Want to run away....................

[ASue67]

What a night.................... Mike has been trying to play a game online which the boys in his class seem to be into. It is really way too old for him and he just can't understand it at all so he is just getting more and more frustrated and wound up all the time. he ended up crashing round the house banging all the doors and throwing things and then sat on the floor in his bedroom screaming and sobbing and hitting his head with his fist over and over again. I kept trying to stop him and calm him down but he wouldn't let me for ages. Took over half an hour to calm him down to a point where I could get him a drink and give him some Calpol. That was nearly 2 hours ago and he is still trying to calm down in his room now.

 

Chris was downstairs during all this, and when I eventually went down he was sobbing cos he thought social services would come and take me away cos of the way Mike is.

 

I am soooooooooo stressed and fed up with everything. It is wearing me out.

 

Boys still not seeing their dad, he has made no contact with them whatsoever in the last 3 months and it is 7 months since they saw him.

 

So I am not getting a break at all........ am going back to work next Tuesday after 2 months signed off with acute stress!!!! HELP!!!!!!

 

I just want to sit and bawl my eyes out but I can't cos it will upset Chris............... so am bottling everything up and I feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode.

 

This is the only place I can turn to to vent my feelings......... sorry

[zaman]

<'>

 

No words of wisdom, sorry.

 

My son's Nintendo causes great heartache at times - far more emotions get attributed to that than any person!

[morgan and alexandra]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I know just how you feel. I felt like that at the weekend, but feeling a bit better now. Last week we had 4 meltdowns before DD had even got to school. I somehow managed to get her there but couldn't speak to anyone as I was soooo choked.

 

I have found that just making sure DD is safe helps but I have to leave her alone to calm herself down as any intervention I make just makes it 10 times worse. It took me a long time to realise that I made things worse for her and now I've backed off she tends to come out of them a bit quicker. It tears you up doesn't it.

 

You are a great mum, just remember that.

 

Helen

xxx

[JsMum]

I am sorry to hear that you have not had a good time of it tonight, meltdowns are totally exhausting for all of you, including mike, games are definate a trigger for J too, so we limit or conferscate totally, this has included this week sky because he was terrible, and things are so much better already, he has a limit amount of time now.

 

Do you have any anger management equiptment? punchbag comes to mind, and some work books that help us deal with our frustrations.

 

It does sound very hard right now, do you have any support at all?

 

In my worse times I got a lot of support from

 

Contact a Family

Nas

KIDS

 

Also try your council for services to siblings who have a brother or sister with a special needs because there is usually a group for them to attend, or activities.

 

Here is some hugs and you will pull throw this difficult time, hope that your evening goes a little better.

 

JsMum

[Kinda]

ASue67

 

 

You are a great mum and doing your best all I can say is if you can create some "me time" for you say somthing like a nice bath, music, book and glass of wine?

[ASue67]

Thanks for your replies..................... survived the night, didn't sleep well but am still in one piece!!!!!

 

Have got no support at all, no family near by. Have contacted all the places everyone has suggested and these is just nothing round here at all.............. believe me I have tried!!!!

 

My next step I think is to write to social services for an assessment of needs.......... too tired to think about it right now.

 

Thanks everyone, it is good to know there are people who understand. <'>

[JsMum]

Hi I have no family near by either, its incredibly isolating and the extra pressure because you get no you time, it really is vital that you try to find some of that time for yourself, our family had a core assessment by social services and after writing to the manager of social services and contacting my MP I now have good support package from social services.

 

here is what is available for me and J.

 

A sessional worker that takes J out once a week to do activities and the guy is a gem and totally experienced in specail needs.

 

Evening care workers mon-fri

 

A 1-1 support worker for me to help me with behaviour management

 

A social worker

 

It was incrediablly difficult to get the help but it does help, sometimes I wished I hadnt of bothered when the service is pants but when it works it is supportive and there was a time not long ago that I couldnt do it and J nearly ended up in care which would of been disaterous.

 

I really do have to stress that It is isnt fair on your family if your not getting the right help, please do contact social services and express your difficulties with raising a child with special needs.

 

I do hope that the assessment comes up with some help and support.

 

JsMum

[mossgrove]

<'> <'>

 

When you are feeling stronger applying to Social Services for an assessment of your needs is probably a good idea.

 

Making the initial application is not the complicated bit, there are some model letters on the NAS website you can copy and use.

 

Are you receiving DLA?

 

Simon

Edited March 12, 2008 by mossgrove

[pearl]

<'> ASue <'> pm to follow

[poppy]

just looking round to see if antone going thrugh same probs as us at the mo and ...low and behold someone mentions getting an assement of your needs by social service.I'd forgotten you can do that-we get so wrapped up iin the here and now of ous childrens problems that we need a little memory jog.

[forbsay]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[purplehaze]

Hello Asue, wow you just described my life! So I understand completely. The one thing you must try and do is let out your feelings. Sometimes I go into the bathroom after or even during a melt down and just sob (sometimes this is the best thing because that way your both letting go of your frustrations). I know it is so hard at times. I too have another child who feels stressed due to my sons behaviour.

 

It is extremly hard to find the right support, an assessment may help you, I have been thinking about this too. Just keep posting on here and you will get some support from people who understand. X

Edited March 12, 2008 by purplehaze

[Clare63]

Sue ~ <'> <'> <'>

I truly hope you get some much needed support/respite real soon, in the meantime remember we are all here for you and probably understand more than you'll ever know.

 

Would it be possible to get Chris involved by perhaps helping with the online game, I expect Mike is trying to fit in by playing the same game as his peers.

 

Sorry don't have much to offer apart from some hugs and understanding, take care Hun and stay strong, your doing a brilliant job and don't be so hard on yourself you are only human.

 

Clare x x x x

[ASue67]

Thanks for all the hugs and advise!

 

Heading out to do school run soon, just hoping Mike is ok tonight. Got parents evening appts for both boys after school which is throwing the routine tonight which isn't a good start!

 

<'>

[ASue67]

<'> <'>

 

When you are feeling stronger applying to Social Services for an assessment of your needs is probably a good idea.

 

Making the initial application is not the complicated bit, there are some model letters on the NAS website you can copy and use.

 

Are you receiving DLA?

 

Simon

 

Thanks Simon. Already get DLA - high rate care and low rate mobility.

[BuntyB]

I also understand completley. Just bought dd the computetr chair she wanted, spent the evening moving her stuff to her specifications and assembling the chair and before i'd finished, she'd thrown herself on the floor screaming and bawling and saying she wished she was dead! When we try talking to her she yells at the top of her voice 'Stop shouting at me!' but the only one shouting is her. She tells us all we give her headaches. She doesn't feel well and we are all awful to her.

No matter what I try, nothing seems to be right for her.

 

I am worried about her future. Once upon a time she seemed to be a happy little girl, now she's only contented if we leave her playing Sims by herself. Nobody is allowed near.

 

It really breaks my heart. I've been crying and the other children are all upset too. My eldest says he hates living here because everyone is always upset. I honestly don't know what to do to help her.

All I can say is it's nice to know you aren't teh only one having such an awful time!

[Karen A]

I also understand completley. Just bought dd the computetr chair she wanted, spent the evening moving her stuff to her specifications and assembling the chair and before i'd finished, she'd thrown herself on the floor screaming and bawling and saying she wished she was dead! When we try talking to her she yells at the top of her voice 'Stop shouting at me!' but the only one shouting is her. She tells us all we give her headaches. She doesn't feel well and we are all awful to her.

No matter what I try, nothing seems to be right for her.

 

I am worried about her future. Once upon a time she seemed to be a happy little girl, now she's only contented if we leave her playing Sims by herself. Nobody is allowed near.

 

It really breaks my heart. I've been crying and the other children are all upset too. My eldest says he hates living here because everyone is always upset. I honestly don't know what to do to help her.

All I can say is it's nice to know you aren't teh only one having such an awful time!

 

Shona <'> <'> <'> Sorry you are having a tough time.Karen.

[Bagpuss]

Bigs hugs Sue <'> <'>

 

Our youngest DD is 7 and has meltdowns when on her Nintendo and not being able to do a particular action or when she gets "stuck". We bought her a PS for Xmas, with really much younger games, and thought it would be lovely for her to have in her bedroom, but it had to go away because she spent most of her time on it crying, shouting and becoming increasingly distressed.

 

Hope things are looking abit brighter for you soon and take very good care of yourself.

[harmony]

Bigs hugs Sue <'> <'>

 

Our youngest DD is 7 and has meltdowns when on her Nintendo and not being able to do a particular action or when she gets "stuck". We bought her a PS for Xmas, with really much younger games, and thought it would be lovely for her to have in her bedroom, but it had to go away because she spent most of her time on it crying, shouting and becoming increasingly distressed.

 

Hope things are looking abit brighter for you soon and take very good care of yourself.

 

 

When you do run away, make sure you a have a big suitcase so I can hide in it and run away too!..... know just how you feel. I do have a question though regarding meltdowns! my AS daughter age 12 ALWAYS wets herself during an 'episode' and then I feel terrible, do you have any experience of this?

 

Harmony

[purplehaze]

I also understand completley. Just bought dd the computetr chair she wanted, spent the evening moving her stuff to her specifications and assembling the chair and before i'd finished, she'd thrown herself on the floor screaming and bawling and saying she wished she was dead! When we try talking to her she yells at the top of her voice 'Stop shouting at me!' but the only one shouting is her. She tells us all we give her headaches. She doesn't feel well and we are all awful to her.

No matter what I try, nothing seems to be right for her.

 

I am worried about her future. Once upon a time she seemed to be a happy little girl, now she's only contented if we leave her playing Sims by herself. Nobody is allowed near.

 

It really breaks my heart. I've been crying and the other children are all upset too. My eldest says he hates living here because everyone is always upset. I honestly don't know what to do to help her.

All I can say is it's nice to know you aren't teh only one having such an awful time!

 

Hello Shona, can I ask how old your daughter is, as my son is going through this at the moment. He stays in his room most of the evening and I know its because its easier for him not to deal with any communication etc because he is a teenager and its all to much.

 

So I was just wondering if your daughter was going through puberty as well as having ASD. X