visit to new school on monday

[loulou]

Hi everyone,

 

The time has finally come for Kai to visit his new school on Monday and i'm petrified about how he's going to react.

 

He's been out of school for a year and is totally phobic about anything to do with school/learning.

 

I haven't told him yet, because i know he's going to kick off in a big way.

 

I don't know when or what to tell him!

 

If i mention the "S" word, he's just going to go ballistic.

 

The EWO said i should tell him it's a place for special children to go, who have had a bad time at school.

 

This is difficult. I want the experience to be positive, not frightening for him.

 

Anyone else been through this? Any suggestions as to what i say to him?

 

My brain is totally dead!!!!!

 

I have visions of him doing a runner in the school car park!

 

Loulou x

[nellie]

Oh Loulou <'>

 

I understand how you feel. It might be an idea if you could appear confident and positive about this, he might pick up on your mood. ok...I know...it's asking the impossible. I would only say positive things but don't lie, he will find out you are lying and you will lose his trust as far as school goes.

 

Tony Attwood says that these kids love to be told how clever they are, keep praising him. Even if he fails, praise him for trying.

 

This is a long shot but it's what I would do if I had a child that had a real fear of going to school. I would allow him to come home at any point, but he must leave the house for school. It could take a few days or longer, but it would be under his control. Sadly the school may not like this idea as they might think you were allowing him to take control.

 

Another idea..... if you do manage to get him to school, take him home when he's happy and doing something interesting, he will be more inclined to want to go back.

 

You know him best and what will work and what won't work. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you both.

 

 

Nellie <'>

[big mamma]

LouLou,

 

I'm sorry I have no useful advice for you but just wanted to wish you and your son well for Monday. <'>

[barefoot wend]

loulou

 

My only advice would be 'go with what your heart tells you'. Too often I've listened to advice from experts and other Mums only to find it was wrong. You know your child best.

 

I'm certain both you and Kai will find the right way.

 

Barefoot

[noogsy]

hi im new. just a thought about using reverse phsycology.i have learned by pulling facts on there axis my wee one will accept most things. why not let him think that it is YOU going to look at the school and he is going with you to support YOU.YOU SEE IT IS IN YOUR BEST INTRESTS THAT HE GOES TO SCHOOL SO IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU LOOK AT THE SCHOOL WITH HIM AS YOUR SECOND IN COMMAND.be very very carefull with your words in fact use as little words as you possibly can.make sure you tell him the truth.DONT USE THE SCHOOL WORD as this might freek him out maybe call it the scheme.just to get him in the door.make sure the people at the school know your tack.then when you get him there he might actually like the company.if you are aloud stay near him DO IT.i know this is clutching at straws but i would probably have to take a unusual approach with my wee boy. i dont think this a unreasonable request.my wee boy when he is upset grabs hold of me and wont let go.he also sleeps on my chest.he also sticks his head up my jumper and wont come out when he is unsure about whats going on.all very cute when you are seven maybe not when you are seventeen.hope this helps. noogsy

[Jericho]

I don't have any experience of this but just wanted to wish you good luck for Monday. I hope it all goes well.

[loulou]

Hi noogsy,

 

I think my son sounds like yours! I couldn't just say to him, "Ok Kai, we're going to see your new school." He would flip!

 

I have to think up a cunning plan! Reverse psychology sometimes works, but usually he susses me out!

 

I think i'm worrying about it, which won't help either. He is soooooo phobic of school after what the b******s at his old school have put him through.

 

He can't understand why any child would LIKE school

 

His new school does have a big pond with lots of fish in. Kai LOVES fish (he would live at the London Aquarium if he had the chance!). I might phone the Head on Monday morning and ask if Kai could be given the "special responsibility" of looking after the fish.

 

Might work!

 

Loulou x

[Rabbit]

Good Luck loulou.....just hope everything goes well......think the fish idea is a really good one.

 

[Kathryn]

Loulou,

 

I don't have any wisdom to pass on, but just wanted to say good luck for Monday. I hope the visit goes really well and Kai gets to meet the fish.

 

K

[noogsy]

goodluck tomorrow dear noogsy

[bid]

Good luck tomorrow Loulou <'>

 

Bidx

[Jericho]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you today.

[mossgrove]

Fingers crossed here too!

[Rabbit]

Let us know how it goes wont you?