Home tuition not working

[Kathryn]

Since November my 15 year old has been having what can only loosely be described as "home tuition", courtesy of the LEA. The tutor was supposed to continue with GCSE Maths, English and Science, however it became clear within a few sessions that any reminder of school (the tutor was using work set by the school) was provoking acute anxiety. Not wanting the tutor to stop coming, I suggested that she take the pressure right off and do art based activities so that L did not have the pressure to communicate in words. This worked - for a bit.

 

However L is barely cooperating - recently her drawings have become more rudimentary and the sessions which started off as 2 hours - have now shrunk to half an hour twice a week; ie. when L decides she has had enough. The tutor, to her credit, has tried hard to think of ways to engage her and recently has been bringing along playdough. L makes things, after much persuasion, but the results are what you would expect from a typical 3 year old. L doesn't speak and doesn't like the tutor to talk, so the "lesson" happens in slence.

 

I don't know what to do. It seems like a complete waste of time from an educational or even a therapeutic point of view. The tutor is very patient, gentle and kind. However the poor woman is an English teacher, is not trained in art let alone ASD and there is no purpose to the sessions. L tolerates them. I tolerate them because it's all we've got right now.

 

I want to tell Home and Hospital this is a complete waste of time and nothing is being achieved, however I'm worried that if I do this I will be deemed to have withdrawn her from school. But if I say nothing I appear to be satisfied with what we are getting.

 

Do I press for more appropriate tuition - whatever that may be? I am angry that there has been no liason between H&H and the autism advisory service and I feel we have been left out in the cold when other kids in school get this support - the tutor herself would like more support too.

 

Any ideas gratefully received!

[nellie]

Hi Kathryn,

 

This must be a really difficult situation for your daughter. I agree that there is a danger that home and hospital will say your daughter is not fit for an education. I think it should be the tutor's job to report back to home and hospital, giving a clear picture of the present situation and asking for support from the autism advisory service. Is the situation not being monitored by anyone? I don't think they should stop home education until the situation has been looked at to see if anything further can be done which may help your daughter.

 

Is your daughter able to give an opinion on the tutor or the lessons she's receiving?

 

You have my sympathy. <'>

 

Nellie xx

[barefoot wend]

Kathryn

 

I think Nellie - yet again - is perfectly correct in saying that the tutor should look in to this.

 

You should ask her to speak to her line manager and ask for assistance from the Specialist Teaching Service or equivalent. They should be able to provide some guidance even if you don't have an official statement as yet.

 

Barefoot

[loulou]

Hi Kathryn,

 

I had the same sort of experience with H&H with Kai.

 

The tutor was kind and very nice, but it was clear to me that she had no experience of children with SEN. She was totally out of her depth.

 

Kai did engage with her a couple of times, but saw the stamp on the books from his school and flipped!

 

She tried the "back to nursery" approach with Kai, which worked for about 15 minutes, then he told her to go away. He has much more fun with me, so why should he play with a stranger? Can't blame him really.

 

They do keep written records of each session, so it might be worth talking to the Tutor about this. I used the reports as "evidence" of Kai's SEN.

 

I too wondered whether to withdraw Kai from the H&H tutoring, but thought the LEA would think i was not co-operating.

 

The final straw came when Kai threw a piece of train track at the tutor when she came to the house, he went for her and i had to restrain him which was awful.

 

Kai's behaviour had regressed since the H&H tutoring began, so it wasn't doing him any good.

 

The manager of the H&H tutoring called me and we agreed that it should stop, due to Kai's aggression and stress. Phew! At least the decision was made for me!

 

I've PM'd you the name of the H&H manager, as you live in my area. If it's the same lady, she is great, so it may be worth you talking to her.

 

Good luck, Loulou xxxx

[Helen]

Kathryn,

 

I don't have any knowledge about H+H tutoring etc, so I'm unable to answer your questions.

 

Have any of the independent reports recommened a specific method of support for your daughter e.g. a residential placement? 'Home tuition' has been tried and tested but it just isn't working for your daughter - is there any way you could use this method as an example to confirm the findings from within the independent reports?

[oracle]

We had a home tutor for David for short period. He to found the situation to close to school for his liking. On her final visit David ran upstairs to get out of her way slipped in his room and broke his arm. That was when I decided that enough was enough.

 

At the risk of being controversial here maybe this young lady needs some time to repair herself? I hope that this makes sense? It may look as if you are saying no thanks to any of the avenues of help and tuition that are available but maybe she can no longer cope with any of them. Sometimes 'input' is the last thing that our kids can cope with.

 

When David had his breakdown I feared that we would never see the light of day with him again. I feared that without professional input he would be lost forever. It turned out that what he needed most was time to be himself and to do that he had to find himself. I have had many conversations with Adults who have AS and found that this is quite common. Quite a few lost themselves around puberty and found life to hard to even contemplate. Slowly they came to terms with themselves and turned a corner and moved forward.

 

I took a HUGE risk with David because I really believed that he had passed the point of no return, and I was being pressured to do all kinds of things with him by professionals that I knew were not right for him. For us backing off worked. Maybe we were just lucky? He still has some bad times but the David I remember is clearly visable most days.

 

Carole

Carole

[bevalee]

Hi Kathryn

 

I haven't got any advice to give you because i am having the same problem with my son.

 

He has been having home tutoring since September and it is a nightmare every time she comes. She is really very nice and tries her hardest with Ryan. As soon as she starts he wants a break, he won't do any writing for her whatsoever and tells her to go home all the time.

 

I don't know what is the best route to take. We go back to tribunal to try for a specialist AS school in April and i don't want to make matter's any worse with the LEA. After she leaves we go through hell with him!

[Beth]

Hi Kathryn,

 

When my son was out of school he had an extended break from anything that remotely resembled school including GCSE's. He was much too distressed to concentrate on anything.

 

When he did start some home tutoring, it had to be something that was totally functional to him e.g. he might do a project on his latest obsession or cook something that he liked to eat. It was never called school work but education.

He started off with short sessions with a structured break after every 10 minutes. He was always rewarded with an activitiy that he liked when the session ended.

I hope you can get some good ASD advice on what would suit your daugher best.

 

Take Care

 

Beth

[Kathryn]

Hi all,

 

Thanks for all the advice.

 

Nellie - The tutor is required to keep a record of every session and to report back regularly. I don't think the situation is being closely monitored , although someone senior from H&H was at the recent multi agency meeting, so they know what is going on.

 

I think L is fairly neutral about the tutor now although in the beginning she was quite hostile as she represented "school". If anything she is mildly baffled as to the purpose of the "lessons".

 

Carole, its a difficult one. She's really up and down, wanting to do things one day and totally withdrawn the next. I'm told that's common when people are starting to recover from depression. Whilst we don't want to push her to do too much, I don't think cutting her off from all contact with others is the answer either. I am burning out from being her main caregiver, companion, interpreter, playmate, tutor etc. and the less she engages with others the more I panic. ( Not to criticise the path you took, which was obviously right for you) . I just desperately need to have some of the pressure taken off as she is so dependent and demanding.

 

Back to the tuition - she desperately needs something which will engage her interest. I don't want to upset her current tutor who is very nice and has stuck with it but I think a real art therapist would be great, or something involving music.

 

Helen - the LEA already tried to twist the facts about H&H when I wrote saying she wasn't receiving adequate help - saying that she can't manage the full five hours tuition because she is medically unable to do so.

 

I think this week I will make tentative enquiries to H&H to see if there's anything else they can provide.

 

K

[oracle]

Kathryn what about someone who does specific Art and Music therapy for people with ASD? They do - I am told - exist?

 

I suppose that I was lucky with David because however demanding he became, I also had a baby and then toddler to handle to and he simply could not have my unlimited attention, it was not possible.

 

I would agree that the up's and downs do look like a sign of recovery because that is the way it went with David to. One day he was on a high and talking about doing all kinds of things and the next down and out again.

 

It did get better.

 

take care <'> carole

[Helen]

Kathryn,

 

This site has been mentioned a few times on the forum: Access to Education, for children and young people with medical needs: http://www.dfes.gov.uk/sickchildren/Pdfs/AccesstoEducation.pdf

 

Page 3 contains the contact details for the Vulnerable Children Team (DfES)- why don't you them a call, to see if some other measure of support is available for your daughter.

Edited March 13, 2005 by Helen

[Helen]

... sorry, I couldn't get the link to work before:

 

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/sickchildren/Pdfs/A...toEducation.pdf

[Kathryn]

Thanks Helen, I will check it out. I'm having trouble downloading it at the moment - I'll try again tomorrow.

 

Carole - glad to know it does get better. It seems like such a slow process. I wish someone could tell me whether she'll ever properly get her speech back as well, so far nobody has been able to shed much light on this.

 

K

[bid]

Hi

 

I'm so sorry things aren't working out. I don't have any practical advice, as Auriel loved his home tutors and was quite upset at leaving them to go away to school

 

But, you could use this in your extra evidence for the Stat Ass, as it graphically shows that your daughter needs AS specific support in a specialist environment.

 

Good luck!

 

Bidx

[nellie]

Kathryn,

 

But, you could use this in your extra evidence for the Stat Ass, as it graphically shows that your daughter needs AS specific support in a specialist environment.

 

I agree with Bid, the more evidence you have the better. I would also add, your daughter's views should be taken into consideration when decisions are being made.

 

Good luck!

 

Nellie xx

[Kathryn]

L flinches and covers her ears whenever I mention that Sue (the tutor) is coming. I asked her this morning if she could tell me what the problem was. She says that the name "Sue" tastes bad and looks bad. She lives in a synasthesic world, you see, where words have colours and shapes and textures and she feels these very strongly. It's hard to make other people understand these things!

 

I won't tell the tutor about this aversion, but we will refer to her as Mrs. _______, from now on. Luckily her surname is also the name of the main character in one of L's favourite films.

 

She doesn't exactly say that she doesn't want to do it, but her aches and pains and tiredness become worse on Monday and Friday mornings. I'm so afraid that nobody will ever be able to work with her because she can be really awkward. She gives the tutor a really hard time some days, sitting on the floor for about ten minutes before she does anything. I'm sure she does need to have the pressure removed, but then I get stuck with her full time, because our little corner of the world is a black hole as far as proper autism provision is concerned.

 

Monday morning blues - sorry!