Newbie

[debzx]

Hi untill 18months ago i had never heard of Asperger!! feel very ignorant but just muddled through life!! Joe is 13 and i have 3 other kids aged 22, 16 & 9, however i will say that from very early on i knew Joe was different (little things) like he would not like to visit people, he wouldnt mix with other kids without getting upset he loved his cuddles and was my baby even though our only daughter is the youngest!! food was a battle and even now he will only eat certain things which is a diet of 5 things in total ( sad but true)

 

he went to high school at 11 and to be fair the **** hit the fan goodstyle, my boy changed overnight!!! got very defensive and weepy, didnt want to go to school, threatened to kill himself on numerous occcastions which in itself is very upsettin!! he said he was being bullied!!! even though he had a brother in yr 11, we went to the school who bent over backwards for him, got a mentor changed school lessons and even made it a shorter day for him BUT it was short lived!!! they got an Education Phychologist to visit who Immediately took him out of mainstream!! joe had severe Anxietys and she and we felt that mainstream was a no no at least for the time being!!! joes bullying was just verbal ( just as bad as phyical really) but joes thinking is literal and so to him it was all very real and frightening!!

 

he started being assessed and even though we still have no diagnosis all are heading towards Autisum/asperger, which in a way is a releif!!! as we now haev read up and learnt alot rather than clutching in the dark!!

 

joe attends a local hospital school were fingers crossed he has settled downside is its only for 2 & half hours per day, i cannot work now as i need to be home for him and so family life has also suffered!! we had to sell our home and go back to copuncil as we couldnt afford the mortage and one wage ect ect!! so to say its all been an unheavel is an under statement.

 

we are still at times struggling to cope with joes behaviour specially his depressions/moodswings and anger which more often than not deriects at his dad and siblings!!

 

i am hoping that we can go on a course locally to help us all understand that joes world isnt like ours fully and to try to sort things out for all of us as this has effected us all as a family.

 

i am hoping to gain alot of helpful tips ect through this site

 

 

thanks

 

debzx

[JsMum]

Welcome DebZ I am sure you are going to like it here and find some understanding and support as I have done with other members here.

 

You have gone throw a lot and what stands out clear is your inner strength of charachter, you show throw your words the love and bond for your family.

 

My son J has difficulties with food as well, to the point where last year he was in hospital, with clinically underweight and so week as he didnt stop with the running around he did until his heart couldnt cope any longer, it was a hard year and since he has been under a lovely peadatrition, and a dietition and making progress, he has put on a bit more weight and looks healthier again, but we still have difficulties with textures and tempetures and what it is served with so we know how hard it is as well.

 

for J its a sensory difficulty, so crowds, noise, taste, smell ect...a great book if you where interested in more information on this its called The out of sync child.

 

Anxiety also plays a big part to not wanting to eat as well as the symptoms make it difficult to have an appitite and to digest it as well so I always ensure I have the foods he does like in the house for the times when he is less stressed out.

 

Its really comforting knowing your sons previous school did a lot to support him and sounds like things could may be they can support you with the educational side of things with the hospital school.

 

NAS have an educational advice line who could also advice you or support you with the current situation with the hospital school.

 

We moved 18 months ago also and it was stressful but we are settled again and this is our home and I feel more comfortable now.

 

J was in a situation where a child had said " if you dont bring your cards tomorrow I am gonna kill you!"

I had a right night with J and wrote a letter to the head, when the head confronted the child the child said he was only joking he didnt mean it, J had taken it as literal truth once the head realised this was just an innocent comment he realised J really cant handle these kinds of statements.

 

so know what you mean with the bulling issue, and anxiety and AS can look very alike bulling symptoms though our children are vulnerable to bulling so we are very aware of our childrens behaviour.

 

Look forward to hearing you on the post and see you soon.

 

JsMum

Edited December 17, 2006 by JsMum

[oxgirl]

Welcome debzx, you've come to the right place. I know everyone here will understand what you've been through and are going through and how it effects everyone in the family. <'> My lad is 13 as well.

Look forward to seeing you around. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[hev]

hello debz

 

so glad you found the site <'> its been a godsend for me to know im not alone and ive found out info from here that i hadent heard anywhere else so its helped me in lots of ways,my son is 13 with aspergers,i look foward to getting to know you better,take care love hev

[Bagpuss]

Hi Debz and welcome to the forum <'>

[dooday24]

hi debz welcome the lot here are really helpful have helped me through some really rough times and also some good times hope to see u around lv donnax <'> <'> <'> <'>

[elun1]

Hi Debz

Welcome to the site - it's a lovely friendly and supportive place to visit. I've got 2 boys aged 7 and 5. Little one is autistic.

Elun xxx <'>

[stressedmumto2]

Hi and welcome to the site.

 

One of the things that struck with me just now was when you mentioned the verbal bullying, my son is very literal too and when once threatened with a gun by a neighbour (he couldn't see one but thought it was in a bag they were carrying) became very anxious and wanted me to call the police etc.

 

Bullying is horrible for our children. I hope your son settles where he is now and his time become increased and that he copes well with it.

 

Take care of yourself <'>

[Platefull of Love]

Hi Debz, My middle lad is 13 & he has Aspergers. Like you it had come totally out of the blue when the consultant asked if I had ever heard of it, ( he wasn't even in hospital regarding behavior, he was in as had tummy pains ) I hadn't & it was quite a shock, although it has taken quite a few years for them to give the formal diagnosis. I to have had to take him to the hospital as he has threatened to kill himself,( he was admitted for a few days to ) Its heart wrenching to see your child who you love so much, to not See a future & think that is the only way out . To find notes & hear them say & do things is so so hard, when you want to help them, yet seem to be pushed away. I know those tears from both sides. I am lucky Dan seems to be over that phase at the moment, but I do remember it very well, it wasn't very long ago at all. Dan also had a while out of mainstream school education as he couldn't cope at all, One of the options that has been considered is the hospital schools service, luckily he is not doing to bad at school now, another is the bullying, its so hard for school to realise how real it is for the child concerned. It hurts, just wanted you to know you are not alone in this <'> <'>

[Kathryn]

Welcome to the forum debzx - gad you found us!

 

Like your son, my daughter muddled through until she went to high school and problems began. Many others here will identify with your experiences too. It's good to hear that your son is being supported in the hospital school, hopefully a firm diagnosis, when you get it, will help even more.

 

Look forward to chatting to you here,

 

K x

Edited December 17, 2006 by Kathryn

[Eva]

Hi debz,

 

my son's name is Joe as well! He's 5.5 and was diagnosed early this year with AS.

 

Welcome to the forum - it's a great place - I've learnt so much from it!

 

Cheers,

Eva

[curra]

Welcome to the forum, Debz! You will find excellent advice, information and support here. My son is also 13 and he was diagnosed at the age of 11, as soon as he went to secondary school (mainstream). He was always different and "eccentric" in his ways but he managed to go through primary school without special support although there were many incidents of bullying and he didn't mix with the other children. In year 7 he went through a crisis of anxiety and feelings of persecution (with suicide threats) because he can't cope with teasing. There has been a lot of real bullying too . He's moving soon to a school with an autistic unit.

It's a good thing that your son is being supported at a hospital school.

Take care

 

 

Curra

[butterfingersbimbo]

welcome to the forum debz!!! <'>

[debzx]

welcome to the forum debz!!! <'>

BIG THANKS for all the welcomes!!!

 

Hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas!!!