Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) I got bored with one word association so I thought I'd start something new to fill my days. Canopus in another thread got me thinking - can we between us come up with 101 possible but unintended uses for a screwdriver? Reward for completion - lots of chocolate I haven't got very far yet . . . Paint tin lid lifter Paint stirer Tent peg Weapon to protect chocolate supplies Small archaeological trowel Kebab skewer Toast retriverer Chistel Ice-axe for not too steep mountains Lightning conductor Polyfiller pusherinner Hole punch Dibber Coat peg (when jammed into door) Edited August 1, 2007 by Mumble Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Emergency TV aerial Murder weapon Emergency surgery tool thingy Door stop Book mark Writing implement if dipped in ink Curtain rail for dolls house (thin end) Tea stirrer Ummm, I'll get back to you with more later.... And make mine a Mars Bar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Fencing sword for small furry animal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Walking stick for small furry animal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 25. Fire poker 26. Window holder-opener 27. Spare spare arm for Captain Hook When we've finished this one, we can do the plastic cup, Pearl!!! :lol: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) 28. Plumb-bob 29. Hammer 30. GP nibble stick 31. Budgie perch 32. Toothpick for giants 33. Dumbell for midgets 34. Letterbox flap opener for people who have a fear of letterbox flaps 35. Pot Noodle scoop 36. Improv drumstick 37. Cheapskate presentation pointy thing 38. Anti-puncture-repair-kit tool 39. Nutcracker replacement 40. Snooker cue for cats Edited August 1, 2007 by TheNeil Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
badonkadonk Report post Posted August 1, 2007 41. A Conductor's baton for Handy Andy if he ever decides to forge a career in music 42. Tiny wallpaper scraper 43. Emergency fetch stick for playing with dogs (ever so slightly dangerous) 44. Shoe horn 45. Slug/worm/anything manky that you don't want to touch flick-er-away-er 46. Pretend microphone/indicator for who has the floor to talk at a heated (and possibly violent considering the number of tools they will be carrying) builders' convention. 47. Using the thick or thin end (depending on how talented a trainer you are) a balancing roller for tiny Sealions 48. Bogey picker 49. Head scratcher 50. Crown jewels scratcher for men 51. Bum scratcher Alright, alright I ran out of ideas........Ok, I admit it, I didn't have any in the first place Ooo oooo 52. Burger flipper 53. Life saving wedge upright in Crocodile's mouth so it can't bite you tool for when you are in Australia (Crikey!) 54. Random people prodder when on trains or tubes (might also be dangerous) 55. Mint polo or Hula Hoop holder TADAAAAAAAAA!!!! Emily xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 I can't compete with those Loving the snooker cue for cats. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) 56. Ear wax remover 57. anti-choking device 58. tool for performing an Tracheotomy (to idea about the spelling) 59. tool for saving an individual with a tension pneumothorax (again no idea about spelling - punctured lung to you and I) 60. Staple remover 61. lock picker 62. bamboo cane to support small plant 63. ruler 64. jamming rod to make a square block fit a round hole 65. oversized drawing pin 66. light sabre 67. knitting needle 68. crochet needle 69. pointy thing to keep receipts on 70. pointy thing to stop you ever having to pay and get receipts 71. arm extender to reach test button on a smoke alarm 72. coffee strength tester (if it stands up on its own its too strong) 73. spare chair leg (for a small chair) 74. firework creator if placed in microwave 75. steel for sharpening knives 76. light reflector for being rescued off desert island 77. chocolate cake thief warder-offer (Well who's going to take the cake with a rusty screwdriver sticking out of it?) 78. spare pendulum bob for grandfather clock 79. sugar spinner tool 80. cord winder-er-up-er 81. keyboard typer-er should fingers be too chocolatey 82. chocolate fondue bit pokerer 83. Brown sauce sachet opener 84. rolling pin 85. meat mallet Edited August 1, 2007 by Mumble Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Ah ha . . . 86. A tooth jabber-out-er-er . . . Does this mean I don't need to go to the dentist tomorrow? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Did anyone add anti-snoring device? First you poke 'em with it... then you jam it up their nose. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisa35 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 a bit strange, 101 uses 4 a screwdriver!!?? bit of a laugh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alyth_mum Report post Posted August 1, 2007 88 sock getter outerer (from the back of the radiator) (only another 13 to go ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 88. Bicycle tyre lever. 89. Remote control button pusher. 90. Tool for poking down the back of radiator to retrieve lost items. 91. Tool for twirling round in pond to wind up and remove blanket weed. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siadwell Report post Posted August 1, 2007 92 Door lifter for fitting doors 93 Retreiving lost screws ( the screwdrivers with the magnetic heads) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 94. Book mark. 95. Spider stabber. 96. Lego prizer-aparter. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisa35 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 hey, mumble, how about a false leg 4 a gnome! joe lisas son Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) 98. Donut snatcherer 99. (Small) flag pole 100. Twistly baton that those twisly baton dancers use 101. New mast for the burnt out wreck of the Cutty Sark! Yippee!!!! <'> <'> <'> Well that proved quiet easy with a little help from my friends (and yes, if anyone mentions the repetitions, they will see how good a screwdriver is as a fencing foil ). Next . . . (thanks to Pearl) 101 uses for a plastic cup - off you go!!!! Edited August 1, 2007 by Mumble Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 OK *deep breath* 1. hat 2. chair for squirrel 3. fake spider if you cut it up the sides 4. emergency toilet 5. seedling pot 6. false nose 7. mobile (lots of them) 8. bird scarer (lots of them over plants) 9. thingy to stop squirrels climbing up bird feeders 10. bird feeder, filled with fat Having a rest now, back later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 1, 2007 11. Ice lolly mold 12. swimming pool for imps 13. stilts 14. circle drawer Hmmm, this is tricky . . . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) 15. Emergency goldfish holder 16. Phone (2 of them & a string) 17. Megaphone 18. Sand castle maker 19. Rattle (seal the top) 20. Shaker for dice We got LOADS at the team building thingy, its harder to bounce ideas off peeps in cyberspace. Edited August 1, 2007 by pearl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Ear protectors Pen holder (short ones) Pencil holder (short ones) Mini aero holder Choccy buttons holder! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 26 Fake beard 27 left overs holder 28 Scoop 29 pastry cutter 30 jelly mould Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 2, 2007 Jimmy Durante impressionist kit: Sitting my piano, de udder day... (see morcambe and wise xmas specials, 1977 - 1983) Sandcastle moulds for spider monkeys. 'Ah, grasshopper' eyes for Colin Hunt... Maraccas (fill with rice and tape two together before gluing to a small length of dowling) as per 4S music lessons. Specimen jars fez's for spider monkeys (just paint them red) Flowerpots for people too tight to pay for flowerpots. Finger burning kits (just fill with hot coffee and carry from machine to your desk) Bongos for spider monkeys Walk in baths/shower cubicles for elderly spider monkeys (cut door in side and seal with blu-tack) Devo style headwear for punk spider monkeys who wouldn't be seen dead in a fez... Ra-Ra skirts for new romantic gurly spider monkeys (just cut hole in top to correct waist size) Flamenco shirt sleeves for spanish spider monkeys Shuttlecocks Model Bill and Ben kits High-rise shells for inner city turtles. hot air balloon (well, helium) baskets for guinea pigs. Mouth/earpiece assemblies for people who want to make a string telephone system but are allergic to tin. A receptacle for the heads of spider monkeys guillotined during the french revolution Chemi-loo for camping spider monkeys... Sorry ... Tired again... off to bed L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 2, 2007 A somewhat disturbing insight into the workings of your mind there, BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 2, 2007 51. Spider trap-er-er 52. Tooth holder 53. Anti-dentist attack mask 54. Palm trees (stacked up, top one fluffed up, and painted) 55. Ear trumpet 56. TV raise-er-er 57. Screwdriver storage 58. Thimble for giants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alyth_mum Report post Posted August 3, 2007 (edited) 59 A Daffodil (when mounted on card) for Mother's day - still got DD's version somewhere. Edited August 3, 2007 by Alyth_mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 3, 2007 60. A muzzle for my mentor Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something vague Report post Posted August 3, 2007 61 Posing pouch (add glitter for maximum discomfort ) 61 use two for miniature bra 62 use 2 for dog fancy dress (as camel of course ) 63 use 200 for dog fancy dress (as stegasaurus of course ) 64 tie peice of wool to two and thread through coat as mittens 65 Dog wellingtons 66 cut holes in the bottom and make binoculars. SV Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 3, 2007 Horrible mental picture of posing pouch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted August 3, 2007 (edited) 67. Emergency drought-conditions bath 68. Spider-trap!!!!!!! 69. Last-gasp-sinking-ship-rescue-bail-bucket-thing 70. Emergency lifeboat for mice 71. Bowling pins for weaklings 72. Plastic cup storage holder 73. Plastic cup storage holder holder 74. Cable-car car for shrews 75. 'Futuristic' miniature tee-pee 76. World's smallest rubbish bin Edited August 3, 2007 by TheNeil Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 3, 2007 77. Several tied together to make noose for mentor's hanging 78. Step for mentor to be stood on to be kicked away on hanging 79. Vessel to contain lethal injection implements for mentor 80. Blinding goggles for mentor to wear when facing shooting squad 81. Practice small creature trap (dug into ground and covered with sticks) to prepare for for making bigger trap for mentor 82. Vessel to contain treats to place on other side of ultra large mouse trap to tempt in mentor 83. Leg extension to balance out mentor after she 'finds' the hidden mine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 3, 2007 77. Several tied together to make noose for mentor's hanging 78. Step for mentor to be stood on to be kicked away on hanging 79. Vessel to contain lethal injection implements for mentor 80. Blinding goggles for mentor to wear when facing shooting squad 81. Practice small creature trap (dug into ground and covered with sticks) to prepare for for making bigger trap for mentor 82. Vessel to contain treats to place on other side of ultra large mouse trap to tempt in mentor 83. Leg extension to balance out mentor after she 'finds' the hidden mine the best way of dealing with these idiots is to laugh at them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 3, 2007 84. Miniture coffins to bury each bit of mentor in when she stands on bigger mine 85. Finger receptible for each of mentor's fingers I accidentally yank off 86. Water containing vessel to be worn as muzzle to drown mentor 87. Vessel to contain lots of creepy crawlies to accidentally tip over at next meeting and introduce her to a new obsession I'm thinking of dreaming up 88. Empty cup to offer mentor a drink - "but there's nothing in there Mumble." "Yes there is" "No there isn't" "Yes there is, I just filled it myself" "REally?" "Absolutely" . . . continued until she thinks she's going mad 89. Giant ice cube maker to stick mentor's lips to so she can't speak and I can make my escape 90. Sick bucket for me if none of these plans work 91. Disguise for me if they do. "What's that officer? A dead mentor? No, sorry no idea - I'm a bishop (placing cup on head) wouldn't know anything about murder" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 3, 2007 92. Squashed down should make a good frisbee to lodge in mentor's mouth 93. Swimming pool - tell mentor it's a normal 25m pool and make her think she's put on lots of weight 94. Frog-sized tunnel lining so my favvy frogs can escape from mentor 95. Fill with treats and leave in a Hansel and Gretel style trail to the witch's house for mentor to follow 96. Slice into rings and give to mentor to replace her noisy jangly bangles with quiet plastic ones 97. Give smallest cup slices to mentor as new jangly ear-ring things to replace horrid light catching ones 98. Use set of three to 'entertain' mentor with Real Hustle style proposition bet and get all the money she's earning to 'mentor' me back 99. Place upside down in the holes on a golf course, play a round with mentor and get her to realise what it feels like when you can't get anything right 100. Wear a pair as ear defenders when mentor rabbits on about nonsense 101. Write a big 'D' on it and give to mentor to make her the dunce rather than me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 3, 2007 That was fun. Next . . . 101 uses for an odd sock (that's 'odd' as in having lost its pair, not odd as in the type of socks I have been spotted in ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted August 3, 2007 Give it to mentor as a present...tell her it's a 'Balaclava' omit to mention no holes for mouth, nose or eyes.. If she does have a brain in residence (evidence yet to be found) then it will become apparent to her this is Dangerous!.. If she does not have a brain........ah well Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 7, 2007 Lisa's balaclava stuff in my ears so can't hear mentor stuff in mentor's ears and claim I'm communicating but she can't hear stuff in my mentor's mouth to stop her saying nasty things stuff in my mouth - well I'm supposed to have communication issues so I may as well make it obvious give to mentor to allow her to help me dress - she seems to think that's the total of my skills slice into strips to practice tying my laces with my mentor put over my hand to avoid leaving finger prints when I attack mentor sick bucket turn into sock puppet - mentor may feel more confortable if I'm unbehaving as I ought roll up and stuff into shoe to protect me from stubbing toes when I 'accidently' kick mentor use as an alternative to the plastic cup noose stuff into mentor's mouth to stop her shouting out when I attack her use to tie up mentor's arms and legs so she can't escape sitting and reading my letter tissue for when mentor upsets me sit on several of them to give me a height advantage over mentor use to cover up my eyes so she doesn't expect eye contact use to cover up mentor's eyes for firing squad use to cover up firing squad's eyes to make death more interesting cut two holes and use as a teacosy for the chocolate teapot use to mop up the melted teapot when she gets in a sweat over being found out give to mentor's house elf so mentor has to understand what real work is use as a wolly cap to wear in winter by which time mentor might have realised her faults give to mentor as something to write her minutes on which haven't been done so far use to wipe sweat drops off mentor's forehead use to hide electrical shock probe to stun mentor stuff up my nose to avoid smelling mentor's Eau-de-poop Number 23 hang off one of my ears to make her think I've gone dolarry and she can really help me give to mentor to wear as a tie seeing as she likes to put on the smart act use to tie up my hair so I look ready to fight mrs mentor tie several round my hands as boxing gloves tie several together as a rope to escape from mentor out of the window tie several elastic ones together as a short bungee jump with a long rope for mentor use to tie mentor into electric chair use to block full charge on electric chair so torture is gradually increased and suffering is maximised use as miniture coffins for each bit of mentor when she accidentally gets chopped up use as hot air balloons and baskets to disperse mentor into the atmosphere in small bits use as a string for a string telephone so my tutor can listen in to mentor being horrid use to hide recorder in so I can secretely record the mentor as she is with me tie up appropriately to make a voodoo doll of my mentor and jab it repeatedly with something very very sharp use to stem blood flow when I accidentally chop off mentor's arm cut into a long strip and give to mentor as a designer belt to add to her designer dresses and shopping bag use to put mentor's watch in and hammer to pieces as in step one of the magic trick - well she's so bad at telling the time it wouldn't make any difference give to mentor as a glass for her celebratory getting rid of mentor drink tie round mentor's finger as a visual reminder to do something - check her emails more than once a week tell mentor individual socks are my new obsession and bring it to the meeting use as elastic in a catapult to aim objects at mentor use as a bib to avoid getting blood on my clothes in attacking mentor use elastic to shoot mentor's tubes forward a little faster seeing as she always catches the 'late one' peel into string, roll round mentor and use mentor as a yo-yo peel into bandage width strips and leave with attacked mentor to help her repair herself (see, I'm a nice Mumble really ) peel into bandage width strips and wrap mentor up as an egyptian mummy an leave her in the British museum use as a well bucket and rope and lower mentor into nearest well and leave her there use as climbing rope for mentor but forget to tie other end to anything mentor lead to take her back to the dogs pound use to tie door handle to something strong so she can't escape whilst she reads my letter use to leash mentor into room as double precaution against escape whilst reading letter give to mentor as one of those little sacks people tie to sticks when they have to run away use as guide rope to find my way quickly back to a place of safety tomorrow throw several at mentor to confuse her enough to allow me to escape stuff to make it look like a snake to scare mentor into running away use as wind sock to indicate when mentor talking lots of nonsense is arriving use several as a crash mat to demonstrate to mentor that jumping off a cliff is totally safe before removing for her turn use several tied as a rope to create an arial zipwire as a quick getaway from mentor use as symephor flags to send messages about what mentor is saying to my tutor use as a purse to hold the money to show mentor what she won't get paid for her ineffectualness use as computer cover to keep mentor's unused email checking computer dust free use to avoid hyperventilating when mentor upsets me use as mittens to stop me sctratching myself to pieces through stress caused by mentor fill with flour, tie tightly and use as a stress ball in mentoring meeting fill with flour, don't tie tightly and throw at mentor as a decoy use to turn into a beanbag frog as company for me in meeting bewitch and turn into invisability cloak so I can smuggle forum friends into meeting give to mentor as a blanket to keep warm on the streets when no one wants her as a mentor wear over my nose as a trunk to remind mentor that elephants never forget about the treatment given to them wear over my head and pull hair through so she might understand what I see when I look at faces and stop suggesting she can cure me by looking at lots of photos stuff several and use as cushions so at least I am semi comfortable sitting through my mentoring meeting use as a fly swiper and claim ignorance when I hit mentor use as an envelope to post mentor back to her employers and ask for a refund give to mentor to use as a pencil case so she has access to tools to write some minutes use to hid choccy rations to get me through the mentoring meeting use as a sock puppet to give me someone with more brains than my mentor to talk to during my mentoring meeting use to wipe blood off my weapons before storing them incase disability officer replaces her with someone equally hopeless peel into wool and use to take up knitting to occupy myself during mentoring meeting peel into wool and use to take up cochet during mentoring meeting give to mentor and ask her to unpeel it and find how many sock worths of wool it takes to reach the moon - then shoot the moon out of orbit when she gets there and wave bye bye give to mentor to use as a pillow in prison when Mr Plod finds out how nasty she is give to Mr Plod to use as hand cuffs on mentor give to mentor as a small stocking to hang for Father Christmas saying that's all she's worth place over mentor's stiletto heels so she can't hurt me with these if she gets cross give to mentor as a parachute and let her do a sponsored jump give to mentor as a beach towel and make her think she's put on lots of weight sew several together as wall paper and repaper room mentor is in whilst she's against the wall take mentor camping and give sock to mentor as her tent give to mentor to wave as flag so I can recognise her in a crowded room because obviously I'm not trying sew several together as a suitcase should I have to escape from mentor and hide out in Scotland for a while chop into tiny bits, recycle into paper, use to print my thesis on and present to mentor as proof I'm not stupid give to mentor, tell her it's a paper clip and laugh at her struggling to make it work make mentor wear a stripey one that doesn't coordinate her outfit to make her feel uncomfortable and perhaps know how she makes me feel use to model a new mentor - well it'll listen as much as the current one send to mentor when she's left as a thankyou pressie for all she's done for me :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: Well I feel (a little) better now. Next: 101 uses for a paperclip Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted August 7, 2007 Mumble I can't see for tears...you've made me laugh so much I'm crying! I'll get round to paper clips in a minute when I can see! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted August 7, 2007 Seriously....I've only only got to number 56 again now and I'm sitting here laughing my SOCKS off! Ta daa"!""" If you get bored with your PHD you definately have a career elsewhere! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites