has anyone ever had this

[shars]

My son has asbergers, ADHD and was born premature,my brother says there is nothing wrong with him, he feels I have never recovered from him being born so early.He says the reason I have problems with my son is because I still need to see there somethings wrong and the problems are with me.anybody else had such negative response from people close. Shars xoxoxox

[shars]

My son has asbergers, ADHD and was born premature,my brother says there is nothing wrong with him, he feels I have never recovered from him being born so early.He says the reason I have problems with my son is because I still need to see there somethings wrong and the problems are with me.anybody else had such negative response from people close. Shars xoxoxox

[KateBall]

Well he doesn't sit on the fence does he? I've not had such an opinionated response as that but I'm sure some of my family/friends/acquaintances just think it is a question of me doing the wrong thing with my ds. The trouble is much of the problems experienced by some AS children happen within the family home and not whilst friends or family are there - fleetingly at least. You know your brother is wrong and is not being very supportive. Does he care how you feel? Why is he such an expert?

[Clare63]

Sometimes I think its hard for close family members to accept a diagnosis and then react in such a way, we had simular, usually blaming me for being too soft, too protective, too spoiling etc etc etc.,

 

Hopefully in time he'll come round and perhaps discover in good time the differences.

 

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Clare x x x

[shars]

i sugested he read Toni Attwoods book but he declined he said theres nothing wrong with your son its you. I am hurt I experience this every day its the norm. But Id hoped my closest and dearest would support me. You know my son is so well behaved in company, I understand his doubt.But when hes comfortable, does he let go. I feel I fight the education system,but for my family to say no no I feel totally alone. shars

[pearl]

Ho yes yes yes. When JP was being assessed MIL blamed us for babying him.

She came round eventually though. But I'll never forget that kick in the teeth.

[Kazzer]

Hiya Shars,

 

I know the place u are in...

My Brillant Brother and Sister in law ( school teacher ) - who i have always taken advice from ...

 

they did the whole thing , me and the DH - are not tough enough, me and the DH allow poor behavour !

 

it has been 18 months since we started the process, an we just do not discuss JC's AS,

 

This means we see much less of them these days , which is sad as JC loves his Uncle...

 

Hey . life to short to worry about those that are not on your "space ship"

Keep smiling - My DH's Family are cool totally on board with it all -

 

 

k

[shars]

Thanks for your replys ,,glad to hear you had the same experience.Dont mean that in a bad way, but thankfully im not alone,yes Pearl it was a kick in the teeth,,,huge kick in the teeth,,,,I now have a very strained relationship with my brother which I could really really do with out at the moment,,,Has any body heard of cassandra sydrome....I really didnt need this,, It angers me that our kids need for some understanding,,,just a little ,,,small amount,, but its the same old brick wall.......XOXOXO

[taggingalong]

hi shars i know how you feel if thats any consolation. my dh says everything is my fault. his dyslexia is due to me not reading with him 24,7 his behavioural problems and his odd ways are just me again.. i could go on. i will not even start on dhs problems lol. the bottom line is your his mother and you know. anything knew that comes up about my ds i dont even discuss with my dh as mr know it all knows nothing. actually i was thinking about getting him checked out. lol. my thoughts are with you and you are not alone.

[taggingalong]

oh and one small thing i forgot to mention i threw him out. lol.

[lynyona]

My eldest who is nearly thirty(kierans 21 now) still says that we ve let him get away with to much thats all thats up with him.

[sesley]

unfortunately people are generally ignorant regarding ASD etc and make up allsorts of rediculous negative ideas and look for someone or thing to blame and the fact is that people on the spectrum have a hidden disability and so are just deemed as strange/naughty children uncontrolled deliquents that are the faults of the parents who indulge them too much,unlike someone in a wheel chair or with a Guide dog or hearing aids, who are obviously disabled and are worthy of sympathy and understanding.

[maisies_mummy]

I did blame myself at first, and then everyone was blaming me and dh but on our first meeting with CAMHS they said it was not our fault so felt heaps better, but I do still getthe odd person who says DD is spoilt etc........ thing is I have 3 children all as spoilt as eachother and the others are not like her I dont think spoiling them with clothes matters to a 5 yr old, she is not spoilt with toys and if anything she was spoilt with my attention because I was trying so hard to help her through her tantrums!

 

I think the teachers think I am a bit crazy! They see the nice side of DD so as yet she is not a problem to them

 

You dont need people like that around you hun <'>

 

Caroline x

[lil_me]

<'> not worth listening to comments like that

 

ones I find struggle to accept it the most are the ones who see themselves in my son, like my partner at first, comments like 'He's just like I was' that why the psychiatrist said 'It isn't too late for him to be assessed you know'

[fiorelli]

We are 'lucky' (?!) in that my sister and her husband have had L to stay at theirs for a week, and we often do return visits where they stay at ours for a weekend and they stay at ours for a weekend (and even spent a holiday together in a big 2 bed apartment!), so they have seen L at his best and his worst. They are in no doubt that he has AS/ADHD - they have seen his difficulties for themselves, and have no problem in telling others of their experiences.

 

Because of this - and what we tell others in the family - all are accepting that he has this condition. Yes, we have had the 'he needs to spend a week with us, we'll sort him out' comments, but a smile and change of the conversation usually sorts that out.

 

Keep your chin up.

[Frangipani]

<'> not worth listening to comments like that

 

ones I find struggle to accept it the most are the ones who see themselves in my son, like my partner at first, comments like 'He's just like I was' that why the psychiatrist said 'It isn't too late for him to be assessed you know'

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