dooday24 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 sorry to moan but i have about all i can take, other than taking reece into school still screaming and kicking he keeps taking out all his aggression/frustration out on me. feel like a human punchbag. people just dont seem to understand as hes only 6 but as stronge as an ox, hes just scraped his nails down my face again and cut all my face again. stings like mad and bleeding. looks like ive been fighting with mike tyson. just dont know wat to do anymore just want to run away and hibernate great end to my birthday. now feel guilty because i shouted at him and showed him wat hed done and he just growled at me wat can i do? got to goto work for a few hrs tomorrow as well, (with my face looking like ive been attacked by lions.) oh life is so much fun :huh: and on top of all that i am giving up smoking tomorow must be mad!!!!!!!!! wish me luck im gonna need it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KateBall Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Good luck but sorry - can't help - can only give you a <'> and empathise. My son is like this sometimes and he too is as strong as an ox (common trait I suppose). Just think of the good times - please say there are some aren't there? However few and far between. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Oh Donna, I'm so sorry you've had a tough time <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 yeh i love him to pieces but its so hard at times thanks kateballxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Hello Sorry, you are having a hard time. Sending u lots of hugs Forbsay xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 thanku everyonexx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Sorry to hear you are having a tough time, my son too takes all his agression out on me or used to, he is getting better but at 6 I often had cuts all down my face and scartches on my hands. People often thought it msut be a problem with me as he only used to do it to me, occasionally he hurts his sister too. I've no advice to give cos I don't know how I got through it myself but maybe you could do a social story explaining that it hurts and makes you sad when he hurts you. Sending you a hug and just to say hang on in there. I've been where you feel now, it's not nice try and get some time to yourself even a nice bath wih candles in the room. Take care and I hope you are feeling better soon <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fairynormal Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Sending you a hug as I know how hard it is. My son has always been very agressive and frequently hits, kicks, punches and scratches me. Recently he went for my face with a pair of scissors and ended up throwing them at me. He also threatens me with knives etc. he also hits and scrtaches his sister who is 17 and she has no end of scars on her arms from him hurting her. Thanksfully since he started taking Risperidone he is much calmer and these incidents have become much less frequent. It hurts so muchwhen your child hurts you. Ther have been times when I really felt that he must hate me because of what he did to me all the time. He hates it too and this week he has been asking me about anger management classes. Bless him. Hang in there. I know it's hard and I wish I could offer some advice but if I could I'd know how to handle my own son. Take care Hugs <'> <'> <'> Sam xxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 thanks everyone for all yr kind words i dont know wat id do without u lot thanks again love donnaxxxxx p.s have just had my last cig and applied my first patch wish me luke i know im gonna need it but i am determined to give up. if i can get through all the other s*** then i can give up fags!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Could you arrange some restbite care or perhaps for him to stay with other members of your family for a few days. It sounds like you could do with having a day to yourself to recouperate. That way you'd probably feel more up to the challenges he throws at you. I don't have any personal experience of such things but I know a few parents at the special school I worked at frequently said such things. Also it is often included in the books I've read. A day pampering yourself might be the best thing for all your family. Also have you got any outside help? If you don't you could always contact the NAS Befriending Scheme who could hook you up with a volunteer to come in for a couple of hours a week. I wouldn't suggest leaving them on their own at first but long term it might give you a bit of a break. http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=515 I believe there is also a general contact number that you can use for more info. not sure what it is off the top of my head though. I was thinking of volunteering as a befriender but they sent me both leaflets (for people interested in befriending and for those in need of befriending), I'll try and find it and let you know some more info. if you want. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 thanks that would be gr8 david, i am waiting to hear back from social services on the respite side of things and i only have my mum who looks after the children as i work 30 hrs a week and i cant expect her to have them any more than that. would be gr8ful 4 any info thanks lv donnaxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted February 28, 2007 (edited) Not yet found the leaflet but I think this is probably identical but as an html page: http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=141&a=2313 If there is any extra in the leaflet when I find it I'll let you know. Managed to find the information for people looking to volunteer but not the other one. Guess as it didn't apply I put it somewhere safe. It is typical that I now can't locate it. I can type up the volunteer information though as that will help give you a fuller idea of what they will do. What is a Befriender's role? As part of the NAS: Befrienders are in a unique position of trust, offering support, in a caring and responsible way, as part of a service and being accountable to the National Autistic Society. Befriending is: A conscious commitment by an individual, who has gone through a process of recruitment, selection and training. Their befriending is organised, supported and monitored within the policies and guidelines of the NAS. The task of a Befriender: Is varied and flexible according to the needs of the befriendee and the volunteer. The following are common to all: - To build up a relationship. - To establish and maintain appropriate boundaries to the befriending relationship. - To spend time with / share activities with their befriendee. - To be consistent, reliable and dependable. - To be accountable. - To repect confidentiality according to NAS policy. - To acknowledge positive qualities and skills. - To help the befriendee and their family to feel relaxed and secure. - To keep in touch with the scheme's co-ordinator. - To carry out admin tasks (Befriending Agreement, Visit Records and Expense Forms). - To work within a spirit of non-discrimination. Who can have a Befriender? Anyone affected by an autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) can request a befriender and we match volunteers according to their wishes and interests and where they live. Volunteers can be matched with an adult, teenager or child with an ASD; someone very able or someone more severely impaired. Some volunteers support a brother or sister of someone with an ASD, some volunteers spend time with the whole family. What do Befrienders do? Whatever they agree between themselves and their befriendee! Between them, the people involved decide how often the befriender will visit and what kind of things they will do together. Befrienders can take a child out to a ball pond or park, go along with the family shopping to provide an extra pair of hands, go to a youth club social with an older teenager, play games at home whilst Mum and Dad have a break, play football, meet an adult for lunch, go to the cinema or theatre - even scuba diving! What is the time commitment? We ask people to give a minimum of a couple of hours a week (although this can be agreed flexibly with the family or individual befriendee). We ask for a commitment of around a year wherever possible since continuity and stability are very important to people affected by autism. Aims and Purpose of Befriending: To enhance the quality of a befriendee's life by supporting his/her welfare, personal development and capacity for self-determination. This is done by offering the befriendee a trusting relationship, which may enable him/her to: - Develop a greater degree of self-confidence and emotional growth. - Develop greater capacity to make use of their own personal resources. - Develop greater capacity to form and maintain relationships with others. - Gain access to social activities. - Have someone to spend time with who understands something about autistic spectrum disorders. Befriending can benefit the individual affected by autism and their family and carers. Some befrienders choose to be matched to a sibling. Befriending works well as a flexible and mutual relationship with the befriender and their befriendee and family deciding how often they visit and what they will do. EDIT: Some more info from one of the other bits they sent me: Who can become a befriender? Volunteer befrienders do not need to be 'experts' in autism. We're looking for men and women who are approachable, reliable, willing to learn and sensitive to the needs of others. We provide initial and ongoing training and support and we also reimburse travel expenses. Volunteers normally need to be 18 or over but in some circumstances we are able to accept volunteers of 16 or 17. [it also explains on the sheet elsewhere that all befrienders have to obtain a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check.] Befriender training covers: - Autism awareness, including Aspergers syndrome. - NAS policies and procedures including confidentiality and risk management. - What befriending is (and isn't). - Beginnings and endings. - Listening and communication skills. - Boundaries. - Confidentiality. - Attitudes and values. - Risk assesessment. - Talk from family members and or experienced volunteers where possible. The training is organised in four three-hour modules which can either run on four evenings or two evenings and a full weekend day. Volunteers normally need to attend all sessions but we try to run catch-up sessions for people who have other commitments and can't make one. We always try to keep things informal and fun. We provide tea, coffee and biscuits and lunch if it's a whole day session. (Please let us know if you have special dietary needs). We also organise volunteers support meetings every six to eight weeks. These are a chance for volunteers to come together with their scheme Co-ordinators to share experiences, discuss any issues or problems and have further training or talks from professionals, family members or people with autistic spectrum disorders. Edited February 28, 2007 by David Matthew Baker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 28, 2007 thanks david really apreciated luv donnaxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted February 28, 2007 Your welcome. It sounds like you need some help at the moment. Hopefully things will improve for you. If I come across anything else whilst looking myself that I think you might find useful I'll let you know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 28, 2007 thanks that will be gr8 thanks for the help relly appreciated love donnaxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 1, 2007 <'> <'> <'> the only thing that curbed el's agression was risperdal......i dread to think what it might be like if she stops taking them.....hang on in there chic and good luck with quitting smoking! its going to be hard but i find after stopping myself i am calmer than i was when i smoked.......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted March 1, 2007 What really helped J with his aggression was a good quality punchbag, you can get them on stands now as well and well worth the money as they are brilliant, J has a punchbag hanging on his climbing frame, and he bashes that and then jumps up down on his tramoline for an hour to get rid of his anger. I think a anger management course may help as well, and teachers tv have some good videos on helping children express anger and emotions, I also have lots of creative crafts available, like paper, pens, paints and clay and he can model something, creative play is very good for releasing emotions. You could also go and see your gp and explain that he is being very violent towards you and wonder if there is any further support and referrals that could get your son some coucilling or anger management for children, also let the school know of your difficulties as they may have a school counciller who could give him some sessions. keep a diary and write down the description of his aggression, how long it lasted and what was his emotions after the explostions. My biggest best ever equiptment was a punchbag though. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted March 1, 2007 thanks jsmum we r going to get him a punch bag Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted March 1, 2007 thanks jsmum we r going to get him a punch bag Great let me know how it goes and dont forget the gloves as well, but really its really effective, I know you wont be disapointed. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
