Dressing for school

[Cariad]

Anyone else have a hard time getting their child ready?

 

T will play mosquitos with his fingers and make high pitched noises and swear like a trucker! Atm we are trying the reading approach, we read a story while he gets dressed then when he stops we stop reading. It worked for a while now he doesn't seem to care..

 

We tried the photos of what needs to go on, that failed, the bribes, the shouting, the cuddle approach *sigh*

 

Anyone cracked it yet?

[EmmaB]

Anyone else have a hard time getting their child ready?

 

T will play mosquitos with his fingers and make high pitched noises and swear like a trucker! Atm we are trying the reading approach, we read a story while he gets dressed then when he stops we stop reading. It worked for a while now he doesn't seem to care..

 

We tried the photos of what needs to go on, that failed, the bribes, the shouting, the cuddle approach *sigh*

 

Anyone cracked it yet?

 

Dd is really bad at doing anything herself and will also take an age to do it and generally I end up "helping". I have however discovered that she loves being rewarded with a sticker if she gets dressed on her own. I gave her a sticker one day just because she managed to get dressed on her own with little "drama" and I wanted to reward her and since then she's got dressed and asked for a sticker most days.

 

Only a small thing, but might help? I also find switching the TV off helps!

[Cariad]

Dd is really bad at doing anything herself and will also take an age to do it and generally I end up "helping". I have however discovered that she loves being rewarded with a sticker if she gets dressed on her own. I gave her a sticker one day just because she managed to get dressed on her own with little "drama" and I wanted to reward her and since then she's got dressed and asked for a sticker most days.

 

Only a small thing, but might help? I also find switching the TV off helps!

 

The TV is always off until they get dressed and have breakfast. T's sisters get dressed in the other room so he has no distractions. I've tried stars and stickers but he just doesn't care about stickers

[mrsmuffins]

Yes, the TV has to be off here as well and absolutely no other distractions around, I lay his clothes out for him in the living room as it's the most boring room with none of his toys or books about - and he still has to be reminded what to put on in what order, and to continue getting dressed and not go off and do something else or start singing and dancing and twirling etc <sigh> it does take a long time but we get there in the end!

 

Edited to say he does like stickers as rewards but only at school - he couldn't give a fig for them at home wish I knew their secret!

Edited May 8, 2008 by mrsmuffins

[brooke]

this is something im starting to do too. My son is going to have a picture of each clothes item on velcro which he can take off once he has put this item on and a little reward at the end like a small sweet or something, i hope this will work with my son

[Shnoing]

Ours is fascinated by numbers so we count together, that distracts him from getting dressed.

[jb1964]

Anyone else have a hard time getting their child ready?

We tried the photos of what needs to go on, that failed, the bribes, the shouting, the cuddle approach *sigh*

Anyone cracked it yet?

 

Hi Cariad,

 

Sorry don't have any magic answers but just wanted to say yes we had this from age 4 til 11 - it was a nightmare with lots of days where the screaming and refusal led to her not going - plus lots of tears from my mum and me through pure frustration (bribary gets us no where in our house). Once she mastered a visual timetable at 12 she improved. I think from what I've read on here it's quite common.

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited May 8, 2008 by jb1964

[CarolineJ]

I phone Daddy at work and tell him of Bim's success, then when we get to school, I tell his teacher too. Daddy brings back a paperclip from work - current obsession and Bim's teacher tells him to put a marble in the class jar

 

It's working for now.

[Enid]

Hi caroline, glad the paper clip and marbles are working, for now! trying to keep up with what works is what its all about as everything works for a short time I`ve found, my son is now 12 and hard cash is the current curancy plus he needs to know what he is saving up for. We have mornings off to a fine art now, but its taken years, and if one thing goes wrong, he wont get in taxi and go!! Enid

[KarenT]

I get up at 5.30 and J at 6.45 to make sure he has time to get ready for school in his dawdly fashion but without too much intervention from me.

 

We use photograph checklists but he rarely uses them, one of the few tools to have failed with J. But I must point out that even the most successful ones took several months to crack and he still needs reminders for many of them. There are no easy or quick answers so you'll have to be patient and determined, and prepared to stick at it for a long time before you see any improvement.

 

The right motivators help for J. He has a Job Chart on the wall with blu-tacked tickets for each task. He gets a token for each one so that motivates him to do the jobs as the tokens get converted into pocket money at the end of the week. Also, because we have potentially a lot of time in the mornings, once all the jobs are done he gets to choose what he wants to do - tv or computer etc. If he doesn't get ready in time he has less time for these, and this is pointed out to him throughout the morning as an incentive.

 

Taking a little extra time has really helped with J because it means there's less rush in the mornings and he's calm and relaxed by the time he gets to school.

 

Karen

x

[sesley]

Anyone else have a hard time getting their child ready?

 

T will play mosquitos with his fingers and make high pitched noises and swear like a trucker! Atm we are trying the reading approach, we read a story while he gets dressed then when he stops we stop reading. It worked for a while now he doesn't seem to care..

 

We tried the photos of what needs to go on, that failed, the bribes, the shouting, the cuddle approach *sigh*

 

Anyone cracked it yet?

 

 

i have used my drawings for social stories and they do work for a bit,and i must say i don't keep them up for long i hope he grasps the routine and then i need to do more drawings to get him back on track,but p has no as my oh says excecutive function, in all things, he dosn't seem to grasp the fact that to get to places or avoid anything like dirty pants he has to stop what he is currently doing and do something about it,either put on clothes on time or use the toilet,to stop dirty pants,when he realises he is late he gets upset for both and can't seem to understand cause and effect so we can be in his jammies upto 10 mins before we are mean't to leave,so back to pictures it maybe that i really might need them all the time so no i haven't cracked it on me its my fault for expecting him to follow normal routines,without promting.

[sadie]

This is still one of our biggest problems.....getting ready for anything. DD 13 can do everything herself, indeed refuses help

( she considers herself to be v independent)! but Just takes AGES!! Indeed have largely given up doing fun things on a Saturday am cos its SO nice not to have to shout one day of the week!! (Did have a short period when thing seemed to be moving on and then DD hit 13, so whether its the ASD or puberty I'm not sure) Anyway wish you the best of luck, this whole family knows what you're going through.

[CarolineJ]

I shot myself in the foot here. We had a hell of a morning today! Bloomin' typical!

[sueeltringham]

We have a strict order for everything. Dictated by my son of course . It helps that I have a toddler to dress and nappy change, so we all go into her room. It's taken us about 3 years to get to this point and lots of breaking tasks down and rewards for each very small step forwards (such as managing to TRY and put a sock on without help, even if not on properly). So, now we have a competition of who can do what first. Countdowns also help, but we use that strategy all the time for other tasks too. Of course, it all goes pear shaped if something is out of order, or something is missing or wrong (wrong socks for instance?). It's so fixed that socks have to go on first, pants next, etc. He can independently dress now, but needs me in the same room and it all breaks down if 'we' finish first and have to go downstairs to feed my youngest. So, after all this rambling, what I'm saying is that we've established a strict routine which works for us and it will take time. We have tasks split into mini tasks and mini rewards. Hard work, but worth it in the end.

 

sue

[biff]

I still do it for him because he just gets really angry.

[happymonday]

Yer nightmare here to EVERYDAY seems to end in a screaming session.....

But thats from dh as Ds can never sort himself out on a bad day it can take an hr to dress at least.

[bikemad]

I still do it for him because he just gets really angry.

 

Same here-if I left ds do it he wouldn't get to school cos he would work himself into such a stinking mood n temper so on school days I dress him.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Yup. Experiencing the same - how tiresome every morning without fail (but worse on a Friday because of assembly)!? Depending on what kind of mood kiddo is in, I find that racing him can help eg 'bet you can get your pants on by the time I've done X, Y, Z'.

 

Caroline.

[biff]

T will play mosquitos with his fingers

 

Can you explain mosquito fingers for me please. I think my son does the same thing?? Is it like a certain shape with the fingers?