Child getting hurt at school

[Emum]

My DD who is 6 goes to a very good ASD special school. The staff-pupil ratios are very good, and in the class that she is in, are currently 1:1.

 

The problem is that she is the only girl in the class, and is a quiet not very assertive child. There is one little boy who is prone to lashing out when he get frustrated, and unfortunately as my DD is so quiet he tend to rush across the room and hit her when he gets upset. Since November I am aware of four incidents, all of which have left noticeable injuries on her face - a black eye, a deep bite, and deep scratches across her face and eye twice. I do wonder how many other times this has happened without a mark being left on her without me being told about it. She is non-verbal so not able to tell me what's going on, but she has been having a very stressful time since the start of this school year for the first time since she started the school 4 years ago.

 

School say that neither she nor the child in question can be moved into a different class, and the 1:1 staffing ratio was put in place following the last but one incident to try to protect her, but another incident happened yesterday.

 

Does anyone have any ideas or advice on how to address this? Home educating is not an option as my own health is not so good at the moment, and there aren't any other schools in the immediate area which I'd be happy to send her to (and in all other respects this school is good for her).

[JsMum]

This situation must be very stressful and it does need attention and sorting out immediatly, I would demand a meeting with the school and your LEA and threaten to go throw the complaints procedure, I would want to know that for my child to be in a school he is safe from harm.

 

Your daughter is clearly in a situation that causes her harm and distress.

 

That alone I would arrange a meeting and refuse to send her back into school until it is dealt with.

 

For further information and advice I would ring the NAS Education Line

 

NETWORK 81 and ACE-ED education help lines.

 

The school should be considering your daughters safety above all other aspects of educational needs in relation to other children.

 

JsMum

[Bagpuss]

Emum, so sorry to read what has been happening at school to your daughter. You must be very upset, especially so that your child is non verbal, and cannot relate to you what has taken place. As you say, how many other times has an incident happened, and it has not been brought to your attention? It's a tricky one isn't it, as the pupil/staff ratio appears to be good, and I'm unsure what advice to give. I think JsMum's suggestions are definately worth trying. Our youngest DD was being targeted by a particular child at school. We were told by the TA in the class that this particular child was volatile and always singled DD out. He would tease her, but when I spoke to her teacher about it, she down played it, and said this boy knew what "buttons to press" with our DD to get a reaction. He would also hit her when he felt frustrated and lashed out. We also found ourselves in a difficult position, because the TA told us one thing (then later left), the teacher told us another and DD continually changed her story. We did constantly raise it, so DD's teacher realised we were aware of it, and were monitoring it. If I were you, I would also make sure I photographed all evidence of injuries. Do you know how they dealing with the child in question when he hits your daughter or what strategies they have in place to try and prevent it from occurring? Your daughter should not be consistently subjected to this, it's disgraceful, and the school need to be taking it very, very seriously.

Edited February 29, 2008 by Bagpuss

[Karen A]

<'> <'> Sorry that things are still difficult at school.

I used the ACE helpline last year when I needed support...they were very helpful.Karen.

[hev]

i dont understand that if there is one to one with each child how the boy is managing to hurt your child so much without the teacher intervening

 

it must be very distressing for you all,i would go to the head again and voice your concerns,your dd shouldnt be subjected to this <'>

[pookie170]

Oooo, Emum, what a horrible situation for you both! I would have to query WHY they can't move one of the children to a different class? They can't say that and not say why, under the circumstances! Think it's a great idea for you to catalogue your girl's injuries too. I hope it stops for your daughter's sake, but if not, the Head might be more inclined to do something positive about it if he knows you're doing this. Also, I would think having many pictures of different injuries presented might be a bit of a wake-up call- it's easy for them to let past injuries be forgotten (but not so for you 2 who have to live with it!) but that might bring home how volatile and harmful the present situation is.

I too, would ask how your daughter and the boy in question are being handled prior to and after these incidents- but if they can't stop them happening then they have to do something to lessen the liklihood of injury occurring. They have a responsibility to protect your daughter...and the little boy too, for that matter. IIt's likely he could injure himself as well if they can't contain the situation!

Best of luck, and don't let them fob you off!

Esther x

[Emum]

I'm bumping this in case anyone else reading the boards has any experience or insight either as a parent of the victim or the aggressor.

 

I did try NAS, ACE and Network 81 who were all horrified and very sympathic but other than suggesting I sued the school for negligence, didn't have a lot of constructive advice about what I could do if I wanted to keep her in the school.

 

In the meantime, she has been very unhappy and stressed by the incident (which the school are not acknowledging) and self-harmed at school today (after I had warned them this morning this was a high risk because her stress levels were so high last night). Her teacher's response was that she had self harmed because she was being naughty (she wanted extra food at lunchtime which was refused), and she completely failed to acknowledge that a stressed child who is at risk of self-harm is at a higher risk when she has been thwarted or during transitions, so should be watched more closely (bearing in mind that she has 1:1 support so this is not a manpower issue)

 

The head has been out of school, and is due back tomorrow when we have a meeting in the diary. The school has apparently done more risk assessments and behaviour plans for the other child, but I'm still not happy that my DD's needs are being recognised or met. I've been told that she is "happy as Larry" at school this week, but she is withdrawn and sitting weeping quietly at home, or smearing her own faeces round the house (she is toilet trained and this isn't one of her behaviours) so it is very very clear that she is very far from happy about what is happening to her.

[Bagpuss]

Best of luck when you meet with the Head Emum <'>

[baddad]

Hi E-Mum...

 

A really difficult situation Hope you can find some solutions soon...

 

Looking at both your posts: One suggestion I'd offer that might help would be to step back and try to 'unravel' all of the various factors, because to me it may not be quite as simple as the aggression issue you've highlighted.

 

You say she's been in the school for four years and this is the first time you've run into these problems. Has this particular child always been in her class, and have these incidents always occurred or are they new? That may sound 'odd' (because obviously the incidents shouldn't be happening at all) but I think it's important to establish what 'change' has occurred to identify the underlying causes.

What other changes occurred this year over the last three? Support staff? Teacher? Support strategies? Friends leaving? New kids joining? Increased workload?

 

One other thing I'd suggest is that maybe she has become more socially 'aware' - maybe she's responding differently to these incidents because she's gained some understanding that it is 'unfair' rather than just 'how it is'. That's a huge step forward (if it is part of what's happening) in social understanding and personal awareness (theory of mind), but on the downside it does mean she will have also become more aware of the effect she can have on the world in certain situations. Not as simple or straightforward as the teacher would have it, but the lunchtime incident could be part of that process, and that would need to be taken into account with regard to appropriate responses.

 

Hope that's helpful, and good luck with the meeting

 

Oh - final thought: I always think keeping the kids from going to school is a double-edged sword that can create unhelpful precedents - Don't want them thinking that problems in school can be temporarily resolved by 'exclusions' from either end

 

L&P

 

BD

[Emum]

Thanks Baddad. The child only joined her class last year, and although there were a few incidents last year when he frightened her, I'm not aware of anything on this scale.

 

There have been numerous changes of staff - teachers and teaching assistants in the class this year, which I'm also not happy about, but staff keep leaving so there's not much school can do. There are no staff now there who started in September, and most of them have only been there a matter of weeks. The teacher started just before Christmas. One of the things I need to check tomorrow is how much training they've all had. They are getting support from senior staff in the school but as far as the kids are concerned its a constantly changing environment, and this is adding to their stress levels. Also she is the only girl in the class this year. She did have a friendship of sorts with another girl last year but she has now returned to mainstream.

 

The aggressor child has had some changes in his life (new sibling) and my DD has also had some (we moved house in August). I don't think she is doing anything to provoke these attacks though - apparently they happen when she is quietly working at her own workstation not interacting with this child in any way.

 

I am very concerned about the emotional aspect, of course, but also the physical aspect too. This child is doing a lot of damage with his bare hands and it doesn't take too much imagination to envisage what would happen if he hit out whilst holding a pair of scissors for example

[jb1964]

Your daughter should not be consistently subjected to this, it's disgraceful, and the school need to be taking it very, very seriously.

 

Hi Emum,

 

I'm with Bagpuss on this one - I can't believe the school are not putting things in place to stop this - surely if she's getting 1:1 - I don't understand how this is continuing to happen - a black eye and a deep bite is not just a push or a kick as they run past each other while playing outside etc - if he's rushing from the other side of the room - where is his TA? does he get 1:1?

 

My daughter was continually hurt by the same child when she was in yr 3 and it caused her stress and anxiety levels to become so high that it was a physical and mental struggle every day for months to get her to school - she is extremely verbal but very quiet and it was only because my mother witnessed it happen on several occasions that we were aware of it - her obsessions and behaviour had became so bad but we didn't know why - she's never had support in school (mainstream) but once the school was aware of it - things definitely improved.

 

This really could escalate into a major problem for your daughter especially if she is self harming and behaving not as she would normally.

 

Take care,

Jb

[hev]

how did the meeting go?

[Emum]

Very well thanks. Despite telling us earlier in the year there was no practical way of doing so, the children are going to be separated, and the boy is to be moved to a different class, and DD will be supported through her current upset. I had a chance to talk to both the Class Teacher and the Head separately. I'm relieved they aren't going to move her, as am not sure she would cope well with the upheaval on top of everything else.

 

I'm glad we have got this result, as it is on the whole a lovely school, and it would have been a shame to have to move her if this situation couldn't have been resolved.

 

Thanks for the advice, everyone and for the PMs also

[oxgirl]

Emum, I'm glad this situation has been taken seriously and dealt with appropriately. Hope things go smoothly from now on for your little girl. We have had a situation like this in the past and the Unit staff have all but shrugged their shoulders and admitted that there was nothing more they could do to stop the bullying of my son. In the end, they seemed to leave it up the whim of the child who was bullying him as to whether he felt in the mood to upset my lad or not. Luckily, at the moment, he seems to be not frightening or upsetting my son so much as he has in the past, but how much of that is the school's intervention and how much is just 'luck' I'm not sure. I only hope that when he decides to torment my son again that the school will actually DO something about it.

 

Anyway, hope your little girl soon settles back down again. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Karen A]

<'> That is good news.I do hope the teacher and support staff in the other class are able to support the boy too and to prevent difficulties in the other class.Karen.