he will get there in the end!

[thepinkpanther]

Hello

 

I wish i could give you some answers - <'> .

 

Honestly - i don't know your little one, so i don't feel i can say if his speech will improve. BUT, i do know that three is still very little and with the speech therapist and pediatrician helping now - i'm sure you will get some more helpful answers soon <'> <'> .

 

Big hug <'> And Welcome <'>

 

 

Thankyou for the welcome

[thepinkpanther]

i have a three year old with aspergers.he was exactly the same.he used to answer yes to everyting.then he progressed to copying off the tv.now to some extent he can hold full conversations.if he echos you repeat to him the answer you were expecting.he dosent do it because you dont talk a lot.he does it because he doesnt know the appropriate words to respond.the more you talk to him ,the more hes absorbing.just keep talking to him.TIP;when talking to him wait for his reply .he might take long time to reply.(his brains trying to process the question and tryin to figure out the answer)Dont worry ,he will get there in the end!

 

Hi thankyou for the reply im assuming you spotted your childs echolalia early on to already have a diagnosis! does it take a long time for a diagnosis?my partner keeps worrying that he will stop speaking altogether is that possible?

[Nic m]

hello pink panther,

i am quite new to the forum myself and dont think i can offer any specific advice but what i can tell you is that since being on this forum i feel a great sense of relief that i am not alone.reading through a lot of the posts reminds me of things my daughter used to do or couldnt do when she was younger and she has overcome so much in the last few years so i hope this offers you some comfort, i know i have really appreciated reading these posts. Good luck and a very warm welcome.

Nicola

[BusyLizzie100]

hello Pinkpanther, and welcome to the forum. If you have concerns about your son, it's good that you are seeking assessments. Hopefully the speech therapist and paed will be able to shed some light on things for you. Be prepared, though, that they may want to give your son time to develop, and they may ask you to come back in six months time, for example.

 

Three is still a very young age and it may be that he is a late speaker, or he may have an ASD. My middle son was a very slow developer, in walking, talking and all major milestones, and was eventually diagnosed at four and a half. He is now nearly seven and still has some echolalia, mainly when he is stressed, and conversation is much better although not always easy, but it is getting better. While typing this he's just come up to tell me that he's finished his reading book... OK, he should be in bed!

 

Your son may be very different to mine - no two children with ASD are the same! - but even if he gets a diagnosis, he's still your lovely son and nothing can change that.

 

Please come back and tell us how you get on with the speech therapist and the paed. This is a great place to come for support.

 

All the best,

Lizzie x

[opheila]

<'> hi welcome

Please dont blame yourself for all that you little boy is doing it is not your fault. Been there and done that and honestly you will just make yourself ill.

This is just my opionion but i would keep a diary of all the diffrent things he is doing that way when you see the pead you can tell him you have notice certain things he is doing.

It will help to understand your son better as they only get a window view.

No one can tell you what to do and what is wrong but all we can do is give our personal opinions and knowledge of what we have been through ourselfs. You will have seen this by reading our notices on this forum. I put one up recently asking for people to answer a few questions for me because i am going through similary situation with my son.

I dont know if this will help but i would consider starting a diary tomorrow and just take down little notes of behavouir changes, anything you notice as diffrent

 

let us know how you get on

all the best sorry cant give you more help <'> opheila

[mum22boys]

Hi Pinkpanther and welcome <'> <'> ,

 

As someone said no two children on the specrum are exactly the same so it is hard to answer specific questions.

 

I agree with others, you are doing the right thing seeking help. At least you are being listened to. A lot of parents on here (me included) have known something was not quite right but have had to fight to get it recognised. Getting him seen at 3 is a good idea.

 

Who knows how long the wait for diagnosis will be? It is a lottery depending on where you live. My eldest is 6 and has been waiting a year and a half. Yes, everyone who sees him agrees he looks likely to be on the spectrum but assessment in our area is one long wait. We have at least another 6 months to wait. Mainly this is because he is school age. The pre-school list is shorter. My youngest is now on that list, he is also 3.

 

I think the speech is hard to decide if and what is delayed at 3. Both my kids are under the SALT. The 3 year old has trouble pronouncing a lot of letters which makes his speech difficult to understand. M, my eldest had what I thought was brilliant speech until we realised his understanding of language was poor. I also realise now that he very rarely answers any questions, like he doesn't hear us (he does of course) but he just carries on talking about what he wants to. Conversation is very one sided.

 

I wish you lots of luck at your appointments. Keep us informed, and most importantly, stick around. We are all there to listen to you.

 

Take care,

 

mum22boys

[Bullet]

Ds1's language is primarily echolalia (both delayed and immediate), with also counting and he can now label some pictures now. He has a fantastic memory and can fill in gaps in songs and stories very well but can't use language to communicate. His verbal understanding seems very limited though, things have to be kept simple, usually with gestures and worded exactly the same way each time.

[chriss]

Hi,

 

I know things must feel pretty hard right now but recognising there is a problem is the first step to solving or helping to solve that problem. You will understand your son so much better in the months to come because his problems have been noticed early on.

 

xxx

Edited October 26, 2006 by chriss

[thepinkpanther]

sounds like he is similar to my son he can memorise story books and could from two and a half i just thought he was very very clever my son also can sing loads of nursery rhymes and has just started makaton in pre school with help of senco

[Tally]

Hello, I am adult diagnosed with Asperger's. At 3 I did not speak at all, so your son is already ahead of me.

 

Even now, much of my speech comes from a 'stock' of words and phrases that I have in my head. It's not all repeated from what I have heard, some of it is things I have read, or things I have written myself. I speak comfortably on the subjects I know about, because the phrases I need are fresh in my mind. It is when I need to speak about something unfamiliar that I struggle . . . but I just take my time and get there in the end. I can relate a lot to what Anita said about taking time to answer questions.

 

It seems like your son understands that the questions you are asking lead to him getting something, so that is a step in the right direction.

 

Echolalia can be a good thing. It means that your son is learning to physically get his mouth around speech. With the right guidance, he will be able to learn to speak more spontaneously.

 

Welcome to the forum,

Tally.

[Bullet]

ThePinkPather, there's no "just" about it. Your ds is very very clever. I am in awe of the way Tom can remember so much stuff. To give you an example, if you have a look at "Albert and the Lion" he can fill in a lot of gaps for about three quarters of it at least. I see his memory as one of his strengths and always use it to argue against those who declare because he can't ask for a drink yet, for example, that he's supposed to be slow.

[smallworld]

Hi,

Your son sounds very much like my 6 yr old was like at 3, he could follow instructions ( even quite complicated ones like 'go upstairs and bring down your blue shoes from mummy's bedroom' etc. ) but he knew only a few single words, everything else he said was echolalia, eg. 'leaveyourwillyalone' said really fast used to make me and whole chunks of personal accident insurance ads 'have you suffered an injury at work...?'

Now at 6, he can make himself understood but remains behind his peers in conversation. He can still be echolalic, but it tends to be more something he likes the sound of saying rather than as a response to something you've asked him.

HTH,

 

wac

[Jericho]

My eldest son didn't really start to use language until he was around 3ish. To start with he used a lot of echolalia - progressing from the last word of a sentence to using it as a phrase, eg "Do you want a biscuit?" was first answered with "biscuit" and eventually "Want a biscuit". Echolalia was his stepping stone to more spontaneous and useful language. He is now 6 and although his language has a few quirks he has caught up and even scores ahead of his peers for vocabulary.

 

Obviously every child is different but for my son echolalia was a positive thing.

[Jill]

Welcome! <'>

 

I agree with what many have said, I think echolalia is a good thing. If you think about it, in a way it's how all children learn to talk, it's just that our kids apply it differently.

 

The Boy is 5 in January. Until 4 months ago he was non verbal (it was a massive breakthrough when he took our hand and led us to what he wanted, rather than just having a meltdown cos we didn't automatically know what he wanted ).

 

Now he has a stock of phrases. Ok, so may of them are echoed, but he's started to use most of them in appropriate places. (unfortunately one of these phrases is "well this is a chuffing mess" taught by daddy )

 

So his speech development is a little ecclectic, he has hardly any single words (I tell ya, the day he calls me mummy I will ), but he has a batch of whole sentences which I THINK he understands.

 

The main thing is that he's trying & it must be SO hard for our kids to get this whole talking mullarkey.

 

So take heart, I don't think echolalia is a bad thing floss.

[baileyj]

Hi there Pinkpanther.

 

I really feel for you reading your post. This is a difficult time for you. Its easy to say don't worry, but I remember when it was us going through these worries, it would have been easier to stop breathing than not worry.

 

My Max is now 6, he started assessment with paid/SALT when he was 2 years 11 months, and got diagnosis when 3 years 2 months.

 

It was when he started playgroup at 2 that we really saw the differences, I thought it was normality, then had a big shock when I saw how the other children could speak and understand. Got referall to paied and went from there.

 

I remember in the beginning being so worried, and resentful of the assessments, and also would Max ever speak. He was (and still is to a degree) echolaic, but as some of the others say, its a stepping stone to language. At 6 Max can understand alot more, his speech is "selective", but so much better.

 

Learn as much as you can about ASD, and see what the paied and SALT have to say, you maybe surprised. Hope all goes well.

 

Jo

[Stephanie]

My son never used to echo my words but he had strange patterns of speech - like he used to get "me, you, I, yours and mine" all twisted up, Also he never called me Mummy or held a two way conversation. He was assessed at 3 years 10 months. As he was my first child, I was late recognising that his speech was delayed ... and blamed myself for not talking to him enough in the daytime (I got frustrated with his lack of communication). He attended a small speech and language cluster for 6 months which brought him on no end.

 

He started a bit of echolia at age 4 ... just repeating what I had said in a higher pitched tone (like he was using it to buy time whilst he thought of an answer to my question).

 

He is now 5 1/2 ... and is at age appropriate level (woo hoo!) ... in the last 6 months, he has just seemed to pick up language (I think reading the subtitles on TV and a junior thesaurus have helped), he now has a great vocabulary and sometimes shocks me with the things he says. He still has areas of communication that he struggles with and still sometimes takes a while to process a question that someone has asked him.

 

Since his language has improved, the echolia has totally gone though.

 

You might see dramatic changes in your child once they start school, remember he is still very young.

 

Good luck with the assessment.

[kinky j]

hi PP,

 

my son c is also 3, he was dx'd just over a year ago with asd. at the time of dx his "comunicative"(not sure if thats a word??) speach consisted of repetition of the words at the end of sentences though he could name most object, colours (including bergandy) and shapes, and he only ever demonstrated it in front of people he knew well.

 

since looking into what asd's are and reading through loads of advice posted on here, one year later he's caught up with his peers (albeit at the lower end and with unusual patterns of speech IYKWIM)

 

kj