TheNeil Report post Posted January 8, 2007 (edited) My three week holiday is over and I've now been back at work for a whole hour now...and it's driving me mad. So far not a soul has said a word to me (some things never change) but they're all happily chatting amongst themselves. The problem is, the banal noise is just going straight through me. I can't remember it being this bad before. Ok so I know that being back at work is a major downer but I was so depressed and lonely over Christmas that I was actually looking forward to coming back (for a brief moment anyway) and having some sort of human contact (note to anyone who cares: Christmas and New Year on your own is awful and do anything you can to avoid it). At the moment I'd happily just go home and be miserable and depressed rather than have to go through the same thing here (in the office) but with the added bonus of having everyone else around me rub salt into the wound. And, just to bring anyone who cares up to speed, I went for a job interview last week (yes, I made the decision to try to do something rather than just whinge). It was for less cash, would involve another 30 minutes travel each day (the job agency talked me into going) and would involve starting the 'AS education' process all over again (the unclean masses that is, I know about AS). I was all set to tell them to <insert rude word here> off if they offered it to me. Now though I'm not so sure. I know I should know this by now but does anyone else feel as though they become less tolerant, more sensitive etc. as time goes on? Is this an AS thing or just a 'growing old' thing? Update: My boss has just asked me if I had a good holiday. I said 'no'. He laughed and walked off. Oh to be back in the bosom of my 'extended family'. Edited January 8, 2007 by TheNeil Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elanor Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Hi Sorry you had a rotten Christmas. It's no fun being back at work (hence the reason I'm writing this instead of tackling my intrays) - January is depressing, and I have to say that my experience is that you do get more sensitive and more bad tempered as you get older - if I had any sense I'd just give into it, but actually I do my very best to hide my sensitivity and bad temper, which just makes it worse! Stick with it - everyone feels bad on a Monday after Christmas, even if they were lucky enough to have a good Christmas. Get some mid-morning chocolate - I know I will. Hope things pick up today. Elanor Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Hi I guess you've had a break from your normal work routine being off at home where it's quiet and peaceful, etc. Being back at work, there's a rabble! Sometimes it's a case of thinking great can't wait to get back but discovering the grass ain't as green as you remember it to be. I also think that there comes a point if you're really unhappy in a job where all the negatives can mount up. I was in a situation like that ... worked briefly for a debt collection agency, used to get swore at by supervisors, told wasn't efficient enough - basically treated like s**t. After 5 months I had enough. It started to make me feel ill (really stressed, crying, etc - I'm NT by the way!). There was no way I could stomach the place any longer. I handed in my notice and was fortunate to land a job which was great within a week! Massive difference for the better. Maybe you could go and have another look at the place where you were interviewed. Try and get a feel for the place, ask questions. Might help. Best wishes Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted January 8, 2007 (edited) Well I think I am less tolerant as I get older. When I was younger I'd not say anything for fear of upsetting folk, so I bit my tongue all day & put up with stuff. As I've got older I'm more likely to respond or snap at folks and think "stuff 'em." So I guess you could say I've got grumpier with age (or maybe just more self centred). As for asking about your holiday then laughing - my boss is like that. I walk in on a Monday and he says "how was your weekend" and you start to tell him and he's either looking at his computer screen, typing or writing notes about something - quite obviously not listening - just making huh huh, yeh, noises. So now if he asks me I just say "yes" as it's clear he's not in the least bit interested in my weekend, he's just asking cos he thinks that it's expected socially to do so. Unfortunately there are always going to be people like this. I also think that - although it's hard to go back to work after ANY holiday - the hardest one is Christmas / New Year. Even if you've had a crappy holiday; you've still probably seen marginally better tv than usual, eaten more treats than usual, drunk more than usual, had more lay ins than usual, generally been lazy.......couple that with going back & it's dark when you go into work, dark when you go home, you've no money cos you spent it all at Christmas etc etc etc. I just think January is such a miserable month IMO. Right little Ray of Sunshine aren't I? Edited January 8, 2007 by Jill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
badonkadonk Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Dude I think it's like Caroline said. You've been away from it all for three weeks in relative peace and quiet compared to everyday situations. Give yourself a break and your ears chance to catch up. It's ok for the sound to be bothering you, if that makes sense, your ears are rubbish at blocking this kind of sound out. So, what to do, because I know I would have run away home by now, my ears, brain and ability to 'just breathe' are all rubbish Got any ear plugs? Can you listen to music? Sit in the toilets for a bit? Kill them all with a brick? They're not going to stop or be quieter and possibly think of you for a minute. They're 'normal' people remember, considerate is not something most people have heard of. (This only applies to some people remember, before all you NTs start trying to thump me!!) So you gotta help yourself I'm afraid me dearest. Drink some water and pop some painkillers if you have any. Go for a walk (will anyone notice if you sit in the loos or outside for half an hour?). And generally waste as much time as you can this afternoon so you can get out of there because it's not like you're going to be feeling productive anyhoo in this mood. Heck, do the whole migrane thing and go home early if you can. The thing is, one of the biggest sore points of my particular personality and I don't know whether it's an Aspergers thing or not, but you seem to have suffered the same fate here, is that I have a kind of Amnesia type reaction to things. I don't go out shopping for a bit and suddenly I think, I'd quite like to go shopping actually, I bet I might even enjoy it and find something nice to wear for once. But then I get there and it's still as horrific an experience as it always is and I never find anything nice to wear because apparently all fat people want to dress like 80 year olds. But my brain for whatever reason cannot accept this and so I get a kind of eternal optimism about things like this. (and more recently about socialising over Christmas...."it'll be different this year, I know how to cope more, I might not even get bothered this time"....HAHAHAHA!) But I am slowly learning not to beat myself up about getting optimistic. It's allowed, there's nothing wrong with it and as long as I'm not destroyed emotionally everytime it happens and can accept the fact that it's happened again, such is life and all that nonsense. So, this is my longwinded way of saying. You forgot what it was really like, it's ok to do that. You've got rubbish ears so fake a sickie and keep looking for a new job. (Btw I'm kinda proud of you in a non-patronising way. I thought you might turn out to be a stubborn stupid head, but I'm glad that you're reluctantly embracing change! Don't hit me!) Emily xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noogsy Report post Posted January 9, 2007 hi the Neil...Christmas is a funny old time of year. It does make people aware of them being alone.my hubby works away from home and he was in norway for a month over christmas and new year i was in scotland.and i have to say it wasnt very nice being on my tod.did you go to your mums?now i know you said you werent going to see your family...im not sure being on your own was a good idea.... as for work what about a mp3 player in your luggs.so you can listen to your sounds.maybe somthing calming... i think you should take it easy and not make to many big moves just now you have a lot to be coming to terms with.did you do your part time evening job thing? as for people not speaking to you..well just try to be open to people who might try to comunicate with you.i dont do social situations very well either..and ive actually been fired from jobs for being weird....lol my hubby has just said that you should come and work with him in seismic..he says there is tons of asd and aspergers people in that field...and no one minds not talking to each other as long as everyone is invited at the end of a shift to go for a drink and a meal......and they are screaming out for people who are computer buffs....january is a terrible time of year everything is dark and cold and miserable...sorry you are feeling a bit out of things.....oh my hubby has just suggested tiger woods computer game for you to try which is a hoot...lol.you need to find somthing so you can relax... love noogsy and cam....xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reuby2 Report post Posted January 9, 2007 Hi The Neil, Sorry you had such a naff christmas time, I think everyone hates that first week back at work untill they get back into routine.I hope everything perks up a bit for you. As for the bad tempered as we get older thingy, I definitly think I am turning into one of "The grumpy old woman" from the t.v series , I'm 34 by the way but laugh my socks off as i can associate with everything they say. Have you been watching "grumpy old men??" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 9, 2007 Well my DH is definately grumpier as he gets older.....he's turning into Alf Garnett No advice I'm afraid TN, hope something positive comes from the job front and take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted January 10, 2007 No advice I'm afraid TN, hope something positive comes from the job front... Possibly, possibly... I could say more but I'd have to kill everyone and really don't have the time to go sourcing sturdy bricks. Christmas was bad but these things happen so you've just got to get on with it. I think I was craving human contact and had forgotten just how awful and uncaring everyone here at work is. This has not been helped by the lack of anything that uses my talents. My MP3 player did get hit pretty hard. Luckily lots is happening outside of work (both from an AS, work and general 'stuff' way) so that's perked me up again. Then there's the added bonus of the Newcastle ASD meet-up in 10 days time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 10, 2007 Be afraid TN....be very afraid.....all those with AS have to submit to a full body search for any hidden bricks Seriously though, looking forward to the meet up too and glad to hear things are perking up abit outside work Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted January 10, 2007 Glad things are looking up TN. Long may it continue! <'> Bagpuss - your sig line is just sooooooo true. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 10, 2007 Thanks Jill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 10, 2007 How're you feeling now TheNeil, has the week gotten any better for you? How's the running, still going to the running club? I'm going to try and do five miles tomorrow for the first time!! <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted January 10, 2007 How're you feeling now TheNeil, has the week gotten any better for you? How's the running, still going to the running club? I'm going to try and do five miles tomorrow for the first time!! <'> ~ Mel ~ Hi Mel The running is still going...but slowly. Yes, the shin splints are still a problem (but I'm pretty convinced that they're slowly getting better). I'll be off out tomorrow night with the running club - only go on a Thursday now as Tuesday is a 'training session' which usually involves a lot of sprinting, and that kills my legs, but I do try to get out on my own for a session at the weekend. Good luck with the five miler - just take it steady and don't try to sprint the whole thing. The week has been getting better but it's got nothing to do with work. Lots has been going on this week that I can't talk about just yet . Work has remained just as depressing as ever but the 'other things' are tending to counter-balance it and, who knows, maybe I won't have to put up with it for much longer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
