Memory, Forgetting, Remembering

[Mumble]

If you've forgotten something - say someone's name you were trying to recall or a word for something, how do you 'find' that name/word again?

 

I was made to feel weird today because I obviously do this 'wrong' (my way works fine, so why should it be wrong? ) and it's left me really unsure. I don't want to say my way yet so I influence you, but both NTs and those somewhere on the spectrum, because I'd be interested to see if there is a difference, what to you do to remember a name or a word?

[lisa35]

"put " in in my head!?

Lisa

son say he emebersthings as little videos

 

 

 

quote name='Mumble' date='Apr 28 2008, 08:42 PM' post='210873']

If you've forgotten something - say someone's name you were trying to recall or a word for something, how do you 'find' that name/word again?

 

I was made to feel weird today because I obviously do this 'wrong' (my way works fine, so why should it be wrong? ) and it's left me really unsure. I don't want to say my way yet so I influence you, but both NTs and those somewhere on the spectrum, because I'd be interested to see if there is a difference, what to you do to remember a name or a word?

[jb1964]

If you've forgotten something - say someone's name you were trying to recall or a word for something, how do you 'find' that name/word again?

 

I was made to feel weird today because I obviously do this 'wrong' (my way works fine, so why should it be wrong? ) and it's left me really unsure. I don't want to say my way yet so I influence you, but both NTs and those somewhere on the spectrum, because I'd be interested to see if there is a difference, what to you do to remember a name or a word?

 

Hi Mumble,

 

I'm not very good at remembering names etc - but I try to use word association a lot - and it does help although can cause a little bit of a giggle if i've used something funny to remember something.

 

My daughter (asd) - is terrible for remembering things and unless she is interested in something surrounding the name/word etc she will not remember it. I've tried to get round this by linking the said word/name with something either interesting or funny so that she remembers - we did it for all the bones in the body for an exam at school and she said she had to stifle her laughs for the thigh bone which we'd linked with lederhosen (spelling!!) !!!!

 

Take care,

Jb

[llisa32]

Hiya - I don't think there is any 'right' or 'wrong' way to recall something - whatever works in the particular sitution is what I'll normally go for!

 

Example...some people at work I remember their name by thinking about which dept they work for or trying to recall some fact about them or at least first letter of name - sometimes I fail and just have to fess that my memory's not all that!

 

With mums at school I'll try and recall them by remembering which child they have and hoping the kiddies name will remind me the mums name - again not foolproof!

 

I think he's being very judgemental if he is suggesting the way you recall stuff is 'wrong' - if it works why's it wrong?

 

I suspect people have some quite bizarre ways of recalling things - and if it works - who cares!

 

Just to add...he may have just been expressing surprise at yr method - rather than meaning to imply u were 'wrong'

Edited April 28, 2008 by llisa32

[pearl]

If its not really important, like trying to remember an actors name, I put it out of my mind, then it pops in when I least expect it.

 

If its something I have to remember, like a colleague's name, I do the association thing - there was one colleague whose name I could never remember, so I thought about her rather imperious, queenly manner .... and I've never forgotten she's called Liz again.

[bid]

I have a general problem with word-finding, and either say 'thingy' or 'the thing I can't remember the name for'!! So my family and work colleagues are used to it

 

Also, I tend to substitute words, so for example, on holiday once my DH asked where something was (in the suitcase), but because I was in the kitchen I said 'in the saucepan'

 

It's a standing joke that 'airing cupboard' or 'fridge' is my stock answer to where anything is in our house...and then my family have to double-check if it's something that might realistically be in said place.

 

My mind just goes completely and utterly blank

 

Bid

[warrenpenalver]

numbers/codes i remember in strings of small portions, eg phone numbers i remember each 2 numbers. eg 01 23 45 67 89 etc.

 

words i struggle with because i rely on remembering them visually and often when i cant remember i can see where the word is but not the word. and that goes for paragraphs, exam answers etc i can often recite the book, page, paragraph etc but the words arent there.

 

Bid you do the "thingy" thing like me then!! or "thingymebob", "whatsitthing" or i just freeze up!!!

 

I sometimes when i cant remember just spout complete rubbish. i dont know im doing it :lol:Usually this is when under pressure. ive forgotten birthday like that before and just said random numbers or said im 30 or something daft. Its frustrating because i dont intend to lie like that it just comes out

 

Most other things i remember visually either as photos or videos.

 

I do this with peoples faces remember kind of like a flip book of each person with "happy face", "sad face" etc so i can recognise their feelings by manual analysis. I do this for each person i know. Flaw being when people change i cant remember what they look like!!!! I often forget work colleagues when out of uniform and out of uniform people dont have name badges for me to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Im also embarassed sometimes because unless i think specifically, i dont learn peoples real name just thier work title. for example at work im called SCO (signal communications officer) and everyone else has similar abbreviated titles.

 

I got in trouble last year because i didnt know my Boss's name because i never learnt it. Hes called "sir" and is the submarines captain why do i need his name??

[smiley]

Don't think there is a wrong way - or a right way, whatever the heck works for you! Same goes for ASD way or NT way, depends on how ya' built and your processing strengths i think......

 

I only know that my way is an odd way because i was explaining it to the one who dx'd me.... who then went 'what??!!!'.

 

I think in colours first - i am dreadful at remembering peoples names, but i normaly have a colour i associate with them - not anything i've deliberately 'added' to them, just something my mind automatically does - i also think in visual words ie; word that i can see in my minds eye (confused yet??!). So a name will be a certain colour and i can 'see' it iyswim. Like this Smiley. If i forget a name, i shut my eyes and think of the colour that person has for me (remember the colour selection is not something i'm aware of, so is easy to recal) - and then the name will pop into my head in that colour...............

 

If i'm trying to find something lost - the colour of that room will pop into my head before the word of the room. So i will quite often answer 'Where's the sellotape?' with 'purple'......

 

It's frustrating, because the answer for me is instant - but i then have to add the word to the colour i'm thinking of - often making me take a while to respond.

 

For other, more abstract things - i have a filing cabinet of sorts - and i will flip through it to the bit i need! All coloour coded too.....

 

Bet'cha wished you hadn't asked now.............

[pearl]

oooh, that sounds like synaesthesia (sp?) Smiley

[ScienceGeek]

I regularly have conversations with gf that goes along the lines of "where is the thingymabob, I last saw it on the thingy on top of the whooseamawotsit". Strangely she knows what I'm on about the majority of the time. With regards to names I'm not too bad at remembering them.

[Kinda]

I'm not good at remembering names which is because I get a bit tense when I first meet people. How I do it is to think of the name and relate it to someone I know with that name so when I see him/her he's a Kevin or a Christine etc.

[Mumble]

Thanks everyone, it's been interesting and reassuring because I felt like a bit of a freak yesterday at doing this 'wrong' but it seems that may not be the case I've been trying so so hard these last few weeks to 'normalise' (I know lots of peeps won't like that - part of me doesn't like it - but I have to do it at the moment for my own survival ) that to be told so blatantly that I'm 'different' really hurt me.

 

I lose words as Bid says and it's really really frustrating - lots of thingys and wotsits - so I told someone recently that I had for breakfast thingys and a thingummy - I wasn't trying to be silly, I really wasn't, I just couldn't find the words even though I could see the products (croissants and a yogurt) in my mind

 

On the remembering thing, I loose words when talking to academics about me work - which was how this came up, because I was asked how I find the words again, and I explained that I remember a conversation where the word I want has been used previously (by me or someone else) and re-run that encounter in my head to 'hear' the word I need. I know when I first read something of Temple Grandin's I felt relief because it wasn't just me who did this - mine is slightly different in that my re-runs are as if they are on old worn out film - the images aren't clear and they never have people in them - people are represented by a dark shapes that I know is the person (that sounds weird, I know what I mean - I think it's more to do with having trouble with faces).

 

I was told that the way 'people' (hmm, does the way that was said imply I'm not thought of as a person? ) remember something they've forgotten is that they make a conscious effort not to make an effort to remember it and then they remember it. I don't do this. I was just wondering what others would say they do.

 

Even if I do it wrong, why should it matter? Isn't individuality interesting?

[bid]

I was told that the way 'people' (hmm, does the way that was said imply I'm not thought of as a person? ) remember something they've forgotten is that they make a conscious effort not to make an effort to remember it and then they remember it. I don't do this. I was just wondering what others would say they do.

 

Sorry, but what a load of old pods!!

 

All that matters is that you have a way that works for you, and I seriously doubt that 'people' all have the same method, anyway!!

 

At least you have a method, I just stare blankly, close my eyes or disolve into giggles

 

Take no notice <'>

 

Bid <'>

[smiley]

oooh, that sounds like synaesthesia (sp?) Smiley

 

Have a gold star chickadee - you're right

 

Me and me boys heads are screwed on backwards (M's exactly the same - makes for interesting conversations! )..........

 

I've been waiting to see Ian Jordan for yeeeaaaarrrrsssss now - but can'ne afford it. Anyone in the NHS looks at me as though i have three heads if i try to explain it to them........ . Even M's super-dooper all singing, all dancing, sensory OT had never heard of it...

[pearl]

I was told that the way 'people' (hmm, does the way that was said imply I'm not thought of as a person? ) remember something they've forgotten is that they make a conscious effort not to make an effort to remember it and then they remember it. I don't do this. I was just wondering what others would say they do.

 

That only works for me when it doesnt matter, when its just something I want to remember, not particularly communicate to another person. I mean, it can take hours! Wouldnt work right in the middle of a conversation. I regularly lose words there & just sort of burble on talking gibberish till I get back on track & my audience is like

 

When the children were little, I regularly used to lose the word "fireguard" : "is the thingy round the fire?" Now they are grown up & we don't need a fireguard, I never lose it!

 

Even if I do it wrong, why should it matter? Isn't individuality interesting?

 

You arent, it doesnt, & yes it is! You carry on the way you are!

[warrenpenalver]

I think in colours first - i am dreadful at remembering peoples names, but i normaly have a colour i associate with them - not anything i've deliberately 'added' to them, just something my mind automatically does -

The thing i find amazing about this is the automatic allocation and association of colours!!! If im learning things for exams colour association is in my opinion one of the simplist and best ways to learn things. Yet strangely when learning manually you can get colours wrong, ie some colours seem to flow better in the memory in certain orders!!

 

On the remembering thing, I loose words when talking to academics about me work - which was how this came up, because I was asked how I find the words again, and I explained that I remember a conversation where the word I want has been used previously (by me or someone else) and re-run that encounter in my head to 'hear' the word I need. I know when I first read something of Temple Grandin's I felt relief because it wasn't just me who did this - mine is slightly different in that my re-runs are as if they are on old worn out film - the images aren't clear and they never have people in them - people are represented by a dark shapes that I know is the person (that sounds weird, I know what I mean - I think it's more to do with having trouble with faces).

do you use this as a way of pre-planning conversations???? I usually pre-plan any potentially "difficult" conversations, ie most phone stuff, anything to people above or below me at work and the more common thing for pre-planning - presentations etc. I do this too much with my counselling i pre-plan what im saying because the "stress" makes me forget. Its odd though cos if you put a spy microphone in my room youd hear me chatting and having arguements with myself while i pre-run a future conversation!!!!!!!

 

WHat i hate is when interrupted i then brain dump the whole thing WHOOPS and have to mental rewind and replay.

 

At least you have a method, I just stare blankly, close my eyes or disolve into giggles

I do that when im in trouble or naughty!!!!!

 

People tell me off and i smile and end up giggling espcially if someone does something even remotely amusing in background.

 

I did it when i accidently flooded a few hundred litres of water into the submarine control room forgetting to open the right valve to drain water from voicepipe. It went everywhere and i couldnt stop laughing even while the Captain was screaming at me

[warrenpenalver]

Me and me boys heads are screwed on backwards (M's exactly the same - makes for interesting conversations! )..........

r

I will remember to bring a screwdriver to the Meet!!!

[Mumble]

do you use this as a way of pre-planning conversations???? I usually pre-plan any potentially "difficult" conversations ... Its odd though cos if you put a spy microphone in my room youd hear me chatting and having arguements with myself while i pre-run a future conversation!!!!!!!

Yes, all the time. I've had my meeting with my supervisor, doctor, whoever several times before I have it It's fine if it goes the way I've planned it out, but if the other person starts or goes off in an unexpected way, I'm totally lost as my 'conversation' doesn't fit and I have nothing to replace it with.

[bid]

I do this too

 

Bid

[ScienceGeek]

Me too.

[pookie170]

On the remembering thing, I loose words when talking to academics about me work - which was how this came up, because I was asked how I find the words again, and I explained that I remember a conversation where the word I want has been used previously (by me or someone else) and re-run that encounter in my head to 'hear' the word I need.

 

I was told that the way 'people' (hmm, does the way that was said imply I'm not thought of as a person? ) remember something they've forgotten is that they make a conscious effort not to make an effort to remember it and then they remember it. I don't do this. I was just wondering what others would say they do.

 

What utter bunkum!! This is total nonsense, everyone has different ways of remembering thigs!! Do you recall the Ant and Dec saturday night show thing where they had to remeber five facts about each child in a primary school class? They were taught to improve their memory by mentally associating the facts with pictures in their head. For instance, perhaps one kid was called Claudia. She was 5, liked cats and dressing up. Her favourite food was spaghetti and she was learning french. You would make up a mind picture including these facts to spur your imagination. Personally, I would picture a cat extending its claws( likes cats, called Claudia, geddit?), wearing a fairy costume whilst holding spaghetti and saying 'Oo-la-la!' for the other 3 facts.

And it works! For facts anyway! But thats not how I do it naturally.....

In my natural state I um and erm a lot and scrabble frantically through the refuse pile that is my memory whilst the other person watches me expectantly!!!

 

I also thingummy and wotsit with abandon, and frequently go through 5 nmes, including the dos', whilst trying to call the children!!! D'oh!!

 

Esther x