ellisisamazing Report post Posted June 9, 2007 I had to visit the Health Visitor yesterday at 11.30am. Typically something went wrong! My car wouldn't start, so I called a taxi arriving at 11.26am to be told by receptionist, " Sorry, the HV thought you were not going to turn up so has allowed the next appointment in and the one after that was extra early and is waiting, so you will have to come back at 12.30pm!!!!!!!! Well I wasn't having it and I well and truly let her know it! I said I didn't have time to come back and she would have to remove the early arrivals and see me right away or else! Now this is so unlike me, but you know when you have one of them days??? I was on the verge of tears, I hate going the HV's....they make me feel inferior. Last time I went (8 weeks ago) with my Daughter I was told she was too heavy for her age and that she needs to lose weight or at least stabilise....she is two years old for goodness sake and eats a very balanced diet. I explained my son was same at same age and is now underweight and seeing a dietician!! So I have been feeling doubly bad at being a Mum Ellis had to spend a day in Hospital last week and we are awaiting test results, so have had that on my mind and I had to go Hospital myself on Thursday as I have badly sprained my left wrist and three fingers and on top of that I needed to do a food shop and get back home to cook for my elderly widowed neighbour, so it's been a long week! Anyway Ro got weighed and has lost weight and grown taller, so it wiped the HV's eye! She then started asking me did I have any troubles or worries? So I said yes I did, That I had issue with being taking to task over my daughter being a kilo overweight, yet when I spent two years asking for help with Ellis and being told I was overdramatic, a soft parent, he was jealous of his new sister and I needed to have a parenting class to make him take to a routine and that I never kicked off when it was DX'd and my instincts were proved, yet they felt a few extra pounds on a baby equalled a problem....and that I felt I was never taken seriously over my concerns about my son's obvious problems, which in my list of priorities is a lot more important than a bit of baby fat! She quickly ushered me out and said she would call in to see me. I told her no, if they want to see I will visit them at clinic, cos my home is MY HAVEN! I feel a bit rubbish now.........and embarrassed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wishingwell Report post Posted June 9, 2007 HV's, sometimes they think they know more than the parents. Good for U she'll think before she speaks to U the next time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
venus Report post Posted June 9, 2007 I can't understand why they let someone else go in first when you still had 4 minutes to go.If I had an appointment at 11.30 I would only get there 5 minutes early, I would be angry too. Health visitors have a knack of making you feel small.My health visitor is nice enough but she always made me feel a bit useless , and she must be due to be seen soon as my youngest has to have his three and a half year check. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted June 9, 2007 Ooh Lis, dont feel rubbish & embarrassed, you kicked ass there & they well deserved it! They havent a bliddy clue what we all go through on a daily basis, in addition to that you had the car, the hospital, your wrist, your neighbour - you are absolutely fantastic coping with all that, couldnt believe you were looking after your neighbour as well, its so true if you want something done ask a busy person! I think every last one of us on here would give you three cheers for not taking any c**p from them. You werent abusive, you were assertive. Dont you dare allow them to make you feel inferior. They should be hanging their heads in shame. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted June 9, 2007 Huge hugs, we have moments and days like that, don't beat yourself up...if you hadn't said anything, you'd of gone home wishing you had...well, that's what normally happens to me <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wicce Report post Posted June 9, 2007 Don't feel rubbish - you stood up for yourself which is brilliant. I wish I'd done that with one of my old health visitors. It sounds like you did great. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted June 9, 2007 You made a very valid point and if she is worth her position then she'll take it on board and try to get her priorities right in future. Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted June 9, 2007 Thanks Everybody!! Nice to know you don't all think I'm a mardy old cowbag! I think I had just had my fill and this just made me explode! Nice and Calm this evening thanks to a lovely bottle of Rioja! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted June 9, 2007 Ooh Lis, dont feel rubbish & embarrassed, you kicked ass there & they well deserved it! I think every last one of us on here would give you three cheers for not taking any c**p from them. You werent abusive, you were assertive. Dont you dare allow them to make you feel inferior. They should be hanging their heads in shame. <'> <'> <'> totally agree with pearl,you go girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 9, 2007 It also depends which particular bandwagon is rolling at the time. Currently, it's obesity in children. When B was 8-10, he fell off the centile scales, way above the 97th! He is now an angular 12 year old who weighs the same as he did at 10 but is 6" taller. When my daughter was a baby, the bandwagon was laying babes to sleep on their tummies to avoid choking. 4 years later, that was evil and negligent, they had to be laid on their backs to avoid overheating and cot death. It's amazing how many of them live really. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted June 10, 2007 Some HV's are just evil. I had a good one when S was little, but I took her to the baby clinic one day & came across a real charmer. I fed S on nothing but breastmilk for 6 months, we have allergies in our family so I was determined, I had really struggled with breastfeeding so felt quite proud, my HV was so supportive & said to this other one, look at this lovely baby, 6 months old & entirely breastfed! The other one rolled her eyes, & said, Huh! She should have been on solids months ago! They just seem to get off on taking vulnerable young mums down a peg. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted June 10, 2007 Hopefully the health visitor will have a serious think about priorities now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pumpkinpie Report post Posted June 17, 2007 With my oldest I remeber looking through the window to see which health visitor was there. If it was the one who sounds a bit like yours I just turned tailand went home.I never went in. I think you handled yourselves brilliantly. Some health visitors are on another planet. I am lucky little p has a great HV who keeps in touch even now. If she didnt there is nowere else to access help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted June 21, 2007 Hi Don't feel embarassed! I don't have a good word to say about my HV. She ignored by concerns about my son and categorically told me he DID NOT have AS. I put the ball in her court and told her to tell me what was wrong and she couldn't, nor did she help any further. I wrote her a letter telling her she didn't listen to me, treated me like I was neurotic and that I wanted to see one of her colleagues. It was only then that we made a bit of progress. I felt vindicated after received a diagnosis for my son and I also felt proud because I did it on my own. She was a the top of my list to phone when I got my son's diagnosis! I do think some HV are guilty of not listening. They're not alone. There's a culture whereby they seem knowledgeable making references out of their manuals, but on a practical level, I have my doubts. Sounds like you gave her a piece of your mind, but in a constructive way. After all, if you don't say what's bothering (and she did ask!), then how can anything be resolved? Good on you! Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madme Report post Posted June 24, 2007 The HVS in our area are useless - my doctor actually kicked one out of his surgery! They have never supported us. My daughter never had her check ups when she was supposed to as they failed to turn up. We got dx despite the HVs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted June 24, 2007 I am so sorry to hear of your experiences and feel guilty to report that my HV's are lovely, the current one's husband has AS and my old HV from when Con was a baby and was so wonderfully supportive has just come back into my life and it turns out her son (just six months older than mine) also has AS and ADHD. I guess its like all people in life some good some bad some indifferent, some have a lot to learn and some day I just hope their eyes will opened and they actually start to understand what we go through every single day. Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
